Hear Me Now
by J Elise
Summary: What if Jubilee began to deteriorate after O:ZT and she was sent back to live with the X-Men?  And what if there was only one person who could help her control her changing attitude and abilities?
1. Author's Note

Just a little background for my story. I've read some of the comics, so I'm familiar with a lot of the storylines, but there may still be some inconsistancies.

This story takes place after Operation: Zero Tolerance. In my story, Jubilee was never rescued by the X-men. How she finds her way back is explained within the story. She finishes out her senior year at the Massachusetts Academy. However, instead of going to Los Angeles with Angelo, her powers force her to take a different route. She is transferred to several different X-teams before finally settling back in with the X-men. Most of the key events in Jubilee's life have still taken place. Her room being burned…Everett dying…Wolverine's issues with being turned into death and having his adamantium ripped out, etc. But the most devastating of which is, of course, her imprisonment with Bastian.

As for Gambit, this takes place after Gambit # 24 where he defeats New Sun and survives all of the assassination attempts that push his powers to the brink. Sinister's operation has allowed Gambit's powers to return to its normal levels. He is still dealing with the after effects of being left in Antarctica by Rogue. The trial has caused major issues to come to light with the X-family and has created a rift within the team. To make matters more complicated, Joseph is still living at the mansion (although his origins are unknown). He and Gambit are still at great odds because of the real Magneto's part in the trial and Joseph's relationship with Rogue.

In my story, Jubilee is 25 and Gambit is 30. So the age difference isn't so much an issue. I'd like to think this Jubilee has been made to be a bit more mature after her trying experiences. I apologize if she is in some ways a little out of character.


	2. Help Is On The Way

Author's Note: This is just the first chapter of a story I've been working with for a long time. I'm just putting it up for a test run to see how it does. More chapters may come as I write them. But for now, enjoy:)

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue.

Song Suggestion: Help Is On The Way – Rise Against

Jubilee trudged down the narrow streets of downtown New York with a sigh on her lips. Her baggy jeans dragged the ground as her black leather duster fanned out behind her. The coat all but hid the muscular curves accentuated by her black sleeveless shirt.

As she walked, she skillfully surveyed her surroundings. She had deliberately picked one of the shoddier parts of the city just so some jerk would materialize out of the shadows and try to knock her to kingdom come. With the mood she was in, he'd be in a coma before he even knew what hit him.

Her hands twitched just thinking about it.. She was aching for a good fight. Not anything huge…just one or two idiots to smack around. Anything to take her mind off what had happened in the years since Operation Zero Tolerance.

Living at the X-Mansion was going to hell. But that wasn't anything compared to living with Frosty. She had respect for the woman, but she wasn't exactly the understanding type. Her Senior year at the academy had been a series of constant fights, showing out in the danger room, childish pranks, and failing grades…all of which had led to a falling out with the Ice Queen herself. The bitch had wanted to probe her mind – to get to the root of her "emotional troubles". Or whatever it was that was making her "act out."

The funny thing was Jubilee wasn't acting. She was simply trying to distance herself. To retrieve the part of her soul she lost after Operation Zero Tolerance. She wanted to become the teenager she had been before she met the X-men. The spunky street kid who was forced to depend on herself and rely on her own wits for survival. After all, if she only had herself to live for, she would never have to worry about putting anyone else in danger. After losing her parents and almost betraying the X-men…she simply didn't have the strength left to worry about what could happen if she got attached to anyone else.

Frosty, of course, would never understand that. Which was just fine with Jubilee. It only made her work that much harder to maintain the psychic shields Bastian had forced her to resurrect. It didn't matter how much Emma tried to break through. It simply did no good. Because what Jubilee would never allow the telepath to realize was the extent that Bastian's imprisonment had already broken her. That inglorious bastard had taken away her sense of security and made her realize how easily her mind could be breached. The latent psychic abilities she had been harboring manifested themselves out of a need to protect her friends from his cruel torture. And she wasn't about to relax and take down her shields just to make her guardian feel like the mother she clearly wasn't.

At the end of her senior year, the two were infamously at each other's throats. Even Sean thought they both needed some space. So they had doctored her grades a little and she tried the whole college thing. She had even done okay for a few semesters… Until the nightmares started. Soon they had invaded her every waking thought and left her looking sideways at everyone who crossed her path. It was why she couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and couldn't focus on anything academic to save her life. It's not that she was dumb. She just didn't care anymore.

When she finally came crawling back, Emma was no longer the sanctimonious bitch she had been. It was _way _worse than that. Mother hen mode had taken over to the point she was watching Jubilee like a hawk. She couldn't feel the slightest bit of emotion without the telepath's pull on her senses. Finally when the fed up Asian could take no more, Emma had conceded to a different approach. Apparently, Jubilee had worn the White Queen's psychic abilities to a frazzle. To say nothing of what the Asian was experiencing trying to keep Emma out of her head.

The leather clad vixen had finally been reduced to counseling Jubilee on her options for the future. Apparently those options included being pawned off like an unwanted chore on various X-teams. Come to find out, Gen X was all fine and dandy as long as the X-teams didn't have to accept them as new recruits. Noone wanted to put an "inexperienced kid" out on the battlefield. The few times she had managed to con her way into a mission, she had held her own, but the others felt the need to pull her out of trouble when things got too hot. Hence, she never got to do what she did best: fight. The experience had not only had a dismal effect on her personality, but also did wonders for her self-esteem.

If it weren't for her powers acting up, she probably never would have found herself back with the X-men. She hadn't wanted to go back because she knew she was at her weakest with the people who had practically raised her. She didn't need to crack and make her problems explode in their faces. Nor would she endanger them if they did.

She needed a way out. Running away was the only option that made any sense. After all, it's what had kept her alive for the first half of her life. But that was before she'd had a family. Of telepaths no less! Where could she go where they couldn't track her down?

She was already under constant surveillance because her powers had decided to go haywire. Beast was loathe to let her out of his sight (thank God he didn't know about this little excursion). Emma had seen to it that she couldn't even work her frustrations out in the danger room without a monitor. As if that weren't enough, all of the X teams still considered her too young to have any real problems. They might as well just have told her that the whole thing with Bastion had never happened. No one acknowledged how it had affected her, opting instead to treat her like she was still that same obnoxious loudmouth thirteen year old that got in everyone's way. Emma may have been self-righteous and tiresome. But atleast she cared.

And really…who else could she go to? Everyone had their own problems. Ange and Jono were miles away. Everett was dead. And then there was Logan. Who was tied up with ShadowCat…and Jean Grey. Really! It was just downright pathetic to watch Logan continually grovel at the feet of a woman who caused him nothing but continual suffering. All because Jean couldn't decide between her passion with Logan or her security with Scott. She supposed she should inform ol' One Eye about what was going on behind his back, but the backlash would somehow find its way to her. And the last thing she needed was to be on an intrusive telekinetic's shitlist.

Perhaps the only good thing about Operation: Zero Tolerance was that it had taught her how to be loyal to the ones you loved. The X-men seemed to be having issues in that department. Especially Rogue. Jubilee may not have been very close to the Cajun, but the man was actually trying to make peace with a woman who left him to die in fucking Antartica. And that Southern floozy was too busy making eyes at Joseph to notice how her actions affected him. Every time they had any interaction, he came back with this haunted look in his eyes. Like he wished she had left him there or something.

So yes, she had a problem, with Jean and Rogue, respectively. The crazy thing was that they were the subject of every male X-mens' fantasies. She was constantly catching well-guarded stares which were obviously not directed at her, and was left to wonder what the recipients had that she didn't. Other than conflicted personalities, volatile mood swings, and perky boobs.

The next thought that occurred to her made her lips twist darkly. Maybe if she tried being a sex kitten, she'd get the others to finally notice her. _Yeah…before or after they threaten Emma for being a bad influence and tell me to cover up? _Here she was nearing twenty-five and they still treated her like she hadn't hit puberty. Her body, though very well toned, still lacked the voluptuousness that characterized most of the other X-women. She was more a tomboy than anything the men would consider droolworthy. She hadn't even had anything resembling a love interest. One night stands sure. But noone who actually cared about her.

Tired and depressed, she made her way down a back alley. It was only now she realized that if she were to get in a fight, the jeans would weigh her down, and she had no weapons other than her pafs. Not to mention her communicator was sitting at home on her dresser. These were, of course, slight disadvantages that she could easily overcome. Still, she tried a little harder to stay out of sight as the streets got darker and less crowded.

Ducking back, she contemplated climbing a fire escape and traveling by roof since the buildings were all so jam packed. The aggression and frustration she had felt earlier gave way to a weariness and longing for home. If she could even call it that anymore…

As she stepped out onto the first rung of the fire escape, her foot managed to slip out from under her. Clearly this wasn't her night. Before she could catch herself, she felt a sharp yank on her leg. Instinctively she kicked, but lost her grip on the bars in the process. Stumbling backwards, she found herself in the arms of a bulky man who had seemingly popped up out of nowhere. Had he been trailing her and she honest-to-God hadn't noticed? She really must have been out of it.

The man's breath hit Jubilee square in the face. It reeked of cigarettes and cheap alcohol. "Well well well. Look what I caught. You know, you shouldn't be out so late by yourself. You might get hurt."

"By you?" She countered as she twisted her body out of his grasp. "I doubt it." A smirk crossed her features as she threw her fist in his face. Blood spewed out from his nose, and the man let out a yell which sent a bunch of goons charging into the alley to see about their buddy.

She barely had time to turn as three idiots assaulted her from behind. She spun around and launched her foot into the first stomach she saw. Pulling back in, she pivoted into a crouch and stuck her leg out to meet the next sucker who was sent sprawling into the cement. In an instant, she turned her attention to a third one sneaking up behind her with a baseball bat_. _"Talk about subtle." She murmured before swinging into action.

She spun around and grabbed the bat in her hands just as he swung. Using the forward momentum, she crashed the handle straight into his jaw, sending him reeling backwards. Seeing her chance to escape, she barreled toward the fire escape and jumped. Only to find herself pulled back in mid jump. To keep from landing flat on her ass, she found just enough leverage to flip into a back handspring, sending whoever had grabbed her toppling away.

Unfortunately, it landed her in the middle of the street with no clear access to the metal bars that were to be her salvation. Scanning her environment, she tried to get a clear count of how many meaty thugs were advancing. She waited as they encircled her, so she could be sure of the position of each and every asshole. There had to be at least 15 now. Where the hell did they all come from?

As she avoided another punch, she realized it was too late to worry about that. She had to attack. Which is exactly what she did.

After twenty minutes of flipping, sweeping, pivoting, punching, and kicking, it was evident that these guys weren't going to back down. Her adrenaline rush had worn off already and she was was going to be forced to use her powers. Until now she hadn't wanted to let them know she was a mutant, just in case this somehow ended up on the evening news. She could just see the look on Professor Xavier's face… But these guys weren't just some crackpots off the street—they had skill. Right now there were seven left standing, and it looked as if she had a fighting chance. Jubilee felt her pafs warm her fingertips. Cursing her luck, she began to regret leaving the mansion. She had only wanted a small fight, not a no-holds-barred brawl.

Again, she launched herself and got ready to spring right and make a run for it. Her hands spread in front of her to release a plasma burst right before she felt herself jerked up and slammed back down on her stomach. Trying to get free was out of the question as six guys threw themselves on top of her like rabid football players. Realizing the danger they were in, they quickly grabbed her hands and shackled them behind her while another guy beat her legs until she was sure they weren't there anymore. This, coupled with her wheezing pants ensured them that she wouldn't be getting up anytime soon.

She felt a kick on her side and rolled over onto her back to avoid the blows. Not one to take things lying down, she used the only weapon she had left – her mouth. All it earned her was a slug in the face. It only took a few seconds before she was spitting blood while some fat jerk stuffed a rag in her mouth.

She felt a weight on top of her as the same jerkoff climbed aboard, crushing her hips into the pavement. It wasn't until he began to paw at her jeans that she realized she might really be in trouble. She struggled valiantly against his grunting and tugging, but he still managed to buck them down over her hips. The contents of her stomach threatened to come up as she felt his hands snake under her shirt. Sweat poured from her burning face as his hands jiggled their target.

In some strange way, it reminded Jubilee of someone squishing jell-o between their fingers.

"You got a nice package sweetcheeks." His tongue darted in and out of his mouth as he eyed her body. Bile rose in the back of her throat and mixed with the spit spilling out around the gag. There was a dull ache all over her legs and her arms scraped against the pavement every time she was forced to move.

The hard pinch on her nipples and the sound of zippers sealed her fate. She choked down her screams as she was pulled forward, her body grating on the rough cement. She didn't even have time to throw in a final insult before she was hurled back from the stab of his crooked rod. He rammed into her so rough and deep it felt like a blowtorch ripping into her. Like dogs sniffing out a scent, his buddies joined in. The metal from the shackles sizzled and sparked, but her hands remained ensnared. Her back raked against the pavement as she was bounced up and down irreverently.

Tangled black hair fanned around her bloody, bruised head like a halo. Her head lolled back as her eyes rolled upwards into her head. She vaguely remembered hearing "thanks for nothing, bitch" and feeling something wet before she finally blacked out. The girl was too far gone to notice that the chains around her wrists lay melted open and the places where they had touched her skin were seared white.


	3. I'm Slipping, Falling

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or Marvel or anything else, so don't sue.

Song Suggestion: I'm Slipping, I'm falling -DMX

"See to live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering."

Jubilee opened her bleary eyes. Her tears mixing with the dried blood smeared across her face. Her mind was nothing but a twisted mess. Her memories seemed to be a mix of tangled limbs, cursing, and then…something else. Something dark and foreboding. Something that wanted to stay buried.

As she lay flat on her back, arms pinned beneath her, she concentrated on the sensations in her body. Her limbs had fallen asleep under the stress of her weight. She thought she could feel some sort of metal poking into her wrists, but wasn't sure if her hands were tied or not. She felt an overwhelming need to move them, but couldn't lift herself up enough to get any relief flowing through her veins.

The more conscious she became, the more aware she was of a sharp throbbing pain that sent fire from her crotch down to her inner thigh. It was a screaming reminder of whatever the hell had happened last night. Dreading the bits and pieces which would only lead to a restored memory, she banished those threads of dangerous thoughts which would make her panic.

With only a vague idea of how she'd ended up in the state she was in, it was much easier for her to focus on getting the hell out of there. Panicking just because she was half clothed, lying in an alley, and unable to move was not going to help her remedy the situation. After years of experience on and off the battlefield, her survival instincts were kicking into overdrive.

That necessary little voice in the furthermost recesses of her psyche was nagging at her to focus on getting feeling into her body. Starting with her toes. She closed her eyes and let the whiteness wash over her vision. The only sound she heard was the coaxing of her own inner voice telling her toes to cooperate. If she could get them to move, then the feeling would spread and she would be able to move other things. After a few minutes, she felt her digits loosen and curl. Soon after, she was beginning to flex her feet.

Her legs were still numb. Although the small amount of pain she was starting to feel was mandatory, she wished that it would dissipate altogether because it was too much for her overloaded body to handle. She waited none too patiently as the pins and needles sensation began overtaking her limbs. The pricking of a thousand daggers into her skin was all it took for her to attempt to get her knees to bend. Her cries of effort and pain went unnoticed as she found herself bending and unbending her joints. Moving them slowly as though they were caked with rust.

Still not able to sit up, she found that with no small amount of effort, she was able to rock her body from side to side. Huffing and puffing, she rocked herself up onto her side, letting the jacket shield her back from further damage by the pavement. She paused briefly, catching her breath, before falling ungracefully onto her stomach.

At once her arms succombed to the relief they so desperately needed as they fell free of their confines and landed at odd angles next to her side. Fighting the wave of nausea that overtook her, she spared herself the trouble of blacking out again by focusing on getting her fists to unclench. One by one she pried her fingers open. The second degree burns made it near impossible for her to do it quietly. Once again, she concentrated on getting her body to cooperate. And sure enough, after a few tries, she began to bend her elbows and flex her wrists.

Good. Everything still worked.

That meant she had a shot at getting out of here without additional trouble. Stubborn as she was, she wouldn't telepathically reach out to anyone. She would give anything to handle her own business, if only to spare herself the trouble that would surely come when everyone at the mansion found out she'd been…

Pushing the thought back to where it came from, she began to push herself to her feet. It took seven attempts to get herself on all fours. Her shaking limbs barely held her weight. She was running on pure adrenaline. And it was the only thing that saved her.

With a mighty groan, she finally got herself situated, and was able to lift her head. The first thing she saw was a wall and the top rung of the fire escape with a metal pipe propped up against it. Reaching blindly out in front of her, she hooked her burnt fingers onto the solid rung. And though she knew she wouldn't be able to lift her body for another few minutes, she tested to make sure it was sturdy enough to hold her up.

How much time passed before she was able to pull herself to a standing position didn't matter. She was more worried about getting home. She definitely couldn't drag herself and was in no mood to attract attention. Her communicator was at home, so she couldn't contact anyone_. _Calling the telepaths didn't knew if it was "for her own wellbeing," Jean and Emma would do whatever was necessary to "monitor" her progress. And who knew what the Professor would do? He was the light in her dark world, but would he help her while still respecting her privacy?

There was the chance that Logan was already out looking for her. Then again, he should have found her by now. His heightened senses were too good to miss a trail scented with her blood. A trail which was still active, and had been for hours. No. He was probably at Harrys, starting a bar fight. Or he had left to go see about Kitty. She had called that morning, wailing about something or the other. Besides, even if he did find her and managed to get her back to the mansion, he would opt to bash heads in rather than stay and help her.

Rogue and Joseph were out. Storm was still recovering from the last mission. Gen X was too far away. Bobby would freak. The Professor, Beast, and Cyclops were in Washington. And who knew where Gambit was these days?

Jubilee felt a rush of bitterness that out of everyone in the mansion, there was no one she could rely on. Her face cramped up when she replayed the tired excuses Logan gave her after her first reappearance at the mansion. Out of everyone, she had thought he would be the most supportive. Especially with all that she had been through. When she had needed him the most. But he seemed to have some sort of problem with her dependency. Like he thought she should man up and take some responsibility for what had happened to her. Almost like it was her fault what had happened. _Well fuck that._

With this last thought, she pushed herself up and onto the bar. With one arm wrapped around the rung and supporting her weight, she reached out for the pipe. The stumbling ceased as she regained her balance. Bracing herself against the wall and using pipe as a makeshift cane, she painstakingly made her way out of the alley and into a nearby rundown apartment building. Once she was safely in the building, she realized at once that it was some sleazy motel. You'd think they could have atleast fucked her and left her on a bed instead of out in some dadgum alleyway.

Her eyes fell on the clerk sitting behind a glass panel. His only way of communicating was a small metal tray that moved back and forth between the panels to take money from customers. Amazingly, once he got a good look at her, she was no longer looking at him through the panel. Rather, he had flung open a side door and was standing right in front of her, immediately helping her into one of the dusty sunken chairs. Where the fuck was he last night when all this shit went down?

The guy was surprisingly concerned for someone in this run down part of town. "Miss?" He called anxiously, searching for signs of life in her face. "Miss? Are you alright? You're bleeding pretty badly!"

Looking down she noticed that there was dried blood on her clothes. Lucky for her, there were no fresh wounds, nothing that would stain the carpet anyway. Thankfully, the man had enough common sense not to ask what had happened. After all, in this spot of town, there were some things you just didn't get involved with.

"Please. Just call a cab."

"I think I'd better call an ambulance."

"No!" Her head jerked up to stare him down. "I just need a cab. That's all."

"Look, I wouldn't feel right if I didn't get you to a hospital."

"There's a clinic right near where I live. I just need a cab to get there. Please?" She looked up with such a heartbreaking look that the manager gave up trying to pry, and called for a cab while she swiped her hand across the blood, sweat, and tears on her face. After a fifteen minute wait, she found herself in the back of a taxi, sitting on top of a sheet that the hotel owner had laid out for her. She was sure the cabbie had expressed concern about his car being mucked up.

Jubilee had the driver to drop her off at the back gates of the mansion. Luckily he wasn't the type to ask questions…or obey the express instructions of the hotel clerk. Just wanted the money.

Funny with all her street smarts, she had still chosen to go back to the mansion. She supposed there was really nowhere else for her to go. Not in her condition anyway. A hospital would just ask for insurance. And even if she did give them a fake name, she'd be taken to the "psychiatric ward" so fast her head would spin. That was, after all, where most mutants ended up before being transferred elsewhere. She couldn't take the chance that they wouldn't somehow find out about her powers. Sure, there were mutant clinics around, but all of them had connections with the X-men, and all were on a first name basis with one Dr. Henry McCoy.

She turned her attention back to the dark and seemingly empty mansion. She knew most everyone had gone out for the night, either shopping or partying (it was the weekend after all). And the ones who stayed behind (mostly Gambit and Angel) kept to themselves.

But how to get in without being noticed? She could wait in the woods until the alarm sounded, as it always did…taking the residents of the mansion away to the black bird. Unfortunately she didn't know how much longer she could stay upright.

Thank God she had temporarily regained the use of her limbs well enough to walk without the cane…although it hurt like hell. It was all she could do to keep out of view of Gambit's usual perch while she torturously made her way to the kitchen door. After popping the lock with a tiny spark, she made her way to the stairs, stumbling only twice. She heard no voices, no intercom warnings, and no scuffling of feet on the upper floors. Rest assured now, she reached the stairs, got on her hands and knees, and crawled step by step up to the second floor landing.

She was met with the sight of a long dark hallway. Upon reaching the top step, she clamped her crippled hands on it and managed to push herself up and against the wall. With one final burst of energy, she made a frenzied dash towards her room, crashing into both sides of the hallway while tears, sweat, and spit flew from her face. Her breath came out in growls as she pitched herself forward into the door. Sliding down on her knees, she focused all her energy on getting the knob to turn. Once inside she wedged in between the corner of the door. All of the burning in her eyes, the pain in her body, and the wretched exhaustion, wouldn't stop the strangled moans and gasps that started to fall from her shivering lips.


	4. Don't Care About Nothing At All

Disclaimer: I don't own X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue!

Song Suggestion: DJ Uneek feat. Bizzy Bone - Doctor (I Don't Care About Nothing)

It was still dark outside when the alarm sounded throughout the mansion. Her eyelids fluttered as she heard what she thought was Cyclops signaling everyone to the War Room. But she was beyond exhausted, not able to move even if she wanted to. For the first time since coming to the mansion, she had collapsed into a deep dreamless sleep, and there was no way some jerk wanting to take over the world was going to ruin it.

Blackness enveloped her once again until the late hours of the afternoon. Too soon her eyes were blinded as they opened against their will into the sunlight. She lay still, barely able to lift her arm to shield her face from the onslaught of fiery rays burning her retinas.

Shifting her gaze, she noticed flashing digits reading 3:30. Exactly, how long had she been out? She hadn't been paying attention to much of anything, let alone the passage of time. She didn't even know whether it was Saturday or Sunday.

Trying to get her bearings, she became more and more conscious of everything around here. By degrees, she was able to pull herself off of the bed and close the curtains, cutting off the intrusive light to a mere slit. She had fallen into bed with her dirty clothes, not having bothered to strip. She desperately needed to get out of them and into a shower.

Breathing a sigh, she looked down at what had once been her favorite coat. Which was ruined. Though it had managed to keep her semi-protected for much of the unanticipated fucking. She managed to shrug it off her shoulders without much of a problem. Her shirt was another story. She was forced to use her paffs to burn through the thin material. The cloth disintegrated around her shoulders and fell to her feet without her moving so much as a muscle. She did the same thing with her jeans, burning a slit all the way up the fabric of both legs. She didn't care about salvaging them. They had been ripped to shreds and were on the verge of falling apart anyway. Later she'd burn everything. She wanted no reminders of last night.

Testing her legs, she hobbled a couple of laps around the room. If she was lucky they would hold her weight for the time being. Carefully she made her way to the adjoining bathroom and closed the door. She used much of her upper body strength to climb into the bathtub, sit down and turn on the shower. Her eyes were dry, bloodshot, unblinking as the water pelted her fragile body. It cut rivets into her already damaged skin.

Unable to ignore the increasing throbs of pain, she looked down and saw her wrists had gone from white to orange; and her hands were adorned with boiling blisters, bleeding scuff marks, and white puss-filled swelling which marred every contour. She stared at them, transfixed and wondering why she couldn't feel any pain. Everywhere else hurt like hell, but not her hands. Were her powers acting up again?

Shaking herself and working a towel around the offending objects, she made a feeble attempt to clean off. The best she could do was let the water wash off the loose dirt and caked gravel on her skin. She tried, but couldn't rub off the dried blood and bits of dead skin cells without causing further injury.

Hardly satisfied, but wanting more than anything to wash her hair, she turned off the shower. The lack of the water pressure on her bruises and sores was a welcome relief. With her hands still wrapped in the towel, she twisted them around the lever that turned on the tap. Trying as best she could to stick her head under it, she ran her makeshift mitts over the disheveled strands. The water left it dull and matted with only a few specks of dirt.

Too worn out for any more activity, she drained the water and lay against the cool tile of the shower. She was in too much pain to pull herself up. Yet she had no choice. It was either stay here, naked and drowning, or make it back to safety under the covers of her bed. After a half hour of debating with herself about whether to stay in the tub, she finally used what was left of her energy to climb unsteadily to her feet, and place one leg at a time on the bathmat. Hanging onto the walls for support, she managed to peel her robe from the back of the door and throw it around her shoulders without losing her balance. Fumbling with the sash, she dressed herself and walked unsteadily back to the bed until the weakness in her legs caused them to give way. She stumbled forward, knocking into her bureau with a loud bang.

The insistent knock at her door caused her to lose her center of balance and fall, once again, in an ungracious heap on the floor.

"Jubilee?"

_Fuck. _

"Chére?" Gambit's voice echoed quietly in the empty corridor. "What you doin' in dere?"

"Sleepin'." She adjusted her voice to sound groggy, but the man wasn't fooled.

"Don' sound like it."

"Go away. I got like no sleep last night."

"Why ya be yellin' den?"

"None of your beeswax."

"Dere be a time and place for yo' mouth fille. Now ain't it."

"Look. Just tell Jean or whoever sent ya that I'm fine! Now get the hell away from my door unless you want a faceful of fireworks!"

"Dat a threat chére? Cause Gambit always got time to play. Dat is unless you already gone and broke somethin'."

Jubilee stifled a groan. Leave it to the Cajun to call her out on an empty threat. "I said I'm fine." She ground out through gritted teeth.

"Really?" He said with a disbelieving drawl. "So you wouldn't mind openin' de door?"

"I swear I'm gonna paff your sorry ass into next week…." She grumbled.

"What's dat? Didn't quite catch it." Though he knew full well what she said. Sighing, he resorted to a tactic that required slightly more effort. "Don' tell me I have t' pick de lock."

Jubilee's eyes went wide. She let forth a stream of cursing that would make Wisdom blush. Gambit, however, was used to this sort of welcome. Discreetly, he continued his trade. She continued her rant, all the while silently praying that he was bluffing. Though clearly he wasn't. She contemplated throwing out some plasma grenades as a distraction, but in her weakened state, she could barely make a spark. Best just to piss him off and make him leave.

Seconds later, he entered to find her sprawled face down on the floor. The pitiful sight elicited a word he hadn't used since she first arrived back.

"Petite?"

Involuntary shivers ran across her body as he shut the door and stepped toward her. Every step he took sent a fresh wave of panic through her features. He stopped advancing and crouched down a few feet away. Refusing to acknowledge his presence, she lowered her head so that her hair hid every inch of her face. Taking a chance, he reached out slowly to sweep it back.

Her composure and dignity dropped.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She watched his hand freeze in mid-air.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded, her tone flat and cold. "Saving the world is in your job description ya know."

"Dey don' wan' me dis time petite." He was looking straight at her now, his eyes taking it all in. Everything about her was in disarray. Her limbs were sprawled in different directions, bloody and bruised. Her breath came out in sharp pants, every muscle in her body tightly clenched. She practically whimpered every time he moved. "Why y' be actin' like dis petite?"

She chuckled darkly. How was she supposed to act? She'd just been fucking gang banged! But she'd be damned if she'd let him find out. Her mouth opened and closed several times while she tried to suppress her mounting rage. "Get out." When he made no move to leave, her temper skyrocketed. "NOW!"

"Look me in de eye and tell me dat."

"Excuse me?" Her voice raised with half shock and half panic.

"Look Gambit in de eye. Den he leave."

"You can't just waltz in here and give me some stupid ultimatum. If I wanted you to know my business I would have told you! But since you insist on sticking your nose into it, here's my deal. You leave and I don't tell the Prof about this little breaking and entering incident – with added details."

A smug look tugged at the handsome man's features. Wolverine had taught her well. The fools would believe it too. The girl had a mouth too big for her own good.

"Word to de wise Chére. Better watch who you insult. De ones you hate be de ones who can help. Not like Remy knows what goin' on wit' anyone round here anymore, but I got a better idea den most of de ones you trust. An' you be right. Dis ain't my business. Mais looks like you be gettin' worse 'n worse. Not many I seen dat be lookin' like ya do right now. An de ones dat have don' live ta tell about it. Don' blame ya if you not be wantin' help. De X-men don' trust me. No reason you should either. But if ya don' wan' me here, atleast have de nerve ta look me in de face when ya say it."

"I can't." She whispered in a voice tight with anxiety. Her neck was so cramped, she could barely lift her head up. He knew she was in pain. So why was he asking her to do something so impossibly simple? Something he knew she couldn't do even if she wanted to. "Besides, why should I listen to you? You're just here to make sure I don't kill myself before ratting me out to the Professor."

"What makes you t'ink dat?"

"Because you're just like Wolverine." Fighting against the tears, she tried to spare herself another crying spell. "I can take care of my own business."

"Really? Looks like you doin' a hell of a job."

"Like you care!"

"Would Remy be here if he didn't?"

The use of his first name sent warning bells through her senses. He was trying to make this personal. She wasn't going to get out of this by being bitchy. He wasn't going to leave until he got an answer he was satisfied with. Which meant she was screwed. Royally.

Sucking up her pride, she decided to tell as little of the truth as she could get away with. "It's just scrapes from a fight. No biggie." After seeing the skeptical look on his face, she added something about seeing Beast when he got back to the mansion.

Gambit knew _that_ was a damned lie. But he ignored it. "A fight?" He repeated. "Dat's it? Seems like dere ought ta be more for ya to be actin' lik' dis."

"I said I'm fine."

"Why you tryin' ta lie to a thief petite?"

"Take the hint and leave me alone." Her face was covered in steamy tears and sticky clusters of hair.

"Non."

"What the fuck do you want from me?" She spat, keeping her eyes averted. If she looked him in the eyes, it was all over for her.

"De truth."

She opened her mouth but the words stuck in the back of her throat causing her to gag. Remy watched the involuntary reflex with concern, but made no move to go over and help her. "Is all dis really from a fight?"

"If I tell you, will you promise to leave me the hell alone and keep it to your damned self?"

Slowly he nodded. Best not to break her trust now or else he'd never get the truth out of her.

"Ask whatever you want. I don't like it, I don't answer."

Again, he nodded, agreeing to her terms. "How many?"

"15." She whispered.

"I take it y' didn't win."

"What do you think?" She snarled.

"Did y' use y'r fireworks?"

"Never got a chance." The shame dripped from her tone as she was forced to admit her pisspoor defense the night before.

"Den what happened?"

"They chained me." She spat.

Remy bit back the anger that swelled within. The look on her face was terrible enough to make him want to beat down every male this side of New York.

"Petite." His voice ached with compassion. "All o' dem?" It was a mere whisper, more to himself than the girl.

She wouldn't answer. Instead she bit down on the sleeve of her robe trying to stifle the sobs that coursed through her body. Moving back onto her hands and knees, she covered her face, clawing at her skin. Gambit remained where he was, reaching out only to take her hands in his to stop her from hurting herself. With her face exposed, she realizing she was once again vulnerable with nowhere to hide. Her chest erupted with dry heaves. With a distressed moan, she fought with him to clutch at her robe, trying to keep it together.

Not wanting to make any more sudden movement unannounced, he let go and waited for her to adjust before telling her that he was going to take off his coat and give it to her. Registering what was being offered, she stayed stark still. When the fabric fell around her shoulders she frantically pulled it together, clutching at it for dear life. The look in her eyes was worse than any of the physical damage. They were haunted, almost beyond seeing. He crouched down a few feet away, not sure of how to try and relax her.

Charm wasn't something he liked to use on a woman. He preferred if they came to him willingly, not because he was manipulating them. But in this instance, it seemed to be the only course of action. In an act of desperation, he penetrated her icy blue depths, trying to coax her mentally to relax and let him in. Just enough so that she would know he wasn't going to leave her lost.

Tentatively, he moved towards her. She wasn't backing up or panicking which was a good sign.

Summoning up the last of her courage, she met his gaze dead on. Her eyes moved over every inch, casing out every subtle movement, every intention. From what he could gather, all she really wanted was someone who could be trusted.

He knew better than to be shocked when he noticed a change. The sapphire orbs no longer flashed in anger and rage. Instead, they held an aching sadness that penetrated the layers of his mind. He kept his gaze fixed on her as he bent down to meet her face to face. Pulling himself into a comfortable sitting position, he leaned over and whispered softly to her.

"C'mere petite."

To his credit, she inched her way ever so slowly across the floor. Although there were mere inches between them, it took a few minutes to coax her as she wavered between the emotions that would ultimately be her downfall. Soon, however, she was on her hands and knees in front of him – the coat and the robe still in place. He reached out, pulling her softly against him. Ashamed, she hid her face in his chest. Even through the thick coat, he felt her constant shudders, and moved to envelop her in a warm hug. Smoothing the hair back off her forehead, he whispered in broken French and English as the girl's whimpers grew more frantic. "Ne tu inquiétez pas petite. Ain' nobody gonna hear y' but me." Locked in a tight embrace against his chest, she broke. Her howls could be heard echoing throughout the empty mansion.


	5. I'll Look After You

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.

Song Suggestion: The Fray – Look After You

Remy looked at the girl resting in his arms. She was neither awake nor asleep. Her eyes were open but they stared dully at nothing. He found himself becoming lost in the empty blue gray pools. Though there was no denying they were completely different people, there seemed to be in each of them things which came from seeing too much, feeling too much, and knowing too much. The wounds all over her body were evidence enough of that.

Easing his arms under her thin frame, he lifted her off the floor and walked to the bed. It was nearing nightfall, and she needed as much sleep as she could get. He tried not to wake her as he slid her out of his arms and onto the sheets. His efforts were rewarded with a small gasp as she lost contact with him.

The girl's eyes went blank as she frantically groped about for the arm that she had been clinging to. A whimper sounded, as if she would lose herself if she didn't find it. Taking her back in his arms he whispered, "Ne pluerez pas. Je suis ici." The whimpering ceased. Blinking several times, she regained focus but still seemed to be looking straight through him.

He put a hand on her forehead.

"S'okay Petite….Jes' checkin' ta see if ya be gettin a fever."

The heat of his hand burned against her chilled body. Unable to withstand the contact, her eyes closed for a second. When she opened them, she had somehow found her voice again. "You're gonna tell the others…"

When he didn't answer right away, she plowed on ahead with her thoughts. "And there's not a damn thing I can do to stop you. Just please don't tell them about…what happened. I swear I'll do whatever you want! I just – I just don't want anyone tryin to talk to me about it…."

"Hush chérie." He stopped her before she could get out another word. "Gambit promise he won' say nothin'. Not even ta Beast, til ya say it be alright. D'accord?

The distrust was visible in her face. But she managed to relax a little, believing that she had bought herself some time. "Why are you helping me?"

"You ain't a child. Ain't been for a long time. An' Gambit respect ya if ya not be wantin' everybody in yer buisness. But right now you be in pretty bad shape. Ya can't even walk, an' who knows what other damage been done." He watched her face contort as reality hit home. But it didn't stop him from saying what needed to be said. "Not to mention dese scrapes n' burns need t' be seen after. Beast ain' here and Gambit don' t'ink it can wait."

"You can't be serious..."

Gambit stared at her pointedly. She was about to damn near pass out from the pain and if he left her to her own devices she'd have to have her limbs surgically removed. Unnerved by his watchful eye, she reluctantly held her tongue.

"Gotta get de med kit first. You be okay fer a few minutes?"

"Whatever." He barely heard it escape her mouth, and quite frankly he wasn't used to hearing something so withdrawn come from the woman who used to have a bigger mouth than all the other X-men combined. Looks like she had gone and grown up on him. The hard way. At least this time she would be taken care of first and scolded later.

* * *

><p>With Gambit gone, Jubilee was finally able to relax by taking a long look around what had been her room for the past twelve years. Her eyes roamed over the various knick knacks which lay scattered across the floor in piles. There was the box of things that had been retrieved from the fire at the Gen-X academy. Her beloved and beat up cowboy hat given to her by Wolvie. The wilting fern in the corner that had been a gift from Storm…<p>

Her eyes came to rest on the tons of pictures which lined her walls. They were memories of happier times. Keeping them fresh in her mind was the only thing that helped keep her sanity.

Her more recent wardrobe, consisting of her uniform and various shades of black adorned the floor. The bright and colorful clothes scattered in and around her closet had long since become dark and faded. Much like her past.

If anyone were to come in her room, they would assume she was just an ordinary teen with no sense of organization. But she was well past her teenage years. And she simply didn't have the heart to throw out the things that were once an important part of her life.

Regretably, most everyone focused on the mess. Lord knows she was constantly getting lectures somewhere along the lines of "You've got to be more responsible. We have more important things to do than make sure you clean up after yourself." Come to think of it, it was the same lecture she got whenever she had to be bailed out of trouble on a mission. Why she bothered to put up with it day after day remained a mystery to her.

Choosing to drown out her thoughts, she raised a straining hand towards the stereo on her headboard. After a few tries, the sound of soothing chords filled the room. Closing her eyes, she let it fill her aching head, taking her thoughts to a safer place and time. So much so, she hardly noticed Gambit as he walked back in, medkit in hand.

He placed the medkit by the bed and took the basin he had brought with him into the bathroom. Filling it with water, he cleared her night stand and set it on top. Retrieving a handful of washcloths and a couple of towels, he placed them beside the basin before opening the kit and setting out gauze, roller bandages, cloth tape, antiseptic wipes, and a couple of asprin.

Jubilee was grateful that he seemed to have some sort of sixth sense with women. Without words, he knew she would let him do what he needed to do as long as he was wary of his actions.

* * *

><p>Keeping silent, Gambit slipped a hand under her back, propping her up on the pillows. Of course, it wasn't easy to remain so detached when he got his first good look at the bruises on her face. Sucking in his breath, his hand strayed down to her cheek. Cradling it in his hand, he ran his thumb along the roughened skin, wiping away the salty tears that burned at her face.<p>

"Keep your hands to yourself Cajun." Her voice brought him out of his revarie. It was disconcerting that her tone didn't carry half the venom it normally would have. "It hurts too much."

"Je suis desole ma petite. Remy promise to be gentle."

Now he was worried. She never followed up insults with explanations and he knew by the way she averted her eyes that she was talking about more than physical pain. The corners of his mouth pulled down knowingly but he pushed no further.

"And I'm not petite." She stated huffily.

"But of course chérie." He half smiled, noting that bit of her personality which still remained in tact.

He took the blanket from the foot of the bed and pulled it up to her collarbone, leaving her arms resting on top. From there it was easy to slip her robe down past her shoulders and off of her arms without exposing anything.

Taking a cloth, he dipped it into the basin of water he had placed beside her bed. Carefully he lifted one of her palms off of the blanket. He then took each of her fingers, wrapping them individually in the cloth, then dabbing at them to remove loose deposits of blood, dirt, and dead skin. Using the same procedure, he proceeded slowly over her hand up her arm. Though she never protested, it troubled him to see the mixture which stained the white cloth and soiled the water almost before he had even started. Before moving to her other arm, he had to get a fresh cloth and refill the basin. This time he ended up removing twice as much as before. The cuts were too deep to apply antiseptic to, so he skillfully wrapped her palms, wrists and arms in gauze.

"I waited for them y'know…the X-men." Her voice cut the tension like a bright sunbeam cutting its way through fog. The silence dragged on and Gambit was afraid she was going to withdraw again. But he knew better than to interrupt her musing. "No one came. I didn't really think anyone would. No one really knew I was gone…much less where I was. Had to find my own way back home."

At this point, Gambit couldn't tell whether she was talking about last night or something else. He knew next to nothing about what she had been through. The only information he heard about Jubilee was what he'd been told by Storm or overheard from the others. And that wasn't much. Though, he'd seen her when she'd come back to stay at the mansion, and he _knew_ something was wrong. Something more than just the scars that came with being an X-man. But he'd had his own demons to wrestle with. He wasn't about to take on hers too.

Deciding to test her grip on reality, he asked: "Where you go chérie?"

She snorted, almost causing herself a nosebleed. "To hell and back."

Sensing her tone, he didn't press for details. Instead he tried to find out whether she was still coherent or not. It seemed she was drifting in and out through a series of flashbacks. "When all dis happen?"

"Figures you wouldn't know anything."

"A lot been happenin' chere. In case ya hadn't noticed, Gambit not exactly been around too much lately."

"Wouldn't matter if you were. You wouldn't have come either."

Gambit, of course, couldn't argue with her logic. He, like the others, had his own agenda. And saving Jubilee, who was supposed to be looked after by her guardians, was not high on his list of priorities. Atleast not when there were more important battles being fought. And he wasn't one to miss out on the action. Besides, it's not like he was obligated to find her. He barely had any contact with her once she had moved to the Massachusetts Academy.

"How long it take you ta get home?"

"A month. Emma said the others at the academy were gone too…but she and Sean found them. Figured the X-Men had me covered. "

Gambit let out a low grunt. "Seems 'bout right for dis bunch."

* * *

><p>Jubilee kept her mouth shut, though silently agreed. Whatever reasons Gambit had to be bitter, he wasn't gonna talk about them. After the whole Antartica thing, (which you'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to hear about considering how it had everyone's panties in a twist), Jubilee was sure she wouldn't want to talk to anyone either. Gambit had always preferred keeping things to himself. Unlike her however, he did so voluntarily.<p>

She could understand that. There were some things that people just didn't need to know because they would twist it to fit their own point of view. Rogue, for example was notorious for it. And everyone knew it. Not like she kept it some big secret.

Guilt began to gnaw at her insides. She knew that Rogue was seeing Joseph, but did Gambit? He probably did, considering that the Cajun knew everything there was to know about anyone at the mansion. Perhaps he turned a blind eye. She wondered if he knew that Rogue had gotten control of her powers over a week ago...and she had spent that entire week in the company of one white haired supervillian turned superhero. One look at the Cajun and she almost spilled everything. Catching herself, she realized there was no reason to make things worse. Still…he was helping her. Shouldn't she return the favor?

The look in the Asian girl's eyes startled the Cajun. There was a flash of compassion that he had never seen in anyone but Storm, Jean Luc, Courier…and a precious few others. Forcing himself to pull away from the faded blue depths, he reminded himself why he was there. He took the robe and gently pulled it back onto her shoulders. Moving on to her legs, he took the end of the blanket and pulled it up to mid-thigh. After tucking the remainder of the blanket under her, he went once again to refill the basin and get a new cloth. Her legs were just as bad as her arms. The cruelty it took to inflict the huge black and purple bruises on her legs troubled him. Though he'd been in similar pain, he had never taken so much care with his own wounds though they were all fixed one way or another. He forced her to move them a little and found nothing was broken; though if she were to stand up right now she'd collapse. They wouldn't be supporting her weight for much longer. She'd probably have to use crutches for awhile.

Jubilee watched him patch up her legs which were starting to swell. Even though it hurt like crazy she forced herself not to pitch a fit. He got roped into this because of her. No reason to make him feel more obligated. She would have gone to Beast in the morning anyway. Atleast, she would have gone if the pain were bad enough to need a sedative. No matter how much the good furry doctor would plead with her to tell the Professor, he would ultimately keep her confidence. After all, there was such a thing as patient confidentiality. Even in the X-mansion.

Though it was tempting just to spill her guts and see everyone's reaction, it was a stupid idea. She had enough to deal with from the Professor as it was. The poor guy was obviously concerned and trying to act in her best interest…but it was hard to do with Emma, Jean and the threat of thermonuclear meltdown breathing down his neck.

Plus she refused to put herself in the path of constant advice and even more medical attention. Sure the other X-men would give her sympathetic looks for awhile after she told them she was attacked by FOH members. But it all amounted to pity. Poor Jubilee who couldn't defend herself against even the Friends of Humanity. _Their _Jubilee who needed to be protected.

Wolverine would be the hardest to deal with. When he was at home, he acted like Jean…superficially trying to get her to open up but never hanging around long enough to be of much help. Always handling her with kid gloves. And she tried not to blame him. Or Kitty – whose problems were probably worse than hers anyway. They had to be, because Wolverine spent so much time with her.

Her own problems never seemed to be as bad where her other teammates were concerned anyway. Kitty was dealing with a temporary loss of her powers and the death of Wisdom. Rogue was experimenting to find a way to finally control her powers. Storm was in the infirmary fighting to regain consciousness after nearly being killed. And Jean and Scott were having trouble in paradise. How could a rape possibly compare?

* * *

><p>"Chére?" Gambit voice cut through her thoughts. He was finished. Beast would have to take over from here. But Jubilee had to call the shots. "How ya feelin?"<p>

"Stiff." She managed.

He took her fingers in his bending each one. "How's dat feel?"

"Not much better since the last time ya did it."

"Fair 'nough. What 'bout dat?" He did the same thing to each leg and arm. The pain was sharp and her eyes darkened as she bit back a cry for the millionth time.

"Fine. Now what?"

Gambit caught her look and made a mental note. "Now we do one o' two things. Either me o' Beast gotta check for broken ribs and look at yer chest an' back. Beast is gonna have ta take over for de other stuff." Her face turned pale. Gambit unconsciously ran his hand over her knuckles until she pulled it back. "Remy said he won't tell an' he keep his word. Dis be your call."

"I think I can handle it from he-." She was cut off by a sharp pain which took her breath as she tried to sit back up by herself. Gambit eyed her skeptically.

"Okay! Okay! I'll go when Beast gets back."

"Looks like Gambit gon' have ta check yer ribs, else ya may not make it ta de medlab."

"I said I'm fine." Struggling to get her breath back, she fought against his hand which prevented her from sitting up. Gambit withdrew it and let her regain her bearings and her dignity.

Her face had gone from pale to ashen and she looked ready to pass out. It wasn't until she felt a sharp stab in abdomen that she knew something was definitely wrong.

One look at her face told Gambit all he needed to know. "Jubilee, ya gotta let Remy get ya there now, n'est pas? Jes tell him what ta tell Beast."

"Say whatever you want."

"And de others?"

She gave one last half-hearted snort. "Tell 'em I ran into a damned door."

Knowing she wouldn't last much longer, Gambit took matters into his own hands. "Jus' relax n' do what Gambit tells ya." A quick look at her face told him she had gone back into the same state she had been in before she had woken up. But as long as she was still breathing, he figured she was physically okay. Cursing the fact he had no idea when Beast would be back, he pulled the covers off, and felt under her robe for broken bones. Careful not to cause anymore damage, he scooped her up, balancing her carefully in his arms and carried her straight to the Medlab.

* * *

><p>French Translations<p>

Ne pluerez pas. Je suis ici. = Don't cry. I'm here.

D'accord = Agreed

Je suis desole ma petite. – I'm sorry my little one


	6. Stay With Me

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue. 

Song Suggestion:

Part One: Stay with Me – You Me At Six

Part Two: Smoke and Ashes – Tracy Chapman 

**Part One: Stay with Me**

Beast arrived back at the mansion a bit worse for wear but ready to get back to the lab. Storm had to be given a new round of medication and as always, he was eager to get back to his research. The mission was more or less routine – just another Sentinal attack. They were getting a plethora of them lately, but as to why, he could only speculate. Punching in the code, he waited for the doors to slide open before making his way into the room where the first thing he noticed was Gambit.

"To what do I owe this honor my card-carrying compatriot?"

"De petite. She be needin' help." He was cut off as Beast pushed past him to get a better glimpse of Jubilee who was resting one of the spare beds.

"Oh my stars and garters!" Beast automatically made his way to her side. He was already looking her over, casing out the damage, and determining what tests needed to be run. All this he did in a matter of seconds before he turned on Gambit with bared teeth. "Pardon my colloquialism…but what the hell happened?"

Not sure of exactly how much Beast needed to know, he supplied as little information as possible. "Gambit only know what he could get out of her. She got attacked by FOH thugs. Dey raped her too." Knowing Jubilee had in fact given him permission, he only added the last bit of information for her medical benefit.

"How did this happen? She was not permitted to leave the grounds. Or did she fail to mention that?" His voice was eerily steady.

"Look Henry, I didn' take her nowhere she wasn't supposed ta go. She went on her own. Mebbe ya need ta lighten de rules, non? She not be so keen ta sneak out if she have her freedom." _Dis not makin' moi look too good…_

"Perhaps you should wait to make your argument until after I've given our young friend a complete physical. Then we can discuss what to do about this predicament."

"D'accord."

"Now if you would be so kind as to wait outside…" 

Before leaving, Gambit went back over to the reassure the comatose girl. But was prevented from doing so as Logan ambled in and stopped dead in his tracks. He went from civil, to shocked and concerned, to angry as hell in ten seconds flat. When he spoke his voice was dangerously low. "Somebody better explain what's going on right now. Cajun?" There was an unmistakable sneer in his tone.

Gambit realized his scent must be all over the girl. Which had Wolverine all worked up. He decided to throw out her story before Beast could divulge anything unseemly. "She got attacked by Friends of Humanity. Dat's all we know." He threw a warning look at Beast who understood that he was to keep her silence as well, though he looked less than thrilled about it.

Wolverine looked like he wanted to pound somebody. "If I find out you had anythin to do with this…"

Gambit resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "She go out and come back on her own. Gambit had nothin' ta do wit nothin'. He found her at de mansion and brought her straight to de lab.

Logan placed himself by Jubilee in three quick strides. "Move it or lose it Cajun." The tone of his voice made Jubilee's eyes go lifeless.

"Don' know if dat be a good idea mon ami."

"These disagree." He extended his claws causing Jubilee to let out a yelp while making a grab for the nearest thing she could find. Gambit winced as her broken nails dug into his skin. Immediately Logan slid his claws back in and reached over to pry the girl's hand into his own. "S'alright darlin'. I didn' mean ta scare ya. Look. They're gone now. I won' pop em again."

"Promise?" She asked as she unhooked herself from Gambit's arm and used a phrase she hadn't used since she was thirteen. "Wolvie's honor?" He nodded, placing a hand on her head and looking visibly pleased that he had gotten her to calm down.

She threw a side glance at Gambit when she was sure he wasn't looking. Her eyes held an intense sadness that completely contradicted the way she was acting. His brow narrowed in confusion as he watched la femme's response. She had gone from fighter mode to acting like the child she swore up and down she wasn't. Either she was the world's best actress or he had a lot to learn about women.

"Chérie?" He tried to elicit some sort of a reaction. After spending a day and a half with her, he didn't want to just let go and leave her to the others. Wolverine, however, was looking more peeved by the second. Best to make an exit and come back at a more convenient time. "Guess I be back later den."

"No ya won't Cajun. I'm taking over from here." Wolverine thrust his thumb to his chest for emphasis.

Gambit's eyes flashed. There was nothing worse than a Wolverine marking his territory. Thankfully, Beast cut in before Gambit could respond with any kind of threat.

"As I have told Gambit, I need to attend to our resident firecracker without interruption. So if you would both be so kind as to wait outside – preferably a spot in which one of you will not be in close proximity of the other."

The heat in Logan 's glare could have melted metal. "I'll be right outside darlin." This was directed to Gambit, though it was meant for Jubilee.

Gambit forced his anger to dissipate. The halfway charged card in his pocket fizzled back to nothing. He wouldn't have backed down for any other reason than Jubilee's fragile state. No matter what anyone else thought, he wasn't completely heartless. And he _could_ control his temper. Unlike a certain feral Canadian.

"Quoi que ce soit. Je serai dans ma chambre." _Remerciez Dieu que Beast understood basic French._

Logan growled and edged him out of the lab before going back to Jubilee who lay trembling on the bed.

Once out of hearing range, Gambit let his thoughts overtake him. Muttering to himself the whole way down the hall. "Wolverine takin' over. Dat be a joke. I give him a week an' a half tops." From the disheartened sigh he heard as the doors closed, it appeared that Jubilee was thinking the exact same thing. 

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: Smoke and Ashes<strong>

Remy returned to his room, though he did not retreat within it. Rather he opened the window and vaulted himself on top of the overhang. Once settled on the roof, he lay back against the shingles and lit up his first cigarette in two days.

With nothing else to ponder, Remy's thoughts turned back to the night he'd found la petite. He replayed the events in his mind, trying to make some sense of it all. He had been the only one at the mansion. Never straying from the vicinity of Rogue's room. He just sat, watching her window from the rooftops. Waiting for her to come back home. He could have gone chasing after her like always. But he'd had too much on his mind. Too many unresolved emotions.

Rogue had always been a thief's dream. That prize jewel that took all his skill to obtain. Yet, for reasons unknown to both of them, they still kept hanging on to the idea that the dream had never died. He wished he could just talk with her about the way things had happened. He supposed he could let her deal with it on her own, but the self-sacrificing part of himself wouldn't let it rest. He'd made too many mistakes with the women he loved, and it had cost him everything – even their friendship.

He didn't want to repeat those mistakes again. So he'd waited. He'd been there for the better part of that night but he couldn't remember having seen anything out of the ordinary. He definitely wouldn't have missed Jubilee in the state she was in. But then again, he wasn't at his most observant. It wasn't until the Professor's voice had sounded across the mansion, signaling everyone to the War room, that he had realized it was nearing dawn. Awakened from his reverie, he had lingered for a few minutes figuring a late entrance would be in keeping with his style.

But just as he had pulled himself off the roof, he was interrupted by Scott's voice on his communicator, telling him to stay put. He didn't have to guess the reason as the device picked up the conversation purposefully. Apparently, what started out as a few jokes at his expense had escalated into a debate over his necessity for the mission. Surprisingly, the top contenders were Wolverine and Joseph. It didn't take long for him to guess where Rogue had been all night because Joseph was livid. In the background, he could hear Marrow egging things on while Wolverine stood his ground saying that it was stupid to leave anyone out when they obviously needed the manpower. And even though Scott agreed with Wolverine, he didn't want to add to the already tense atmosphere by throwing Gambit head-first in the mix. The last thing he needed were personal rivalries that prevented the team from getting the job done. Especially when there were lives at stake.

Not willing to deal with an argument he hadn't directly caused, Gambit did as he was instructed. For once. He'd laid there for the longest time. Sulking late into the afternoon. Trying to avoid having to step foot in the mansion and face the misery he felt everytime he walked its narrow hallways.

At some point, he had crept back into the window of the women's dormitory. Stopping at Rogue's door one last time, clinging to what he knew was a foolish dream. One where she magically appeared and they would somehow be able to forgive each other for what had been done. Then again, would forgiveness even matter at this point? Would he allow himself to receive it, in spite of everything he had done?

Innocence was something he could no longer feel…or even remember. He wondered if Jubilee could. The girl had been through a lot in her short life. But she never let on how it affected her. She mostly kept to herself these days.

He had only stopped at her door because of the loud crash. Besides, it was obvious the woman had been in some sort of pain. But it went deeper than that. He was genuinely concerned about her well being. They hadn't had much contact since she'd gone to Massachusetts, but that didn't stop him from remembering the small bond they'd formed before she'd left. Still, he had no idea how much trouble she was in until he found her sprawled out on the floor as if dead.

The only reason he'd even bothered to see what had happened was because she was never the type to ask for help. And he still felt somehow responsible for her. After all, they were living under the same roof again, and he was the only one there.

Knowing full well the kind of reception he get when knocked hadn't detered him in the slightest. There were a lot of things he didn't deserve from the other X-men – understanding, sympathy, compassion. He didn't expect her to be any different this time around. But after having to stay with her for hours, he was forced him to realize how much they both desperately needed that responsiveness – despite their attempts to live without it.

For the life of him, he couldn't understand why such things had been denied to Jubilee. So maybe she did have a tendency to be high maintenance. Okay, a lot high maintenance. But it still didn't justify how they she had been treated - overlooked and abandoned by the ones they loved.

_Mon Dieu, why dis sound so familiar?_

He took the burnt out cigarette he'd been smoking and crushed it into a space between the tiles. The ember flashed and died, leaving only smoke and ashes in its wake. He observed it with a wry twist of his lips.

Somewhere deep inside him, something moved; though what it was exactly, he couldn't say. Time had left him so jaded he didn't know what he was feeling anymore. All he knew was that for the first time, it felt as if something had sunken into place. As if he were finally getting clarity on his situation.

For Gambit, the X-Family was already split between those who sympathized with him and those who wished he was as dead as the Morlocks he had helped kill. He couldn't walk from the kitchen to his room without getting a callous glare or cold remark. It was hard enough protecting himself from his own guilt, but damn near impossible protecting himself from everyone else.

It only fueled his own self-hatred. He knew he deserved everything he got. _Just like I deserve to be left in Antartica, non?_

The day his heart stopped working was the day he felt the bitter cold biting through his skin. Some days he wished he had died out there. Then maybe, he would have the peace he was looking for. Away from all this inexhaustible drama.

Out of all the X-Men, Storm was the only one that he considered a friend. They used to stay up for hours talking and reminiscing about things that only a fellow thief could understand. In better days, the roof had been their meeting place. A place he was spending more and more time these days.

He missed their time together. Especially now that he had to visit her every day as she slipped in and out of consciousness in the medlab. Most of the time she couldn't comprehend what he was saying, but when she was able she would squeeze his hand every few minutes to let him know she was still listening. Having her fully awake was rare, but he usually managed to get in a few words before he was pushed out of the way by her other visitors.

The X-men flocked to Storm, not only because she was their leader, but because her condition brought them face to face with reality. The reality that they were no longer fighting for a dream, but for their very lives. It was a fear which they tried to alleviate by visiting, talking, and paying their respects to the greviously injured. Maybe one day they would realize that the casualties they suffered weren't just on the battlefield.

Gambit's fear, however, was that such a realization would come too late for the almighty tragic x-men. If they couldn't take the time to see how their youngest member was affected, they'd never see the deeper cracks forming in their ranks. Turning his thoughts away from that dead end street, he found himself focusing again on la blessé femme. Or what was left of her.

Her hands troubled him most of all. The damage hadn't just been done by cement. The skin had second degree burns even though she claimed not to have used her pyrotechnics.

He had learned at an early age that mutant powers responded heavily to emotion – the result being enhancement. It was more of a curse than a blessing. When he received his, it was weeks before he stopped involuntarily incinerating objects. Then it had taken a shitload of assassination attempts and promptings by New Sun before his powers had been pushed to their limits. And now that he knew what real power meant, he knew he never again wanted the responsibility.

In Jubilee, he saw his own powers smoldering and surfacing, being kept at bay only by an iron will. Just like him, the woman was turning into a walking time bomb. The ill-timed rape was merely icing on the cake. It had broken her will. Shattered her confidence in her abilities. Making it that much harder for her to train and hone the skills he knew she had.

Anyone could see it was taking everything she had to keep from falling apart. Maybe the X-Men were self involved, but they weren't stupid. Sooner or later, they'd realize something was wrong. And then the questions and mind scans would start and put wear and tear on her already fragile defenses. All that superficial poking and prodding would give her the excuse she needed to finish the job she had never wanted to start in the first place.

Then, and only then, she would have to start dealing with her powers on unprecedented levels. And she would have to do it in spite of the nightmares, the memories, and even her teammates who at one time she had called family.

He felt a familiar anger begin to bubble up in his chest. Was he really the only one who sensed what was happening? The only one who could stop her before she went off like the fourth of July? Surely the Professor already had an inkling of what had happened. But what about Jean? How had she gotten past the telepaths for so long? _Unless… _

This was crazy! Why was he contemplating putting everything on the line for a twenty five year old woman who knew how to get herself into a world of trouble without even trying? He ahould have been gone by now. Back to New Orleans with Jean Luc and the guild, leaving the X-men and all associated with them far behind. But there was something nagging at him. Shifting and changing with the tides of his conscience.

It seemed that they had both lost something important to them that night. If Jubilee had just lost the last of whatever innocence she had, how was she supposed to redeem herself against the world? And if he couldn't redeem himself in the eyes of the ones who was supposed to love him the most, how could he ever believe he was worthy of it? The truth brought only pain and each longed to let it go. Too much wasted energy was spent trying to make themselves believe in things that just weren't going to happen.

Jubilee's condition had, in a way, sealed his fate. If he was the only one Jubilee trusted enough to tell the truth to (and only then because he'd practically forced it out of her), then he supposed that made him an ally. He knew now that he couldn't just leave her to face what he had had to learn the hard way. He had spent too long trying to outrun the guilt and pain of what he'd been through. But his past was catching up with him and eating away at his future. He couldn't run anymore. He had to stay and fight.

For the longest time he pondered giving the responsibility of the girl's welfare to someone else. Pawning her off as she so eloquently put it. But that same something he'd felt moving around earlier was the thing that wouldn't let him run. Somewhere inside his ice blue veins was a heart that beat eternal. And somewhere in Petite, there was still that tiny spark that yearned to be happy again.

* * *

><p>French Translations<p>

Quoi que ce soit. Je serai dans ma chambre. – Whatever. I'll be in my room.

la blessé femme – the injured woman


	7. Running Up That Hill

Author's Note - My apologies to anyone who finds this story's formatting to be a bit distracting. This is my first time using this website, and I'm not very familiar with the HTML formatting codes. If anyone has any tips, that'd be great!

Disclaimer: I don't Own the X-Men. Marvel does. So please don't sue.

Song Suggestion: Placebo – Running Up That Hill

Jubilee curled herself into a loose ball on the furthest corner of the bed. She was restless and wanted nothing more than to crawl back up to the safety of her room and stay out of sight for the next few days. Wolverine had left ages ago. She tried to take comfort in the fact that he had spent over an hour with her. But she couldn't ignore how he'd spent half that time grilling her for information, and the rest of the time chewing her out when she supplied it. She'd spent so much energy trying to be the sassy teenager Logan expected. And she had found that in pretending she could almost forget the hurt and the pain as she remembered what it was like to be at her father figure's side, treated as his equal. But their conversation had brought reality crashing down around her. Her heart sank as she replayed his words over and over again in her mind.

_Logan scowled down at her, arms crossed as he towered over the bed. _"_Atleast tell me there were more than three."_

"_As if! Do I look crippled to you?" _

_He simply quirked an eyebrow, silently asking if she had looked in a mirror lately. _

"_Don't answer that." She covered quickly. "Look, I coulda handled them if there were only three."_

"_So how many lackeys do I have to waste?"_

"_Fifteen." She declared, hardly humble about it. _

"_Huh." He grunted as if from pride. "Who attacked first?"_

_After a few minutes of stalling with an instant recap of her side of the story, she reluctantly said two words she knew she would regret as soon as they came out of her mouth. "They did." _

_His reaction didn't dissapoint. "You let 'em get the upper hand? How many times I gotta tell ya? Attack first and then make an escape route before they all start moving in."_

"_I wanted to get a visual…" She started to explain._

"_By the time that happens, it's too late. You get the visual while you're movin'. Always stay in motion or they'll be all over ya before ya can do anythin' about it." She opened her mouth to retort, but he kept on. "And why'd ya wait so long to let loose on em? If ya caused serious injury to begin with, they wouldn't have had the chance ta return the favor."_

"_I didn't want to end up all over the evening news thank you very much."_

"_Chuck would have understood. You save your own hide first. Worry about sparin' ours later." _

"_Now ya tell me…" She mumbled._

"_It's called common sense." He scowled down at her, clearly annoyed. "Somethin' you seem ta be lackin' lately." _

"_You always know just what to say to make things better Wolvie." She stated sarcastically._

_Deciding against going head to head with her, he reluctantly backed off. "I hate seein ya like this kid. S'pose it's my fault though. Shoulda spent more time with ya in the danger room."_

"_It's not too late to fix that." She stated quietly._

"_You know it's not that simple darlin'."_

"_Why not?"_

"_We've been over this. Ya can't train until the Professor clears ya. And I don't got the time right now. What have Sean and Emma been teachin' ya up at that school anyway? Thought I'd trained ya better than to get roughed up by the Friends of flaming Humanity." _

"_I thought I could handle myself." She stated defensively. _

_His voice raised just barely. "Darlin', ya know your powers are actin' up. What in the hell made you think it was a good idea to go out lookin' for a fight?"_

"_You do it all the time…" She mumbled._

"_Well ya don't see me sneakin' out of the house in the middle of the night going to one of the worst parts of the city without a healing factor."_

"_My powers were actin just peachy. I just needed to get out and blow off some steam. It's not like I was out looking for something to happen!" Okay, so that wasn't entirely true… _

"_Sure ya weren't. Ya just expected someone to take ya by the hand and walk ya safely back ta your doorstep."_

"_I looked after your ass in Madripoor didn't I? A couple o' sleazeballs don't scare me."_

"_That's different. I was with ya. And it doesn't excuse what ya did. You could have at least waited for someone to go with ya."_

"_I felt like being alone. Besides, it not like you're ever around and everyone else has their head stuck so far up their ass they don't know what's going on outside of their own drama! You know I'm going crazy being caged up like some freaking lab rat!"_

"_I can't tell ya to follow the rules when I ain't exactly been the poster boy myself. But you're back in this house for a reason and the least you could do is try and let us help you. This stubborn streak of yours isn't doin' anybody any favors."_

"_You never had a problem with it before." She yelled, a little more loudly than she'd intended._

_He didn't take her bait. "Jubilee." He said, with as much patience as he could muster, "It's the same flamin' thing every time we talk! You're pushin' away the people who can help. The Professor and Jeannie are trying to work with ya but ya won't let 'em anywhere near your head. Emma and Sean have tried to do right by ya, but every time they give ya a chance, ya find a way to blow it. Honestly kid, sometimes I don't know why I bother. It's not like you'll listen to anyone anyways." _

"_But Wolvie…"_

"_No buts kid. You wanted a fight, and you got it. Now yer gonna have ta live with the consequences."_

He had sounded disappointed – as if she had let him down. Or maybe he was just afraid he had let her down. Somewhere along the way, though, she had stopped responding. And Wolverine, not understanding the reaction, had ordered Beast to get his furry blue hide back in there and take care of it. Before she knew what was happening, he had stalked out the doors to have a little "heart to heart" with the Professor while Beast took advantage of his absence to perform the exam.

* * *

><p>She was now alone, trying to hold still for Beast so he could run his damn tests. But after two days of being stuck in bed, she was beyond restless. And the pain made it difficult to cooperate. She absolutely abhorred medical exams. There was nothing worse than the cold metal of a lab table pressing against your skin. Leaving the kind of impression that left you cold, empty, and praying for the pain to stop.<p>

For a moment she was taken back to that isolated cell where Bastian had kept her trapped, running his own sick experiments. She'd lain for days on that operating table with no one to hear her screaming. Stuck with so many needles that it was impossible to keep track of what chemicals were flooding her system. He had made her a prisoner of her own mind – floating in and out of consciousness. Apparently hoping that keeping her drugged up and disoriented would break her silence. Like everything else, it hadn't worked.

Forcing herself to back to the present, she slammed her shields back into place. Momentary lapses like this were dangerous. There was simply no way to get herself back if she indulged those memories. At least not without alerting every psychic within a 30 mile radius.

Getting herself back on track, she focused on the furry blue doctor, sizing him up with a cautious eye. She tried to engage him in coversation, hoping to make the situation seem light. But he was having none of it. With a practiced hand, he purposefully ignored her. Furious that she had left without permission, he contained his reproach for her sake. But she knew once she got better, she'd never hear the end of it.

When Beast had finally finished feeding her pills, taking blood samples, stitching her up, and administering painkillers, he'd moved on to matters of a more delicate nature. Matters which the short tempered Asian made considerably more difficult. She flat out refused to let Beast anywhere near her legs with his instruments. Forcing him instead to do internal scans with Shiar Technology. Honestly, he didn't mind the extra work. The female exams were more Moira's division, so honestly, it made them both feel more comfortable with what had to be done.

After it was all over, he left the girl shaking on the bed, covered in a paper thin blanket. She watched him walk away without so much as acknowledging that she was slowly slipping away again.

* * *

><p>The exam results were taking presidence over everything else for the good doctor. Not because his bedside manner was lacking. It was merely that he needed to make some quick decisions where Jubilee was concerned. He had noticed that she was clearly not herself at the moment. But he felt it would be better to call someone else to calm her down while he tried to determine what procedures would be necessary.<p>

Remy wasn't his first choice. Certainly Jubilee was in over her head enough without adding the ramifications that would come from cavorting with him. But it was he who had found her and had asked to be informed of her condition. And Jubilee had expressly instructed him to tell only Gambit about her injuries. He had inquired as to why, but was only met with a clipped answer.

Truthfully, he was impressed at the care she had received at his hands. His first aid skills were nothing to laugh at. It made Beast wonder how much practice he had gained patching his own wounds. Perhaps it would behoove him to keep in closer contact with his troubled teammate.

With his mind set firmly in place, he reached to his communicator and set it to Gambit's frequency. Within minutes, the doors of his lab slid open and a pair of concerned red on black eyes followed his every movement. Perhaps it was his imagination, but the edges of Remy's already unusual eyes were a brilliant shade of red. Probably from lack of sleep. He'd have facilitate a conversation about that at a more opportune time.

"Henry?" Remy's voice echoed in the empty lab.

"Ah Remy. I was hoping we could continue our discussion."

"Gambit was afraid of dat."

"I am still rather curious to know how Jubilation got home last night."

The Cajun sighed, repeating his story for the umpteenth time. "She didn' tell me. Remy found 'er in her room. Sounded like she in pain so I stopped."

"You must pardon my behavior, but I am beside myself as to what to think. How did she get back in this condition without alerting any of us? Particularly when Warren was on security patrol."

Remy snorted. Warren never stayed on post. Mojo could set up one of his universes in the back woods of the mansion, and the only way Angel would ever notice was if he was brooding in mid-flight over Betsy. "Beast, how many times we been attacked and Warren been off on a smoke break? Jubilee get past him easy – even looking like dat. She not need Remy's help."

Beast sighed, running a hand over Jubilee's medical charts. True Warren was not the most reliable. But it bothered him to think that she could have slipped through the cracks so easily. He sighed heavily. "I understand."

"Not dat Remy's word means much 'round here, mais I be tellin' de truth."

"Innocent until proven guilty my friend. I operate under the assumption that you are indeed being sincere." The heavy hearted resignation of Beast's tone told Gambit that he, of all people, was not the enemy. He knew as much as anyone the problems that the X-family faced. Perhaps he was not as isolated in his lab as everyone assumed.

"Merci Henry."

"De rien."

"Alors, quel est le verdict?"

"Do you really wish to know?"

Gambit hesitated only for a moment before uttering "Oui."

"I must insist that the Professor must be informed as well. But Jubilee has given me permission to tell only you. And since she has reached the age of consent, there is only so much I can do. I took it upon myself to inquire as to why she chose such a thing, but she has replied rather cryptically, saying that it was only fair."

"It gotta be her call ta tell Xavier. De Professor probably has an idea already anyway."

"Regardless, he must be made aware. If you would just talk with her. You, of all people, can be very persuasive when you wish to be. If you get my drift…"

Gambit flinched inwardly. He wasn't about to use his powers over women for that. "Gambit _talk _to her. But he not makin' any promises."

"The least we can do is make the attempt."

Gambit didn't know how to interpret that. Maybe Beast would pull rank on them both and break her already frayed sense of trust. Charles would find out soon enough. But from who? He had to act quickly if he wanted to stay in the loop. "How bad she be?"

"There has been extensive damage to her female organs. She lost quite a bit of blood due to internal hemmoraging which showed up in the scans. She may require surgery if the bleeding does not correct itself. There is also severe external swelling and bruising. She'll need to be on antibiotics and pain medication for quite some time. Her lacerations have received stiches and should heal given a month or two." He paused for a moment before adding "And not that it should matter, but any type of intercourse is out of the question for the next 6 months."

Remy didn't care much for his tone. "I don' t'ink dat be any o' my business." He mumbled.

"Very well then, you might also wish to know that thanks to your commendable first aid skills, her injuries should heal without the risk of severe infection. However, she has also suffered major sprains in her legs and minor sprains in her arms from moving around so much prior to treatment. She'll have to use crutches and physical therapy to regain proper usage."

"An' her powers?"

"That is a topic that you will have to discuss with Xavier."

Gambit looked him straight in the eye. "Does she know?"

Beast regarded him appraisingly, stunned at his perceptiveness. "I shall inform her momentarily. But first I was hoping you might be able to do something to help calm her down. I fear Logan's visit may have done more harm than good."

* * *

><p>The Acadian found her trying to flatten herself against the wall that the bed was adjacent to. She was still clad in her robe and shaking like a cornered animal. Not wanting to get a fist full of fireworks, he maintained his distance and kept his movements slow and measured. As soon as she caught sight of him, she grabbed a fistful of blanket to try and cover up.<p>

He held out his trench coat as something of a peace offering. "Here cherie. Take dis."

After everything that had happened, he wasn't very hopeful about her response. Still, she let him get close enough to place it over her shoulders before she let out a small hiss. He promptly backed away to give her back her space.

"Beast'll be in soon, so Gambit leave if ya want. But dere's something ya need ta know. Ya pro'bly be wantin Logan right about now, and ya be thinkin' ya don' want ta drag moi into dis. Mais Gambit want ya ta know, he be dere if ya need him. Mebbe Wolverine won' pull another o' his stunts and leave again, and Remy hope, fer your sake he don't. But if ya need me, ya know where to find me." He turned around to leave. "Keep de coat, chére." He was halfway across the room when a choked sob made him stop.

Cursing herself, Jubilee tried to stop the words already tumbling out of her mouth. "I know this is all my fault for doing something so stupid in the first place. But I don't want your pity. I never meant for you to get involved." Her voice was raspy and barely audible.

Making sure he had heard correctly, he turned on his heel and took a determined step forward. "Let's set one t'ing straight. Absolutely none o' dis is yer fault. Ya hear Gambit? Not one t'ing."

She gave a sharp laugh. "Tell that to Wolverine."

"Wolverine have his own problems." He said, cutting her off immediately. His tone was much harsher than he would have liked. Putting up a smoother front, he continued. "Remy can't promise dat t'ings are gonna get better. But he meant what he said."

"It's good that you don't make promises you can't keep." Teardrops fell on her pillow as she was forced to relive old memories. She couldn't afford to get her hopes up again. "Just leave. You'll only end up like everyone else."

"Guess dat be a chance you gone have to take."

"It's a chance I'm not _going_ to take."

Gambit ignored the iciness in her tone. How many times had he done the same thing? Pushed people away so he couldn't get hurt. He couldn't say he blamed her. But he wasn't going to go easy either.

"Why's dat chére?"

"You shouldn't have to ask."

"Appears Gambit be missin' somet'ing."

"Don't you know anything that's happened with me?"

"What dere be ta know about?"

"Save the questions Gumbo."

"Dat be a shame cause Gambit got plenty of dem. Not like anyone tell him anyt'ing anyway."

"You get used to it."

"Being ignored does have its advantages." He muttered to himself. "But everyone so tightlipped 'round here, it beginning to get aggravating."

"We might as well just hang out a sign that says 'don't ask, don't tell'." She grumbled as he moved to perch on the edge of her bed.

"Gambit may have ways of gettin' information. But he rather hear it from de source."

"I've been going through shit for the past two years and you're just now showing an interest? Where were you when this mess all started?"

"Maybe Gambit interested in what goes on when he ain't around."

"Oh." She recoiled slightly from the veiled correction.

"Listen petite, I been t' hell an' back aussi. Dere ain' nothing worse than dat. Not even you." He nudged her with his shoulder. "So what been goin' on dat Gambit need ta know?"

She looked up through hooded eyes. "You really are starved for punishment."

A dark look crossed his features, masked only by his expert skills. "You not de first person ta say dat."

"I'm only filling you in because you're so clueless. Don't expect a repeat performance."

"D'accord."

Jubilee took a deep breath and tried to get through the glossed over version of what had happened as quickly as she could. "When you were still going through….everything…I escaped Bastian. Found my way back to Emma and Sean just in time for my senior year. After I got back, my powers started acting up. Even moreso than usual. Nobody could handle me, so they sent me off to different teams. After I nearly blew up a small island, and got hit with the backlash on a mission with X-Force, Emma sent me back here."

Gambit was well aware he might as well have been listening to a rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow from a trained vocalist who had rehearsed it a thousand times before. But he feigned a small amount of surprise anyway. "A small island, non? Impressionnant. Why you not training now?"

Nobody will let me anywhere near the danger room without supervision." She reluctantly confessed. "My body temp keeps going up and I have to get checked out three times a day to make sure I don't spontaneously combust."

_Now they were getting somewhere. _"What's be happenin' with yer powers?"

"Don't know. The Prof and Beast won't say a word. Wolverine knows, but he won't talk about it. Just says they're actin' up is all. When I got in his face about it, we got in the mother of all arguments. Said he needed a breather from everything. Acting more like he needed a sidekick, not dead weight. So now I just give him what he wants. He does his parenting duties. And I get to see him every once and awhile so long as I stay out of his way the rest of the time. I'm sick of asking him to stay and he treats me like I have cancer." She trailed off, unsure of how much she had just incriminated herself.

Gambit started to say something, but she had already clammed up. Her head sank back down as if it were a bowling ball, too heavy for her body to hold up. He caught her just in time to lay her head back on the pillow. Her entire body tensed and then slowly began to relax as he ran a gloved hand through her damp hair. It seemed to resonate with her as she responded rather weakly. "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to do it alone."

In a rare display lacking of third person, Gambit answered her back as best he could. "I know chérie…I know."

They stayed like that for awhile, neither knowing exactly what to do. Finally Jubilee broke the silence. "I don't know why everyone around here hates you so much." The words surprised her as much as him. "We've all got our own skeletons to deal with."

"Chérie…" He began, trying to provide her with an appropriate sentiment that would distance her from his own mess.

"Save it Gumbo. You're the only one around here who even bothers anymore."

"Ahem." They both looked up into the amused eyes of the speaker.

"Cept you Beast." She amended as he walked into the curtain enclosure.

"I am moved by your predilection Jubilee. However I must inform you that Logan is on his way back with some food and clothing. Needless to say, he may not find your position as heartfelt as I. I am sorry Gambit, but I must insist that you leave now. I'll try my best to explain away your scent. Though it might make it easier should you take your coat with you."

Grudgingly, Jubilee allowed herself to be pulled into a sitting position. Gambit pressed his lips softly against her hair before sliding effortlessly off the bed. With help, she unwrapped herself from the coat and enveloped herself as best she could in the thin blankets.

"What about the exam?" She asked.

"I will give you the full results after Logan has departed. I fear there is not enough time to divulge anything before he arrives."

Beast's tone told him Gambit everything he needed to know. He knew that Beast was going to take an awful lot on himself to keep her secret. Then again, he wanted to help Jubilee just as much as anyone. Both men were fully aware now that even if they did ask Xavier for help, it would have to be willingly accepted from the woman who wanted nothing to do with it.

* * *

><p>French Translations<p>

Mais - But

Merci - Thank you

De Rien - you're welcome

Alors, quel est le verdict? - So what's the verdict?

Aussi - too

D'accord - Agreed


	8. Wonderwall

Disclaimer – I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.

Song Suggestion: Ryan Adams - Wonderwall

**Bold indicates Telepathic Thought**

The sedatives and painkillers Beast had given her were starting to take effect, blessing Jubilee with the inability to think or even dream. In two days, she would be back in her room, dealing with the fallout from her failed excursion. But in the meantime, the girl needed rest. Even if it had to be forced on her. Beast had sectioned off an area of his lab, claiming that the bed she was on housed the equipment for one of his more volatile experiments. At the mere mention of experiment or (heaven forbid) research, the other X-men scattered to the wind, suddenly having better things to do than listen to him prattle on about things they didn't have the strength left to comprehend.

The curtains were drawn around the bed frame to keep prying eyes away. However, he needn't have worried about Jubilee being disturbed. Hardly anyone came to his private lab, opting instead to stay in the sick bay area where patients were housed and treated. Everyone perhaps, except for Bobby. But even he knew better than to touch anything.

Atleast when she was sleeping, the woman was as silent as the grave she had nearly been put into. There was no danger of her crying out and alerting anyone that didn't need to know about her condition. He didn't want to cause her anymore pain by allowing her to be scrutinized while she healed. Beast may have been a doctor by profession, but he was still human. A human who was beside himself everytime he looked at his beloved adopted daughter laying there with the life sucked out of her. He had taken great care in patching up those bumps and bruises and cuts. For him, it only reminded him of the days when she had preferred rollerblading around the mansion.

So why was she being stubborn and refusing his help? She wouldn't have come to him had Gambit not brought her in. He was sure of it! He would have found the next day bleeding to death in her room. What could possibly have been done to her, other than the obvious that would make her retreat into herself like that?He thought back to when she had first arrived and he had been asked to treat her. Emma had not been forthcoming with details. And only Charles and Jean seemed to be aware that there was anything out of the ordinary. She was, for all intensive purposes, her magically spunky self. But there was always that creeping suspicion that things were not as they appeared.

And then, he had presented her with that first needle. She had, to use her own words, flipped out. It was only after several months of treatment, when he started to notice her plasma levels and vital signs spike dangerously, that he had been filled in on her condition. Then, and only then had Emma saw fit to share that she had been experimented on during her capture. A fact that Jubilee had never told anyone. It had been caught as a psychic remnant that had slipped out of her mind as she awoke from yet another nightmare. A remnant that Emma would have missed had Jubilee not screamed and mumbled in her sleep that night.

Jubilee had always been a fairly sound sleeper. Therefore, such sleeping fits were a rare occasion indeed. One that Jean thought needed to be monitored. Yet he didn't have the heart to hook her up to yet another machine and invade the few hours of peace she got each night that she was unconscious. He'd never say it, but he knew that between Bastian and the efforts of the other X-men (himself included) it was impossible for her to have any when she was awake.

Just as he was finishing a check on Jubilee's vital signs, a telepathic pull tugged on his highly adept senses. He knew it as well as he knew all of the elements of the periodic table. Perhaps a little too well.

**Beast. You are needed in my office. Rest assured, there is no need to fear for those under your care. Cecilia will watch over your patients while you are away. She is under strict instruction to let no one into the medlab without your express permission.**

Beast was momentarily relieved. He knew that this meant Jubilee would be safe. Cecilia was even more protective of his patients than he was. Whether she was informed about Jubilee's condition or not, she wouldn't let anyone within a foot of her.

A heavy sigh passed through his chest. He was medically obligated to tell Cecilia all the unseemly details he had promised to keep to himself. Although, he knew he could trust Cecilia with his very life, she was not Jubilee's doctor. That was his sole responsibility. And, he would only be gone a few minutes, possibly more. Besides, the longer he could prevent word from getting out, the better off his patient was. She had had quite enough excitement for the time being.

When the inevitable knock sounded on the locked door, he reluctantly rose to answer it. Shuffling along, he took his sweet time in an attempt to give himself a few minutes to prepare what he would say. He turned the handle to find Cecilia standing before him, ever composed and thoughtful. "Xavier sent me down here. I was supposed to be with my own patients this week, however I was called in last night for an undisclosed reason. Is there something I should know?"

"I cannot lie Cecilia." He was on the verge of telling her everything, though he caught himself with a start. Obviously Charles had felt something amiss if he had called in a female doctor as backup. It only clarified what he was being summoned for. It would be wise to wait until he spoke with Charles himself before drawing Cecilia into this…situation. "I also cannot divulge the specifics of that request. Please understand. What I can do is show you my patients and trust you to proceed with their care until I return."

Cecilia eyed him warily. "Just so long as your big secret doesn't interfere with the health of my wards."

Beast held his tongue. Jubilee's health would not be compromised within the next hour. His, however was another story. When Cecilia found out what he was witholding, he'd be picking his beloved twinkie supply out of his fur for weeks. He had to be sneaky. "This way, my dear." Beast motioned her forward as he pulled back the curtain to show where Jubilee was resting.

The female doctor sucked in her breath as she took it all in. Her reasoning mind calculating not only the injuries, but how they had been treated, and what might have caused them. She began asking pertinent medical questions, having the sense not to ask what had actually happened.

Beast confirmed her questions with as much information as she needed to know. "She's resting now on an injection of .07 miligrams of Midazolam. I administered it a half hour ago, so the effects will last for a few hours. Fentanyl has also been administered transdermally to relieve her pain. She is due for another dosage in an hour, but I trust I will return before then. She won't be waking up for quite some time. Yet it is most important that you monitor the vital signs on this particular patient. Call me immediately if there are any changes in the readings.

Cecilia was clearly displeased she had been taken away from her own clients for this menial labor, however she obliged without complaint. "Understood. What about Storm?"

"She has been administered similar medication, but is doing quite well. The specifics are on her chart. In the meantime, she too needs rest and monitoring. There is, I'm afraid, nothing else to be done at the moment."

"I assume there is a good reason that the patients are kept separate from one another?"

"Jubilee's situation is one that requires me to be discreet about her treatment. If only for the protection of her privacy. She is so young, and the others would only make matters more complicated if they were to know about her condition."

"You're saying they would interfere with her ability to heal from her injuries?"

"In so many words, yes. Thus, if you would be so kind as to see that no one enters the medlab in my absence. There is, however, one exception to that. Remy Lebeau seems to have a calming effect on both patients. His presence is, dare I say, welcome.

Cecelia opened her mouth to protest, but stole one look at Beast's face and promptly closed it.

"Both of our patients are dealing with some very serious issues. Gambit may be able to offer what we cannot: mere comfort. We may be healers, but we speak only to the physical body, not to the soul."

"Surely you can't be so blind as to believe that Gambit can offer anything more to these women than their own doctors! Especially after all that's happened since his return?"

A quotation came to mind and rattled off Beast's polished tongue like silver. "Yet it is difficult for a specialist to see beyond his own field, and easy for them to believe that their own specialized services are required. Joseph A. Jerger." He gazed fondly at the woman before him. "Do not think so harshly of him, or of yourself. Simply allow him to do his work. I assure you, it will not interfere with yours."

And with that, he bounded out of the lab, giving a small wink to Cecilia before departing to Xavier's study.

* * *

><p>Beast didn't need Cerebro to know that emotions in Xavier's private office were running high. Much to the his relief, psychic dampeners softened the blow of various tempers, most of which were radiating from one focal point. Wolverine, for his part, looked ready to give Xavier's office a makeover courtesy of his noted the look of exhaustion on Xavier's face. Of the four people who knew what had happened, Wolverine was the only one still being fed half truths. Perhaps on some level he may even have suspected. However, he had enough to be angry about without throwing<em> that<em> into the mix.

"Beast, thank you for coming. We have a situation that is most urgent. I was hoping you would provide us with your medical opinion so we can all decide on the best course of action to take."

"Of course Professor. Does this concern one of my patients?" He asked this just to be on the safe side. After all, he'd been known to be wrong on occasion. A very rare occasion, but nonetheless...

"I think we are all aware of an ill that has befallen our youngest member. Wolverine is very concerned for her safety and is eager to know how the situation will be handled. Could you perhaps give your account of what exactly happened and what injuries we are currently facing?"

"Certainly. Last night at around 8 p.m., I arrived back at the medlab after our recent mission. Whilst entering, I encountered Gambit who told me he had come in from the roof only to hear an odd noise resounding from Jubilee's room. He stopped to investigate and found her in a most serious condition. From what our colleague could gather, she had been attacked by a group who were presumed to belong to The Friends of Humanity. After learning nothing more, he brought her straight to the medlab and administered first aid until I arrived.

"Gambit found the child?" Xavier noted with surprise.

Beast paused before nodding, casting a concerned eye on Logan.

"We will need to speak with him, but let us deal with the matter at hand before we seek to include him in this discussion." The professor too was keeping a mental vigil. "Please proceed."

"Very well. I performed several tests including multiple scans, but from what I could deduce, there are no broken bones. There is, however, massive swelling and bruising of the limbs and torso. There were several cuts and multiple abraisions, including one on her forehead which was rather serious and required stitches. Needless to say, she is in a lot of pain. Regardless, it is my professional opinion that she received no outside help in getting home, evidenced by the multiple sprains in her limbs. Sprains which could only occur from vigorous movement. Her characteristic stubbornness and the adrenaline formed in her distress somehow allowed her to travel a great distance. Though, as a result, she will be forced to endure physical therapy to regain proper usage of her limbs as they cannot function for extended periods of time.

"Can she even walk right now, Hank?" Wolverine's voice cut through his lengthy explanation.

"Yes. But only for so long. There is no telling when her body will give out on her. She'll have to become proficient with the aid of crutches for the time being."

"Let me break the news to her. She wanted to start trainin' again, but we all know it's gonna have ta wait."

"I shall be more than happy to let you share in my burden. However, speaking of training, there is another concern as well."

"Don't tell me it's her flamin' powers again."

"Actually," Beast cut in "There is evidence that her powers may be growing stronger than she is capable of dealing with. I noticed severe burns around her wrists even though she claims that she did not use them last night. Let us hope she is telling the truth for she may have caused more damage than she knew."

"What are you sayin' Hank? Kid said she didn't use her fireworks and you're tellin' me she's a liar?"

"I am not implying anything of that nature. Merely that under extreme stress, her powers reacted. She may not have even been able to use them if they were in the process of evolving!"

"Flamin' hell. Kid's going alpha class on me."

"Precisely."

At this point, the Professor interjected. "As remarkable as that is, we know that she is currently classified as a Delta, and that is all we need to know at this time. We do not know what level she is capable of becoming, although the evidence points to the a certain process of evolution. That will be a concern for after she has properly healed. We will decide what course of action to take at that time. Is there anything else of concern?" The professor asked, looking directly at Beast.

It was as if he were testing Beast's personal ethics. It took constant reminders of the Hippocratic Oath, patient confidentiality laws, and the realization that Jubilee was no longer a minor to keep certain information from coming out of his mouth. "Not at the moment Professor."

But somehow, he knew the Professor was more astute than he appeared as he listened to Logan vent his frustration on Jubilee's behalf. Charles knew the gravity of the situation. Had seen it in Beast's mind, attitude, and posture just as he had seen that Logan was going to be of little help. But neither could speak of what was to be done about it until after Logan left the room.

So both man and beast focused their attention on the feral Canadian's rant. "What are ya gonna do Chuck? Ship her off somewhere again? I can't watch the kid around the clock! And I ain't gonna let her get dependent on me. Kid's too good for that. She's gotta learn to get stronger on her own. Defend herself without dependin' on other people to pull her butt out of the fire. I say let's get her back on her feet and then let her train with Ol' One Eye. Can't believe I'm gonna say this, but the kid needs to learn to take orders."

"I agree Logan, but first we have to focus on getting her to that point. You have expressed your concerns about Jubilee's training, and I will do my best to ensure that it will be handled by someone capable of dealing with the full extent of her powers and attitude."

Wolverine looked satisfied, but that could change at any given point. "Thanks Chuck. I owe ya."

"In the meantime, she will remain under Beast's care until I can contact Moira and see if there is a place for her at Muir Island."

"Kid ain't gonna like that, but it ain't like we've got a choice."

"I will speak with her about it after she is stabilized. Perhaps it would be good for her to heal elsewhere. Away from the stress of the mansion." Xavier stated.

Beast knew Xavier would take it upon himself to gauge Jubilee's reaction. If she didn't want to go, Beast was sure he wouldn't force her. Though he would have more than one ace up his sleeve if she refused.

* * *

><p>Once Logan had been assured that his daughter was going to be taken care of, he retreated. It was only after the doors had shut and Logan's footsteps faded down the hallway that the Professor turned to Beast. "I sensed something more happened with Jubilee than you were willing to discuss in front of Logan."<p>

"Yes Professor. But I cannot divulge that information due to patient confidentiality. She is, after all, no longer a minor. However, if you happened to sense what had happened, then it would not be I who has informed you."

His old friend raised an amused eyebrow. "Surely you have already guessed that my telepathic perception is greater than that of the others. Jubilee's distress is easy to miss on the astral plane because it is masked, yet to one who is quite familiar with the pain of all my X-Men, it is not so easy to ignore."

"Once again, your abilities astound me."

"Just tell me… Is she…? I sensed a faint presence…

"It's too soon to tell. Gambit relayed that there was cramping and a lot of bleeding which he had to clear away before I arrived home. So I believe that it's highly unlikely. However, even if she were with child, I believe that she would most certainly miscarry."

I would not betray her confidence for anything in the world. But something must be done. I would like to speak with Gambit."

"I fear you may be wasting your time. He seems to be more concerned for the girl's welfare than Logan. But I do not know the extent to which he will comply with our attempts to help her."

"Considering what he has already done, I'd say there is a good chance he will hear what I have to say."

Judging from the thoughtful look on his oldest friend's face, Beast himself grew curious. "What do you have in mind Charles?"

"Our resident thief is not one to be lied to. I sense that Jubilee told him of her condition of her own accord. Perhaps his empathic abilities can cut through many places where a telepath dare not tread."

"Are you suggesting that Gambit can succeed where the rest of us have failed?"

"I do not know. Jubilee's powers are growing. Of that there is no doubt. And her emotional state has grown very dark indeed. Perhaps…" He trailed off, deep in thought.

"Professor?" Beast spoke out of grave concern at the Professor's sudden lapse of silence.

"My apologies Henry. I need some time to think. To plan."

At this Beast relented. "Of course. I shall come back later."

"Thank you, my friend. Thank you for all you have done to keep Jubilee safe. I bear a certain responsibility for her well being and if we were to lose her to the inner turmoil that I have sensed within her, I do not know if I could bear to watch. I fear her stubbornness has served its purpose in the past, but is turning into a wall we cannot breach. We must, if at all possible, try to find ways around it."

"I agree wholeheartedly." Beast whispered softly before walking out the door and back to his patients.


	9. One Step Closer

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.

Author's Note: This is a short chapter. I've been working on the next few chapters, so hopefully they will be worth the wait (although they won't be out for a couple of weeks).

Song Suggestion: One Step Closer – Linkin Park

Jubilee was caught in the images of her own mind. Lost somewhere on the astral plane, she stumbled forward with no idea where she was headed. Although she had a pretty good idea of what she was running from. Behind her, a small explosion caused the ground to shake violently. Refusing to be knocked off her feet, she took a running leap to stable ground and kept increasing speed. Her sides burned, but fear and hate kept her going. Behind her she heard Bastian's sneer as his base erupted in a fiery mushroom cloud.

Her legs pumped across the vibrating ground as his voice resonated around her head like a thousand buzzing flies. She could practically feel it surrounding her, choking off conscious thought. "Keep running little girl. You have nowhere to go." Ignoring him, she pushed on, desperate to find shelter.

As her vision cleared from all the smoke and debris, she noticed something on the horizon. To her great relief, there was a tree line up ahead. True, it was strikingly out of place in the terrain, but far be it from her to question this particular stroke of luck.

Taking a deep breath, she plunged forward. Blocking out Bastian's voice as it rang unforgivingly in her ears. "Do you really think that I am as weak you are? Surely you didn't think that little display could destroy me?"

_That was too much to hope for. _ If she could just make it into the forest – which was rather dense from what she could tell – she knew she would be harder to track. She just had to provide a distraction to gain some ground. "Fuck off you miserable piece of shit!" She countered as she twisted to throw a powerful blast behind her.

There was a bright flash, but Jubilee didn't stop even for a second. Not even to watch her plasma display bounce off his armor and explode in his face. It didn't take her long to realize he wasn't phased. His voice grew ever closer, seeming to come from everywhere at once. "How disappointing. I was hoping you'd have more fight left than that. Have you expended your energy already?" He laughed quietly, taunting her further. "It must be so disheartening for one so young, fighting on your own without any help from the friends you have sacrificed yourself to help. You seem to think they would actually concern themselves with a piece of filth like you. It's time to face facts. They have more important battles to fight. Have you not realized that your very life is expendable for the sake of all that is good?"

"The X-men don't abandon their own!"All she had to do was hold out until they could get to her. Emma had to know where she was by now. And she would have communicated with the Professor. They wouldn't just leave her behind unless there was a really good reason.

Though the harder she had to fight, the more she realized it had better be a fricking good one. She had helped them escape days ago. She had sacrificed herself for their sake and had accepted that she might never make it out of that base alive. But couldn't they atleast track her down with Cerebro or something? Sure there were other battles going on, but they were all fighting the same bad guy right? You'd think they'd find her by default!

"Why would they bother coming back for the one who has betrayed them? It is far better for them to leave you to your fate."

"My fate has nothing to do with you!" She spat as she flew as far from him as she could get and set off another round of fireworks.

He dodged her attempts easily. "So young…so naïve." He could tell she was trying a little too hard to hide the fact that each word was like a nine inch blade being driven deep into her gut. "You have no place with the X-men. Yes, I've seen how highly they think of you. Treating you like a child and then leaving you behind at the first opportunity. You honestly think it was a mistake that I was able to capture you so easily and access your mind? They've barely trained you to defend yourself!" He laughed in a cold, metallic chortle that pierced her soul. "You were made for me to manipulate. There is no other use for you in this world. Know that your place is with me. It is I who will be the last thing you see as you draw your final breath."

Jubilee's eyes rolled heavenward as she spun around, right at the edge of the forest. If only she'd had gum, she would have smacked it right in his face. "Oh that's original! The big bad evil supervillian's gonna kill me. Help. Someone. Please." Her tone was drenched with sarcasm as she walked backwards into the treeline and promptly disappeared. Just like Wolvie had taught her.

She moved among the large tree trunks, keeping low to the ground. Bastian had stopped in his tracks, scanning for signs of movement, but making no effort to follow. By the time he caught up with her, she would be long gone. Or so she thought…

Dodging just in time to avoid being hit in the face with a snake-like piece of metal, she took off running as five more came up from behind her. To her aggravation, she was too slow and they wound tightly around her hands and feet. The last one coiling its way around her neck like a python, choking the life out of her. Her face hit the dirt before she could wrap her hands around it. When she lifted her head again, there were tears streaking down the sides of her face as she struggled to breathe. Just as she staggered to her feet, they were yanked out from under her and she flew backwards straight to where Bastian stood.

As soon as she got within sight of him, the metal loosened around her throat. She hurled a puddle of spit that landed in his face before throwing insult after insult. If she could only get him mad enough to beat the shit out of her, she could prove to herself that every word out of his mouth was a lie. Her brain knew better than to believe him, but in her heart she couldn't help but question her loyalties. She'd give anything to make him eat his own spew for putting her through that.

However, Bastian wasn't growing angry as he normally did at her impertinance. As she fixed her defiant gaze on those soulless depths, she could have sworn she saw a flash of pity before it turned to pure disgust.

"Where is your savior now? Your precious Wolverine? True, he is not dead…yet. But whatever relationship you've had with him is not enough to withstand what I have in store. I've seen inside his mind whereas you cannot hope to. Ever since your pathetic little crush, you've managed to drive him away. Perhaps it was cute when you were thirteen, but now? Chasing him around like a wounded animal? It's just downright sickening. You may be older but your age now is of little consequence. He used to see you as his own daughter. But now that you've lost your wits and training, you're nothing but a liability. Surely you don't believe he feels anything more than a sense of duty?"

The pressure at her neck forced her to her knees. The physical pain she could withstand. But, try as she might, she could not stop Bastian's words from tearing at her heart. She remembered her younger years, when she and Wolverine were a force to be reckoned with. Did he really think that she only followed him around because of some schoolgirl crush? After all, what was it Wolvie said? About how she needed to grow up? Saying that Kitty was more mature and he could talk to her without worrying about how she would take things? Is that why he always kept going back to her? Did she really have to acknowledge that Wolverine accepted Kitty as someone close to his own heart while she got pushed further and further into the background? Did Logan understand her at all or did he just feel sorry for her? Or was Bastian was just expanding on the fear that was already in her head.

"Do you honestly think he has any feeling left for you? After you've tested his sympathy and pushed his patience to its very limit?"

Wolverine's words echoed through her mind. _"Honestly kid, I don't know why I bother. It's not like you'll listen to anyone anyways." _

"You really are a fool." The soft taunting voice tore into her. He was standing right in front of her now, gloating. "Come now. What's all this fighting going to prove? After all, what have I done but state the truth?"

"Shut. Up." The words were a calm before the storm.

Bastian paid no heed. "Perhaps sparing the X-men has worked to my advantage. All the better to watch the bitter realization on your face as you find that in your last moments your friends, even your so-called father, have turned their backs on you."

"I SAID SHUT IT!" Plasma shot from her hands knocking the entity backward several yards. There was a sickening crack as his head impacted with a solid wall that appeared out of nowhere. His metal skull burst open, exposing a complicated network of sparking microchips, and frayed wiring housed in the fragile tissues of a human brain. There was no time to be disgusted as she felt herself pulled forward, her head aimed to hit the same solid structure with brute force.

Her world became black until a sharp crack across the face brought her back to reality. For an instant, she thought she was back in the safety of her room. Staring into a blurry face with the strangest eyes.

She was lucid enough now to know that she wanted out of this nightmare, however, when she twisted her head around and saw figures materializing out of the shadows, she knew she was having no such luck. On instinct she tried moving into a fighting stance only to find her arms and hands were bound. There was a gag in her mouth and a terrible weight on her legs. With a sudden jolt, she found herself yanked up by the roots of her hair only to see that she was completely naked and there were a bunch of guys crawling around like fire ants on top of her. 15 pieces of human flesh and their probing members stood between her and the ability to cram air into her lungs.

Her mounting body temperature climbed so high that she was able to burn the ropes off her hands and feet while remaining unharmed. As her breath returned, she let out a terrified shriek and slammed her fist into one man's stomach. He doubled over, blood spilling from his mouth onto her torso. She pulled herself into a standing position, putting some distance between her and the bodies which were closing in quickly. One was already grinding against her ass, while another was trying to get close enough to fondle her breast. Two more were slobbering over the inside of her ear. She slammed her elbow down when she felt a stab in her nether regions. In revulsion, she watched a hand drop out before its owner slid lifelessly to the ground.

Face aflame, energy and plasma poured out of her. The bodies surrounding her shuddered and blazed with fire while she alone remained unscathed. Her heart leapt as she used this new weapon on the others who were taking their places. Though she was still outnumbered. And eventually, fighting and kicking – even burning did no good as once again, the bodies continued sliming their way around her legs, causing her to fall backwards into a pool of groping limbs, mouths, and manhood. Writhing with sweat, she felt herself being covered with spit and fluid. Her hair was slick with it. Shame burned through her from head to toe. With a flash and a pop, she watched in horror as her skin began to sizzle and spark. She felt nothing until her body convulsed. Only then did she panic, causing her to drown deeper in the writhing flesh and seepage. Her brain registered that something was on fire, even through the bodies were so tightly packed she couldn't see around them. The smell of burnt flesh reached her nostrils mere seconds before her body exploded.


	10. Please Come Back Home

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.

Song Suggestion: Where'd You Go? Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook

Ice blue eyes flew open as Jubilee's hands clawed at the open air. Her back hit the floor and she awoke to find herself twisted in the sheets and drenched in sweat. _Holy__fuck._ She didn't even realize where she was! Her breathing was shallow and uneven as she writhed around, fighting off invisible specters. When she finally got herself under control, she could only manage to wonder why she had such a horrible dream in the first place. Apparently, the nightmares were getting worse. Although she'd had temporary reprieve from them in the medlab, it probably had something to do with all the drugs Beast had her on. They shouldn't have worn off so quickly though. She'd only been released to her room for the night!

As soon as she was able to catch her breath again, Jubilee wrenched herself up by grabbing onto the bed frame. Her body was on fire, and her back groaned, twisted and sore from the impact of the floor. Worst of all, her nerves were shot. Instead of sleeping, she'd be keeping one eye on her room, making sure it didn't suddenly morph back into a cell. She knew she couldn't stay by herself in this state. She was probably already running a fever. But she didn't want to go back to the medlab.

So, she did what she always did when she had a nightmare she couldn't handle. Logan would at least let her stay on the couch in his room. At least then someone would be keeping an eye on her in case she flatlined. She had nearly convinced herself to tell him everything. Rape and all. She couldn't hide it forever, and she had to know what his reaction would be. If he would stay and help…or place her under the care of the team. In which case she would be long gone before that ever happened. Maybe she was just looking for a reason to run. Or maybe she was trying to reassure herself that her tormentor didn't know what he was talking about.

If Wolverine couldn't be there for her even after all this, then she didn't know what she was going to do. She just knew that she couldn't stay in limbo any longer. And, she didn't want him to hear about her condition from someone else.

Untangling herself from the sheets which pooled around her body, she came to a sitting position on her bed. Once balanced, she made a grab for her crutches which were hooked over the short bedpost. Her arms positively screamed at the movement after all the strain she had put them under, but she felt as if she had no choice. It was either get to Logan, or be hooked up to monitors in the medlab.

If she ever needed Logan, it was now. Just to have someone to keep her demons from taking over. The stairs were a special pain in the ass. But they were worth it. The men's floor was one floor below the women's dormitory. Luckily the rooms were spatious and there was an expanse of wall between doors. So there was no danger of waking anyone else up.

Upon reaching his door, she knocked boldly and insistently. Though she received no answer from the sleeping man. Finally, she balanced herself on one crutch and tried the handle. Finding it unlocked, she edged her way into the darkened room.

"Logan? You awake? It's me." Strange that his heightened senses hadn't alerted him to her presence. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed the empty bed. He was probably in the rec room watching a late night movie or in the kitchen raiding the rest of his stash.

Not wanting to think the worst, she purposefully cased out every inch of the room as she made her way to his battered couch. She searched everywhere except the one spot she knew would lead to her undoing. Anxiously, she let her gaze fall on the dresser, praying not to see the piece of paper already crumpled up on top of it.

Why did he even bother to write? She already knew his goodbyes by heart. Judging by the fact it was balled up, she wondered if he'd gotten smart. Perhaps he realized that it was better to eat his own words than make her read them and watch her heart shatter into a million pieces. With several limps, she made her way to the dresser and smoothed out the paper with one hand.

Jubilee,

This is just to say that I'm going away because it's the best thing for you. I know you need me right now, and I'm sorry that I can't be there. But you need to learn to stand tall without me. I didn't want to leave so soon but something real urgent came up. I'll be back in a few days. In the meantime, remember what I taught you. Just keep your head up and don't give Beast a hard time. You know you're important to me and I'll always love you.

Logan

She reread the note just once before crushing it in her fist. Great. Just fucking great. A few days may as well have been two months in Wolverine speak. Forget that he didn't even have the decency to tell her in person. Sure his words were touching, or atleast they would've been if he hadn't given her the same speech every other month.

Besides, it wasn't the letter she wanted. He wasn't coming back, no matter how she wished things were different or how much she tried to play up to him. He kept giving her the same story that she had to learn to trust other people. That he wasn't always going to be around.

Yes, she could understand that. But did he have to be so callous about it? Where did he get off thinking that he was still a loving parent after all he had put her through? _But_, she told herself, _that__'__s__ just__ how__ he__ is._ _So,__ what__'__s __the__ point __of __getting __upset __about __it __now?_

_Because,_she answered_, __I __didn__'__t __even __get __a __chance __to __talk __to __him. __Didn__'__t __get __a__ chance __to __tell __him __what __happened. __He __used __to __stick __around__ long __enough __to __at__least __make __sure __I __was __doing __okay. __But __now __he__ doesn__'__t __even __bother __to __tell __me __before __he__ takes __off __to __God __knows__ where!_

Honestly, what did he expect her to do? Sit there and take it? She wasn't gonna dish out her deepest secrets and fears just so he could walk out on her. And she wasn't going to act like nothing had happened when he came back. She had desperately needed him to stay. Just this one time. And for once she didn't beg or throw anything in his face. She just let him go.

It didn't feel good. It didn't even feel right. In fact, it felt worse than it normally did. All she had was an aching sadness which permeated her sense of self. _Does __this __mean__ I__'__m __all __grown__ up __Wolvie?_ _I __guess __if __I __were, __I __wouldn__'__t __down __here __crying __my__ eyes __out __to __you __over __some __stupid __nightmare. __I __would __be __taking __care __of __my__ own __damn__ self._

* * *

><p>Back out in the stairway, she swore up and down about what had possessed her to come all the way down to the men's floor. She was currently sitting on the bottom step waiting for feeling to come back to her legs. If she could pull herself up the stairs by her arms, she would have. In fact, she had tried. But the pain had practically paralyzed her. Leaving her fuming, frustrated, and stuck where she was.<p>

She'd been there for the past twenty-seven minutes, staring at the hall clock to keep herself occupied. 3:30 AM and ticking. _Just __my __damn__ luck._ _The __one __time __I __need__ to __not __fall __flat __on __my __ass, __and__ what __do__ I __do? __If__ the __others __didn__'__t __think __I __was __weak __before, __what __are __they__ gonna __say __when __they __figure __out __I __can__'__t __even __pick __myself __up __off __the __floor?_

Hearing footsteps down the hallway, she began to pray in earnest._ Dear__ God,__ let __everyone __be __asleep. __Please __don__'__t __let __them__ see __me__ like__ this. __Do __me__ this __one __favor __and__ I__'__ll __never __ask __for __anything __else __ever __again._

The footsteps echoing closer left her praying even harder. _Please __please__ please __let __it __be __Logan __coming __back.__ Or __Gambit. __Hell__ I__'__ll __even __take__ Beast! __Send __me__ anyone. __Anyone__ at __all, __but__…_

"Well, well, well, look who decided to take a midnight stroll."

_Crap!_ _Crap!__ Crap!_ She and God were gonna have to have a serious talk. She groaned inwardly, as her one time partner in crime came sauntering down the stairwell, popcorn bowl in hand. _Why __did__ it __have __to __be __the__ one__ person __that __had__ an __even __bigger __mouth __than__ she __did?_

"Go fuck yourself Drake."

"Ooo touchy. Why are you down here babysitting the stairs anyway?"

"None of your beeswax."

Bobby didn't have to guess too hard at the reason. After all, she was frequently seen down on the men's floor in the company of a particular clawed combatant. "If you're looking for Wolverine you just missed him. He ran out a couple minutes ago in a real big hurry. Nearly made me spill my popcorn."

She acknowledged his answer with a low grunt. Then did her best to squeeze herself into the blackness of the stairwell. The soft hall lighting made her features practically glow, causing the cuts, bruises, and burns to stand out against her pale skin. As Bobby got his first good look at her, he had to struggle to keep his face level.

"Woah, what happened to you? You look worse than victim number thirteen after her heel broke and she got attacked by el sludge monster."

Jubilee grit her teeth. Dealing with Bobby was going to use up all of her energy. "Having a late night slashfest I see?"

"Insults will get you nowhere. Atleast not until you fess up. Now why don't you tell me who beat you up so I can kick their ass?"

"I can fight my own battles moron."

"Have you seen yourself?" Bobby asked in disbelief. "You couldn't even take on Toad right now!"

Jubilee resisted the urge to strangle him. "What does it matter?"

"What does it -? C'mon Lee! I know you're an X-man and all, but do you really have to go and prove it by jumping in the first fistfight that comes along!"

"For your information,_ I_ was the one who got jumped!" _Well __now __she__'__d __gone__ and__ done __it. __With __any__ luck,__ the __whole __mansion __would __know __by __breakfast._

Bobby did a double take. "You expect me to believe that after all the time you've spent hanging out with Logan, that you didn't throw the first punch?"

"Actually, yeah. I do. And I'd appreciate it if you kept your damned mouth shut. Unless you want to be pushing ice cubes out your butt like a flippin' ice maker!"

Bobby, being the idiot that he was, ignored her. "Man, Cyke is gonna freak! You were already lagging behind on those stupid early morning training sessions he pulled. Now you'll be on training detail for a year!"

"Bobby I swear to God if you don't shut up…"

"He'll never let you on a mission now! Geez, has he even seen you yet? You could at least have done a little more damage. Looks like you got worse than you gave."

He stepped in closer to inspect her face and Jubilee flinched back. Bobby didn't seem to notice that she was about five seconds away from paffing him into the wall.

Neither of them noticed Gambit's footsteps tread lightly down the stairwell. He _had_ been enjoying a smoke out on the roof. Now he had to come back in and deal with this shit. From what Gambit could tell, the Ice King was about to get his face blown off. If it were soley up to him, he would have stolen Bobby's popcorn and sat back to watch the fireworks. But a full out attack would wreak havoc on Jubilee. Her body couldn't take even the smallest amount of energy transfer without throwing her body chemistry off. And he didn't want her to get sick again. The woman was a hell of a lot more fun on her feet than stuck in bed.

He couldn't figure out why Jubilee had even let Drake corner her like that. There had to be a good reason she was caught out in the open. And whatever it was oughta make for a good story.

"Best back up homme. She don' look too happy ta see you, non?"

Bobby head jerked up. Eyes narrowing once he spotted who he was dealing with. "Why don't you do us all a favor and go back out on the roof…or better yet jump off of it. I got this." Bobby countered as he attempted to help Jubilee to her feet.

"If you don't get the hell away from me, I'm gonna turn your frozen butt into a blazing inferno!" It was a whispered threat that he just barely heard coming out of Jubilee's mouth. The potency of it startled him, but only for a moment.

"Quit being so stubborn. I'm just trying to help."

"I don't want your help!" She hissed.

"C'mon, I'm not about to leave you down here with Gumbo! He'd probably end up leaving you in a ditch somewhere."

Gambit's eyes flashed. This was one of the reasons he couldn't stand this place. Bobby was only following the herd. But it still didn't make the insinuation any less malicious.

"Have you got a couple of frozen brain cells? I'd be safer with him than I would with you."

"Sometimes I don't think you have the slightest clue what goes on around here. He's a traitor. He'll probably sell us all out first chance he gets. So quit with the illusion that he's some saint who's got your back. Now, are you coming with me or are you just gonna sit there all night?"

Jubilee planted her ass pointedly on the step. "I ain't goin' nowhere. So take your fucking popcorn, go back to your slash, and quit sticking your nose in my business."

Bobby's temperature dropped a few degrees, chilling the hallway's occupants. His feelings had clearly been cut to the quick. But, at this point, Jubilee could care less.

"Jubes, think about what you're saying."

"There's nothing _to_ think about!"

"I'm not gonna stand here and argue with you. Either you want my help or you don't. But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Piss. Off."

"Whatever." Bobby mumbled as he snatched the popcorn bowl and stalked off down the hall without so much as a backwards glance

She acknowledged his parting words with a light pop as he turned his back. Only after Bobby disappeared around the corner and his footsteps could no longer be detected, Gambit finally turned to Jubilee.

"What ya doin' down here _Petite_?"

"Apparently getting busted."

"Dat's not funny." The smirk on his face said otherwise. "Your legs give out on you?"

"Obviously."

He started to move toward her, but stopped short as she shied away from him.

"You can leave y'know."

"So ya sayin' ya want someone else ta come by and make both our lives a living hell? Cuz Gambit not leavin' unless you either safe in your room or de medlab. Your choice."

"Dammit Cajun…"

"S'not a problem. Gambit just call Beast." She knew he was bluffing, but as soon as his hand closed in on his communicator, Jubilee made a grab for his wrist.

"_Fine._ Maybe I need a _teensy_ bit of help getting back upstairs."

A lazy smile spread out over the Cajun's face. Clearly he was enjoying this. "Ya gotta be kiddin me. Dis Cajun's back's gonna give out havin ta carry you all over de place."

"I'm not gonna beg you sadistic asshole." The forced smile on her face looked downright psychotic. She was gonna kill him. Soon as she could get her powers to cooperate.

Shaking his head in a melodramatic fashion, he crouched down beside her and leaned her crutches against the wall. Before she could even open her mouth to protest, he had scooped her up, carrying her halfway up the stairs and back to her room. She rode stiffly in his arms, careful not to make any movement or give him any sign that needed further assistance.

* * *

><p>Cradling her carefully, he walked into her already open doorway and eased her down into an overstuffed chair. Her arms slid out from around his neck and she pulled away into the coldness that enveloped her. Too numb to notice the droplets of water that fell silently to the threadbare carpet.<p>

Gambit, however, didn't miss the tiny diamonds of light as they flashed unassumingly on her face. He left her just for a moment to get her crutches, in case she had the fool sense to try to walk again. Making sure no one else was skulking around, he swiped them and went back to her as quickly as he could.

His face turned serious as he reentered her room. Out in the hallway, he had made it a point to keep up the banter. There were too many prying ears around to delve too deeply into her issues. However, now that they were back on her own turf, it was a different story.

He kicked the door closed before going to kneel in front of her. She was pressed into the corner of the chair, lost inside of her own thoughts. Gently, he slid his hand under her chin, gazing up into her face. The girl's jawbone jutted out definitely, almost daring him to make one wrong move. Pulling it down to his level, he found what he was looking for. Skimming away a few stray tears with quick fingers, he whispered: "Dere be a reason ya cryin' chere?"

For the first time, she noticed the tears hitting the floor, and jerked her chin out of his reach. Nearly jamming her neck in the process. "I don't want to talk about it." She forced herself to look him head on. "'Sides, crying isn't all I do y'know."

"Gambit know. He seen ya in action. Mais cryin' ain't so bad either. Means ya still got some feelin' left in dere. Better dan nothin', non?"

"Crying just means you're weak."

"You only weak if ya don' pay attention to what your emotions be tryin ta tell ya." He felt like a fool. Here he was an empath letting everyone else's emotions eat away at him. And he was trying to tell Jubilee to try and understand hers?

"Do you always practice what you preach?" She challenged.

"Oui. But sometimes emotions get stuck. Makes it hard to function. Ya don't always have ta cry ta get dem out. Just have to listen to what dey be sayin' and deal wit whatever comes up."

The way he was talking made it very hard for Jubilee to maintain the tough exterior she needed to present. Something inside of her felt like it was breaking, and Gambit was only making it worse. Her throat suddenly went dry as her body closed up and shrank in on itself. A river started to run down her face and she put her hands up to stop it.

But Gambit wasn't about to let her. Interlocking his hands with hers, he eased her hands away and looked her dead in the eye.

"Somethin happen chere?"

She wasn't sure if she could trust herself to speak. She wanted him gone. Just so she wouldn't have to force her heart back open and feel it break all over again.

Jubilee couldn't convey with words what she wanted to say. They stuck and died in her throat before she could form a coherent sentence. Fortunately, she didn't have to say a thing. Gambit took her hands and eased them back around his neck. He moved his chin into the crook of her neck, whispering against her ear. "Parlez-moi."

His breath was warm against her chilled body, sending shivers down her spine. She struggled against him, not wanting to give into the warmth that threatened to engulf her. It reminded her too much of Logan. His scent, his clothes, everything… Yet, all she could remember was how he had walked out of her life.

The harder she struggled, the tighter Gambit held on. The man had an iron grip that was impossible to weasel her way out of. She tried halfheartedly to pull back and hit at him. But he anticipated as much, keeping a hand on the back of her head so all she could do was pound on his back. Sensing that the fight was leaving her, he had to remind himself she was only trying to protect what was left of her sanity. _But __damn__ if__ she__ couldn__'__t__ pack__ a__ punch._

With a heart wrenching sob, she finally collapsed. Unable to put up any more of a fight, she buried her face in his shoulder, crying her heart out. Knowing he had won the battle, Gambit didn't hesitate any longer to take her down against him. He waited as she became accustomed to being held, giving her time to pull back if she wanted.

Knowing she was too spent to protest, he wrapped her in his arms, rocking her back and forth as he had done the first night he had found her. Gambit was afraid she was going to regress, but this time she stayed with him, alert and conscious. It was a long time before she managed to choke out what had happened. He only made out bits and pieces.

"Nightmares…keep getting worse. Don't want to be monitored. Figured Wolvie would let me stay. Had to see what he'd say. Gonna tell him everything. Maybe if I had he wouldn't have…" Her dry heaves got in the way of finishing. Finally, she managed the only two words she ever had to say. "He's gone."

Gambit stayed silent. It wasn't his place to tell her to give up on Wolverine. But he guessed this had been a long time in coming. Wolverine wasn't one to be tied down. And Jubilee was getting to be too much of a handful for any one person. Of course, now wasn't the time to try to be teaching her a lesson about getting herself through life on her own. Now was the time to teach her how to defend herself, how to work with the ones she trusted instead of against them. Wolverine didn't know what he was giving up when he had decided to distance himself from his sidekick. Hadn't thought about what it would do to her. Maybe if he had, they wouldn't be in this situation.

He stroked her hair until she had cried herself out. Her steamy tears and snot clung to his brown leather jacket. He supposed he would have to get it dry cleaned. But he'd worry about that later. It's not like Rogue hadn't done the same thing on occasion…although she had to be more careful about staying within the confines of the fabric. Gently, he lowered her to the ground and shifted so he could pick her up and carry her to bed.

"C'mon chere. You need sleep."

"They'll come back." She was referring to the nightmares.

"Gambit be right here when dey do." He said, putting her down and pulling the blankets up over her. "You not gonna be hooked up. Not tonight." Pulling the overstuffed chair next to her bed, he sat down close enough to take her hand in his.

"Get some rest. Gambit stay til Beast comes."

Her eyelids fluttered, fighting off the exhaustion that only weighed her down. "Please don't make me go back there." She whimpered.

"Close your eyes." He whispered, running his thumb over her knuckles and smoothing the hair back off her forehead. "You be alright."

Completely drained, her head lolled to one side. It may or may not have had something to do with the energy field he was purposefully emitting. Perhaps he couldn't stop the nightmares, but he could make sure that at least one of them got some sleep tonight. Besides, the least he could do was make himself useful by seeing that she didn't pull something even more drastic than what she'd done tonight. It didn't seem like much, but moving around like that would set her training schedule back months.

Even if he wasn't the one to do it, he knew he would end up putting a word in the Professor's ear about making sure somebody took over with her in the danger room. It was the only way to get out the pent up energy that was going to explode all over them if they left it unchecked.

* * *

><p>French Translations<p>

Parlez-moi - Talk to me


	11. The Sound of Winter

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue.

Author's note: Thanks for all the very specific reviews! I'm taking your comments into consideration! Plus it motivates me to write faster :)

Song Suggestion - The Sound of Winter by Bush

Gambit swept down the hall towards Professor Xavier's office. He had left Jubilee to Beast's care after informing him about last night's escapades. He didn't betray the reason she was hurting, didn't say a thing about nightmares. He wasn't going to be the reason she was hooked up and monitored. _Let__ the__ telepaths __worry __about __that._

She had just barely been awake enough to complain about having to go back downstairs. It had taken both him and Beast to talk her into it. The only thing that got her to move was promising that she could come back to her room after Beast ran his tests. He could tell she felt safe in her own bed. It provided shelter from the rest of the mansion's residents. And after last night, she wasn't going to be looking forward to round two.

The only problem was getting her down to the lab without being seen. Apparently, insisting on the use of a wheelchair was quite the insult to la petite firecracker. In the end, Gambit had to turn a deaf ear to her mouth and dump her ungraciously into the offending object. He had been careful not to hurt her, but not so careful that his annoyance wasn't clearly communicated. She responded by flipping him off as Beast wheeled her away down the hall toward the elevator. Atleast her mood appeared to be lifting, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten off so easily.

His indignation didn't appear to offend her. Nor vice versa. It wasn't that he minded escorting her everywhere (despite what he had said earlier). But la femme could be a brat about getting her own way. And getting caught being close to her was just asking for trouble from everyone else. They gave him enough shit as it was. And he wasn't about to let Jubilee take on that burden. She had enough to deal with.

Gambit entered Xavier's office to find him sitting at the window, deep in thought, staring off into the distance. The acadian cleared his throat, letting his presence be known. Xavier hardly looked surprised to see him – almost as if he were expecting the interruption.

He turned to Gambit and smiled cordially. "Enter. Please."

Gambit strode purposefully into the room, ready for whatever would be thrown at him. The door suctioned shut, sealing them both in the room, ensuring their privacy.

"Professeur." Remy greeted, giving a quick nod of acknowledgement.

Charles continued to look out the window. "Good morning Remy. I've been expecting you."

"Bien. Porquoi?"

"All will be revealed in due time. Come to the window for a moment. There is something I wish to show you."

Gambit's cat like footsteps barely made a sound on the carpet as he complied with the request, though not much intrigued.

"The leaves are beautiful this time of year, are they not?" Xavier began. Watching as the multicolored foliage danced in the autumn wind. "It is rare to be able to enjoy the teachings of nature untainted by the troubles of the day. One can read much into its advice."

"What all dis got ta do wit' why I'm here?"

"Have you noticed how the changing of the seasons reflects our own inner workings?"

Gambit sighed impatiently. "Hadn't really t'ought about it."

"Allow me to take you through the wisdom of transformation. Let us begin with spring, which is a time of rebirth and growth. During that time, we are lost in our own wonder and see the world through innocent eyes. Then, during the heat of the summer, we are made to persevere through that which oppresses our innocence. We let the torridness mold us into something a bit rougher. So that when the fall comes, our minds and our attitudes begin to shift and change. We shed our proverbial leaves in order to make way for a new identity."

Gambit was almost impressed at Xavier's musings. Almost. He decided to test Xavier's wisdom, just for the hell of it. "What about de winter? Never was much for de cold." He stated bitterly.

Xavier's smile lessened, his face becoming troubled. "Winter is the time of internal struggle against the elements when we do not have the hope of spring to carry us through. Instead, we must struggle with the uncertainty of who we truly are. It is regrettable that some do not ever make it through this season to enjoy another Spring. They stay perpetually stuck in the cold, even as the cycle begins again."

Xavier's eyes turned towards his own. Gambit felt the edges of his mind being probed casually to determine if the words had left their mark. But there was something more in Xavier's expression than was concerned with Gambit's well being alone.

"Many of my students are shedding their leaves. They are purging old identities, memories, and emotions in order to make way for the person they are becoming. I believe this is especially true of one woman in particular."

"Jubilee." Gambit confirmed. Now his interest was piqued. Xavier had an ace up his sleeve and he wanted to know what it was.

"Yes. It is quite interesting that she appears to respond to you, considering the similarities between you both. Beast tells me you were the one that found her in her room."

"Oui."

"I have been informed of the _severity_ of her situation. Do not blame Beast. I sensed her distress on my own, though I have not discussed it with anyone except him. I won't ask you to repeat your story. But I will ask you to tell me about her emotional state. What did you sense when you found her?"

"La femme's scared out o' her mind. Mais she not gonna ask for help. She afraid of it."

"Why?"

Gambit stated what he knew carefully, unsure of the Professor's intent. "She been through a lot. And wit' all due respect, your school ain't de most welcoming place anymore. De others, dey be kickin' her when she down. Makin' her feel like she don' matter. That reason enough?"

Xavier's face slackened in a worrisome frown. "I knew things were getting tense. But I had no idea they were affecting Jubilee in the same way they have influenced you."

"Professeur, you let dis team leave us both to die. An' you not intervene when we come back. What kinda message you t'ink dat send?"

Xavier was clearly not expecting this level of accusation. He glared at Gambit, forced to acknowledge his own failures. "Perhaps I have let my dedication to the dream that mutants and humans can coexist peacefully get in the way of my own compassion. But you must understand that battles will not end for the sole benefit of their casualties."

"And that mon professeur is why we fighting a losing battle. Take care of your own and maybe you find dat dese new students you trainin' be more willing to risk dey lives for your cause."

"I admit, there have been too many deaths already. And I will accept the blame for the atmosphere of my school. But to focus on the past is to take away the power to prevail in the future. There must be some way to get past the insecurities and emotions that have befallen our team. We must find some way to come together and bond as a family should." He put a hand to his head wearily as the telepathic backlash assaulted him. Coming back to the matter at hand, he added, "Although from what I gather, both Jubilee and yourself appear to be searching for something that you are not receiving here."

"Dis ain't no family no more. Everyone be too busy fendin' for demselves. Jubilee, she different. She need de others. But dey up and leave her and she don' know how to deal wit dat. Makes it hard ta trust somebody after knowing how it gonna end.

"Does she really feel she cannot come to us? That we wouldn't care for her as we always have? We have tried to reach her…but she will not yield to our comfort."

"Ya can't try to crack an egg by throwing it on de ground and picking up de pieces. 'Sides, Jubilee be needin somebody dat know what she capable of. Dat girl gon' blow if she left here on her own. De others, dey mean well, but dey don' understand what she go through."

"Do you, then? How is it that you understand what she goes through when not even Emma can penetrate her mind?"

"Doesn't take a telepath to know de girl be hurtin'. Her emotions be projectin' all over de place. She t'ink she be keepin' 'em under wraps, but de pressure it take to do dat make a black mark on de energy field. Telepath couldn't pick it up."

"But you can?" Xavier seemed fascinated by this revelation. They had never discussed Gambit's empathic sensitivities before. It was an ability that Gambit had learned to live with, but never seemed keen to talk about.

"Even if Gambit didn't have sense enough ta pick up t'ings, he been t'rough enough to know how it feel. Guess it take one ta know one, non?"

"Indeed."

"So, de question is, what you gon' do about it?"

"I believe I have a proposition that will appeal to you both."

"Peut-être."

"I have spoken with Moira. There is a place for Jubilee at Muir Island. However, I do not want to send her alone. To send her away without any support, I'm afraid, would be too much for her to process."

"Dat's de understatement of de century." Gambit muttered.

"The psychic tension in the mansion has also reached a boiling point regarding recent events. Perhaps it would be best for all concerned if you were to accompany her. I could arrange for your…er…removal…so that to the others it would look like you were simply on leave.

The proposition was unsettling to Gambit, but he had to admit that a break from this place would be nice. "So you gon' kick us out cuz de others don' wanna deal wit dis mess."

"That was not my intention. I simply feel that being away from the pressures of the team will give you both a chance to heal. And it will give me a chance to work with the others so that they can learn to process what has befallen our family in the healthiest way possible. It will bring us all together."

Gambit snorted. "Dat gone take a miracle."

"The miracles of nature happen every day, yet we do not always take the time to see them. Brave the winter Gambit. And let us pray that Spring comes swiftly."

"What if it don't?"

"Then we do the best we can with what we have been given. But I trust that in time, everything will be made right."

"So what all I gonna do at Muir Island? Gambit ain't playin' babysitter jes so ya can keep tabs on la femme. If ya send me, ya sendin' me ta train her. Soon as she heals up."

"I would expect no less. Her training was put on hold because of her sensitive condition. But I do not feel it has done her any good."

"You just now realizin' dat? La femme a walking time bomb. Ya don't give her an outlet, she goin ta explode all over de place."

Moira is more equipped to deal with Jubilee's medical needs and fluctuating powers. I trust that you will work closely with her to ensure that Jubilee is not harmed while her gifts come to fruition."

"D'accord."

"I'm afraid it's going to require a bit more of you than just a simple acknowlegement suggests. How much has Jubilee told you about her powers?"

"Not much. Den again, she don't know much about it neither."

"We have tried to keep her in the dark for as long as we can. Jubilee has latent telepathic powers that have evolved during her encounter with Bastian. From what we have learned, he also performed horrifying experiments on her to try and stimulate her powers. I don't know quite how to put other than to say that it appears he was trying to make her blow herself up once her powers reached a critical level. With her temper, it is not hard to see how that could occur."

Gambit was livid. "Why you keepin' somethin' like dat from her? Don' ya think she need ta know if she gon' kill herself by goin' postal?"

"It was our fear that she would try to do so purposefully."

The cajun shook his head. "Dere be other ways of goin' about it. If she wanted ta off herself, she would have by now. Seem like she be holdin' out fer somet'in."

Xavier shifted uneasily. He didn't want to think about all the ways Jubilee could end up taking her own life. He knew that she had the means along with a reason, which was why they had kept such a close eye on her in the first place. Soon, though, it would be out of his hands.

"I will leave it up to your discretion whether you tell her the intent behind the experimentation. Your own situation is rather unique in that respect and will perhaps give you insight on how to proceed."

Gambit began to sense that he was on the receiving end of a bad deal. Xavier was purposefully making him dredge up things that he thought had put to rest. And if anything went wrong, he would end up with a bounty on his head. Hell, Wolverine'd probably gut him in his sleep. _If__ he __could __get __close __enough to do it__…_

Noting his discomfort, Xavier tried to allay his concerns. "Let me deal with Wolverine and the others. I have already spoken with both Sean and Emma. Fortunately, they have given their blessing over this arrangement. As far as the others know, Sean will oversee Jubilee's training."

"How ya manage dat?"

"You are not the only one who is resourceful. In truth, they have Jubilee's best interests at heart, and while they cannot reach her, they are open to the possibility that you can. Despite whatever you may have done in your past."

Gambit narrowed his eyes. He was already prepared to take on the job, trusted or not. But he wasn't going to let Xavier know that. Atleast not before getting some benefit out of this deal. He was, after all, a man of buisness.

"Why me?"

"You are the only one who can help her. We have exhausted all of our resources. Our efforts have been meaningless. Yet within two days, you've managed to break through her barriers and earn her trust. Who else do you suggest we turn to?"

"Not my fault ya don' know how ta take care o' de girl. What it benefit me ta take over?"

"Think of it as a personal favor. When the time comes in which you have need of something, I shall return it. Whatever it is." Though after considering who he was dealing with, he added "Within reason."

"Gambit only want two t'ings. One, he be cashin' in dat favor. But two is de most important. Dey say third time's de charm, but not in dis case. So learn from your mistakes. De next time de X-men feel de need ta leave someone behind, send a freakin' search party."

Xavier eyes pierced Remy's own, showing his sincere repentance. Written contracts were not needed. The look that passed between them said it all. After a period of silent agreement, Gambit spoke up. "How we get her ta go?"

"We must let Jubilee experience the full effect of the team's reaction to her situation. Only then will we have a chance of getting her to realize the need for a break."

"Let moi guess. Emma's bright idea."

"We all agreed it was for the best."

"Dat gon' backfire. How ya gonna get her ta go if she t'ink I be leavin' her? You gonna tell her what goin' on or jes hope she figure it out on her own before she have a meltdown?"

"Emma and Sean were hoping they'd be able to reason with her before it came to that. If necessary, she would have to be drugged for her own safety. What do you suggest we do without alerting anyone?"

"Let me talk wit' her. Try ta get her ta go willingly. Tell her what's bein' offered and keep her in de loop for once. De training won' even enter into it, but I be tellin' her I go wit' her. She might make a fuss, but atleast she know. Den if ya want ta throw her to da wolves and make yer point, I won' get in de way."

"That could prove troublesome. Suppose she were to say something about your involvement and make trouble for you both?"

"She ain't stupid. She keep her mouth shut about it. An' It better den lettin' her get eaten alive or worse yet taken against her will. You want ta send her ta Muir Island after she done slashed her wrists up?"

"Very well. If all goes according to plan, Emma and Sean will come in as backup. They will escort her to Muir Island in the next few weeks. You will be leaving shortly after to take a commercial flight to New Orleans under your real identity, and from there, a flight to Scotland under an assumed identity. Taking any of our jets would only alert the others using the log."

"Bien."

"Is there anything else you wish to say?"

"Not dat you'd want ta hear."

Xavier nodded. "Regardless, my door is always open. I shall be in touch." He tapped the side of his head lightly to indicate the method of communication.

"Jeannie be catchin' on won' she?"

"Not all telepaths operate at the same frequency. Private conversations are possible."

"Compris."

"Good luck, Gambit. You may find that this can be a welcome change for you as it will be for her."

"Ain't fair ta make dis about me. And don' expect moi ta work miracles. Jubilee gon' do what she gon' do. Ain't a thing Gambit can do ta stop her if she set her mind on somethin.'"

"All I ask is that you try and bring her back to us."

"De damage already been done. You gon' have ta work on yer end and fix t'ings here. Mais Gambit do what he can wit her."

"I understand. You are performing a tremendously commendable act, my friend. I cannot thank you enough."

"Gambit only doin' what shoulda been done in de first place." He asserted harshly before making a grand exit, his trenchcoat billowing out behind him.

* * *

><p>French Translations<p>

Bien, Porquoi? - Good. Why?

La femme – the woman

Mais – But

Peut-être – Possibly

D'accord - Agreed

Compris - Understood


	12. Looking Through the Glass

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue.

Song Suggestions: Part One - Korn - Narcissitic Cannibal

Part Two - Stone Sour - Through Glass

* * *

><p><strong>Part One:<strong>

**Song Suggestion: Korn – Narcissistic Cannibal**

Jubilee's eyes bored holes into the ceiling. She was trying to drift back into a blissful unconsciousness, and failing miserably. These days all she did was sleep. Or get poked and prodded in the medlab. But now, there was something stopping her from enjoying the small amount of rest before her dreams turned into waking nightmares.

It was the same thing that had plagued her in her brief stint in college and with the other X-teams. Those same voices. They were coming back to invade the one place she felt safe.

Whispered accusations filled her mind, blaming her for leaking even the tiniest amount of information. Asserting her worthlessness and calling her a fool for believing in anything. In anyone. They berated her for breaking down and chastised her for being weak.

There was one voice that stood out above the rest. Bastian. Always Bastian. Even though she had escaped, it was as if he still had her in a psychic chokehold. Sleeping was next to impossible when all she could do was worry about putting an end to his influence.

A war raged inside of her head as Bastian's voice interrupted her own thoughts.

*******Mental Conversation***********

_"Where is the one you have placed your trust in? The one with the hidden agendas. I would assume he's plotting behind your back as we speak, Why can't you accept that the X-men want you gone. Best to give them what they want, wouldn't you agree?"_

_**Just give it up already! Go away.**_

_"Why do you delude yourself into thinking he can take my place? I am the only one who knows what you are capable of. I have made you into what you are. No one can come between us."_

_"**I'm not your play thing anymore!"**_

_"Do not allow him to interfere."_

_"**I don't take orders from a wannabe cyborg!"**_

_"I am infused with you. You cannot get rid of me so easily."_

_"**I don't care if I have to die to get you out of my head, you won't control me!"**_

_"Wishful thinking my dear. Your death would only provide me with the perfect opportunity to destroy everything you hold dear."_

_***********_End Mental Conversation_************  
><em>

The battle dragged on, making her dizzy and sick with fear. A myriad of ways to end this insanity went through her mind, most of them involving drowning, chemicals, or pills. Some sleep inducing method where she could just drift off into nothingness.

Only she knew it wouldn't be that simple. Everytime she closed her eyes, she pictured herself drowning…gasping for air and choking on water. Fighting for the will to live and knowing she would never survive.

It shamed her, knowing she had let it come to this. Had she survived this long only to let her tormentors drive her out of her own body? Sure, she had made it through dealing with juvie, Wolverine's coldness, Everett's death, Bastian's games, and now a gang bang. But at what price? She had lost to enemies who had erased her very sense of being. And she had no idea how to get herself back.

Only one person seemed to know what she was going through. But she couldn't bring herself to confide in him. Maybe she was afraid that her problems would somehow hurt him. But if that were the case, why wasn't she more worried about hurting Logan?

It had been so long since someone had really studied her and been able to understand what she couldn't bring herself to reveal. The thought made her feel incredibly vulnerable. There was just something about Gambit's demeanor that made her want to scream in his face and cry her eyes out at the same time. She was getting tired of holding back.

It's not that she was afraid of hurting him. Rather she was afraid that the troublesome Cajun would try and stop her from doing what she was being driven to do. Maybe actually care enough to somehow make her regret it.

That alone scared her more than anything. After all, it's not like she wanted to die. There just didn't seem to be a happy ending in her future. She had all but given up in the dream she once fought for, knowing that it would only lead to her death. And, she would rather leave this world on her own terms than to be at the mercy of her enemies.

She just didn't know how she would ever be able to look Gambit in the face without giving herself away. She didn't even know if she could look herself in the face, knowing what she had to do. Honestly, she couldn't remember having looked at her reflection since this whole mess began. She had no idea how banged up she was or how pathetic she looked trying to pull herself around. She wondered exactly what it was about her appearance that caused some of the most jaded people on earth to look at her with such pity.

Morbid curiosity began to take root. It gnawed at her until she had climbed out of bed, stuffed her crutches under her arms, and hobbled to the full length mirror on her closet.

She purposefully kept her eyes averted until she was standing nose to nose with herself. Slowly, she raised her face to take in her features. As soon as she began to realize what she was staring at, her insides gave way to churning violently. Threatening to spill their contents all over the floor.

This couldn't be what she looked like… She might as well have been looking at her own skeleton. A skeleton that had been burnt to a crisp, cut to death, and littered with black, purple, and blue. The stitches in her forehead took up most of the space on her tiny head. Patches of hair stuck out in every direction. The bright pajamas that Cecilia had helped her change into looked three sizes too big and hung off of her pale body, horribly out of place.

Lines of practiced hatred that marred her delicate china doll face. And that vacant stare! Those expressionless eyes! It was like she wasn't even looking at herself. A stranger in her own body.

Glaring at the wreck standing before her, Jubilee saw red. Bastian's words bubbled up in the pit of her stomach.

"_Have you not realized that your very life is expendable for the sake of all that is good? _

Look at what Xavier's "dream" had done to her! Did her life mean nothing to Xavier? To Wolverine? To anyone? The humans who had raped her wanted nothing to do with living in peace with mutant kind. And Bastian only mocked her when she had valiantly tried to defend those ideals. Ideals that she had believed in. Hell, she had convinced herself that Xavier was the end all be all.

Was all this doubt part of Bastian's plan?

"_You were made for me to manipulate."_

The bastard must have known all along that Xavier's weakness for his dream would take precedence over his X-men. That it would give him the time he needed to get information out of her. Maybe off her before anyone could get there. And the others just went along with whatever orders they were given. Leaving her to become a shell of her former self.

Unable to cope with the voices any longer, she pulled her first back, ramming it as hard as she could into the mirror. Breaking it into thousands of tiny shards. Her face reflected back in the broken pieces. Fragmented. Just like her soul.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two:<strong>

**Song Suggestion: Stone Sour – Through Glass**

Coming back to Jubilee's room after the meeting like he'd promised, Gambit pondered exactly how to bring up Xavier's proposal. It didn't matter how he phrased it. She would be furious with him for having her future decided for her. And there was only so much he could do to cushion the blow.

At this point he was prepared for anything. Still, the closer he got to her door, the more ill at ease he felt. The primal energy radiating out from behind it told him that all was not right with the world. Before he could get a feel for what was going on, the sound of breaking glass filled his ears, making his apprehension all the more tangible. Causing him to have the lock to her room popped in record time.

It took him a mere second to process what had happened. Jubilee was standing in a pile of shattered glass, looking dazed. Blood dripping quietly on the floor.

Gingerly stepping over the slivers of light, he made his way to the woman and promptly surrounded her bloodied wrist with his gloves, making no contact with the skin. To anyone else, it would seem like she wasn't even aware of where she was or what she was doing. But he knew that her dazed act was a way of hiding from the terrors of what she had been through. A way of cutting off the pain.

Looking deep into her eyes, he silently asked for her cooperation. The confusion he detected within them betrayed the vacant stare she had been giving him moments before. Her sapphire orbs reflected back a touch of upset which told Gambit that on some level, she was perfectly in control. Maybe, if he worked with her enough, he'd be able to get her back in touch with that part of herself which was disconnected.

Sensing no immediate discomfort at his presence, he brought her injured appendage closer to him and began extracting shards of glass out of the sides of her knuckles. Knowing that the pain was lost on her. She made no move to stop him. In fact, she didn't flinch at all. Just let him do what he needed as she stared silently off into space.

When he had finished tending to the surface wounds, he turned his attention towards the emotional ones. Letting go of her wrist he slid his covered hands up to her forearms. Amazingly, she let him lead her through the mess on the floor. As if he were some metaphorical guide leading her through the shattered remnants of her life.

The bed shifted with their weight as he sat them down on the mattress side by side. Raising a hand to her face, he exhaled gently. "Ya can't keep doin' dis chere."

She stared straight past him, barely acknowledging his presence. "Doing what?" She asked doggedly.

"What you think?" He soothed, stroking her arms as he tightened his grip firmly so she couldn't turn away.

It seemed to have its effect. Tears began to leak down her narrow cheekbones. "I just wanted it to stop."

"Wanted what ta stop?" He turned her body towards him, knowing if he could somehow make eye contact, he'd learn what he needed to know.

"Please! You already think I'm crazy. Last thing I need is to be locked up because I'm stupid enough to say it out loud."

"Remember who you talkin' to chere. Dere be different kinds of crazy and Gambit seen 'em all. Ain't nothin new."

"It's not like I can explain it..."

"Jes' try. Whatever you say, it stay between us, non?"

Jubilee nodded quickly, staring at the ground as she talked. "It….it's like I've got Bastian in my head and he's trying to kill me all over again. I hear his voice every time I close my eyes. And those…assholes. They just laugh at me. And tell me I'm stupid for even trying to fight back."

Removing his hand from her arm, he cupped her face and stared her down. "Mais you gotta fight back. Living through what ya did is the easy part. Dealing wit' the aftermath is what gets to ya. It fucks with yer head. Makes ya think life ain't worth livin'. And that you ain't worth fightin' for."

The girl was thrown, but that didn't stop her mouth. "Spare me the lectures."

"Ain't a lecture. Only de truth." Gambit's heart slid into a darker part of himself. His eyes were encased in shadows as he inadvertantly revealed what he had had to struggle with these many months.

"I'm defending myself the best way I can."

"Oui, mais how long you gonna be able to keep it up? Sooner or later, you gon' need somebody ta be dere when you break."

"I…." She started, then paused. "I can't take that chance."

"What chance dere be ta take?" He asked, grasping her upper body and forcing her to look at him. "Worst case, Remy fail ya like everyone else. But you be de better off for it. Dat Remy can promise."

"You don't understand…"

"Den help moi."

She stayed silent, refusing to speak and betray the reasons she had started becoming unresponsive to everyone in the first place.

Gambit relented, not wanting to scare her off too quickly. "Stay quiet if ya t'ink it be helpin' ya. But know dis. If Gambit leave ya be, it gonna get a whole lot worse. You t'ink it bad now, wait til everyone find out what Remy already know. Ya ain' gon' be able ta keep 'em in de dark for much longer widdout help."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Ya may know, but ya ain't processin.'"

"You have no right to tell me what I may or may not be doing. Especially when you don't have the slightest clue."

"You forget Chere. Remy be an empath. He know when you puttin' up a front."

She was caught like a fly in a spider's web, and she knew it. But damned if she'd let him know. "I don't need you to inform me of my every move."

"Not your every move chere. Jes de dishonest ones."

"You gotta be shittin' me! You make a living out of lying to people and you're calling me out? Somebody oughta do the same damn thing to you. Let you see what if feels like."

"Many have tried. Mais only two have mastered the art."

"Make that three. Cuz I'm gonna kick your Cajun ass if you try to work your spidey senses on me again!"

Gambit felt her body heat up, even through the fabric of his gloves. He figured he had about three seconds to intervene with Xavier's idea before she closed herself off again. Injuries be damned.

"Save it for de danger room petite. Cuz as soon as you healed up, dat's where Xavier's gon' have you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, her hands went back to their normal temperature.

"What?" For a split second, Gambit saw a glimmer of hope before it faded back out. "With who?"

"Don' know yet. De details still bein' worked out."

"What details?"

"Dat's for me to know and you to find out."

Jubilee bristled. "So let me get this straight. You've been talking with Xavier behind my back?"

"Oui. Le Professeur think he have a solution to your problems. Mais Gambit want to talk wit' you about it before you have a chance ta tell him where ta go."

"I can't believe you'd think I'd hear anything you have to say, if you can't include me in conversations that concern my well being."

"Gambit not de one who called de meeting."

"You still went didn't you? I can only guess the Prof wants to ship me out and you're here to talk me into going."

Gambit sighed. This was the part of the conversation he wasn't particularly looking forward to. "T'ink what you want, but atleast Gambit got de sense ta tell ya. Xavier liable to just drug ya up and ship ya out. Deal wit your temper later. So ya best be hearin' what I got to say."

"You really want me to think you're looking out for me? You've probably got some side deal goin on."

A smirk lit Gambit's features. Jubilee was a lot of things, but she wasn't stupid. "Remy workin' on somethin' dat benefit you an' you alone. Can he finish sil vous plait?"

"Spit it out and get out."

By the look on her face, Remy knew his next words could persuade her towards passivity or a complete breakdown in trust. So he bit back a few colorful Cajun epithets.

"Xavier want to send us both to Muir Island."  
>"Why <em>us<em>?" She bit out.

"Gambit not playin' babysitter, or spy…if dat's what you be thinkin'. He gon' make sure you heal up and be ready ta start trainin' wit' whoever Xavier picks."

Jubilee eyed him skeptically. "And what do you get out of such a noble act?"

"Whatever Gambit get out of be in everybody's best interest. Tu in particular."

"Why should I believe that? My situation isn't something you're allowed to use for your own personal gain you profiteering weasel!."

_That did it!_ The girl clearly didn't know who she was dealing with. Gambit's hands slid off her wrists, unconcerned with whether she might harm herself again. The only thing that held her to him was the weight of his scowl.

"What make you t'ink Gambit doin' dis for hisself?" He asked, as his blood red eyes bored into hers. For the briefest of seconds, Gambit took down his defensive shields, letting her see straight into his soul. For a minute or so, he allowed her to skim the surface of his thoughts, breaking contact only to disallow entry into the darkness within. "Mebbe ya don't know moi as well as you t'ink chere."

For the first time in her life, Jubilee was speechless. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his captive gaze. Somehow, he had gotten through to her.

Knowing he had her right where he wanted her, he didn't give her a chance to withdraw again. "You know dis place gon' drive ya crazy if ya stay long enough. Why you put yourself through treatments here and let de others give you hell for somethin' dey don' know nothin' about? Muir Island not be permanent. It jest 'til ya heal. Moira, she can keep an eye on you better dan Beast can. Got more sophisticated equipment. Less use for needles wit de technology she packin'."

Confused, yet ever determined, Jubilee voiced her concern. "Why are you saying this to me now?"

"Gambit wants what's best pour you. Dere ain't no benefit in stayin' and dealin' wit de bullshit dat goes on around here."

The honesty in his statement reverberated deep within her. There was no holding back now. All of the conflicted emotions came crumbling down around her. Causing her to reciprocate his tenacity. "This place – this bullshit - it's all I've got left! I can't go to the middle of nowhere and start all over again with doctors that just want to use me like some lab rat! I get enough of that here and I've already been through enough as it is! If anyone forces my hand, I'll run. And wherever I end up sure as hell isn't going to be to a hospital! Don't think I'm telling you so can track me down either. Consider it a warning."

"Where you gon' go where Cerebro can't find you? It won' be me dat brings you back to dis place. But I not lettin' you go widdout a fight. Not in de state you in."

"They'll have me hooked up to monitors like everyone else! I can't go through that again!"

"Muir Island ain't a normal hospital chere. It not jes four white walls, people pryin' in yer head, an' pokin' ya wit needles. Dey can help teach you ta walk proper again. An' use de shiar capabilities ta make yer wounds heal faster. Dey might be able to help ya deal wit' yer powers. Tell ya what's wrong with 'em. Sides, dey ain't gon' monitor ya like Jeannie gonna do if she find out about all dis.

It was maddening for Gambit, knowing she was going to make this decision so much harder than it had to be. She always did have a knack for learning the hard way, but in this case she could literally be digging her own grave. Especially if Xavier let her take her chances with the other X-men. The Professor hadn't seen what she'd been almost done to Bobby. Putting her through any more interaction was just asking for trouble. Though, truth be told, he was sorely tempted to sit back and enjoy watching the others get what they had coming to them.

"Jes t'ink about it. Ya don' have ta do anythin' ya don't want. Gambit not force you to go. He jes tryin' ta save you from more heartache. Stayin' ain't worth de pain it gon' put you through. An' ain't nowhere you can run dat dey ain' gonna find you. You got de street smarts ta make it work, but it ain't de life ya deserve."

What Jubilee saw as she probed Gambit's face was the hardened resolve that came from being a streetrat himself – stealing to live, escaping the system, dealing with the underbelly of society. It was a life he had worked hard to escape, though what it had taught him was deeply ingrained into who he was.

"Don't make me choose between my sanity and what little I have left here."

"Dat not what Gambit here for. Mais you gon' see soon enough it be de best t'ing for you. You got ta learn for yerself though. Experience de best teacher and Gambit not deprive you of dat."

With that final thought, he lifted himself off of the bed. "Gambit gonna go get Beast to treat yer hand. He comin' right back so don' break nothin' else." It was a weak attempt at a joke, but she seemed to appreciate it all the same. Evidenced by the twitch of her lip into what may have been the start of a smile. Although it disappeared far too quickly for him to tell.

As he turned to leave, a quiet voice stopped him. "Wait."

He paused, looking back expectantly. But one glance at her face had him walking back towards the bed. He stopped in front of her, dropping his hand affectionately on her head.

She continued to stare at the floor before finally lifting her chin and looking him in his blood red eyes. "I'll think about it." She stated blandly. "But I won't be forced."

"Je comprends." Withdrawing his hand, he lowered himself down to her level so that he could make sure she understood the importance of his next request. "One last t'ing. Dis arrangement be between you, moi, and Xavier. No one else, d'accord?"

"Kinda figured. Wouldn't want the others to get their panties in a bunch. Don't worry. I won't blow your little secret. Unless you give me a reason."

"Ya drive a hard bargain."

"Gotta make sure someone's looking out for me."

"Gambit got associates in all de right places. Always someone gonna be lookin' out fer ya chere." That was a promise (or a threat depending on how stubborn she chose to be). He didn't have the sophistication of Cerebro. But he knew how to track a person down. And it didn't hurt that both himself and the Guild had connections all over the world. Even if she refused his help, he'd still make damn sure she was protected. Atleast until she needed protecting from herself. Then, and only then, would he intervene.

Gathering himself to his full height, he left her alone, knowing that it was better to leave her unmonitored than to make her feel like she was on some type of suicide watch. There was only so much he could do to save her from herself. The best prevention he could provide was making sure that her wounds were tended to, and the aftermath was dealt with swiftly and discreetly. Any huge reactions from their teammates would probably result in her jumping out a third floor window. Though he understood the desperation within her. There were times he would have done anything to stop the craziness from within. But the only way to counter that was stability in the outside world. If she didn't get that, she wouldn't have a prayer.


	13. Goodbye Apathy

_Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue._

**Chapter 12**

_Song Suggestions:_

_Part One: One Republic – Goodbye Apathy_

_Part Two: The Naked and Famous - Punching in A Dream_

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Goodbye Apathy<strong>

Gambit wasn't normally the worrying kind. That was before he had been reduced to pacing the length of his room like a madman, realizing mid-stride that the woman in question had a hold on him that she shouldn't have. It had been a week and Jubilee was still holding out. The others were finally starting to pay attention to what was going on, thanks in no small part to Bobby's overworked mouth._ Damned if that frozen fool didn't know when to keep it shut!_

To make matters worse, Xavier was getting impatient with Gambit's "hands off" approach. The Professor wanted the matter dealt with swiftly, and he knew in order to do that, Jubilee would have to be treated against her will. Sean and Emma were still on standby. Mostly because even Xavier knew that having them confront Jubilee now would create an even bigger scene than the one that was already brewing. If any of them had their way, la femme wouldn't be coherent enough to know who she was or where she was going.

It was a sensitive matter for everyone concerned, but Xavier was carrying the weight of the team's pending involvement. As much as he was concerned for Jubilee's safety, he was the one who had final say over what happened to his X-men. Which meant that he could put Jubilee where she needed to be, if only for the good of the team. But he wouldn't be able to stop her if she took her life into her own hands.

The powers that be were all relying on Gambit's advice, but time was running out. As much as he was loathe to go along with it, the circumstances were no longer in favor of a sympathetic approach. He had tried his damndest to convince Jubilee to go on her own terms. To get her away from all of this. He had nearly succeeded too, until a fucking phone call from Wolverine had shot all of his efforts to hell. The idiot had all but pleaded with her to go. Which, understandably, resulted in a determined resolve to make the feral's life miserable.

Now the ball was no longer in Jubilee's court. And fuck it all if she wasn't going to be stubborn as hell. He had known the woman would put herself in harm's way just to prove a point, but he didn't think she would be pushed to make good on her threats. Atleast not before he could get through to her. He really should have known better than to think he could just charm her into leaving with him. But it had seemed to be the reasonable solution at the time.

It still would have been if everyone hadn't chosen _now_ of all times to wise up and stage an intervention. All because Bobby had thought it prudent to inform the team that Jubilee couldn't walk to save her life, and looked like a cross between the bride of Frankenstein and Deadpool. Practically everyone knew she had snuck out and gotten jumped. It just figured they all ignored la femme until she was well beyond any help and then wanted to try and throw in their two cents.

Scott had gone through the roof, blasting her out to the professor. Calling her a vigilante fighter, just like Wolverine. Detailing in no uncertain terms that she was a liability to the team if she couldn't get her act together. Emma had intervened, having ensured Scott suffered a telepathic tirade and was not allowed anywhere near Jubilee until he got own sanctimonious act together. It was probably the only thing that had saved their fearless leader from getting the stick up his butt handed to him by an explosive Asian.

Jean, for her part, was chomping at the bits to oversee Jubilee's progress. She all but demanded to know about Jubilee's immediate condition and what was being done about it. Which, of course, added fuel to everyone else's fires.

The growing concern about her stability made the entire team wary. It was aggravating to think no one had actually seen her except for Bobby, but they had deluded themselves into thinking they knew what was best for the woman moreso than she did. No one knew the reasons behind her distress, of course. But they certainly weren't lacking in solutions for it.

It was now common discussion as to what was going to be done about la femme's lack of self control. No one wanted to have to deal with her in the field, and they were all hoping for relief from "babysitting duty" as Betsy had so aptly termed it. Warren and Marrow, in particular, wanted to see Jubilee get what was coming to her. The new additions and returning members had gotten hit the worst with her mouth. Mostly because they did nothing but stir up problems with the only "family" she had ever known.

The ironic thing was nothing she had ever told them was anything less than the truth. How was it that all of them had lived through things that would drivemost people past the brink of insanity…yet the one person who had the sense to point out its obvious effects was labeled crazy? There wasn't even a sense of acknowledgment for her experience. As if being put through hell was merely a skill that had to be mastered. Thus rendering the inability to cope as the highest of offenses.

Was there really nothing he could do to stop Jubilee from having to bear the brunt of the team's stupidity and malice? He swore if he had to track her down because the others felt the need to throw their weight around, he was going to make damn sure every last one of them felt the consequences. Because every day he lost with her was another day she would have the opportunity and means to end it all. And he simply couldn't, in good conscience, let that happen. Not when it was preventable.

He hadn't meant to get so attached to the woman's future. It wasn't even like they had been particularly close. Neither had known much about what the other had been through, nor had they cared. Until now.

It was only after he had felt that same soulless stare reflecting in his own blood stained depths that he knew he had a choice to make. In that moment, he had been forced to decide whether he would turn his back on an innocent teammate or leave her to the same fate he had suffered. Some days he wasn't even sure he had made the right decision.

But Jubilee had somehow weasled her way into a part of his soul that had been torn apart and sealed away. If it weren't out of sheer frustration, she wouldn't have been allowed entry at all! But nothing else had worked to earn her trust.

Now they seemed to understand each other in a way that the others couldn't even relate to. In the back of his mind he knew he would have to strengthen the unspoken boundaries between them before either of them delved deeper than he was comfortable with.

He was beginning to see that it was something more than a deep seated concern drawing them towards each other. Somehow this care for her wellbeing was turning into something of a spiritual quest for them both. And it was highly unnerving. All he knew was that if he let her down now, it would just be one more thing to add to the weight of his sins. Sins he would never be able to seek absolution for.

Shaking himself, he began to wonder how much longer he could sit back and watch this travesty unfold. Even if it was "all part of the plan". The team was beginning to catch wind of her dependence on him, but to let them know how deep it ran would be suicide for them both. Truthfully, having anything to do with her outside of cordial civility would cause the growing rift in the X-mansion to erupt in an all out war. All that mattered to him was that Jubilee came through it unscathed.

Right now she was safe. Currently spending her days with the good doctor in the medlab. Even she knew that remaining in her room during the day would give the others an excuse to come knocking. Nights, though, were spent in her room.

Gambit had taken to sleeping during the day and slipping into her room in the evening, climbing through her window from the roof. Though so many would get the wrong idea, he had done nothing to be ashamed of. Pulling up that overstuffed chair, he would watch her for a few hours while she slept. When the nightmares came, he would soothe her back to a dreamless slumber. Never would she talk about anything, but his whispered reassurances and gentle contact seemed to keep her grounded in reality. It was easier to get her to sleep when she knew she didn't have to fight her demons off alone.

Leaving was always the hardest part. Like some deft vampire, he always fled before the sun came up, but never before letting her know when he had to depart. Knowing that the simple act of watching him leave would keep her from being so disoriented when she became fully alert.

It bothered him because he could have made so much more progress if his presence was accepted within the mansion. She was beginning to open up more, yet every time he had to give up her care to someone else, they both felt the impact. And it was that much harder for her to confide in him…or anyone else.

Henry had made it a point of getting to her early in the morning, within an hour of his leave. She was guarded then. Putting forth a hardened bravado that masked her fears. But after only a few hours with the Beast, she displayed a familiar kindness that she didn't demonstrate to anyone else. Himself included.

He wasn't going to be able to keep her hidden for much longer, though, now that Jean had learned what was going on. Keeping her condition hidden from the telepath had been no easy feat, and he supposed they had Xavier to thank for that. Unfortunately for them, she was now in the loop. And any interference on his part would only lead to more trouble than it was worth.

The way Gambit figured, there were only two ways this could end. Jubilee would either run towards Xavier's offer or away from it and everyone else. Either way he would follow. Let the others think whatever the hell they wanted. He had other ways of getting even than by kicking their collective asses. No sense in going hand to hand if she wanted to remain underground.

So what if they wanted him dead? He oughta return the favor by listing the X-men as deceased in every government database he could get his hands on. The equivalent of an electronic middle finger. Of course, that would only be after he'd had a little fun at their expense. He couldn't wait to see Drake's face when he got picked up for prostitution and aggravated assault charges. Or the pure wrath of Warren when he found out who had frozen and drained his private accounts. Fighting from a distance was a specialty of his, and he had learned from the best the Guild had to offer. They didn't call him a jack of all trades for nothing.

Only when Jubilee no longer needed him would he would have his real revenge.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: Punching In A Dream<strong>

**Song Suggestion: Punching In A Dream - The Naked and Famous**

Shadows fell across the room, moving of their own accord. Blending with the images of her dreams. Early morning light from her unlocked window spilled across the floor, making the dark fluctuations appear more prominent. Sinister even. From somewhere in between dreaming and waking, Jubilee heard a sound which brought her to a state of heightened lucidity.

Something had scraped against the carpet. Like a door opening. There was no knock. No warning. No time to react to the footsteps silently padding towards her like they had a right to be there. Trapped within her mind, there was nowhere she could run. Her eyes flitted back and forth beneath the lids, opening to slits as she tried to make sense of the shadows around her.

For a moment she saw nothing but a black void. Until out of the blurriness arose a solitary figure looming over her. Immediately, she felt a pull on her mind, a whisper to open her thoughts to whatever it was standing there. Instinctively, her mind closed itself off earning what felt like a psychic reprimand.

The figure was clearly not pleased. Another pull tugged at what little energy she had left. Then a whisper reverberated across her senses, telling her that everything would be alright. She had heard those words before. But never had she believed them. Darkness consumed her heart. The lengthening shadows of the early morning reaching out like limbs to choke her into the waking world. It was all she could do to control herself as her eyelids snapped wide open and a startled burst of fireworks shot out of her fingertips, sending whatever it was toppling away from her.

A surprised shriek echoed across the walls. The chicken soup which had been firm in the figure's grip went flying everywhere. Dripping down the fiery red strands of one bewildered telekinetic who lay sprawled out on the floor, stunned but not unconscious.

Before Jubilee even had time to process what she had done, Betsy and Rogue had come skidding to a halt in the open doorway. Both fully prepared to inflict damage on whoever had interrupted their all too precious sleep.

Fortunately for their would-be attacker, there was no need for such punishment. Betsy, ever the first to realize that there was no immediate threat, haughtily rolled her eyes and stalked back to her bedroom, muttering something about having better things to do than play wet nurse. She didn't even bother to examine any of the images that flashed across her mind. They were simply not her problem.

Rogue was left standing in the doorway, debating whether to intervene on Jubilee's behalf. Caught in a mixture of annoyance and relief, the Southern belle quietly bit back her reaction and entered quietly, pulling Jean to her feet. Sparing Jubilee a sympathetic glance, she left the redhead to the business of picking soup out of her hair and gathering it telekinetically back into the bowl.

The buxom beauty glided past her to the bed, perching herself gracefully on the edge closest to Jubilee's face. Reaching out with a gloved hand, she smoothed the hair away from Jubilee's forehead with a sisterly touch. Consumed as she was with her own self importance, she still had a trace of compassion towards the young Asian. Something that couldn't be said for many members of the team.

Jubilee noted the concern, but didn't trust it at all. Rogue wasn't the same big sister figure she had grown up with. Time had come between them. And they both knew it. It had left them wiser, more cynical, and certainly not the same people they once were. Although Jubilee had grown up the hard way, she still had some inkling of who she used to be. But not Rogue. Over the years her personality had been transformed from a bold, brash belle to a self righteous Southerner hiding behind a thin veneer of sympathy.

"Jubes, maybe it's time yah talk tah the Professah. I know yah just want tah be left alone, but we can all tell somethin's not quite right with yah."

A scowl creeped across the younger woman's face. It was no secret that Rogue was less than happy about Gambit's involvement in this little fiasco. Jubilee was quite sure that Rogue would be more than happy to have her go running to the Professor instead of taking up time with her Cajun lapdog.

Flinching back, Jubilee settled back on the bed wishing for the two women to be gone. Really, she should be so lucky. She felt like death warmed over. For the first time, her hands were starting to get some type of feeling in them. Of course she was too busy trying to guard her mind against the two intruders to pay them any attention.

Jean would start probing any minute. And all Rogue had to do was accidently brush against her skin and her life would be over. If Jean convinced Rogue to do it on purpose, she would have no choice but to fight. An act which definitely wouldn't end in her favor.

Flippantly she responded to Rogue's initial plea, being careful to not bring up any sore subjects. "Yes, I got jumped. But there's nothing to talk about unless you'd like to play twenty questions. In which case, you should ask Bobby. Apparently he knows more about it than I do."

"Don't be like that Jubes. We all know Bobby likes tah talk, but can yah blame him? He's been worried sick, jes like the rest of us.

"Remind me to personally thank Iceboy for his trouble. A close encounter with a space heater oughta do the trick." She mumbled.

"C'mon Jubes. Yah know he means well. 'Sides, yah've got nothin' tah be ashamed of. We all make mistakes that cost us a few scrapes. Happens tah the best of us."

"Says Miss Indestructible." Jubilee let the words slip out before she could catch herself.

Rogue opened her mouth to retort, but Jean quickly stepped in and pulled her aside. Unaware that Jubilee could pick up every word being said.

The two women spoke in hushed tones as close to the door as possible.

"_Let me try to talk with her." _Jean advised._ "She's angry. As she should be. After all, we've all been rather absorbed in our own lives."_

"_Jest look at her Jean! Bobby wasn't lyin'! Ah jest…" _Rogue stumbled over what to say. She wanted to help, but this was clearly deeper than she was willing to go._ "How can we help her if she won't let us near her?"_

"_We should all know by now that it's not uncommon for Jubilee to act out when she feels ignored. She just needs the attention we haven't been able to give her lately." _

"_If yah say so_." Rogue answered, clearly unsure if that was really all the situation required.

"_It would be best if she could hear what the rest of the team has to say to her. So she can see how much we all still care." _

"_Yah're probably right. I'll try tah get everyone gathered in the rec room. Jest call when yah're ready. _

"_Thank you Marie. I know this won't be easy. For any of us. I just hope she sees that we have her best interests at heart."_

"_Ah'm sure she will. It'll jes take time. That's all."_

The two women glanced over at Jubilee warily before Rogue broke contact and stepped out the door.

Jubilee was pointedly staring at the wall, trying her best to appear lost in her own thoughts. In reality, her mind was reeling. Something was definitely going on. And she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to know what. It had just occurred to her that this was the first time anyone had come into her room without permission. Even Jean had the sense to call out to her first. It was like they were trying to take her unaware. And judging from the conversation, the whole team was in on it. _Perfect._

Rogue took her leave as Jean came back towards Jubilee, this time keeping her distance. "Jubilee, I know you're angry with us. But you need to talk about what's been happening with you.

"You're the one who came in here, guns blazing. Why don't you tell me what you've found out so far?"

"I may be a mind reader, but I have no way of knowing how to help you if you won't let me in."

"There are some things you're better off not knowing."

"Such as?"

"Look Jean…I know you mean well. But is there any way this conversation can wait? I mean, you'd probably be a little loopy too if you got ambushed...so maybe you could give me some time to recuperate before you probe into my psyche with all of these questions." She tried to sound convincingly sweet, but was sure she had failed miserably.

Jean didn't look enthused. "I'm afraid this conversation can't be put off any longer. You've had all the time in the world to recuperate Jubilee. In the six months that you've been back, you haven't answered one of my questions. Now you sneak out, get hurt, and try to cover it up from all of us for three weeks. Three! I realize we've been preoccupied, but did you really think we wouldn't catch on?"

"I just wanted to buy some time until I figured out what to do." It wasn't entirely a lie.

"And have you decided?"

"No." Jubilee admitted, knowing that if everyone knew about her getting jumped, then they must know about where the Professor wanted to send her. Just not who with. The thought brought a small smirk to her face. Scott would have a cow. "I'm assuming you want to convince me to take the bait and go. That's why you're here isn't it?"

Jean raised an eyebrow. She certainly hadn't been expecting an attack on her approach. "It's not just me. The entire team has some things they want to share with you. We thought maybe it would help you make your decision."

For a second Jubilee considered panicking. Like throwing up a flash bomb and making a break for it kind of panicking. She knew very well what the others thought of her (thanks to clipped information from Gambit, who felt she had a right to know). The returning members wanted her gone. The others who had all but raised her were concerned about having to watch her back as well as their own. A quick merciful death would have been too much to ask for after they were through with her. She might as well just go ahead and retire her uniform.

Deep down, though, she knew that facing the truth was the best thing for her. It would give her the strength she needed to end this miserable charade.

Ever composed, she breathed in silent resignation. "At least whatever they have to say will be to my face this time." It was the nicest thing she could bring herself to say after seeing Jean's troubled expression.

There was no way the telepath could argue with her either – no matter how much she wanted to convince the young woman that it simply wasn't true. Ever since her recent arrival, Jubilee hadn't been allowed on a single mission, and the others hadn't let her forget it. Pawning her off like she was the ever dreaded kitchen detail and complaining about her behind her back.

Jubilee had been banking on the hope that once Beast figured out what was wrong, she'd be cleared to go back in the field. At first she had been eager because she'd had something to prove. Now she just wanted to make them all eat crow.

"Are you hungry?" Jean's voice interrupted her thoughts, thinking a change of subject was called for. "There's more soup downstairs."

Jubilee wavered between safety and the threat that was apparently waiting for her in the rec room. Her growling stomach answered for her.

Jean chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes. Why don't you come with me to the kitchen and let me fix you a bowl? It'll do you good to get out of this stuffy old room. Just let me contact Hank and have him send up a wheelchair."  
>"I can use my crutches just fine, thanks."<p>

"Jubilee…" Jean started disapprovingly. But before she could say another word the woman had pulled herself into a sitting position and inserted a crutch under each arm. She had gotten quite used to them already, having been forced to use a wheelchair for a week and nearly killing Gambit in the process. If it had been anyone else, they would have been six feet under within a few hours. Gambit, though, was a bit harder to off. And she figured she might just miss him if he wasn't around to annoy the piss out of her.

Honestly, she knew that wasn't even the half of it. But she wasn't going to examine the relationship too closely. It was dangerous enough as it was.

To Jubilee's amazement, not a word was said about her freak use of powers. Jean purposefully kept her mind blank as she offered extra assistance to keep Jubilee upright as she hopped her way down the steps. Jean normally had a chatty nature, always trying to keep the conversation light. This time she refused to be engaged.

Ladling soup into a clean bowl, Jean set the steaming broth down in front of the firecracker as she plopped down in the nearest open chair. Eating as slowly as possible to avoid what she knew was about to happen, Jubilee couldn't help but study the body language of her wannabe mother. There was a suspicious wetness to her sparkling green eyes. Her lips were pressed into a hard thin line. God help her, she looked like she was trying to keep it together for Jubilee's sake. The girl could only hope she wasn't leaking any psychic energy that would make Jean any more emotional than she already was.

Jubilee shook her head to clear it. Why was she suddenly more concerned for Jean's welfare than her own? She was the one about to get blasted out. And it was all the redhead's fault.

"Something wrong?" Jubilee asked, trying to discern the truth from the mind reader's strange expression.

"You might say that."

"What do you mean?"

"Quite frankly, I'm not even sure where to begin. I keep trying to read into your thoughts. Not extract them, mind you. Just listen to the messages you're sending. I thought maybe I could learn what's making you so distant. But you thwart every attempt. It's like you want to suffer silently."

"Is there anything wrong with that?"

"When it's affecting everyone around you, then yes. We can't afford to let you carry on like you've been doing. It's creating unnecessary tension within the team."

"You knew it would be like this when I came."

"I thought you would open up given the time. But it's just the opposite. You've completely shut us down. I just don't know what to do to make things right for you."

"Maybe it's just something I've got to do for myself." Jubilee hinted cryptically.

"That's just it. You've been by yourself for so long. It's like you've forgotten how to be part of this team. A team that cares for you."

Jubilee snorted in spite of herself. If you all care so much, then why am I being sent away? AGAIN?"

"It's for your own good. You may not see that now, but you will eventually. And maybe one day, when you're ready, we can welcome you back as a willing member."

"Oh, of course! Let's not forget, my will has everything to do with it. It is still my choice to leave right? I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm about to get my ass handed to me by teammates who never wanted me to come back in the first place."

"You won't know what the others are thinking unless you hear them out. It may not be like what you're assuming."

"Puh-leaze! You honestly think I can't hear what's being said behind my back?"

"Sweetheart..." Jean started, but then thought better of it. "Did you ever think that maybe the others are just frustrated because they don't know how to approach you?"

"You're right Red. Really, what was I thinking?" Jubilee smacked herself in the forehead. "Obviously I'm reading way too much into things. I'm sure everyone is just too busy ignoring me to notice my cries for help. Which is why I had to go out and get beat up…so you guys would wake up and start paying attention to me! I mean, there's like absolutely no other explanation!"

The redhead's eyes narrowed slightly. Jubilee could practically see the wheels turning in her head. "How did you…?"

"I have ears Jean!"

"But I was speaking to Rogue telepathically."

Jubilee was silent for a few moments before asserting that it really didn't matter anyway. All that mattered was that she was about to hear the truth for the first time in six months. And her little world was about to be shattered.

Maybe she should have just left when she had the chance. But she wanted everyone to be pushed to their breaking point. Then it would all be out in the open. No more secrets. No more whispers behind her back. No more lying to her face. She was going to force every last one of them to tell her the truth that no one thought she could handle.

Jean, for her part, was uncharacteristically silent. Finally, she asserted, "It was only a theory."

"You seem to have a lot of them."

"Well, when people are left out in the cold, it gives them a lot of time to ponder the possibilities."

"I suppose this gives the others an excuse to tell me what they've come up with as well?"

"I see that you have it all figured out, and that there's no need for me to sugarcoat it for you." Jean said with just a hint of sarcasm as she coaxed Jubilee out of her chair. "Just hear us out Jubilee. That's all I ask." She stated before escorting Jubilee away from the kitchen and down the hall to meet her fate.

* * *

><p>French Translations<p>

La femme – the woman


	14. Je Realise

**Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.**

**Song Suggestion: Je Realise - James Blunt feat. Sinik**

Jubilee stumbled into the rec room, glaring at the redhead who had given her reluctant feet a telekinetic push forward. Thanks to the meddlesome mind reader, making a break for it was no longer an option. Without so much as raising her head, she scanned the room taking note of everyone who had decided to grace this little affair with their presence.

Betsy and Warren were situated on the sofa looking bored. Bobby sat beside them, mumbling to himself as if he were practicing some stupid speech. Beast was perched a few feet away on a stool, trying to keep his expression light and cheery for her sake while Cecilia stood at his side, one hand placed on his shoulder for support.

Moving her view in an arc across the room, her gaze fell over Marrow. Her lips rising in a hidden snarl as she registered the barely concealed glee on the bony girl's face. Cannonball sat on the floor in front of the psychotic Morlock looking downright confused, while Bishop hulked menacingly in the corner looking extremely uncomfortable. Within seconds, Rogue, Joseph, and Gambit rounded out the parade of X-men, entering the room at the last minute – Gambit looking as if he had been dragged by force.

Giving a quick acknowledgment to Rogue's suspicious eyes, Jubilee lifted her head high and strode purposefully into the room. Stopping right in front of the man who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than dealing with his on-again/off-again lover and a furious firecracker.

Channeling as much hatred as was humanly possible, she stared straight into the red on black eyes of the only person who had dared to earn her respect. The Acadian unashamedly probed back into Jubilee's molten irises. The silent standoff dragged on until sensing what she was about to do, he moodily broke off contact. Glaring at the wall instead of her. The heat in his gaze could have put Logan's to shame.

Taking a seat as far away from him as possible, she plopped herself down with more attitude than she currently possessed . She only hoped that the others got the message loud and clear. After all, she was projecting loud enough to wake the dead. Jean and Betsy had actually winced at her telepathic screams that she was done with the Cajun and he should have minded his own damn business.

She knew Gambit would pick up on the black hole that was beginning to spiral out of control. Better to let him think it was aimed at him. Though it wouldn't have killed her any less if someone had ripped out her spleen and fed it to her. Out of everyone, Gambit was the one person she couldn't blame. But the time had passed where she could show any type of gratitude. Maybe, just maybe he would understand why she couldn't let him take the fall with her. Her eyes stung, but she held back the single tear that threatened to leak out. She couldn't fuck it up now.

Cyclops leveled her with a steady gaze, casting a meaningful glance at Jean who ever so slightly shook her head. Apparently she hadn't caved like they'd hoped, rendering this little intervention unnecessary. Well, if they expected Jubilation Lee to give in just like that, she might as well give them the performance of a lifetime.

She turned her eyes impatiently to Cyclops who towered above them all in the center of the room, taking his usual place next to Xavier's wheelchair. The clearing of his throat marking the beginning of the torture. "Alright people, I think we all know why we're here. Rogue and Jean should have filled everyone in by now. Before we begin, though, I believe the Professor has a few words to say."

A swish of air sounded as Xavier hovered to the center of the room, commanding the attention and respect of everyone there. "Thank you Scott. I wish to start by saying that I have a great deal of love and respect for all of you. We have come together after all of these years not only as a team, but as a family. Yet, too often we deal with our sorrows and problems on our own. Which only leads us to separation and encourages a lack of compassion for the trials that each of us face. We have all had our share of hard luck and bad situations. But it is time that we come together and face it as one. Now is not the time to turn our backs on one another or to let fear and hurt come between us. My only wish is that you would see each other as I see you. If not for your own sake, then for the sake of this team." Xavier paused to let the words sink in. "Time is a precious commodity. Let us not waste it with acts of hatred."

"The Professor's right." Cyclops interjected after a weighted silence. "In light of recent events, I think it's high time that we address some things which have been causing serious problems. First off, we don't have time for personal vendettas. We can't allow our pasts to interfere with the job we have to do on the field. Every member is important when there are civilian lives at stake. We simply don't have time -"

"I thought we were here for the girl." Marrow's throaty voice cut through Scott's soliloquey. "Not a slap on the wrist for demanding justice."

Xavier responded in kind. "We are here to come together as a family. I have taken you in and given you a place in my school, but that does not give you free reign to interfere with my efforts to create a safe haven for _all_ of my students."

The bone that Marrow was toying with dropped to the carpet with a menacing thud. "Whatever you say _Professor_." The edge in her voice was laced with venom, yet she had the sense to know when she was in over her head. There was no move to interrupt further.

Cyclops picked back up, unphased in the slightest. "After speaking with the Professor and Jean, we've decided that the best course of action is for everyone to participate in mandatory team building sessions in addition to regular training. The Professor and Jean will also conduct individual psychic scans so that we can get to the root of all personal issues that are interfering with the team."

A collective groan resounded as the room erupted in a series of mutters, curses, and multiple death threats. Scott ignored them all.

"As X-men, we all have obligations. And I won't let individual grudges interfere with that. I, for one, am going to make sure that we operate in the most effective way possible. That means sacrifices will have to be made for the good of the team and for the sake of your teammates. If anyone has a problem with that, then you're saying you have a problem with your fellow mutants. None of us are perfect, but we're fighting a war. And if we turn on each other, there'll be no one to carry on the legacy that we fight for. We're all that we've got. So if you want out, there's the door."

Cyclops took a moment to survey the room, looking pointedly at a few people. Marrow was the only person who didn't have the common decency to look the least bit ashamed. She wasn't about to change her dogmatic ways, but she also knew she didn't have any other option with Callisto gone and the Morlocks scattered to the winds.

Throwing a scathing look in Jubilee's direction, the Asian responded by sticking her tongue out. Marrow took out a bone and made a slitting motion with her throat, unbeknowst to anyone else.

There was now some question in Jubilee's mind as to whether this meeting would fulfill her expectations. If they turned on Marrow, she would be forced to reevaluate her family's loyalties as well as her own. Unfortunately, luck was not on her side. Nor had it ever been. Scott turned the conversation to her before current events caused the room's occupants to turn on each other.

"There are a lot of things that need to be said between us. And make no mistake, they will be said...or fought out in the danger room. Either way, they will be dealt with" Scott's visor flashed in warning to those who would question this fact. "But today is not about that. We are here to focus on one person and to provide support."

He turned to face Jubilee, who had the sense to look mortified. "Jubilee, I want you to know that this entire team cares about you and only wants what's best for you. But we're all concerned that you need to take some time off to recuperate. As we understand it, the Professor has arranged a place for you at Muir Island. We can't make the decision for you. However, everyone is here so that you can understand how your decisions affect the team as a whole."

Jubilee raised a delicate eyebrow but amazingly controlled her mouth. An uninterrupted truth would be better than getting upset over half of the things that would be left unsaid if she lost it.

So she put on her game face and fixed Cyclops with questioning eyes. "So…all that stuff the Professor said…about not dealing with stuff on our own…I don't understand how sending me off helps fulfill that dream."

"That's why we're here now. To help you 'deal' and make an important decision. We've come to realize that you need something more than what the team can give you. You have to realize that we, as your adopted family, have an obligation to you. And right now you need targeted attention and a focus on healing. We'll be there for you every step of the way. Muir Island has state of the art communication, so don't think that just because you're not at the mansion that you'll be cut off from us."

Jubilee tried her best to look placating, although she knew that "being there" would include a barrage of phone calls that would taper off the minute she didn't appear to be "losing it". With a great amount of effort, she projected thoughts filled with hope. Jean sensed the shift in her mood and took it as an encouraging sign. Gambit, however, wouldn't look her way at all. He simply refused to watch her play the part she had come to hate.

Cyclops was none the wiser. "I'm saying this because lately, we've all been worried about you. We know you've had some...issues…with your powers and it's been affecting your performance. Surely, we all know how frustrating it is to not be allowed in the field. But we never dreamed you would take matters into your own hands and actively seek a fight with Friends of Humanity just to prove your value to the team! It's no secret that your behavior is becoming increasingly erratic…"

Jubilee bit back a few choice words. _Bobby deserved way worse than a space heater for spreading such garbage. _They didn't know her at all if they thought she would actively choose to have those mutant hating racists focus their stupidity on her just because she was upset with the team. She may have been itching for a fight, but she had put the X-men first, not wanting to do anything that would draw unnecessary attention to them. And it hadn't been because of some misplaced sense of self-worth.

But her tone betrayed nothing of her anger. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do." She implored, egging their fearless leader on with his sentiments. "You wouldn't even let me in the danger room. And I thought I could handle a couple of lousy thugs on my own. I figured if I broke up one little faction, you'd have to let me come with you guys fer sure." _If only Wolverine could hear her now…big surprise he didn't show._

"There are other ways to go about letting us know how you feel." Cyclops reassured her with a gentler tone. "Going vigilante isn't the way to prove yourself. We work together as a team. If you want to be a part of it, you have to let us know what's going on."

"I didn't think anyone would understand." She stole a glance at Gambit and Beast to prove her point. Beast was troubled at the thought, clearly unsure as to what to think. Gambit, on the other hand, was harboring a murderous expression. Though it only shone through in his eyes, leaving his face otherwise unreadable. Not that it mattered what anyone else thought, but just knowing that one person believed in her made this all the more bearable.

"I think you'd be surprised." Cyclops answered, drawing her attention back to him. "You have a lot of friends here, and I think you'd be interested to hear how your attitude is affecting them. Bobby's your best friend and he's really been having a hard time with this." He turned to look in Iceman's general direction before adding "I hope you'll consider his side of things."

"Uh…right." Bobby stuttered, obviously out of his element. "Jubes, you know we all love you. And we want what's best for you. I just hope you know you can trust us." He looked at her imploringly, if not a bit accusingly. "You can trust me." He affirmed. "I've known you better than anybody and I can tell when you're joking around and when you're serious. And ever since you got back, you've been keeping to yourself and shutting me out. It's kinda been a downer. Which means that something must really be wrong. You used to be all sunshine and fireworks…and now you're just, I dunno…depressed! I miss my partner in crime. I miss being able to talk to you about anything and everything. I wish you would open up and just tell me what's wrong so I could help. I know I screwed up back there, but I also realize that maybe I'm just not the person you need right now. Maybe this Muir Island really is a good place. I mean, it's not like you won't come back right? But maybe they can help you deal with whatever's buggin' ya. So we can get the old you back." He broke off then, the words catching in his throat. Leaning back, he once again became quiet, his eyes intently focused on Jubilee's reaction.

She wanted so badly to roll her eyes right back at him, but something stopped her. As aggravated as she was with Bobby, he didn't deserve this. He was caught up in the hype of the team, and didn't really have anyone to help him cope with it either. He cracked jokes to lighten the mood for everyone, and it had done its part in keeping up the team's spirits. Really, it's not like he was a bad guy. Even if he did have warped opinions. Still, he did have her best interests at heart. In fact, he was just as protective as Wolverine when it came to the people he loved, so obviously he would feel threatened if someone violated that sanctity. It still didn't give him an excuse to act like an idiot.

Resisting the urge to punch him for being so stupid, she allowed the tears to run down her cheeks and began setting him up for the only question she had any interest in knowing. "I know I can trust you Bobby. I guess I just made an…error…in judgment." Her stomach twisted as she forced herself to spit out the rest. "I wish to God I could turn back time and make things go back to the way they were. But I can't. I don't even know what happened to make me this way. But you're my best friend Bobby. I need your support. And I need your honest opinion. What's happening to me? What's making me feel like this?"

"Jubilee, I don't think that's a fair question…" Jean started.

"NO! It's a great question. No one wants to talk about it but somebody freakin' needs to." Bobby shot back.

"Talk about what?" Jubilee asked as innocently and pitifully as she could manage.

Bobby rushed ahead. "C'mon Jubes, it's no secret that Wolverine's been an ass lately. Sure you had problems with this Bastian guy, but every time I tried to bring up how bad you were letting it get to you, he totally bailed. Said you could handle it on your own. But the truth is, I don't think you can. I think you just had a really hard time dealing with some of the stuff that's happened, and now you need a break to process everything. It's not a big deal. Not everyone handles the problems that come with being an X-man in the same way. Sure we're always getting kidnapped, shot at, framed, ambushed, robbed, attacked by the craziest people the galaxy has to offer…"

"Bobby!" Cyclops snapped him back to attention. "Get to the point."

"Right! Anyways, I'm just saying it's a lot to handle. And in order to be an X-man you have to be able to deal with that kind of stuff without breaking down."

_Real smooth Bobster. Way to win me over. Make me out to be a basketcase. _"You think it's just a nervous breakdown? That I'll get over it?" She asked, inflecting her voice in a hopeful tone.

"Of course Jubes! It's nothing to be ashamed of. Right Rogue? I mean Carol Danvers took over your head and Jean helped you through it and everything came out just fine."

"Thank yah Bobby for bringing that up again." Rogue bit out through gritted teeth and a forced smile. Finally she composed herself and carried the weight of the conversation. "Bobby, _tactless as he is_, has ah point Jubes. We all have our issues. Some jest take more tahme tah sort out. Muir Island ain't such a bad thang sugah. It'll give yah a chance to relax. Take a vacation from this place."

"I never thought about it like that." She sniffed.

"Well yah should. Lord knows we have enough tah deal with without throwin' personal issues into the mix. Ah don't mean – it's jest there's a lot tah take in here, and it ain't easy tah deal with all tha stress if yer head ain't sorted out. Take it from someone who knows."

"You really think I can't handle it?" Her lips curled into a pretty pout, causing Rogue to look about as uncomfortable as Bishop. "Sugah, no one could handle it in yer position. Yah're so young! Yah should enjoy it! It jest ain't fair tah ask yah tah deal with everything we take on here."

At this point Betsy interjected and Marrow's grin grew even more sadistic. "To put it bluntly my dear, you have a few years left until you're in the big leagues. Perhaps you should follow the example of your classmates. After all, they seem to have all made lives for themselves doing very commendable things. Angelo and Jono are in L.A. as I understand it. Sam's sister has been instrumental in establishing a mutant outreach program. And Monet, who is perhaps a bit better suited to this lifestyle given her upbringing, is working with a detective agency. They are waiting to take on all that is required of them. The question is why are you so ready to take on this responsibility when you can't even handle what little has been put upon you?"

"Little?" Jubilee repeated, dumbfounded. She could have sworn she heard a soft swear coming from Gambit's general direction.

"Hang around the X-men long enough and you'll see what I mean. A mere kidnapping and insignificant spar are just the beginning. You can't say you've truly lived until you've fought your way to an early grave only to be brought back from the dead staring yourself in the face."

"But…" Jubilee forced her face into a confused frown. "Eventually you're gonna get old. What about the other students in the school? How are you gonna train them to take over and deal with the stuff you think I can't handle?"

"That is Xavier's concern. Not mine. Not yours. At least until the time comes when we are ordered to start training them. Then again, judging from the looks of things, you could stand some training yourself. It is apparent that you were not the victor in your recent tiff. Which isn't surprising considering we've all had to waste time watching your back in the danger room. Frankly, it's exhausting and unnecessary."

"Betsy, please…" Jean begged.

Betsy tossed her head in response. "I am not in the business of babysitting. I'm not going to hold back because I'm afraid of hurting what little feeling she has left. She needs to know the truth. Maybe then her little ego can be taken down a notch and the real work can begin."

"What work?" Jubilee bit out, genuinely curious.

"Your attitude for one thing. Maybe you could start with that." Angel threw in. "You seem to have a knack for expressing opinions on situations you have no experience in."

_Well looks like mine isn't the only bruised ego around here… _"I have just as much insight as anyone else thank you very much. Just because I'm not some blue-blood original X-man, you all think I'm a few french fries short of a happy meal. Here I am trying to point out a couple of things that nobody else has the balls to say. But does anyone around here listen to me? Nooooo!

"I rest my case." Warren seethed.

Jubilee however persisted, locking on her target. "Puh-leaze. You never liked me because I just happened to point out the fact that all you do is brood. You never had anyone's back except Psylocke's and any time there's the teeniest little argument, you're smack dab in the middle pointing fingers."

"Jubilee, that's quite enough." Professor X said sharply, quelling her rage.

Warren leaned forward until he was staring her down. Ignoring the Professor to calm his words, he let loose with what had been a long time in coming. "As far as I'm concerned, you insignificant brat, Xavier has spoiled you rotten. Always letting you into places you have no buisness being. The only real weapon you possess is your horrid little mouth. Not that you know how to use it considering you have no respect for your elders, nor for yourself. You should welcome the chance you've been given. Perhaps Moira can teach you a thing or two about manners so that you will refrain from making a nuisance of yourself when you return. _If_ you return."

Cyclops was too busy massaging the bridge of his nose to intervene. The fights between Jubilee and Warren occurred too regularly for him to be all that concerned. But this was getting ugly. He had specifically asked Warren to tone it down. He should have known this wasn't going to turn out the way he had planned.

"That is not for you to decide Warren." The Professor scolded. "Do you have anything of value to add? If not, we will not linger on this subject."

"There's nothing else to say." Warren huffed. "Except perhaps that she needs to be committed."

"And you all think_ I'm _the one with the chip on my shoulder." Jubilee mumbled to no one in particular.

"Understandably, we have a lot to overcome in order to understand and work with each others' perceived weaknesses. Surely you two can find some strengths to focus on as well."

"Well, he is a non-putrid shade of blue…"

"And she has ditched that appalling travesty of a canary yellow trenchcoat." Warren spat, after being all but forced by Jean, Betsy, and Rogue.

A chill passed through Jubilee at Warren's hostility. It wasn't so much the fact that he despised her so much his offhand remark about her wardrobe. Her clothing had once been an expression of who she was, and he had forced her to question that very issue. Did she even know who she was without the X-men to define her?

Beast took note of her confusion, and attempted to pacify the situation. "Speaking as one who has known Jubilation for quite some time, may I speak on her behalf?"

"Certainly Hank! The floor is yours." Xavier enthused, grateful for the change of subject.

"I have come to grow quite fond of our resident firecracker. I may not have the sparkling wit of some of our members, but I fancy myself to be a generally good judge of character. And as I have recently observed, our Jubilee has rather a conflicted one. On the one hand, she wishes to fit in here and make a place for herself. On the other hand, she knows that there are things which she must face internally, with or without the support of her friends. Whether or not she faces them in one setting or another is irrelevant. I believe that any decision she makes will be in her best interest. I really don't believe there is any need to threaten her into making it." He glanced casually at Betsy and Warren.

"I could not agree more. That was certainly not the intent of this discussion." Xavier quickly spurred the conversation onward. "Perhaps someone else has something productive to offer? Joseph? Gambit?"

Xavier's eyes fell on Remy who looked as calm and collect as ever. One would never know an internal debate was raging within him. Should he blow la femme's cover and expose this ridiculous game for what it was or let the others keep pushing their biases onto her and help her make a decision that would ultimately kill her?

Her plan was genious really. By reverting back to the role of a teenager, she had confirmed how truly self-absorbed this "family" was. Not only that, she had made her death wish that much more apparent. The woman was honestly trying to get the team to give her an excuse to kill herself. She was trying to make it look like it was just the stress of the situation when she was really just protecting them from being exposed to enemies because of what she knew and she was capable of. Whether or not the rape even factored in as anything more than a catalyst was something he hadn't been able to discern. But now that this chain of events had been set in to motion, there was nothing he could say to her now to get it to stop.

He had to let her make her own decisions and be there despite the consequences. Otherwise, he would be in danger of controlling her fate, just like everyone else. Let Jubilee play whatever head games she wanted. He would be there when it counted.

Making the difficult call that whatever happened was now up to Jubilee, he quietly spoke up. "Gambit not gonna be a part o' dis. De woman know how ta make her own decisions." With that, he turned on his heel and left the room.

Rogue stood to chase after Gambit, as Joseph held his hand out to stop her. Not that it did any good. She snatched her arm away and flew out of the room. Leaving Joseph alone to hold up his hand in negation when Xavier turned to him.

The Professor seemed troubled at this reaction but said nothing. He then turned to the remaining X-men. "Marrow? Bishop? Sam?"

Bishop cleared his throat rather abruptly before Marrow could jump in for the kill. "I think the point has been made." He stated authoritatively. He didn't know a lot about human emotions, but judging from Jubilee's drooping shoulders and weary expression, he could tell the girl had had just about enough.

"Very well then. Jubilee we will leave you to make your decision. I will meet you in my office in a few hours to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, Henry will escort you to your room."

Jubilee knew good and well that she had just isolated the few people who'd held her in any esteem. Particularly the only one that mattered. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach as everyone went their separate ways. Bobby lingered, but the Professor's hand on his back told him that now was not the time. As soon as it was just her and Beast left, she allowed herself to feel the stress as it overtook her body. Her legs collapsed underneath her as massive tremors shot through her torso and limbs. Tears burned behind her eyes, but she struggled to keep them bound. Until in a rare moment of weakness, she could contain them no longer and broke out sobbing into Hank's fur as he picked her up in his massive arms and carried her upstairs.


	15. Weapon

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.

Chapter 14

**Song Suggestions:**

**Part One: Weapon – Matthew Good Band**

**Part Two: Foolish - Ashanti**

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><p><strong>Part One: Weapon<br>**

As soon as her feet hit familiar ground, the pent up energy Jubilee had been holding back exploded. The feisty Asian kicked out of her protector's grasp and began hammering her fists into the closest thing she could find. The wall bore the brunt of her hatred as she kicked and spit, cursing everyone in her path.

It took a few moments for Beast to respond, though really the only thing the troubled man could do was pull her back against his chest and hold her in a firm grip until her temper subsided. It was apparent that she didn't want his help, yet she wasn't particularly resistant to his intervention. Almost as if she were hoping someone could stop her from losing all sense of control.

Though such subconscious wishes did not nothing to interfere with her tirade. She went on punching and kicking until finally Beast was forced to use his massive muscles to pin in her arms so tight she couldn't move. Finally exhausting herself, the girl went slack and suddenly collapsed backwards, knocking them both to the ground. A colossal feat for a girl who only weighed one hundred and thirty-eight pounds.

Blinking back a few stars, Beast reached out to his companion with a massive paw, hefting the both of them back to their feet. Jubilee allowed herself to be pulled to a standing position. Then abruptly turned away from him, shoulders convulsing in time to her heartbreak.

The room was spinning now, and it was all she could do to stay upright. Grasping at the wall next to her, she leaned her forehead against the cool plaster. Letting the reality of her situation sink in. She really was going to leave all of this behind. End her life and make sure she could never harm her family because of some murderous psychopath hellbent on trying to manipulate what little control she had left.

She had spent most of her free time thinking about how everyone would react to her death. She knew it wasn't fair to any of them. But neither was expecting her to relive that nightmare in Bastian's cell every time she closed her eyes. Or to repeat it with future villian of the year recipients.

The price of being an X-man wasn't more than she could handle. But the price of knowing all of their secrets and being responsible for their deaths was. There was no way they would understand why it had to end like this. And they would either blame themselves, or blame her. She hoped it was the latter.

As much as she loathed their reaction and despised the fact that they were frickin' clueless, she knew exactly what she was doing. And she also knew she would be missed. Or at the very least mourned. Even if it was the old Jubilee they were pining for. That alone mattered to her more than anything else in the world.

The sound of a clearing throat reverberated, bringing her back to the present. She had no idea Beast was even still in the room. The gentle reminder served to make her decision all the more real to her. Much to Beast's surprise, he caught her midstep as she spun herself around and flung herself against his shaggy blue fur. Her sobs conveying how truly sorry she was.

Beast was stunned to say the least. He certainly wasn't expecting such a drastic change in attitude. She had seemed so contrite and exhausted downstairs, and now she acted as if she were getting ready to fight the final battle with Apocalypse himself.

Reaching over to pat her head, he tried his best to soothe the girl, letting her know that he didn't blame her for her outburst. After all, she had been through so much that it was a miracle she was even here fighting it out with them.

Looking down at his foster daughter, he watched in wonder as she craned her neck to look him in the face. The words spilling out of her mouth with more authentic emotion than he had ever seen emitted by her.

"Tell me the truth. Have I really caused that many problems? Or are they just looking for someone to blame for all the crap that goes on around here?"

Twisting her head into his fur, she pleaded with him to give her an answer that was worth hearing. And he wished desperately that he had one to give. It was, quite simply, a question which plagued the both of them. Though he would never admit it in her company.

He sighed, placing a paw on top of her tiny head. "My dear Jubilation, you are not the problem. I will admit that things have gotten rather…tense…as of late. But that certainly doesn't make you the root of all evil."

"Then why are they fighting so hard to get rid of me?"

"It is not a question of putting you out. Xavier, Wolverine, Scott, and the others are trying to help you realize who you can be without our influence. I can't say whether they are correct in their actions, but I do know that they are doing what they believe to be right."

"Which is why they're going to banish me from the team and put me through hell if I come back?"

"Removing you entirely off the team is not the purpose. The purpose is to give you an opportunity to grow. If I may borrow one of Storm's botanic analogies, uprooting a dying plant is undesirable if one has not purged the weeds that are choking it."

The girl let out a weak laugh. "What does that even mean? That I'm a weed choking the life out of the team?"

Beast gazed sternly ahead, trying to come up with the proper words to explain the team's position. "On the contrary. _We_ are the weeds choking _you_. Has it ever occurred to you that we have been holding you back? Allowing you to take on our problems and fears as your own? And in doing so, caused you to become quite lost within yourself?"

Jubilee shook her head. "I've always known what being an X-man meant. Even at fourteen."

"Perhaps. But are you willing to sacrifice your very sanity to prove it?"

She looked up then, smiling halfheartedly. "I have no sanity left Beast. What you see is what you get."

He looked back just as sternly, believing there was more to her explanation than met the eye. "I do not believe that to be true. I think you want me to believe that so I will not question the true meaning behind your actions."

Jubilee's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "Just know that I never meant to hurt anyone. Even if you all want me gone, I'd give up my life to make sure that you're safe."

"Jubilation…you are hardly of an age to make such a decision."

Jubilee bristled, but smiled knowingly. "And what age were you when you decided this was what you wanted? What age was Jean? Everyone says I'm too young, but I know the price I'm willing to pay."

Beast was astounded at the fire that flashed in her sapphire depths. And the wisdom that they reflected. He had finally met his match. "Will you not atleast speak with Remy? He may be the only one that can penetrate the shields you have erected, apart from Wolverine."

At the mention of their names, Jubilee abrupty released her beloved friend and turned away. Effectively dismissing him. "You don't have to worry about that. Because I'm going to Muir Island. There's just no way in hell I'm coming back."

Catching the mad glint in her eye, Beast slowly began to understand what Gambit had been warning against all along.

"There are other options." He pleaded in earnest, praying that she would see reason. Jubilee, however, was beyond such things.

"Thanks Beast. For everything. But what's done is done. You can tell the Professor I'll meet with him now."

The doctor hesitated, not knowing whether to leave her be or take her hostage and tie her to a bed in the medlab so she couldn't take any drastic action. Why she would go to such lengths to harm herself, and the family she had come to love, was something he himself couldn't fathom. Rape or not. Not wanting to cause her any more anxiety, he backed quietly out of the room to go alert Moira and find the one person who could stop her it was too late.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: Foolish<strong>

Gambit, however, was having problems of his own. He never thought he would find himself trying to pacify a raging Rogue after Jubilee's little performance. The Southern belle was none too happy that he had walked out on the poor girl. Especially now, when she obviously needed advice and support from her family.

Really, what kind of a person was he? That he would abandon a friend who was being sent away for reasons she couldn't begin to understand? And had he seen the look on her face at all the horrible truths that Warren and Betsy had thrown back at her?

On and on she ranted. And just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, she went for the jugular and asked why he hadn't defended her. Acting as if their fellow X-man didn't mean anything at all.

It took everything he had not to lose it. It wasn't like opening up about the situation and bearing his soul to the woman he loved would change anything. Just like it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference if he had called Jubilee out in front of the team. All they'd do is panic and discredit her all over again. Not one of them would understand why she felt the need to take such drastic measures. Or why he'd managed to get as close to her as he did. Rogue, in particular would be greviously hurt at the fact that he couldn't relate to her in the same way he did Jubilee.

So after letting the love of his life wear herself out, he did the one thing he was infamous for. The only thing that made any sense. He lied.

"It not be dat simple Chere. De girl make it clear she not want Gambit's help."

"It doesn't give yah tha right tah walk out on her. She trusts yah. More than any of us. Though I cain't understand why!"

"It just a phase chere. She trust anybody dat show her a little attention."

"Attention." She grunted. "Sure that's all yah been showin' her Swamprat?"

Much as it pained him, he put on a mock pout, hoping to win her over. "Gambit offended you would t'ink otherwise Chere." It did the trick.

Rogue caved. "It's jest yah have no idea how persuasive yah can be when yah're not even tryin'."

This was too easy. She was warming up to his charm already.

"Dat so? Mebbe you need a little demonstration, non?"

Rogue melted as he raked her over with smoldering eyes.

"She's jest a confused kid. Yah shouldn't give her ideas lahke that.." She whispered, thrown off course.

"And what ideas 'dose be?" He murmured, closing the space between them.

"Mmm…Ah could think of a couple…" She sighed, inches from his mouth.

Remy reached out a fully gloved finger, running it down her cheek. Maybe he was finally proving himself to her if she could respond so easily to his casual flirting. Though something told him it was just another trap in the making.

He never quite understood Rogue's reasons for leaving him to die, but wanted to believe the things she had said: that it was because she was so confused and overwhelmed, and he was the one she took it out on, and she regretted it with everything she had. Knowing the sheer horror her powers could inflict, he had never questioned it. He had desperately wanted to believe her when she said she loved him and would do anything to make it up to him. But nine times out of ten, he was the one having to do most of the making up.

It wouldn't have killed him any less if she just told him the truth—that she didn't love him like she used to. At the very least it would have prevented this prolonged power struggle over who was ultimately justified in being right. If he were truly honest with himself, he would have admitted that he was falling out of love with her as well. But he never got the chance to even ponder it as Rogue's lips slid over his own, whispering the four words that shattered the pretense of their entire relationship.

"Mah powers are gone."

He stood there, dazed. Unable to process the words coming out of her succulent mouth. "Come again?"

"Mah powers…" She repeated. "Well…they're not gone…but Beast (god bless his furry blue soul) made this necklace. And it makes 'em go away for a few hours."

"What you sayin' chere?" It sounded stupid, even to him. But there always seemed to be hidden messages behind her words these days.

"What Ah'm saying is Ah can do this." She twined her arms over his shoulders and kissed him roughly, pushing his mouth apart with her fervor. Softening the touch a bit, she slid her lips off of his, catching his bottom one gently in her teeth. "Get the picture?"

"Uh-huh" he managed, before he pressed her against the wall and covered her body with his own. His mouth exploring every inch of exposed skin. This time she responded just as hungrily. Her hands tangling themselves in his loosened hair before roaming down his neck and over his chest. Unable to stand the feel of her gloves any longer Gambit made a grab for her hands and yanked them off, making a delicacy of her exposed fingers in his warm mouth. Once they were returned to her, she made no haste in sliding them underneath his silken shirt.

After years of not being able to touch, it seemed they were finally going to get their chance to shine. The frustration on his part and excuses on hers were gone. He had always tried to deal with her inability to touch. And Lord knows she was always right behind him saying he should be more sensitive because of all they required of her.

Not this time.

They slipped into Rogue's bedroom while hurriedly undressing each other. Overwhelmed by hunger, he didn't bother trying to make the moment last. There would be time enough for that later. His shirt was nearly off now, and she was working on his belt when the ripping of her blouse caused his entire body to go taut. There was a hardness which he couldn't deny himself any longer.

Feeling his pent up urge, Rogue pressed herself against him, massaging into all the right places. With a groan, he dipped his head into her exposed neck, lightly nipping his way to the top of her cleavage and moved to expertly expose her bare breast with a single swipe of his hand. Barely registering the fact that she was moaning something into his ear.

"Wait…" She panted.

Trying hard to hold back for her sake, he exhaled his words against her delicate skin. Skin he had never before been allowed to explore uninhibited.

"Quoi?" He breathed.

"Before we do anything…"

He once again descended upon her throat without much regard for whatever she was uttering.

"I gotta know there's nothing going on between you and Jubilee." She whispered before going to mold her tongue around his ear. Missing by inches as he pulled back.

"P'rdon?" Gambit muttered, his mood slipping a few degrees.

Rogue's eyes fluttered open as she found herself surrounded by a swell of cool air. Gambit's scent was farther from her than it had ever been before. At least it sure felt that way. She tried quickly to explain herself, knowing that she had somehow killed the mood.

"Look, it's not a big deal. She's just gotten a little clingy lately. And I just want to make sure that your focus is where it should be."

"An' where's dat?"

"On me." She smiled seductively, turning his face back to her and lifting her own to meet it.

Gambit didn't return the gesture. Instead, releasing her so that she fell softly back on the bed in her room.

Honestly, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Those two simple words summed up the course of their relationship ever since Antarctica …and even before then. She never asked what he felt—always just assumed that he had something to prove to her. And him, being either devoted or self-sacrificing had gone along with it. Never thinking that his own life meant more than a grain of salt in comparison to hers.

Never once did he ask for her to apologize for leaving him. She kept telling him she had searched for him even when the others wouldn't. As if that would make everything alright. All he heard were excuses for her behavior. And, by now, he knew that honey-laden voice well enough to know when it was being insincere. He should have figured out that this was only a desperate attempt to keep him from leaving again. And here he stood, taking it all in like a fool.

Storm had tried once to warn him about Rogue's fluctuating affections, but he didn't want to believe that Rogue would sink that low just to keep him hanging on a little longer. Bringing up Jubilee, however, was the last straw.

Remy wasn't blind. He knew Rogue had been seeing Joseph while he had been fighting his way out of the cold. But he let it go. She was confused. Didn't know who to trust. Or something like that…

Maybe he had been spending a lot of time with the girl, but with Logan gone and all, who else was she gonna turn to? Certainly not the same people who still treated her as a stubborn and inconsequential child!

"T'ought ya wanted ta help her." He challenged.

"Ah do! But ah jus don' see why she has ta get so attached to yah. Why not Bobby?"

"Dat's low Rogue. De woman need someone ta help 'er. Someth'n not right wit' her. Don' nobody understand what she goin' through."

"It's not lahke we ain't been tryin'! Yah know somethin' we don't Remy? Is that why yah walked?"

"De woman upset. She don' need me tah tell her dat or talk her out o' it."

"Well, if she's a woman, like yah say, then she's old enough to know what she's doing."

"You tryin' ta say she takin' Remy's help de wrong way? Dat's what you be gettin' at?"

Rogue sidled back up to him, trying desperately to regain control of the situation.

"Look…" She began to trail her lips along his collarbone.

"Ah don't…" Across his throat.

"Wanna argue…" Up his neck.

"Bout this…" Into the swell of his chest.

"Ah'm sorry Ah even brought it up." Once more she raised her head and nudged her nose against the line of his mouth.

He couldn't help but cringe. "Actu'lly, I'm glad ya did. It gon' make dis a little easier." Leaning back against the wall, he closed his eyes and made the hardest decision of his life. "We're t'rough Rogue."

"What?" She backed up, slowly putting distance between them while trying to process what he was saying. "Yah can't be serious! Yah say that all tha time an' yah never mean it! Is it just cause of Jubes? Ah know it was hasty but ah'm jus' concerned about yah both. Ah jus don' want her ta get the wrong idea. Yah know how girls her age are."

"Merde! Are ya even list'ning ta yerself? De only one dat has de wrong idea 'bout anythin' is you! Dis has ta stop. Everyt'ing ain't about you. Ya ain't de only t'ing in my life. And I cain't spend de rest of my life makin' up for all de mistakes I've made when you makin' de exact same ones."

"Ah can't believe yah're implyin' that Ah'm forcin' you to grovel at mah feet! 'f anything Ah've tried tah help yah but yah throw it all back in mah face all cause of one wrong decision."

"It's not jes leavin' me ta die, Rogue. It's everything! Mebbe I deserved ta die out there but I sure as hell don' deserve ta die everytime ya get an impulse an' den leave me in de cold. Den figure out ya gotta wait fer me ta come crawlin' back again."

"Then why do yah keep crawlin' back? Ah put yah on the other side of tha world an' leave yah ta die an' yah still come back! Why? Ah don't understand! If yah think Ah'm such a shitty person, why do yah keep puttin' up with it?"

"'Thought ya loved me chere." He whispered.

"I thought I did too." Her voice held only distress and confusion.

"It's time we let dis go Rogue. Go ta Joseph o' whoever ya want. It don' matter no more. Remy too tired."

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she gave a sharp, cool laugh. "So it's over? Jes like that?"

"I'm sorry chere." His eyes glazed over and settled on the floor. He couldn't go to her now. And strangely, he felt no desire to comfort her either. There was simply nothing left for him here.

"Don't be." She pushed past him with tears spilling down her cheeks.

Standing in the middle of the room, she attempted to compose herself. "Jest leave." She hissed, hastily wiping at her face.

"Goodbye Rogue." Knowing that his presence was only making things worse, he dressed himself and slipped quietly out the door shutting it behind him. The Southern beauty sank down on her knees, breathless with anxiety. She had her answer. A tearful cry could be heard before she got up, threw on a robe and made her way to Joseph's room at the other end of the mansion.


	16. Hate Me Today

**Chapter 15_  
><em>**

_Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue._

**Song Suggestions:**

Part One - Hate Me Today (Acoustic from Foiled Again) – Blue October

Part Two - Blurry - Puddle of Mudd

Part Three – Far From Home – Five Finger Death Punch

Part Four - What Have You Done - Within Temptation

Part Five - Watercolor - Pendulum

Part Six – Never Too Late – Three Days Grace

* * *

><p><strong>Part One – Hate Me Today <strong>

The meeting had been short and to the point. Xavier had tried his best to take it further, but Jubilee had thwarted every attempt. So much so that he had been forced to relent, not wanting to push the situation to an unseemly outcome. Little did Xavier know what was about to happen. If he had actually succeeded in reading her mind, she would have never made it out of that office of her own free will. Gambit had been very gracious in warning her beforehand. Though his reasons for doing so still confounded her.

Not that she had tried all that hard to understand. It wasn't really something she wanted to dwell on either. Not when she had everything she needed to complete her mission of execution. Everything except, perhaps, the courage. But that would come later – after the poison was already coursing through her veins.

Swiping the syringes and vial of Nembutal had been easy. While Beast was out of the lab for various reasons, she'd been hijacking his computer's medical database for information, making sure to erase any evidence of her searches. Beast would never notice the vials were missing until he did inventory, considering her drug of choice was only used for inducing comas. Dosages in large quantities, however, would prove fatal. That, she was counting on.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Jubilee tried not to think about her abrupt departure. She hadn't said anything to anyone; instead, opting to go quietly into the night. There was just one condition. That she be allowed to fly by herself. Like a big girl. Emma and Sean had agreed to follow in one of the jets from the Massachusetts Academy. No one much liked the idea, but it was the only method of travel she would allow. Considering she was an "adult" now, they were legally obliged to respect her wishes. That was one of the only thing working in her favor at the moment.

Leaning back and tossing her head against the pilot's seat, she stared listlessly out the thick windshield of the jet. It was programmed to autopilot, set in its course for Muir Island. Which gave her about 30 minutes to get her act together.

The solitude gave her the perfect opportunity to act without restraint. But she needed time to collect her thoughts. To say her goodbyes to the loved ones who would never hear what she truly wanted to say.

What she wouldn't give to go back in time! Back before all of this mess started. Back when she actually had a family. When Logan loved her like his own daughter, and the X-men treated her like the life of the party. Not that they ever let her throw one… Unless you counted the time she and Bobby had stolen Cyke's beloved Corvette to go clubbing and totaled it. On top of 5 am training sessions and laundry detail, they'd been forced to get jobs to pay for all the damages. Which, of course, gave them the never-needed excuse to retaliate with the mother of all prank wars. It was the only time she had ever seen Cyclops cry.

_Those were the days that had made life worth living._

Mutant human relations were strained then, but nothing as bad as it was now. Sure they'd had the same drama, but everyone had been a lot happier…or at least a lot closer. Even with their share of badass villains. Okay, so maybe badass was kinda stretching it... Still, she'd been allowed to fight more when she was fifteen than when she was twenty! And now at twenty five, she had seen it all yet lived through nothing.

She would give anything to be the carefree loudmouth her friends at Gen-X had come to know and love. To go back to the days of being a freshman – picking on Frost, gossiping with Paige, ditching class, crushing on Ev… God forbid Angelo or Jono find out what was going on in her head. They'd kill her before she ever got a chance to do it herself. And then make damn sure she lived to hear about how bloody daft she was to do something so utterly stupido.

But they had their own lives now. And they shouldn't have to put theirs on hold just to try and fix hers. She wouldn't allow it. Besides, if the X-men couldn't handle her, how the hell could they? Sure they'd fought together, but between the three of them, she was still the immature one. The one who always had something to say, even if it landed her in hot water. The one who fought first and asked questions later, battling her way through life. But what they labeled immature was, to her, just a stubborn refusal to yield. She never thought the title had suited her much anyway.

In reality, she knew she didn't deserve their concern. She didn't deserve anything really. Neither blame nor pity. But that's what she would get if she stayed. It wasn't the life she wanted. But she could never make anyone understand that.

So she covered her tracks, making sure no one knew what she was planning. Or how swiftly she intended to act. Telepaths could only do so much to penetrate the shields she had built. But nothing they did could unbury the secrets she hid beneath them.

Secrets that were slowly killing her. She could practically feel the cold hands of strangers touching her body in places that she swore never to let anyone invade again. Clean was so far out of her vocabulary, she'd all but forgotten what it felt like. Honest to God, she would feel more at home in a porno than she did in her own skin. All she wanted to do was forget.

But did anyone get that? NO! They had to go and send her to the one place where she would be forced to dredge up old memories and do something with them. It's not like anyone had ever succeeded in helping her put her past to rest. And she wasn't about to let them try either. Fighting was the only thing that brought her any peace. But now she was just a rebel without a cause. No way would she fight for Xavier anymore. She couldn't even fight for herself, so what good would it do?

Tears fell silently from her eyes as her breathing came in hitched gasps. For once, she didn't try to control her high pitched whines. Instead she let the snivelling tears of self loathing overtake her. She was grateful no one was there to hear her.

With steady determination, she took her shields down just enough so that Emma would be able to get a clear shot of her final thoughts. She longed to be remembered for who she had been. But that wasn't even an option. If she didn't blame the X-men for their mistreatment now, she knew damn well they would never understand the consequences of their ignorance.

She wanted to give her family one last chance to understand and resolve their mistakes. They owed her that at least. Better that they hate her than to think that she was some kind of martyr for their cause.

With that last thought tucked securely away, she closed her eyes one final time and drifted into the recesses of her mind. Concentrating all her energy on the pain she had been put through these past few years and ignoring everything except the newly filled syringe dangling precariously between her fingers.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2 - Blurry<br>**

Jubilee was floating, looking down on herself as if in a dream. She was growing to detest this frail weakling who had to kill herself to keep from being taken advantage of. This was not how she wanted to remember herself. Out on the astral plane, she could project anything she wanted. And what she needed was for Emma to see her as she had been. Fearless. Strong. A person who hadn't been warped from years of torture.

If she could project her thoughts just right, maybe she could send images to Emma that had nothing to do with her physical body slumped over in the pilot's seat, waiting for the end to come.

Jubilee's brow scrunched in concentration. She was no longer in the jet, but lost somewhere in limbo. Staring herself in the face. Stepping forward, she reached out, interlocking hands with her twin, and merging into its body. Allowing herself to relish in the fact that she didn't have to pretend anymore. She was about to show her family just how screwed up she had become.

With almost no effort, she projected a rather impressive replica of the danger room. Able to move more freely in this environment, she let down her guard, taking herself through a series of katas with the utmost concentration. Letting her mind run away with her, she began to prepare for the worst. Sure enough as her eyes began to adjust to the bright lights of her surroundings, she realized she was no longer alone.

_Logan._ He was crouching before her now, a hulking mass of muscle and adamentium. His eyes were narrowed, trained only on her. Scrutinizing every last movement. Correcting her stance…her form….her follow through. The ends of his lips curling into a smirk at her lack of attitude. He was the only person who could drive the insults right out of her, winding her with his contant drills until she simply didn't have the breath left to squawk.

It was always the same. First, endurance and strength training. A hardcore regiment of stretches, pushups, pullups, sprints, squats, lunges and weights. Only when she was thoroughly winded, did he teach her the finer points of stealth, so that she would remain focused even while struggling to stay upright.

Then came the endless hours of feinting, dodging, ducking, rolling, tucking, tumbling, and vaulting. And when she had mastered the basics of defense to his satisfaction, he moved forward with teaching her when and how to attack. His aim was deadly and his techniques were true. But she never quite mastered the art of their ferocity. She learned them out of necessity, and a love for the art. But never because she wanted to kill. He respected that too, never pushing her any further than was necessary.

Until now. The gleam in his eye chilled her to the core. He raked her over with a formal, calculating measure. As if she were a speck of dirt on his shoe. Controlling her breath, she focused on correcting her stance as he barked at her. It all but broke her concentration. His words causing her form to become corrupt.

It turned into a severe disadvantage as the walls of the danger room shimmered, producing an army of expendable targets. She readied herself to attack, only to see her mentor turning away from her, unconcerned and uncaring. She caught a glimpse of his retreating back as she struggled to free herself. The first blow hit her on the chin before she plowed her fist out and back and began fighting her way through the nothingness. Just to get the attention of the one person who acted as if she didn't even exist.

"Wolvie!" The words echoed off the walls, fraught with hurt and anger.

He turned, then. Glaring at her with a cold blooded resentment that not even she could penetrate. His expression might as well have been chiseled out of stone for all the sympathy it betrayed. He practically radiated with silent threats to leave him in peace. To let him go about his business without interference. But she refused to heed the warning. That was her first mistake.

A flash of metal slashed across her mind leaving three distinct claw marks on her skin. Blood ran down her neck and torso as she gazed in shock at the face of her mentor. She cupped her cheek, staring in amazement as the blood seeped onto her fingers. Watching in stunned silence as his eyes struggled to return to a human state. Back to the guise of a father, wrestling with the fact that he had hurt his little girl. He never meant to cause her pain. She knew that now. But it still didn't do anything to alleviate her suffering.

Although the physical pain did more to solidify her feelings than words ever could. Torn flesh felt nothing at all like the crippling vagueness of an emotional wound. It gave her physical proof – A scar that she could point to and say _this is what rejection feels like._ Would it leave a mark on his heart the way he had left one on hers?

Jubilee had a feeling Emma would get great pleasure out of making Wolverine sit through this little display. She saw the effects when Wolverine had abandoned Jubilee at the Academy. Had seen how it had torn her apart even when she tried to keep it together. There was just no telling how he would react to this. But let Emma deal with the aftermath because at this point Jubilee was beyond caring.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 3 - Far From Home<br>**

In a simple shift of features, Logan's rough chin morphed into the delicate curve of the Phoenix. Blue hair filtering into red. There was none of the femininity of Jean Gray left. Only the power hungry drive of the entity pretending to be her. The indelicate tone all but commanded Jubilee not to betray its dirty little secret or all would be ruined. Though exactly how the universe would implode just because the Phoenix dared to put a leash on Jean Gray's hidden passions and keep her from having some tawdry little affair with Logan remained unclear. Perhaps Jubilee would have been more inclined to hear the being's perspective if it weren't so downright condescending. After all, how could such a simple girl fathom the ways of the universe and the ripple effect that a single event could cause?

The crazed firecracker had to stop herself from breaking down in a fit of laughter tinged with mania. She knew all about the ripple effect…could feel it coursing in her veins as the needle tore a hole in her skin. Reminding her that she would no longer have to deal with that insufferable flaming bag of hormones.

Jean _was_ still in there somewhere, compensating for her guilt by taking on a motherly role. But it wasn't enough. All Jubilee could think was that this _thing _was taking away her father with every stab to his unbreakable heart. A heart that always managed to recover after each relapse – when Jean finally took back over and returned to Scott. But Logan was never quite the same and Jubilee was forced to watch helplessly as he slipped further and further away after every useless, lust-filled encounter with the unattainable. She refused to be privy to that anymore.

Within seconds, the Phoenix shifted away into the superior authority of her one eyed cycloptic counterpart. The nembutal was already steady at work, emptied straight into her system. Making Scott's voice sound six times as loud as it should have been. It cut through her head, drowning out the Phoenix's pleas. Blissfully unaware of the implications they carried.

The man's visor was inches from her brow. His hands on her shoulders, shaking her into submission. Spouting lecture upon lecture about how her actions weren't helping anyone but herself. Revealing how she undermined his authority by attacking members of the team. All of that leading up to his neverending demands to grow up and take responsibility for her actions.

She flinched at the droplets of spit spraying out of his mouth as he towered over her. Appealing to whatever conscience she had left. How ironic that the one man whose heart she never had the nerve to break could end up trashing hers so completely. All she wanted was to prove herself. To make it known that she was an asset, not a liability. Something she would never accomplish now.

While she was forced to sit out on missions, Scott grew ever more rigid in his beliefs. Ever more dedicated to Xavier's dream. The dream they had all shared at one point.

He had always made an effort not to leave anyone behind, but with attacks getting more frequent and malicious, there was only so much he could do. Perhaps that was the excuse for his newfound militaristic judgements. Maybe it was safer to cut and run, thereby preventing more casualties. After all, what good was a team if everyone got killed? But it still did nothing to change the fact that the man she had trusted with her life had left her behind.

She took one good look at the man who didn't know anything about her, or what she had sacrificed for him and his precious team, before her temper seized up. With all of the rage in her being, she closed her fists around Scott's wrists, and pushed him away from her, as hard as she could. Taking advantage of his comic instability, she hauled off, punching him square in the jaw. The one eyed wonder went reeling, landing flat on his back. Knocked out cold.

Jubilee stepped back, surveying the damage and reigning in her temper. She could get used to this! And God knows half the team deserved to be put in their place. After all, Scott wasn't the only one who made the decision to cut and run. Many on the team had had to make the call to save a teammate at one point or another. Some chose rightly. Others made the gravest of mistakes. Like Rogue.

If her powers had really been acting up like she claimed, she would have actually gone back to look for the Cajun instead of lying straight to his face. Jubilee had checked the jet logs. Every last damn one. Was it her fault that they left her alone at the mansion with nothing to do but feed a growing obsession to learn just how much search and rescue work the team actually did?

If Scott was gonna focus on how one decision could destroy the X-men and tear them apart, why had he cow-towed to that Southern fried bitch? He hadn't said a damn thing to her. Unlike Storm, who had all but thrown down on the woman.

_Probably why no one had her back when she got shot with that taser. _

If Beast hadn't found her lying in that hospital, she might as well have been counted for dead considering they'd have transferred her to a "safehouse" as soon as she woke up. That would never happen though. The others wouldn't allow it considering Storm wasn't expendable like the rest of them.

The X-men would bend over backwards to find their crucial members. Especially when it meant the team's livelihood_. _Never leaving a leader to suffer the fate of the underlings. And then treating them like war heroes once they returned home since they refused to complain or lay blame on anyone. Storm fit the hero bill perfectly.

But oh no! Not Jubilee! She was a threat to everybody. Putting the team's sanity at risk with her displaced anger and posing a threat to Rogue's failing relationship. She could see the Southern belle flying closer on the darkened horizon of the astral plane, accusations at the ready. Wanting to know what her intentions were with her boyfriend, because of course, if Rogue were in the same position with Gambit that Jubilee had been in, she'd have used it to her advantage.

There was just one difference. Jubilee's pain was genuine. And she didn't use it to get what she wanted. If, in fact, Gambit was what she wanted. She was so disgusted with that thought that she wouldn't even stoop to defending herself in her own mind. Sure…she wanted Gambit…just about as much as she wanted to go back in that alleyway and have her ass handed to her again. Did Rogue really think she would fuck with his head like she did?

Rogue had nurtured her afflictions to the point that they blinded her to reality. Jubilee mimicked her perfectly in her head. _Oh, I can't touch anything. My life is so hard. No one understands me. Least of all the man who loves me more than life itself._ PUH-LEAZE! It made her want to puke her guts out. Rogue's past was just as checkered as anyone's! Probably moreso than Gambit's. But thanks to Jean and the Professor, she had locked those memories away with Carol Danvers. And _still_ she wanted to look down on everybody around her?

Hell naw!

Jubilee's eyes narrowed at the woman flying at her. Eyes blazing with untold abuse. Before Rogue could outmaneuver her, she sprang forward, hand outstretched to the woman's naked cheek. Skin met skin as the firecracker's memories melted into it, taking the young woman by surprise as she cried out at the contact.

Jubilee's eyes shuddered closed, but she remained conscious enough to be aware of the thoughts leaking out of her. Thoughts of Gambit being a perfect gentleman, yet revealing a softer side that he had never entrusted to anyone else but Storm.

They had talked on the nights he sat with her. Not about her issues or his demons. But of times past. Filling each other in on what had happened in the other's absence. Keeping it light, but maintaining a trust that he didn't feel Rogue had earned. He hadn't even felt it necessary to confide in the skunk striped Southern belle where he had gone after Antarctica!

Much to her satisfaction, Jubilee was the one still standing after that little encounter. Her former friend was currently on the ground in tears. Perhaps now, Emma would share with Rogue how stupid Jubilee thought she was being. Doubtful. But she could hope. It was, after all, her dying wish.

She hoped Emma would share every last bit of this with the others. Even if she had to consider it as a suicide note. Emma may have done a lot of things in her day, but she was never one to sweep things under the rug. If pressed, Jubilee knew that the White Queen would do what was right by her. No matter how badly it hurt.

Reeling her thoughts back in as if they were on a fishing line, she led Emma deeper into her mind. Carefully guiding her only through the parts she wanted her to see.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 4 – What Have You Done<strong>

The white leather vixen was beyond frustrated, currently wearing a hole in the floor of the blackbird. Back and forth she paced, her lips set in a grim line. She was, for once in her life, smartly attired. Her white cape swishing quickly around her heels as she tried to fixate on all the images she was being bombarded with. The woman was completely entranced. And that, more than anything, was what had her so worried.

"Sean, you're not listening to me! We have to get her off that plane. All of these projections…they're getting worse. More scattered."

"What do ye see woman?"

"I can't say yet. But it…it's like she's in another world! She's exposing her anger towards all of us. But why now? I've seen further into her psyche in the past ten minutes than I have the whole time I've known her. She's definitely up to something."

"Could it nae be that she's finally comin' around?"

Emma stared at Sean like he was the one who was losing it. "Jubilee? Coming around? To us? Are you daft? We need to know what's going on over there! That little witch has all but jammed the video feed ON PURPOSE so that the only connection I have to her is psychic."

"Do you need me to be of assistance?" A new voice spoke, cutting through the tension. Emma directed her sharp line of vision in its direction, loathe to conceding defeat. Finally, with a resigned sigh, she spoke up.

"Do what you have to do."

"Verstanden." The speaker immediately disappeared in a flash of smoke, leaving a small BAMF in his wake.

"Do ye think it's a good idea? Listening to Lebeau? If the lass seems ta be openin' up to ye, surely it cannae be a bad thing."

"Don't be so naïve. You know as well as I do that girl has more tricks up her sleeve than I have shoes. Gambit knows better than to underestimate her. As do I. If he suggested including Nightcrawler on this little escort mission, then clearly he suspects something to happen sooner than the rest of us. Although I simply hate being outclassed. by that smug little son of a -"

"Focus woman! We need tha lass back in one piece."

"Screw it Sean. See if you can patch the video feed back."

***telepathic thought***

_Slamming her eyes shut, Emma tried to find her way past Jubilee's projections to the real situation. "Kurt! What's going on over there?"_

_The blue haired priest, though, was too busy taking in the sight before him to answer. "Mein Gott in Himmel. What have you done mein freund?"_

"_DAMMIT ANSWER ME!"_

_Nightcrawler sucked in a deep breath, trying to get out the facts that were clouding his mind. "Dies is not good Emma. Die Fraülein has injected herself with something. Sie atmet nicht!"_

"_In English!"_

"_She's not breathing! I - I am teleporting her back to the blackbird."_

"_Sean, how long until we reach Muir Island?"_

"_Ten minutes. I've already fixed the video feed and patched through to Moira to have her team ready. I dannae know what's going to happen from there. If we're too late..." _

"_It's never too late. I'm going in. To keep what's left of her from leaving the astral plane for good." _

_****End telepathic thought****_

The puffs of blue black smoke cleared as Nightcrawler lay Jubilee on the med table in the back of the blackbird and gave the empty vial he had found to Sean. Together they strapped Jubilee onto the gurney in case she had seizures.

With one final breathe, Emma closed her eyes and floated into the untamed depths of the astral plane, desperate to reach the girl before it was too late. All of the visions that she had seen made perfect sense now. Jubilee was leaving behind her final thoughts as an accusation and a plea to them all. To understand what they had done to her. The question was were they too late to fix it?

* * *

><p><strong>Part 5 - Watercolor<strong>

Jubilee was too far gone to sense Emma's presence invading her mind. She was too busy battling a purple haired ninja and her brooding boyfriend. One of her best kept secrets was how Angel had come onto her the first time they had met. His angelic persona was quite unfitting for the actions he was suggesting the two of them engage in. He was always arrogantly cornering her around the mansion. Telling her he was the best chance she had at getting any. Playing the part of the quintessential playboy, before Betsy had come along and stolen his heart. She had tried to distance herself as much as possible. Had even thought about sic-ing Wolvie on him, but, surprise surprise, the Canadian was nowhere to be found, and no one else was in the mood to hear how she couldn't fend herself off against a new recruit. Even Bobby had laughed her off. So she'd been forced to act on her own behalf.

Who knew a little superglue on his feathers would have pissed him off so much? But at least he left her alone. Though, it gave him a damn good reason to carry a big fat hairy grudge.

She cursed her imagination for running away with her as the blonde haired angel materialized before her very eyes. Molesting his beloved Betsy while she was standing right in front of them. She gagged on her own spit as his eyes strayed from Betsy to her. He was obviously more focused on Jubilee than the woman who could gut him with her psychic knife for his trifling ways. As the two disentagled, Betsy walked past her, smug and self satisfied. Warren on the other hand made it a point to shove past her as he went, making his displeasure clear. Jubilee's face burned in rage and she raised her arms to paff the two of them to kingdom come until a sharp pointed bone to her neck made her think twice.

"What's the matter girlie? Betsy got something that belongs to you?"

"GROSS! Don't you have better things to do than spy on people"

"Seems to me you should just do what he wants. God knows you aren't going to get it anywhere else."

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK YA BONY CACTUS!"

The knife dug even deeper into the pulse point on her neck.

"Watch your mouth little one. Never know when I just might slip up and cut up that pretty little skin of yours."

Not one to be taken advantage of, Jubilee grabbed the wrist with the bone and threw her elbow in Marrow's gut, forcing her backwards and allowing Jubilee to pitch forward and throw her off. The bony bitch landed in an undignified heap on the floor. Snarling, she leaped back up to her feet, only to freeze on the spot as the weather witch and Henry McCoy appeared out of nowhere.

Bobby appeared just in time to capture Jubilee in ice before she had a chance to jump back on Marrow's bony ass. Great. Even in her dreams, she was spared from kicking the butts of the people who most deserved it.

Both Beast and Storm looked as if they were dealing with mere children. Storm directed her displeasured gaze at the morlock at her feet. As commander in chief, Marrow was her primary concern. The bony matriarch knew when she was bested. So she hauled herself as far away from Jubilee as possible and stalked out of the room followed by the African beauty. Always the peacemaker, Storm would never let Marrow get what was coming to her.

Jubilee was having none of it. "Let me OUTTA THIS ICETRAP BOBBY! Do ya hear me?"

"Geez Lee, get a grip! Calm down a little and I just might let ya go"

"FINE!" The Asian immediately put herself in check and stopped trying to burn her way through the layers of ice that chilled her to the bone.

Bobby finally relented, but not without his quick wit.

"Whydya let her get to you like that? You know she's just trying to get under your skin. I mean, sure Warren's got the looks and more money than Trump and Gates combined. But the man is taken. Isn't that what you two are always fighting about anyway? Maybe you both should start fighting over me. Then I'd get as much action as Mr. Moneybags.

"Bobby, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You're a freakin idiot."

Beast chose that moment to interject. "Perhaps it would be wise to leave matters of the heart untouched. One can clearly see Bobby that your advice is neither warrented nor helpful. Jubilee, try your best to avoid Marrow. It seems as if she is on a tear as usual."

"Sure thing." Jubilee mumbled as the two faded into the background. Bobby complaining to Hank the whole way out about his love life or lack thereof. There was nothing she could do to bring Bobby to his senses. Best leave it to Hank to take care of the little twerp. Tears fell as she realized her best friend was no longer her best friend. He was no longer privy to her pranks and private thoughts. Not while he had his head stuck up his ass over his newfound rank on the team. Jubilee's hands itched to get her hands back on Marrow and teach her a lesson she'd never forget. But her heart ached even more for what she had lost in Bobby.

Beast and Storm…they understood on some level. But neither would agree with her actions thus far. In fact, they would be disappointed in her. And disappointment was something she couldn't deal with anymore than the voices in her head.

She just wanted it to stop. All of it. Her time was coming to a close. She could feel it closing in upon her. But, much to her chagrin, she wasn't ready for it.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Six - Never Too Late<strong>

She thought it would be so much easier than this to break ties with the ones who had caused her so much pain. But it just wasn't that simple. Her mind had long since lost control of her projections. She was now at the mercy of her own psyche. And it was something she never fathomed would happen. Panic set in as the ground rumbled beneath her feet and caused her to shoot up higher and higher onto the ledge of the tallest skyscraper her mind could envision.

Emma floated at a safe distance, cloaked to Jubilee. Charles, too, had been monitoring the situation using Cerebro, and had just now joined Emma at the place of disturbance to try and save their young protégé. Their mission was to keep Jubilee's mind in tact until they could get her to Muir Island. With five minutes to spare, it was crucial that they keep her with them as long as possible.

That, however, was going to prove troublesome. Emma's mouth dropped open in shock as she spied Jubilee drop to her knees, screaming in pain as a pair of black wings unfurled behind her, breaking through her skin and stretching shakily outward. It was obvious that whatever Jubilee had injected herself with was creating havok within her. Jubilee was writhing in agony right next to a ledge with a 50 foot drop that led to God knows where. The White Queen couldn't sit back and watch any longer. Unable to remain hidden, Emma ran to Jubilee and grabbed her around her narrow waist tackling them both back towards the far wall of the structure.

It was at that moment Charles attempted to make contact with Jubilee. That was when the screaming started. Emma was all but pleading with Jubilee, saying it would be alright. That they knew what she was going through now. That they could help her.

But she just screamed and screamed. There was only one person she wanted with her right now and Charles and Emma were a poor substitute. The one person she had merely remembered but dared not interact with on the astral plane wasn't going to come and get her out of this mess she had created. She had personally seen to that. The last two minutes of Jubilee's struggle was spent contained within the psyches of Charles and Emma. They kept her paralyzed in a fetal position against the back wall of whatever building Jubilee was projecting. There was absolutely no getting through to her. No penetration through the pain.

Cradling herself inside of the black wings, The half gone Asian couldn't do a thing except shake and whimper, waiting for an end that never came. In a matter of seconds, she came crashing back to reality, her eyelids fluttering open as someone roughly yanked her hands above her and strapped them onto the gurney. The same with her ankles. Whoever did it was none too gentle. But she was too far gone to care. She wouldn't last much longer like this. A frigid breeze hit her across the face as she felt a prick to her skin. More medicine? Her breath was coming in shallow pants now…almost nonexistant.

From somewhere far away she could make out the one voice she hadn't counted on hearing. Demanding her to open her lungs. Challenging her to fight. She swore to herself it was all just a dream. A fruitless wish. Though she couldn't be sure why it felt like rain was falling on her face. Surely she wasn't crying...

A man's solid fist ripped her uniform open and found its way to her chest, pumping life back into her. Then came a ripple through her body that felt like an electric jolt. It forced her eyes open as her back arched off the gurney. There were millions of people standing around her, but the only eyes she could make out were stained blood red. Caught somewhere between grief stricken and pissed beyond belief.


	17. Bring me back to life

Disclaimer: I don't own X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue.

Song Suggestions:

Part One: Helena Beat - Foster the People

Part Two: Precious - Depeche Mode

Part Three - Call Me a Doctor - Eminem feat. Dr. Dre and Holly Brook

* * *

><p><strong>Part One - <strong>**Helena Beat**

Gambit's mind was reeling. With only two days to prevent Jubilee from making the biggest mistake of her life, he knew he was, yet again, in a race against time. Nothing mattered to him more than getting to that damn island and preventing what she would surely have gotten away with had the others had their way with her.

In order to avoid dealing with the aftermath of whatever the hell had happened with Rogue, he had set his sights on la fille's problems to keep himself occupied. Knowing Jubilee's patterns, he retraced every last step she had taken in the past month. Forgoing a strip search of her room, which would only have been too obvious, he had started with the one place she would have access to what she most desired. He could have kicked himself fifty times over for leaving her unattended in a room full of death in bottles. Hell she could have injected herself with the legacy virus if she had wanted to!

The girl was slick though. He had to credit her for that. It had taken him the better part of an hour to back hack into Beast's computer database, recover her searches and find her drug of choice. Fortunately for him, he was only just in time to take matters into his own hands.

He had left the mansion the day of her "intervention", conveniently using his fallout with Rogue as his excuse. He had left behind a right nasty little note too. Detailing expressly why he wouldn't be coming back to the mansion any time soon. He took great pains to leave any mention of Jubilee out of the picture. Choosing instead to focus on his own abandonment and maltreatment at the hands of his teammates and former lover. As far as the X-men were concerned, he had gone back to take his place as rightful head of the Thieves guild, untraceable and unbreakable.

The only person he even bothered to say goodbye to was Storm, though she wasn't conscious enough to bid him farewell. So he gave an encrypted e-mail address to Henry, who was about the only person Gambit even remotely trusted anymore. Soon after, he made his way out to the garage, slung the bag he'd had packed for the better part of a year onto the back of his Harley, and gunned his way down Graymalkin Lane.

The sting of the wind in his face did nothing to counteract the bitter taste of betrayal at what had gone down. Jubilee's actions were not unexpected, nor unwarranted. But they had shaken him something fierce. Lighting a fire inside of his veins that he couldn't put out even if he wanted to.

He wasn't sure if it was vindicated outrage or a desperate need to feel life flooding through him, but either way he didn't know how to temper it. It threw him back to his own long forgotten despair. Back when his own mother had abandoned him and he'd had to learn to make due with the bounty of prostitutes who had been there to take her place. Little boys were always in high demand on the French Quarter, and he'd done what he'd had to do to get by. But by fifteen, his soul had been so deadened, he'd had to be hospitalized for multiple suicide attempts before Jean Luc had rescued him from what would have otherwise been a shameful and needless death.

There was only one other event that could come close to mimicking the same amount of emotional energy he had spent on keeping himself together. And that was knowing he had been the sole perpetrator of a massacre…a massacre which had driven him to the brink of madness. Only Storm knew how close he had come to offing himself out of what he saw as a kindness to society. She alone had talked him out of some of the darkest places he had ever found himself entangled in. And though Rogue had seen fit to complete the task he had never felt the need to finish, he would always remember Storm's final words which had breathed life back into his soul. Words that told him that he was worth something more than what life had dealt him. And that he was worth more to her than her own life respectably.

Gambit wasn't about to take responsibility for Jubilee's recklessness. Not even the team could take full credit for what she had pulled, though it really was their fucking fault. But he would provide a balance to their shortsightedness. And be a light for the girl when she couldn't see past her own darkness. Just like his padnat had done for him not so long ago.

Why he hadn't stopped Jubilee's path of destruction sooner, was a matter between him and God. If there was a God. He'd never been much of a believer. But times like this tested what little faith he had left. Being saved or damned had never meant a lick to him, but doing the right thing when it counted? That was something he could hold onto. And right now, it was about the only thing keeping him from doing something incredibly stupid.

So he focused on the darkness of the sky and the bright yellow lines marking the confines of the road in front of him. The engine whined as he floored the accelerator, pushing up to speeds beyond any reasonable limit. It was his own panic that drove him on. If he didn't make it in time, Jubilee was as good as dead. He had to reach Muir Island ahead of her with the only person he trusted enough to save her. The only person that stood a chance in hell of bringing her back.

Pure adrenaline was the only thing that kept him from skidding off the road, considering he was more exhausted than he could afford to acknowledge. He always had been a speed demon, but most times he had a damn good reason to be. Now was no exception. It would have taken any normal person three hours to make it to the nondescript airstrip on the Western side near Lake Ontario. Gambit pulled it off in one.

Kicking the stand down to look around, he exhaled sharply as he realized he had no idea what he was supposed to be looking for. "Mautin! Dat fille gon' be de death o' me!" Gambit muttered, pulling out the disposable cell phone he had bought a few miles back at some sketchy little convenient store. Cursing his luck, he punched in numbers that were more ingrained into him than his accent, and placed a call to the only hope Jubilee had left.

"Tante? Oui, c'est moi…" He strained his eyes, taking a good long look around the moonlit airstrip. "Oú êtes-vous?"

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2 – Precious <strong>

Small beady eyes materialized out of the darkness, honing in on their target. Attached to them was a short body with a head full of braided beads and a small stump of a hand curling out of the darkness to attract attention. Any sane man would have jumped out of his skin. But Gambit was neither sane nor fearful. He merely gave a quick nod to the figure before she swept him up in a fierce embrace. One which he returned coldly, though not without the proper amount of respect due to his elder. He was simply not in the mood to pander to her meddling.

"Bonjour Tante. L'avez-vous?"

"Oui."

"Bon. Voyage décent?"

"Cut de formalities Remy. Ya ask me all dis way and don't tell me a bit o' what ya be needin' my services for?

"You'd still come." He pointed out, not unkindly.

"Curiosity be gettin de better of me in my old age. But ya best be makin' it good. De Guild don't put me out on loan fer jest anyone."

"No. Dey don't." Gambit confirmed as his mood darkened. "Remy not keep ya waitin' much longer. But we best be on our way. Gambit tell ya everythin' he know once we in de air."

"Oh don' mind me. Maddie already done traveled five hours on a cramped jet, and waited anodder t'ree for yer theivin hyde ta show up. What's anodder hour ta me ta find out what girl I bein' dragged out ta save dis time?"

Gambit placed a brief kiss on her cheek, trying to smooth things over with his charm. "Remy be much obliged if we don' waste no more time mixin' words. You de only one dat can help. An' ya don' need me ta tell ya what ya already seen in dem cards o' yours."

"Touché Remy. Ya always did know how ta get yer way." With a quick jerk of her head, the plane materialized out of thin air. Its cloaking device lifted with a simple spell.

"Where we be needin' ta go?" She asked as she climbed into the cockpit and strapped herself in the passanger seat.

"Muir Island."

"Tell Maddie somethin' she don't know. De cards say dat place is death's door."

"Not if Remy can help it."

"Dis girl…ya be close ta her? What ever happen ta da one wit de skunk stripe? All o' sudden one ain't enough fer ma garcon?"

"Now not de best time fer dat…" Gambit started as he shifted uncomfortably under her piercing gaze.

"Now be de perfect time. What dis new one be meanin' to ya? Maddie sense a spiritual connection. De cards confirm it be a strong bond. Dey say she gon' have a powerful impact on yer future."

Remy pointedly ignored her divinations like he always did. He'd had enough of them to last a lifetime. Letting out a sharp focused sigh, he replied moodily. "She just une fille dat needs some sense knocked into her fool head. Dat's all."

Maddie humphed, taking note of his scorn, but smiling to herself all the same. "We shall see Remy. Dat we shall soon see."

Gambit expertly tuned his attention to the control panels, drowning out her well-meaning prattle. It wasn't until they were already halfway to their destination that the bug Remy had planted in Xavier's office alerted him to the fact that his suspicions were confirmed. Jubilee had all but offered herself up willingly, no strings attached. With the only exception being she wanted to fly alone. If that didn't mean she wasn't up to something, then Gambit was nothing more than a mere pick pocket. He'd have been a fool if he hadn't conned Emma to bring Nightcrawler along as an escort. Him being a priest and all meant he would keep his mouth shut too. All the better for them both.

Maddie flinched back at the controlled resolve masking the lifelessness in the girl's tone. This was the woman that was supposed to cross paths with her godson? Atleast the others had some sort of spunk about them. This one sounded like the living embodiment of death itself. Something was going to have to be done. And soon.

If Remy thought that the girl would try to take her own life, he was right to ask for the elixir of life. But all it would do was make her breathe again. It wouldn't give her her spirit back. That would have to be done on her own time. Just as her beloved godson had had to do all through his own life. One thing was certain though. Their two paths were destined to be crossed. And she knew that the cards never lied.

As soon as the plane touched down, Moira and her team were rushing to meet them. Gambit filled them in on what he knew, and why he had brought Maddie along. Tensions were running high, but atleast Moira was open to his offerings.

"Sean jest made contact." The red headed doctor spouted to them both. "Charles an' Emma are containing Jubilee on the astral plane so that her mind doesnae leave her body. But physically she's in grave danger. Her pulse is shallow and she's havin' te breathe using an oxygen mask."

"Is dat all?" Maddie asked with a critical air.

"Aye. An' ye must let us try all we can before ye intervene."

"Try what ya want, but ya won' get very far. De girl's spirit is waning."

"How can ye possibly know that?" Moira asked in disbelief.

"Tantie Maddie can feel de spirits of all souls in peril." The woman held her head high as she faced the doctor proudly, ready to throw her weight around if necessary.

"Whatever tha case mae be, our methods are te be tried first. Agreed?"

"Fine. But don' say Maddie didn' warn ya." She countered, almost nonchalantly, but not without the touch of a threat.

Gambit didn't attempt to intervene. He knew better than to take on the woman when she was in her element. Besides, his eyes were already focused on the approaching aircrafts. Nightcrawler had teleported to control Jubilee's jet while Sean put all his focus onto bringing in the other in for a quick and smooth landing.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 3 - <strong>**Call me a Doctor**

Not wasting a second, the party had taken off running, throwing themselves straight in the mix of Emma, Sean, and Jubilee. Moira worked diligently attempting to get the girl stabilized, but nothing she was doing was making a damn bit of difference as Jubilee's pulse wasted away to nothing. Knowing drastic measures needed to be taken, Tantie Maddie shoved the doctor roughly aside just as Moira finished injecting the girl with an antidote that only had a 30 percent chance of working.

Tilting the poor girl's chin back, Maddie took out the small vial she had carried with her. It had been passed down and protected for almost 300 years now and it was not something to be used lightly. Cradling the girl's head and neck near to her bosom, she crooned a French spell as the elixir spilled down her throat. Her murmurs were constant as the spells allowed its life-giving properties to do battle with the poison.

Before Moira could climb on top of the gurney to start CPR, Gambit put a hand on her shoulder, effectively stepping in to take her place. The doctor knew better than to protest. Gambit knew better what to expect and would be able to react instinctively. Time was of the essence as he jumped atop the gurney, straddling the girl's stomach, giving her just enough room to breathe. Taking the excess straps, he shoved Jubilee's arms above her head, and tied them down to stop the thrashing that would inevitably occur. Moira did the same with her legs, not having to be instructed, but merely jumping in where she was needed most. All the while her team had been busy moving the gurney from outside to the inner walls of the hospital and hooking her up to a heart monitor. They backed off at Moira's command, though stood close by ready to move into action at the slightest provocation.

For a split second, Jubilee's eyes fluttered open and met Gambit's panic stricken face. He couldn't tell if she was registering anything in that screwed up head of hers, but it was enough to strengthen his resolve. Emma was keeping her conscious enough to see and hear what was going on around her. But not much was getting through. He could tell by the plastered look on her face. Like death warmed over. Still, the important thing was that she was fighting. Her body jerking and convulsing as the two liquids fought for control.

"Wake up petite." He commanded. Silent tears dripped from his red-rimmed eyes as he ripped open the front of her uniform, exposing her chest to the cold night air. There was no place for modesty in his addled senses when all he could focus was on getting the girl in front of him to fight for her own damn life. Her heartbeat was so faint, he could barely feel her pulse moving beneath his fingers.

Anger swelled within him as he lost all sense of control, begging for a response as he pumped the blood flow back into her heart. "How stupid you t'ink Gambit is petite? You t'ink you gonna up and leave jes like dat widdout so much as a warning?" Her body bucked beneath him, straining under his weight. Gambit held her in place, continuing his ministrations. "Listen and listen good petite. You gonna breathe and you gonna like it!" Her breathing was still barely there and she was hanging on by a thread, flirting with disaster. "C'mon petite! Fight it!" He tried a few more compressions before sitting back on his haunches in exhaustion as he weighed the situation before him. "Gambit be damned if he let ya go out like dis!"

She had left him no choice. Gathering the amount of energy it would take to kick start her heart, he willed it to travel down his arm and straight into his fist. Splaying his hand out directly on her chest, he pushed directly on where the girl's heart was struggling to beat. In one fantastic jolt, he pushed the energy out of his own body into hers. Her back arched off the gurney straight towards his chest, and he caught her against him, easing her back down, and letting the energy dissipate out instead of explode. Her eyes were wide open, her body shocked into submission. The control it took to execute such a move was extraordinary and had left him panting and the slightest bit shaking. But the only thing he gave a damn about was whether it had worked.

He didn't realize he had been holding his breathe until five steady beeps on the heart monitor resounded across the room. Maddie still held the girl close as she lay on the bed, speaking to her in a foreign tongue, willing her spirit to return. Jubilee's eyes had closed once again, her own weariness overtaking her back into unconsciousness. Gambit's own heart beat in time with the monitor. All was not lost. But there was still such a long way to go. She was, for all intensive purposes still lost within her own mind. Comatose. But she was alive. And at that moment, he couldn't have asked for anything better.

* * *

><p>French translations<p>

La fille – the girl

Padnat – partner/associate/close friend

Mauntin – Damn

C'est moi – It's me

Oú êtes-vous – Where are you

L'avez –vous – Do you have it?

Bon. Le voyage décent? – Good. The trip okay?

Garçon - boy


	18. Awake and Alive

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So please don't sue.

Song Suggestions:

Part One: Lisa Miskovsky - Still Alive

Part Two: Savin' Me - Nickelback

Part Three: Awake and Alive - Skillet

Part Four: Wires - Athlete

* * *

><p><strong>Part One - Still Alive<strong>

"You sure dis gonna work?" Remy questioned. He looked at Emma like she had just given the last dime of her small fortune to charity. Really all she had suggested they do was enter Jubilee's mind and bring her spirit back out from wherever it was trapped in the astral plane. Piece of cake. About as easy as Emma parting with all that dough.

"We have no choice." Emma remarked, turning a deaf ear to his insulting skepticism.

"You two sure doin' a lot o' talkin' over dere. De girl alive, mais ya leave her too long like dis an' she gonna come back worse dan she start out!" Maddie interjected, refusing to leave her perch by Jubilee's bedside. She busied herself dabbing the girl's forehead with a cool compress and watching with a wary eye as Moira took her vitals.

Conceding defeat, the Cajun blew out the breath he'd been holding back and looked up at the White Queen, more than ready to play her game. "What ya want Remy ta do?"

An icy shield fell over Emma as she advanced on him menancingly, slowly enunciating each word that left her lips. "I want you to see every last image that Jubilation left in her wake. And then I want you to take a long hard look at yourself and figure out if this is something you're ready to see to the finish. Don't you _dare_ say you're going to take this on and then bail out on her like that sorry excuse for a deadbeat father figure of hers."

Remy wisely kept his mouth shut, opting to match her cold unforgiving face with his own grave momentum. There was no mistaking that he held Wolverine and the rest of the X-men just as responsible as she did. In the stony silence resonated two words that Emma was only too happy to oblige him.

_Show me._

Without another word, the television screen that Sean had hooked her up to flickered to life. The machine took over, recording the most disturbing of images, taken straight from Jubilee's memory of the past four hours. The White Queen had made quite sure that the worst of it would be imprinted into a physical recording so that it could be shared with anyone she chose. Though right now she wanted nothing more than to prove to the infuriating man in front of her that Jubilation Lee was most certainly more than he could handle.

* * *

><p>Remy Lebeau was not one who was easily affected. He would be the last to admit that looking through Jubilee's mind was like looking into a mirror. The similarities between them only entangled him further into her emotions. Pushing him towards things he wasn't ready for, blurring whatever boundaries existed between the two of them.<p>

He never even flinched as Wolverine's claws bit into his friend's face. Invoking the same emotions that burned through him the few times he had brushed against Rogue's skin uninvited. Letting him know beyond the shadow of a doubt why she had left him to die.

Calculating the risks to his sanity, Gambit willed himself to step back, focusing on whatever he could grab onto that was safe. Like the fact he was highly annoyed he hadn't known a thing about Logan and Jean. It was apparently one of the best kept secrets in the mansion, considering a master thief couldn't even crack into it. Of course, he'd also had no idea that Jubilee had been put in the middle of keeping Logan at her side by hiding Jean from the wrath of her husband. He could practically taste the hopelessness of her position. And then to take Scott's abuse on top of everything else. Gambit was only too grateful he hadn't found out about it before he'd left.

The Phoenix entity may be more powerful than Xavier. And it wouldn't have taken much effort for it to hide the chaos it had created within the souls of its victims. But Gambit would have searched out the M'kraan crystal himself if it meant that the havoc created by that accursed being would be contained. And maybe even bring peace to the place he had once, without the slightest reservation, called home.

The only thing that made him think twice over about his position with Jubilee was her opinion of Rogue. He couldn't blame la petite for being upset. On the one hand it was a relief to know that someone besides Storm could see the devastating effects of his lover's ambiguity. Still, there wasn't any need for Jubilee to put herself in the middle like Storm had seen fit to do. It's not as if he needed anyone to intervene on his behalf and confront Rogue with the emotions he'd been holding at arm's length for her sake.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder why Jubilee would even bother going to such lengths for someone she swore up and down she had no connection to. Maybe he had made more of an impact than he thought. Though he wasn't exactly sure if that was a good thing or not.

Whatever the case may be, he was going to have a field day blowing Warren's wings to pieces. Apparently that son of a bitch didn't know when to back off. No wonder he and Jubilee were always at each others' throats! Gambit may have been a ladies man by choice and sometimes trade, but unlike that two-bit snake he knew the limits of his charm, and didn't push anyone past where they were willing to go. It made him burn to think that Jubilee had to fend for herself not only in the streets but the mansion too. It may have made her defenses stronger, but it certainly wasn't doing her any other favors. And it definitely wasn't creating a safe environment.

How could Xavier be so blind to everything that went on right underneath his nose? Did he even care about anything other than saving the world or did he just make it a point to stay out of their personal lives? There were abuses going on of the most vicious kind, and yet somehow they were allowed to continue. The man covered for his X-men in the same damn way the Vatican covered for its offending priests. There was more at stake here than just the fate of mutant kind...

Knowing what he had to do, he effectively ended the session by turning on Emma with blazing pupils. The fire in them told her that he was ready to enter into his friend's mind and bring her out. No one could have been any more determined to get Jubilee back, except perhaps Emma herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two – Tell Me If it's Worth Saving Me<strong>

The Ice Queen, affectionately dubbed so by the young woman who lay under her sole protection, could not afford to make any more mistakes where Jubilee was concerned. She was taking enough of a risk as it was, but as loathe as she was to admit it, she held a certain trust towards the Cajun that she had never had with Wolverine. She could only hope it wasn't misplaced; because if it was, he most assuredly wouldn't live to tell about it.

Emma motioned to the empty bed next to Jubilee and waited as Gambit lay down; making himself as comfortable as one possibly could on the starch white sheets.

"_Brace yourself. This may be a bit uncomfortable."_ She 'pathed, relishing in the fact that she might be the bringer of pain. He was, still partly to blame for this mess, as they all were. Closing her eyes, she reached out with her mind and pulled his mental body apart from his physical one. In an instant, they were far away from the whitewashed walls of the hospital.

Once they were secure in the astral plane, Gambit looked about him wildly. He wasn't used to being out of his element, and frankly it was unnerving.

"_Where she be?" _He asked, half expecting her to pop out of the shadows.

"_That is for you to figure out. I am merely here as a gatekeeper of sorts." _Emma answered.

"_T'anks. Big help. Really." _

_I'm trusting you to go in alone. I fear my presence would only alarm her. Don't make me regret it._

_Wouldn't dream of it. _Remy countered, albeit ironically_. _Without a second glance, he trudged past Emma, walking out into the open space of the astral plane. Hoping against hope that Jubilee was somewhere nearby.

Hues of purple, pink and blue swirled around him, fogging his senses. There was no scenery around him, but in the distance he spied some sort of building, like a menancing tower of doom lording over everything in its path. And there, at the very top of it, he began to make out two figures fighting it out, a battle to the death. With a start he realized just what he was seeing: the clawed, shaggy dead weight of Sabertooth rising over Jubilee, ready to strike her down. And strike he did.

His claws sliced into the same blackened wings he had seen projected earlier. Without so much as a scream, she fell from the very top of the building, speeding towards the ground, too wounded to spread them out and let them carry her down. In an instant, Gambit's feet were pounding against the ground, propelling him forward to catch her as if he didn't have gravity to contend with.

Just from looking at her, she appeared to be asleep. But as soon as his voice called out to her, her eyes shot open and brought life back into her body. With some difficulty she leaned back into the wind, her top half twisted back below her feet as she struggled to open her wings again. This time they spread, flapping uselessly in the wind. But slowing her descent just enough to where Gambit had seconds to get underneath her.

The scene before him unearthed a sudden flashback to the first time he had ever met her. Back when she was only an eighteen year old falling from the second story of a mall. Trying to flee a single sentinel. The girl was forever running from something. Remembering the weight of her body, he reflected that she had felt light to the touch, even then. And as her body eased into his arms, he knew that some things never changed.

"Where ya goin' petite?" He asked casually, as he had all those years before. Hoping for some sort of recognition in those baby blue eyes that had so captivated his attention.

With her body bent into the crook of his arms, she unfolded herself, shocked that she hadn't felt the impact she was clearly expecting. She looked up at him with the most curious expression. Like she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. When her brain caught up with her body, tears dripped silently down her face and she turned her head into his chest to hide them. He almost didn't catch her whispering softly against him: "Anywhere but here."

They were the same words she had whined to him in the mall but this time they were tinged with stone cold regret. It was painful to even hear her speak. But he pushed those thoughts away, along with his anger. There would be plenty of time for that when they were both out of danger.

With Jubilee safe in his grasp, he carried her away from the building she had been trapped inside for God knows how long. In utter exhaustion, she sagged against him, and for the first time, completely surrendered to the comfort he provided. He clutched her to him, trying to keep her warm. Stable. Safe.

But he should have known it wouldn't be so easy to just walk out of her head. He could literally see her demons coming out of the woodwork, and they weren't about to let her leave without a fight.

"Petite, ya gotta help Gambit out, non?" He whispered into her hair. "He can't get us outta here unless you be willin' to face down dese monsters o' yers."

"Can't you see that they've won?" She asked, her tone dead and defeated. "I can't fight anymore."

It was an attitude that Gambit absolutely refused to accept from her.

"Why's dat?" He countered, trying to get her to think.

"I don't have anything left." She croaked out, entirely drained. "I thought death would bring me peace. But I've done nothing but fight since I got here. This can't be all there is."

"Trust Remy, it ain't. But you ain't gonna see dat unless ya quit feelin' sorry for yerself and take de control back into your own hands."

Her eyes were dry and empty as she gave a small laugh. "I tried that and look where it got me." Her tone grew quiet again as she spoke the words that weighed heavily on her soul. "I thought this would be so much easier."

Gambit could think of a thousand arguments, but they all died on his lips as he remembered his time spent in the company of Mary, the wraith that had tried to do him in. When she had wanted to merge with him, he had wanted to die. Welcomed it even. It had taken every last bit of his willpower to end the ghost's life and save his own.

Rogue had been there to witness it. She had seen what her decision had cost him. Had seen the utter desolation as he tried to figure out whether to stay with her or help the being that had, in a way, helped him. In the end he had chosen to forgive his lover, taking her at her word when she said she was sorry. But it still hadn't made it any easier. Living with Rogue these past few years had been harder than any death he could have imagined. But his life meant more to him now than when this whole mess started. And that alone was worth the agony.

Of course, how did you explain that to someone who was in the midst of the very same lion's den?

With wisdom beyond what he felt capable of, he opened his mouth to ask a single question.

"Does yer life mean anyt'ing to ya chere?"

She didn't answer for the longest time, before finally admitting "I have no fucking clue." Ashamed at her own reluctance.

Looking straight down into her face, he finally drove a wedge between her and her self-doubt. "Den fight for de chance ta find out."

"I don't know if I can." She replied, honestly fragile.

Gambit stared into her eyes, willing her to see things as he did. "Looks like you gonna get yer chance ta see. An' if ya won't fight fer yerself, Remy – he gonna fight for ya. Jes dis once. Til ya see fer yerself what you be givin' up."

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three – Awake and alive<strong>

A cold, sinister laugh bounced across the edges of empty space causing Jubilee to whip her head to what had already caught Gambit's attention. Her face grew pale as she was, once again, confronted with the shadowy figure that refused to leave her in peace. Staring up into the face of Bastian himself, Gambit was forced to let her go, hefting her back onto her feet.

He couldn't nor would he fight her battles for her. But that didn't mean he wouldn't do what he could to protect her. Stepping directly in front of her, his eyes flashed as he pulled an ace of spades out of nowhere, lighting it up as a warning.

Bastian went alight with laughter. Gambit could literally feel Jubilee shaking behind him. But whether it was from fear or rage he couldn't say because he was too busy sizing up his opponent and grinning like a mad man. Whatever this thing was – projection or remnant of the real thing – it was severely underestimating the damage he was prepared to inflict.

"So this is to be my replacement?" Darkness flickered across Bastian's face as he spoke, willing the shadows to penetrate the girl's spirit.

Wishing he would shut up already, Gambit figured it was prudent to let Jubilee do the talking. After all, this was her dream world.

"You know nothing about me. You never did." The young Asian asserted forcefully.

"And you think this one does?"

"No. No one knows what I've gone through to get here." Her tone was wilting, breaking off into an angry silence.

"Clever girl. When it comes down it, we both know this is a game that only you and I can play."

"My life isn't a game!" She hissed. "You can't win or lose based on whether I live or die."

"On the contrary. Your death is the ultimate prize."

Instead of taking the bait, Jubilee slammed her eyes shut, forcing herself to envision the exact same environment she had faced him in before. The same place he always found her. Gambit watched, transfixed as the nothingness before him transformed into a smoking compound, surrounded on three sides by mountains and opening into a forest at his back.

Judging from Jubilee's stance, Bastian neglected to pass further judgment, opting instead for the inevitable fight ahead. With a leveled gaze at Gambit, he warmed his hands with balls of energy and sneered one last observation. "It appears the time for words has passed."

"Damn straight." Gambit muttered, throwing a handful of cards out in front of him and signaling for Jubilee to cover him. He was banking on the fact that she would fight for her friends, even if she wouldn't fight for herself. He wasn't disappointed.

Sparks flew from Jubilee's fingertips as she forced herself to comply with the Cajun's command. Her powers didn't appear to be affected on the astral plane as they were in real life. And Gambit was relieved to see some of the old Jubilee filter back into her face as she hit her opponent at the exact same time his cards met their mark. The fusillade created a small diversion as the two began generating surface blows. Gambit's cards making large cracks in the entity's armor, as Jubilee struggled to make something more than a dent.

Bastian merely smiled as he knitted his body back together, blasting the two of them with fireballs. They dodged them expertly until Jubilee began to grown weary. Only then was she knocked off her feet. Staggering back up, she watched in mute horror as Gambit and Bastian continued to go head to head.

The crafty Cajun hadn't even begun to fight. He dodged every fiery assault with cat-like reflexes, never staying still and always attacking. His cards were mere parlor tricks compared to what he could really do if he tried. Though, Jubilee could see that his efforts were intended to wear the cyborg down; what the she couldn't see was that Gambit was busy buying time for her to regenerate her powers. He needed her to be at full strength so he could leave the task of blowing Bastian's brains out entirely up to her. He only hoped she was up for the challenge.

As the cards stopped, the staff came out, charged and ready to hit the ground, exploding whatever was around beneath him. By doing so, Gambit created large craters, effectively putting space between himself and the enemy.

Bastian followed his movements exactly, goaded into an erratic circle, while Jubilee looked on, dumbfounded. What that idiot Cajun failed to realize was that he was making himself a sitting duck. The closer he got to the cliffs, the more he backed himself into a corner. Jubilee could only guess he was doing it on purpose. Putting himself directly in harm's way in order to make her act.

As stupid as that plan was, she couldn't just sit back and let it happen. Picking herself up, she ran swiftly behind Bastian, pushing plasma out of her fingertips into his back. All in an effort to stop the regeneration of his already seriously compromised armor. She was barely in time to redirect the entity's attention as he blew a chunk out of the mountain only inches away from Gambit's head.

Enraged that she had brought another into their feud, Bastian turned on her. With a mighty roar, he shot out, seeking to kill. All the while, Jubilee's eyes bored holes into Gambit's, silently asking for his help. She was trapped in one of those sink or swim situations and felt like she was drowning. That is until she caught Gambit's wink and felt a shock wave of energy rippling towards her. Communicating in no uncertain terms to quit holding back.

Closing her eyes, Jubilee summoned together the last of her strength, and concentrated on the energy field. She could now feel Bastian's positioning with something very akin to echolocation, enabling her to leap out of the way of his assaults. With a will that extended beyond her own, she prepared to pour out the last of her strength to keep Bastian from trapping her inside of herself indefinitely. Manipulating the energy around her, she willed it to detonate only at her command.

Gambit locked eyes with her, charging up his body right along with hers. The ground trembled with the energy that began to emanate from the pair of pyrokinetics. Loud pops resounded in the air around them. A modest warning of what was about to happen.

Realizing the danger he was in, Bastian wheeled around and went straight for Gambit's throat with his tentacles. If he could take this newcomer out, the little brat wouldn't stand a chance.

But Gambit knew only too well that he was about to be used to up the ante like a bargaining chip in a poker match. Making a weak attempt to evade the metal piping, he allowed himself to be caught. Smiling at the fiend's stupidity as it choked the life out of him.

"Who will save you once I lay waste to your pathetic hope of salvation?" Bastian's steely voice cut through the atmospheric tension. "It's time you both reconcile yourself to your fate!"

Taking care to correct his blabbering, Jubilee yelled above the din: "Fate – you bastard – is only what you make of it!"

Right on cue, Gambit slammed his hands on the metal tentacles and charged them up, letting the burn run all the way up to Bastian's shell of armor. The hold that the creature had on him loosened just enough to where he was able to drop out of it unscathed.

As Bastian's body temperature rose beyond any tolerable level, Jubilee lit up the air, making it expand and explode. With a terrible thundering echo, she blew up the shock waves, sending the impact straight towards her torturer, who was standing in the very eye of her hurricane.

The backlash blew them all backwards. Raising a hand to shield his face, Gambit watched as Bastian was incinerated from the inside out. The prime sentinel lay in pieces, too small to regenerate any time in the near future.

Finally la femme would able to rest in peace. If only for a little while.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Four - Wires<strong>

Crawling to his feet, he made his way to the woman who lay gasping on her knees, trying to pull air into her small body. Gambit was immensely proud of the effort she had made, but it would do no good to congratulate her now. This was only the beginning of a long hard road to recovery. And he still had doubts as to whether she would leave with him in order to undergo it.

"Come Petite." He urged, holding his out his hand out. Forcing her to decide where her priorities lie.

As she pulled herself shakily to her feet, Jubilee swayed back and forth, trying to get her bearings. It only took the sound of Gambit's voice to cause her head to snap up in shock.

She couldn't help herself. She was frozen to the spot.

Standing before her was the man that had broken into her mind, and pulled her out of the dark. Only with his help had she been able to successfully combat the voices in her head. He had come all this way just to come get her. And she still didn't understand why. Maybe she didn't even care. All she knew was that she didn't give a flying flip about looking weak or being fucked over. She couldn't hold back what she felt anymore. In that moment, she realized she trusted the Cajun, more than anyone else. And it scared her like nothing else could.

But it made her move. Instinctively she found herself limping towards him. Slowly at first. Then picking up speed until she was going as fast as her legs would carry her. Desperate to close the gap between them. In sheer relief, she threw herself on top of him, wrapping her legs around his waist and hanging on for dear life.

With a laugh, he placed one hand underneath her for support and cradled her head against his shoulder with the other.

"Bout time Chere." The words left his lips almost involuntarily.

Jubilee said nothing, opting instead to bury her head against his neck.

Not another word was spoken between the two of them as Gambit carried her back towards the light of the hospital room where he could clearly see their bodies waiting patiently for their return. Poised above her physical body, he looked down at the sleeping face which seemed to be more peaceful now.

Maddie still kept her vigil. Looking very pleased with herself. With a glance in his direction, she smiled knowingly and motioned for him to let the girl go.

He was about to do just that when he felt the grip around his shoulders tighten. Stroking her hair with one hand, he gave into her need to be coddled. But only for a moment.

"I'm sorry." She rasped in his ear. And he knew she meant it. Even if she had no idea of the grief her actions had caused on the people who actually cared for her. Particularly him.

Bending over, he laid her back into herself, much like one would lay a child into a cradle. Not missing a beat, he swept a kiss onto her forehead before murmuring back smoothly: "Not half as sorry as you gonna be, mon ange."

* * *

><p>French translations<p>

la femme - the woman

mon ange - my angel


	19. Stop For A Minute

_Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men, Marvel does. So don't sue._

**Author's Note:**

I am SO sorry this took me so long to get this out! I had a major case of writer's block and couldn't get the wording like I wanted it to save my life! And that's all on top of having a life, and trying to keep up with work and two classes. My updates will probably be a bit more spaced out, however I am definitely finishing this story. It's one of my favorites to work on, and all of the wonderful reviews have helped me to persevere in my efforts to continue updating it on a regular basis (or at least as much as I can lol). That being said, I am a perfectionist and like to make sure the chapter is on point before I publish! So please continue reviewing! (I take most suggestions/criticisms into consideration when writing - if it fits in the direction I'm going!). Now without further ado - here goes nothing! Enjoy :)

**Song Suggestions:**

Part One: Keane – Is it any wonder

Part Two: Stop for a Minute – Keane feat. K'naan

Part Three: Emergency – Paramore

**Bold: Emphasis**

_Italics: Telepathic Thoughts and Inner Thoughts_

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Is it any wonder?<strong>

The second Jubilee's eyes fluttered open, Moira's team was all over her. A groan escaped her lips as a flurry of activity erupted around the bed she was confined to. Just as she thought she might be able to slip back into unconsciousness, a terrible pressure on her arm pulled her back awake. Groggy and lightheaded, her eyes bobbed back and forth, struggling to make sense of her surroundings.

By the time she was able to focus on specific words and tones, the clearer everything became. Soon the blinding white shadows filling her vision began to match up with the disembodied voices floating past. Another few minutes and she was able to figure out the weight on her arm was nothing more than an incompetant nurse hellbent on cutting off her circulation with a blood pressure cuff.

Deciding instantly that if she was going to be poked and prodded, it was damn well gonna be by somebody who knew what the hell they were doing, Jubilee took her arm and viciously ripped it out from the surprised woman's reach. In one swift motion, the velcro cuff was torn off and thrown to the floor while a stray paff sent it bursting into flames.

Satisfied that her point had been made, Jubilee snapped open her mouth to bawl the glorified candy striper out. She might even have been successful had Moira not chosen that exact moment to shove a thermometer down her throat. Effectively cutting through her tirade, yet doing nothing to dissuade her temper.

If looks could kill, the Scotswoman would have been a smouldering, smoking pile of ash. That is, if she had paying attention to anything other than the frenzied beeping of the heart monitor. Beeping which was becoming increasingly erratic as Jubilee tried to fight down a fresh wave of panic.

Considering everything she'd been through in the last 24 hours, all these nosy doctors were the absolute _last _thing she needed to deal with! You'd think **someone** around here would have known how fucking **stupid** it was to let a former **prisoner of war** wake up in some gigantic **operating** room with **three thousand** people milling about. **Never mind** the fact that she had wires and needles poked through every inch of her damned skin! Were they honestly so short-sighted that they couldn't see how that might the **least** bit stressful to a person **who hadn't planned on waking up at all!**

They were lucky she was still too drugged to go all Jet Li on their asses. Especially considering how crazy she was starting to feel from all the reawakening memories flashing randomly across her mind. Memories which were serving as a constant reminder of what she had tried and failed to do.

Leaving her with all sorts of unanswerable questions in her already dizzied up head. Questions which were seriously weighing her down. Enough to where she was having trouble fending off the orderlies who were attempting to stop her from struggling.

_Seriously – who was Moira kidding?_ _Sending in four burly linebackers to hold her down like that would suddenly help her find inner peace? _She was still so sluggish the best she could do was spit out a few more stray fireworks. But at least that was blinding the bitches long enough to keep them off her tail.

"Hey doc!" Jubilee finally managed to slur, amazed at how drowsy she actually sounded. "Can ya call off the national guard 'fore they get their asses handed to 'em?"

Moira hesistated, but only for a moment before giving the order to stand down. Only because she didn't want to risk further injury to her team or to her patient. Declaring that the girl was only in shock, she allowed Jubilee the time she needed to collect herself.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: Stop for a Minute<strong>

Once the firecracker stopped wasting energy on fighting battles she couldn't possibly win in her present condition, she was able to refocus her efforts on logically assessing her way out of her predicament.

She still didn't know if she was any better off alive than dead. Especially in a place like this. It wasn't like there was some manual she could read on how to cope with a failed suicide attempt. And she obviously didn't know the first thing about adjusting to this new life she had chosen. Nor was there any hope of anyone actually giving her time to adjust. _Not once they found out what she'd done._

Truthfully, it was only a matter of time before the X-men (once again) appointed themselves as her own personal judge and jury. Trying her in a court of their own moral superiority and negating every last truth behind her resentment until they had stripped her of all credibility.

_How was she supposed to stop them from ruining this new life just like they had the old one? _The hole in her heart was only going to implode if she kept having to deal with the guilt and blame which was apparently supposed to sustain her in their perpetual absence.

Just thinking about it made Jubilee's chest deflate like someone had punctured her lung with a straight pin. _There __**had**__ to be some way to get out from under their thumb!_ Problem was it would take weeks – maybe even **months**– before she was strong enough to bust out of this place on her own. Unless she could magically find a way to convince the Cajun to help her. With the right kind of bribe, maybe he might put those identity theft skills of his to good use.

_Of course she'd probably have an easier time trying to convince him that crossdressing would improve his already overwhelming appeal with the ladies._ The man was already so adamant about her staying in this godforsaken place that he'd probably beat her over the head with her own crutches if she tried to leave.

The sad part was, she trusted him enough to know he was right. The physical therapy alone would be a hell of a lot easier here than anywhere else. And if that weren't enough to convince her, she did kind of owe him her life.

_Not that he was likely to let her forget something like that. _

The Cajun might have "trouble" remembering menial things like kitchen and laundry duty, but when it came to people owing him favors, the bastard had a photographic memory. Something she'd quickly learned within weeks of first encountering him. All she'd had to do was ask for his help in covering up one tiny little prank involving bleach and a bottle of Rogue's shampoo. And he'd ended up sticking her with three straight weeks of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the X-Men **and **X-force (who just happened to be visiting at the time).

Jubilee almost smiled knowing she at least had one memory left that wasn't physically painful for to recall._ Yeah…Gambit'd help her alright._ _He'd just end up putting her through hell first_. Evidently, if she wanted any favors from him, she was going to have to play by his rules.

Meaning she was more than likely gonna be stuck here for a little while. And if she had to face a couple of her demons along the way? Well, she would just have to find some way to deal. _Not like she had much of a choice…_

Though if Gambit thought for one second that she was gonna be the only one digging up her past to suit these idiot doctors, he had another thing coming. She wasn't letting him off the hook **that **easily.

Besides, it's not like he would ever admit it to her, but something about getting screwed over by your own teammates really did wonders for one's faith in their fellow mutant. Gambit had probably gotten so used to being the bad guy that Jubilee was sure she'd have to fight to make him see that she didn't share the same doubts everyone else did.

Sure, they each had their own cross to bear. But was there really any sense in both of them being buried underneath the combined weight? Especially when they could help each other shoulder the burden. Okay, so she still wasn't sure exactly what all that entailed. But if it meant having a shot at the type of life that seemed to always elude them, she was up for the challenge.

She just wished she knew how long she was gonna be stuck in this hellhole before Gambit decided she'd finally paid her debt. Despite all her joking, she knew all he really wanted was to make sure that she'd be okay on her own again. Though when and how he would decide that was anyone's guess.

Maybe he would clear her to start training again. Or maybe he'd already figured out that there was no force on earth strong enough to make her go back to Xavier's…or worse yet, join another affiliated team. What then?

Knowing Gambit, he was probably in even less of a hurry to return to the mansion than she was. It's not like she wasn't still turning over her his decision to join her all the way out here on Muir Island when he could have just as easily gone anywhere else. _He'd probably just used her as a convenient excuse to leave the mansion behind before striking out on his own._

Sure, she trusted him with her life now. But that didn't mean he wasn't getting something out of the deal. Still – if it meant he was finally able to put some distance between himself and the family that didn't want either of them around – she supposed she couldn't really blame him. It's not like they weren't both in need of a fresh start.

She, herself, had been with Wolvie long enough to know that the sidekick role was getting to be a real honest-to-god burnout. She was past tired of not being treated as his equal. More like some tag along kid who could be replaced by damn near anyone.

Like Kitty….

Or X…

Or even Yukio…(who Jubilee was fairly certain got to see Logan a hell of a lot more than she did considering she lived on the other side of the freakin' planet.)

Okay, so she wasn't exactly looking forward to striking out on her own, but she figured she could really use the time to herself. Sure Gambit treated her like a partner to some extent, but certainly not an equal. He was still all uber protective. Not to mention pissed. And she wasn't about to intrude on his personal life _or_ interfere in his business once their time together was up. This was **Gambit **after all. Highly guarded. Secretive to a fault. And a loner. Just like her. They'd probably end up killing each other! _Dude seemed more like a postcard kinda guy anyway…_

Of course, all of this stupid plotting of hers was based on the assumption the idiot was still breathing. She really had no idea if he'd made it out of her head unscathed. And it would be just like him to make her think he was in danger. Instigating some twisted form of payback just to make her squirm.

_Fuck him, if it wasn't working too! _ The very idea of losing yet another person she cared about, especially through her own fault, was so completely unendurable that she if she didn't set sights on the Cajun soon, she'd probably end up hyperventilating herself into oblivion.

Until now she'd managed to keep relatively calm – even as her mind raced ahead of her_. _**God**_,_ even that infernal beeping had gone back to normal. But none of that mattered now that the gloves were, quite literally, about to come off. She just hoped she'd stockpiled up enough energy to put up a good fight!

Giving into her insane desire to once again hear the grating sound of Gambit's oh-so-suave southern twang, Jubilee wasted no time in ripping off the instruments and sensors still attached to her body before trying to make a break for it.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three: Emergency<strong>

Moira spun around just in time to see Jubilee make a grab for the IV that was still inserted in her arm. The energetic firecracker was quick enough to evade the annoyed doctor. But nowhere near fast enough to stop the foreign hand that shot out and closed around her wrist a half second before it could reach its destination.

Crying out in fury, Jubilee jerked against Tantie Maddie's vise-like grip. But the older woman refused to let go. The stubborn spiritualist knew exactly why the little _chudut_ was so desperate to leave. Even when her body was too weak to support such efforts.

"Bon Dieu Cherie! He jest sleepin'!" The woman scolded, quickly laying her hand against the firecracker's cheek to pull out just enough energy to keep her still. Once the fighting ceased, Maddie guided her head to view the bed where Remy lay snoring. "Ya gotta let him rest now, d'accord? De poor boy ain't slept in two days t'anks ta you. Si quit fussin' an' let dese doctors do dere job, hein? Be de least ya could do after scarin' us all half ta death!"

"Who **are **you?" Jubilee mumbled feebly, wanting to memorize the name that was about to be added to her permanent shit list. She didn't easily forgive people who came between her and her freedom. Even if the miserable old wretch **did **know how to get under her skin.

One look at Gambit, and her conscience had started kicking her ass. _Kind of ironic considering his supposed lack thereof._

Still, it was enough to make her remove her hand off the IV and stop trying to push away the cretin orderlies who were **still **trying to replace everything she'd wrecked.

"Don' worry chile." The mystery lady taunted, bringing her back to herself. "Ya be gettin' acquainted wit' me soon enough."

Jubilee's eyes flickered with irritation. Clearly this woman and Gambit were related. No one else would be **that** stingy with information. "Is being cryptic some kind of backwoods requirement for you people?" She countered, hoping to get a rise out of the old lady.

But the Cajun woman merely smiled. Her eyes crinkling in amusement as she let her silence speak for itself.

Moira, who had been listening to the whole exchange with a tiresome air, wasn't quite so good-humored. The Scotswoman had heard enough of the wee girl's obnoxious gob to last a lifetime and was simply itching to give the little heifer a taste of her own medicine. Slipping into a bedside manner that had been polished over years and years of dealing with drunks, the red-head laid a gloved hand over Jubilee's still sparking fingertips.

"Don' ye be givin' her another thought lass. She isnae the one ye need te be worryin' aboot now. Ah think ye aught te know ye got some visitors requestin' te see ye as soon as ye're cleared."

Moira watched in satisfaction as the color drained from the bonny girl's face. The corners of her mouth rising ever so slightly as Jubilee started cursing a blue streak. With a practiced ear, she patiently tuned out the "Forget it ya old bat!" and "Don't I get any say in this?", while listening for a change in pitch that would finally signal the girl's lack of oxygen.

By the time Jubilee got to —"I really don't give a damn **who** it is! You just go right back out there and tell 'em I ain't their flippin' charity case!"— the Scotswoman was propping her up on the bed with some extra pillows. Taking advantage of her drained energy to move her around against her will.

It truly was a vain attempt to make her look more presentable. But Moira would settle for any excuse to get under the lass's skin. Not batting an eyelash, the scheming red-head skillfully delivered the final blow. Relishing in its results.

"Ye don' have a choice young lady. Sean's in a right state, panickin' and such. An' Ah'm afraid he's goin' te give Emma a coronary if ye keep 'em waitin' much longer!"

"Sean…**and** Emma?" Sure enough, Jubilee's voice raised to the squeak she'd been waiting for. The lass may have been legal, but the shock of hearing those two names, and coronary in the same sentence was enough to take the wind out of anyone's sails. They were going to have a right field day after what she'd done. And considering the only thing the lass could actually move at the moment was her mouth, there wasn't really much she could do about it. Just thinking about it made all of Moira's efforts completely worth it.

Telepathically, she summoned the two to enter whilst continuing to absentmindedly fluff the pillows around Jubilee's head. All the while ignoring the complaints of the young woman who was doing her absolute best to disappear into them.

"Just what I need after trying to off myself!" Jubilee muttered quietly, shooting the Irishwoman a venomous glare. _Two reasons to freaking try again._

"I heard that Ms. Lee!" Emma's voice shot through her head like a bullet. Perfectly timed with the click of her heels as she strode through the open doorway. "And believe me. When I'm through with you, you're going to beg me to scramble that overactive brain of yours!"

Jubilee couldn't help but sneer in contempt at her former headmistress. "A pleasure as always Frosty." She growled. Oddly subdued considering her inflamed expression.

Despite the unwelcomeness in her tone, Emma maintained a air of decorum. Under no circumstances did she want her former pupil to feel the extent of her relief. But try as she might, she couldn't completely keep it from coloring her tone as she answered: "Likewise Jubilation. Likewise."

Before the enraged firecracker could tell Emma exactly where to stick her concern, Sean Cassidy stalked through the open doorway. All but commanding the words to die on her throat.

No one would have ever guessed that Sean was the real force to be reckoned with. But Jubilee had been under them long enough to know that what Emma lacked in emotional appeal, Sean more than made up for with his fiery temper. _He certainly hadn't earned the nickname Irish for his genius ability to find four leaf clovers._

Pained and infuriated, the man pushed his way past Moira to get to his stubborn surrogate. Before the bewildered girl even had time to blink, Sean had lifted her up halfway off the bed. Crushing her to him as tight as his arms would allow. Try as she might to break free, it was all a lost cause. With every indignant squawk, he only pulled her closer, relieved that she was now safe in his emotional chokehold. It wasn't until he let forth a few muffled wails that she realized he was actually sobbing.

Thoroughly embarrassed, Jubilee tried to joke her way out of his grip. "Geez Cassidy, I get it! We're all happy I didn't die! But do you really want these guys to have to do CPR again if you cut off my air supply?"

Had she known accusing Sean of choking her would send him into overdrive, she would have chosen her words a bit more carefully. Oh, he released her alright! Only to lash into her with the cry of the Banshee. Making damn sure she was intimately reacquainted with his booming voice.

"DON' YE EVER DO THAT TE ME AGAIN YE BARMY GIRL! I DUNNAE CARE WHAT YE WERE THINKIN'! 'TIS NOT WORTH TAKIN' YER OWN LIFE! DO YE HAVE ANY IDEA THA SHEER PANIC YE CAUSED? HOW WORRIED YE MADE US?"

Jubilee cast a weary eye at Emma, trying to look anywhere but Sean's fiery scowl. The distrust on her face was evidently not lost on him.

"AYE **US**YE CRAZY BIRD! IF IT WERENAE FOR EMMA YE WOULDNAE EVEN BE HERE RIGHT NOW! NOT TO MENTION GAMBIT, KURT AN' MOIRA WHO BROUGHT YE BACK AFTER YE DECIDED TE TAKE A BREAK FROM BREATHIN'! HONESTLY WOMAN! IF YE DUNNAE CARE ABOUT YER OWN LIFE, D'YA THINK YE COULD CARE ABOUT THOSE O' US WHO THINK YER WORTH THE TROUBLE TRYIN' TE SAVE?"

He broke off then, panting in fury as he savagely gripped her shoulders, staring her down. His bright blue eyes pleading with her own.

To say Jubilee was stunned was the understatement of the century. Sure, Irish had always been a bit of a preachy basketcase when it came to her safety. But he'd never broken down on her before.

All of a sudden she was having trouble remembering all the reasons she'd had to die. _What __**had**__ she been thinking? Because it certainly wasn't about the few people she might actually might give a damn about hurting._

Before she could reflect any further, however, a glistening shimmer got caught in the corner of her vision. Slowly, she raised her head to stare at it in wonder. Unable to believe what she was seeing, she tried rubbing her eyes to make it go away. But it made no difference.

The light was still there. Reflecting off of a single diamond as it dripped down Frosty's face and clattered softly against the floor. To Jubilee's abject horror, she realized even more were coming to take its place.

Over and over again, the same question resurfaced.

_What. Had. She.** Done? **_

Sean's teary outbursts were one thing. Those she might be able to handle with a little bit of dignity. But **Emma's?** She was the freakin' **Ice Queen** for a reason. She **never **cried! Not even after she'd put a crater through her own sister's chest! Looking at her now, though, you'd think she actually **cared** about something other than her own pride!

That was all it took for Jubilee's rock hard resolve to finally crumble. Two words instantly sprang to mind, but she wasn't sure how to express without seeming like even more of an ass.

"I'm sorry?" She tried, patting Sean's back awkwardly. It didn't seem to be all that helpful as he still was still bawling away quietly – even as he pulled her back to his chest and buried his face against her hair.

Only Emma's shaking voice reverberated above the din. _"I cannot wait for you to learn what that truly means Jubilee." _

In that instant, the young woman knew something fundamental had changed between them. In all the years she had known her, Emma had never once used her preferred name. More importantly, she also wasn't trying to throw her weight around as Miss Ice Queen Supreme, ruler of the universe.

This was a side of Emma that Jubilee had never seen before. Hell! She was willing to bet **no one **had ever seen it before! And that could only mean one thing.

That she – Jubilation Lee – had finally managed to do the impossible. Proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that the untouchable Emma Frost did indeed have a heart. And more than that, it was actually **breakable**.

_Man! Talk about your once in a lifetime opportunities!_

She would not have believed it herself, had her surprise visit to death's door not just single-handedly driven Frosty into her own personal brand of hysterics. An act which defied every single law of the known universe.

The freaked out firecracker was only one step away from calling back in the orderlies herself. Just in case she really did need a straight jacket...

* * *

><p>Gob – Mouth<p>

Chudut – One who is small in size but uses all of their resources to pull one over on their opponent. (Literally translates to little shit)

Barmy - Crazy

d'accord - Agreed

hein - eh?

Si - So


	20. Rise Above

_Disclaimer – I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue. _

**Author's Note:**

This was originally meant to all be part of Chapter 19. But I ended up writing so much, I had to break it into two chapters. I ended up having to fix a lot of the bold and italics, so hopefully I got everything. If not, it's 4:00 in the morning my time, so cut me some slack.

**Song Suggestions:**

Part One: Best of You – Foo Fighters

Part Two: Rise Above – Reeve Carney feat. U2

Part Three: Stand Together – Nickelback

**Bold – Emphasis**

_Italic – Telepathic or Inner Thoughts_

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Is Someone Getting The Best of You?<strong>

Although her former pupil's panicking train of thought was amusing, Emma took no pleasure in it. The situation was far too serious for that. Collecting herself, she prepared to treat the little thorn in her side just like the adult she had truly become.

"I trust you are feeling better." The White Queen conceded, telepathically waving a white flag. "However, I suppose the fact that you are still in one piece is proof enough of that. Or rather, it will have to do considering we much have much to discuss."

Jubilee's mouth fell open so wide you could see her tonsils. Emma's commanding tone was so matter of fact that she should have been addressing the President of the United States. Not a twenty-something year old with a death wish.

_Yeah, she was definitely gonna need that straight jacket alright…_**For Emma!** __You'd think the woman would start to show signs of distress from holding back all of those perfectly polished threats and expletives. But she wasn't even breaking a sweat!__

Looking around fearfully, Jubilee took note of any sharp objects that were still within the telepath's reach. Just in case Emma decided to finish the job she had been foolish enough to start.

With Jubilee's shields operating at a lesser capacity in her current state, Emma was able to pick up just enough of her thoughts to be thoroughly insulted.

"Will you **please **calm down! Don't think for a minute I'll be doing you any such favors! The very idea– " She muttered, unable to endure the callousness with which the girl viewed her own life.

As if on cue, that "girl's" mouth rediscovered a mind of its own. Something that usually happened whenever anyone had the nerve to use calm and down in the same breath. "What exactly do we have to discuss Emma?" Jubilee demanded. "I'm not your foster problem anymore."

"Not our **problem**? Is that really how you see yourself?" the White Queen asked incredulously.

"How could I **not**? All you've done is bounce me back and forth between Xavier and X-Factor. Which is really insulting considering nobody seems to know how to deal with their own teams. Let alone me."

Sean intervened before Emma could. He knew the lass was going to need to hear more than just the same old excuses for why things had happened the way they did. So when he saw the opportunity to set the record straight between the three of them, he took it. While Emma looked on in guilt.

"Lass, tha only **problem** is that we didn' really try te get te know ye. Not since after ye were taken. If we werenae so busy tryin' te force ye te open up and move on like tha others, maebe we would have noticed tha trouble ye were havin' sooner. 'Tis true, we had no idea what tha X-men were puttin' ye through. But we didnae try te find out either. Instead of addressin' tha problem, we tried to work with Charles te put limits on ye. Te keep ye safe. Only we had no idea it would come te this. Aye! We still want what's best for ye lass. But we've given ye no reason te believe it."

"After all the things you've been through it's a wonder you're still talking with us at all." Emma mused.

"Yeah, well. I'm still here aren't I?" Jubilee offered grudgingly.

"Do tell." Emma deadpanned. "Is that why you decided to kill yourself? Because you thought we didn't want you? That we wouldn't understand what you were going through?"

The sparkler was still trying hard to see past the bias she held towards them. But that didn't stop her from going postal at such a ridiculous suggestion. "Get real Frosty! You really think I'm gonna jab a needle in my arm because nobody 'gets' me? I think my problems are a little more complex than your regularly scheduled teenage angst **thank you very much. **But hey! You should know right? I mean you broke into my head enough times trying to figure me out! Well congratulations. I decided to throw you a fuckin' bone.****"****

"And indeed you have!" _Though I'd be more inclined to call it a fossil considering how long you've been sitting on it! _"Consequently, I've learned more about you in the past 48 hours than I have in the entire time since your ordeal with Bastian. And while that clearly gives you every reason to put your trust elsewhere…" Emma's eyes flicked to the Cajun, looking as though she'd been force fed a bottle of vinegar before darting back to Jubilee's. "You have also shown me that you still hold both of us in enough regard to put me in a very precarious position. One which I fully intend to exploit as the sole executor of your 'will' "

Jubilee flinched. Finally Emma had struck a nerve that mattered. Even now, she didn't regret a lick of what she'd allowed the telepath to see. But that didn't mean she was anywhere near ready to deal with the aftermath. With a disparaging sigh, the exhausted Asian flung herself back on the pillows, wishing she could just slip back into unconsciousness and avoid the issue altogether.

The White Queen didn't have to be a mind reader to know what her protégé was thinking. But that didn't stop her from pressing the issue. "They have to know Jubilee."

Squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to avoid some tear-eyed response, the firecracker replied in tandem. "Look, just save yourself the trouble, okay? It won't work as long as I'm still breathin'. All they're gonna do is lock me up here and blame me for causing all the problems **they** started._"_

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Emma vowed. The certainty of that promise being one she intended to honor with every fiber of her being.

Jubilee, however, wasn't phased. Suddenly her eyes shot back open, and she had to fight to get the words out past the gasping breaths she was forced to take. "Don't you get it? The only reason I let you see what you did is because Xavier won't listen! The only way he'd hear anything I had to say is if **I **wasn't the one saying it. And even then he wouldn't **do** anything about it. He says he wants what's best for his X-men, but it ends up being about what's best for the dream. What happens under his own roof doesn't matter! It's all about coming together for the "greater good". Focusing on some lofty goal to keep us from killing each other!"

"Are you saying that you no longer place your trust in Charles?" Emma inquired with a raised brow.

"I'm saying I don't believe in his bullshit anymore! Humans don't want to live in peace with me. Or each other. And neither do mutants! It's all just one big stupid war brought on because **people** like to sides isn't going to change that! I just wanted to do something that would friggin' help **me **for once! Not the humans who want to murder me or the mutants who – family or not – treat me like I don't even fucking matter!"

For the first time, Emma caught a glimpse of the darker implications behind her words, and wondered what exactly the woman before her was really hiding. Wisely, however, she sidestepped that issue, focusing instead on the more important one. "I still don't understand how you thought death would, in any way, shape, or form,** help** you.**"**

"I tried to stay with the X-men – to prove that I was one of them. But they didn't want me. All I wanted was to be treated as a valuable member of the team. But they turned me into the fucking black sheep."

Emma watched with concern as her ward's lids grew heavy under the weight of all the emotion she was trying to hold back. Her lack of comment betrayed nothing of her determination to make the others see what she was now a witness to.

Drawing a hate filled breath, Jubilee continued with the most superficial explanation she could possibly come up with. "I can't keep going back to them like some needy little kid. I needed to get as far away from them as I could! For my own sanity! It was the only way to leave them behind. The only way to make them see what they were doing while allowing myself to forget."

"Your explanation leaves much to be desired." Emma maintained. "But I won't try and force you to entrust me with a more satisfying answer. It is a method that has failed me in the past, and I won't let my own frustration come between you and your right to privacy." Emma relented. "So long as your actions don't have **terminal **consequences, you don't have to justify them to me. Or to the X-men. Nor anyone except those whom you see fit to."

"Does this mean this little Q&A is over?" Jubilee asked expectantly.

Emma and Sean both stared her down. "Hardly. Your breach of contract has rendered any hope of that null and void."

_Should have seen that one coming… _The girl 'pathed miserably.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: Rise Above<strong>

Emma ignored her comment. Choosing instead to acknowledge the cry for help that the unsuspecting firecracker laid out before her. "What you are asking for, dear, is the chance to be selfish. And rightfully so. I don't think any of us are in a position to deny that to you. Hence, what you decide to do from this point is entirely up to you. I, however, will not stand idly by and let such injustice prevail. Whether you choose to involve yourself or not, the X-men will be confronted. One way or another."

Any hope Jubilee had held out at being able to decide her own fate was crushed under Emma's reasoning. All she wanted was to be left alone. But it didn't look like that was ever going to be an option. Not if Emma wanted to blow this whole stupid thing wide open.

The young woman fought back against the despair that threatened to overpower her. _It was bad enough to have to deal with her own mess. Let alone having to deal with everyone's reactions to what was probably, right this second, being deemed an overblown hissy fit. _Or atleast it would be until they saw her last will and testament.__

"Just forget it Emma." Jubilee's tone was so dull and listless, it was like all the feeling had been sucked right out of her. "Showing them all that stuff now would just put me back in the spotlight. Which is the one place I never wanted to be. Besides, I doubt even you could convince Xavier and the others that their problem is an internal one."

Up until now, Emma had let the** adult **before her have some semblance of control over her own situation. But such blatant despondency from one of the most promising students she'd ever had the pleasure of butting heads was beyond unacceptable. She would not allow this impudent **brat,** who had never backed down for **any** reason, to simply **give up** without acknowledging the fight that was still buried somewhere deep inside of her.

Narrowing her eyes, Emma Frost drew herself up to her full height, fixating on Jubilee with such intensity that the young woman unconsciously shrank away_. "_You may severely underestimate yourself Jubilation. But you shall not do the same with me. I may not be the 'low-down, back-stabbing, money-grubbing corporate shark' I once was. But let me assure you, when it comes to my students, I am **far** more dangerous. I needn't remind you that you are talking to the woman who once held the Hellfire Club in the palm of her fist! Xavier is a mere trifle comparably. I **do not** answer to him. Neither do I answer to **anyone** on that team. But they **will** answer to **me.** I don't plan on letting this go just as easily as you have. Still, if you think me so incapable, why don't you try actually doing something about it!"

"Damn it Emma! I'm not letting this go because I **want** to. I'm letting it go because I have no choice! The others will use me as a scapegoat. **Xavier** will use me as a scapegoat. Even if you hide me away on this godforsaken island, they'll still find a way to get to me! They already treat me like I'm crazy! What's gonna happen when they figure out I can't be salvaged by their warped delusions?"

"Do you honestly think I would let the others anywhere **near **you? That ****Gambit ****would allow them to have that kind of influence after he went through all that trouble of bringing you back from the****** **dead? ********You have a voice Jubilee. And it deserves to be heard."

"Yeah, that's kind of why I want to stay off the radar. So I actually get to keep it without being disowned and discredited!"

"So this is what you've allowed your life to be reduced to?" Emma challenged. "You would rather commit suicide to spare yourself the rejection rather than stand firm in your own heartfelt convictions with the people who **truly **care about you?"

"That's not what this is about!" She hissed.

"Then what is it about? You're telling me you went through all this trouble to bring about change. Well you've made your points loud and clear. Points which your so-called family needs to hear. They need to see where they have failed you. And failed themselves. Just as Sean and I have. Or are you too much of a coward to make them see what they've done without using your own life as bait?"

The Asian's gut wrenched painfully. She wouldn't tell Emma that no matter what the X-men had done to her, she was still afraid of being responsible for their deaths. Of being caught and tortured for information she no longer wanted to possess. How much easier would it be for her to crack under pressure if she had no more motivation to keep her family's secrets? She had no intention of being tortured again for the sake of her family. Nor raped for the sake of her origin.

Tears fell as Jubilee's shoulders began to shake. Sean had long since let go of her, content to sit quietly beside her on the bed. Now he grasped her hand tightly in his, willing her to open herself to the pain, since her life, quite literally, depended on it.

"What are ye so afraid of lass? Ye have ta tell us yer reasonin'. We arenae the ones who want te keep ye in the dark. But we'll do everythin' we can in order te help ye. Tha way we shouldave te begin with."

Jubilee could feel his sincerity in her bones. And she could hear how much Emma echoed that sentiment in her own mind. So, in a moment of weakness – or perhaps wisdom – she relented just enough to explain a part of herself to the people who truly deserved to know.

"Look, all I wanted to do was make the X-men think twice about how they treat their own. So I tried to confront them with a truth they couldn't just brush off or send away. My death should have been a catalyst – making them change the way they saw me and what I'd been trying to tell them all along. Figured nobody could really shut me up or ship me out if I was dead, ya know? I thought it would make more of an impact."

Emma pursed her lips, trying to keep the creeping shriek out of her voice. "Let me get this straight Jubi**lee. **You attempted to commit** **suicide ****because you thought**** **death ******was the only way anyone would take you******** **seriously."**********

"Well it sounds kinda stupid when you say it like that."

"Good!" Emma all but shouted.

"You know it's true though!" Jubilee yelled right back. "The others think I'm some crackpot emo teenage wannabe who can't hold her own! They have no idea what I've gone through to protect their ungrateful asses!"

"I guarantee that while the others will be reminded of those mistakes at every possible opportunity, what they choose to learn from them is virtually irrelevent compared to what **you **learn."

"**Oh no! **I am NOT going out there and starting some counter movement just because I have a couple of issues with Xavier. Don't turn this into something that doesn't even have to fucking do with me!"

"I'm not talking about changing the world Jubilee. I'm talking about changing yourself. What you need to do is take what you've being given; learn from what you've been denied; and use them both to make the necessary changes that will ensure your own resiliency. Rather than allowing yourself to be destroyed by such resentment."

Jubilee opened her mouth to argue, but Emma kept on. Not allowing her the chance to sway any further in a direction that was pointless. "Yes. **Resentment. **If you wish to talk about someone defying the very laws of the universe, perhaps we should start with how despondent you've allowed yourself to become. You've created this void simply because you fear the limitlessness of your own anger, and the power that it creates within you. All of those years we've spent at each other throats, you've been without direction. So afraid of your own power, that instead of accepting and dealing with it, you channeled it towards safer outlets." _Such as my limited patience. _"It's been building all these years, growing without a target."

"That is until tahnight when ye decided that all yer anger was so deadly ye had te take it out on yerself rather than settlin' tha score with tha people an' things that caused ya harm."

"Naturally, instead of owning up to your own potential, you sought to destroy yourself. Hoping it would take away your own responsibility in the matter."

"Well, assuming that's even true…how the hell do you expect me to fix something like that?"

"**Fight. Back. Jubilation." **Emma commanded, more fearsome in her reproach than Sean could ever hope to be. "Don't be deceived into thinking that you'd be better off dead than temporarily out of control."

"How can you possibly know if that's true?" The chastened young woman finally whispered. "I could fucking kill people. I could kill my family. And the worst part is I don't even know if I have it in me to care anymore."

"There are ways to work around that. Ways to harness your aggression so that it doesn't destroy you and everything in your path. If that sacred cow knew anything about what I can teach you, perhaps she wouldn't feel the need to upset the balance of the universe quite so often."

"What if I become just like her?" Jubilee whispered, almost inaudibly.

"A possibility perhaps. But one that would never happen. For one thing, darling, you have taste. But more than that, you have a conscience. One that isn't ruled by the selfish desires or foolish ambitions of any entity. Though whether you choose to believe that is on your head."

"Really? I'm getting lectured on the fact that I have a heart by the Tin Man?"

"Yes, well I won't be so blind as to say had you simply come to me, this whole ridiculous plan of yours could have been circumvented earlier."

Jubilee stared at her former mentor as if she'd grown two heads. "Woah! Woah! **Woah! **Hold the **phone!** All those times you tried to play mother hen and break into my head for info…and now you're telling me I was actually right not to trust you?"

"You needn't sound so incredulous about it..." Emma grumbled, even though she realized that her admission was nothing short of a miracle. "While it's not an easy thing to admit defeat, even I can see the error of my ways. One of which was assuming Xavier would take care of you when we left you behind to look for the others. Not to mention our trying to make up for it in all the wrong ways, and letting ourselves be ruled by guilt rather than what was best for you."

Repressing the urge to pinch herself, Jubilee looked up in awe before Sean piped in. "It's nae everyday that ye get Emma ta grovel. Best enjoy it while ye can."

Jubilee almost laughed. Almost. But the shock of seeing a smile on her face was enough to satisfy him.

"Aye lass. I'm jest happy te see ye safe. I know I kin go overboard on followin' tha rules because I dunnae want ye ta be hurt. But I failed te see that keepin' ye under house arrest was actually hurtin' ye more than helpin'."

"Is that why didn't you let me train? Because you were afraid I'd get **hurt? **Do you think you could freakin' trust me enough to tell me what's going on with my own powers now that you know I'm not gonna keel over?"

"Well..."

"Well** what**?"

"See Ay'd love te tell ye lass. But as of today, it's nae in our jurisdiction ta do so."

"What do you mean '**not in your jurisdiction?'" **The sparkler exploded.

"Starting today Jubilee, you are no longer under our care." The white queen clarified, delivering the shock with an air of precision.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three: We Must Stand Together<strong>

Stumbling over all the whys, whens, and what the fucks, Jubilee took a few minutes to get actual words out.

With a crafty smile, Emma watched as her prized pupil choked on her own spit. "You've got what you wanted Jubilee. You're going to be training with Monsieur (_and I use that term loosely) _Lebeau. You've made the decision to take your life in your own hands. Which I can only assume must imply that you're now ready to take control of your powers. It's past time we stopped holding you back for fear of what you can do."

"Fear of what I – ?"

"Your powers are evolving Jubilee. Some due in part to Bastian's experimentation, and some due to your own evolution. In short, we are training you as an Alpha class."

"With **Gambit?" **She asked weakly. Almost skeptically.

Emma sighed wearily. "Yes. Against my better judgment."

"But **why**? Don't tell me you guys are all buddy buddy just cuz you all decided to gang up on me."

"Give us some credit Jubilation. Such an alliance would simply be profane!" Emma sniffed. "Still, who else would you suggest? He has a shared experience with you that we cannot hope to imitate. And we can't ignore that your pasts and powers are both incredibly…similar. He certainly would not have been my first choice. But due to your reliance on him," _which I still don't fully understand, _"you practically chose him for us. Given how difficult your trust is to earn, we respect your decision. You are, after all, an adult."

"Now just hold on a damn minute here."

"Yes dear?" Emma asked, practically gloating now.

"Let me get this perfectly straight. You're passing up the chance to yell at me. You're basically telling me I'm the victim in all this. Which, loosely translated means that you **aren't **gonna lock me up here for life** **or ****send me to another team? And you're entrusting me to the hands of someone who would otherwise be your sworn enemy?"

"Yes I believe that sums it up."

**"Have you lost your mind?"**

Jubilee could scarcely believe the hearty laugh that bubbled up and out of Emma's chest.

"On the contrary! I believe I'm rather going to enjoy this arrangement." She chortled. "Oh, don't think I've gone soft just because I haven't threatened you or given you the dressing down you most humbly deserve. Such punishments are reserved for children. And that is one thing you have proven yourself not to be." _Despite your track record. _"Now that you are ready to take on the full responsibility of your powers, you should know that whatever you imagine me putting you through pales in comparison to what you new **ami **has in store for you once you can move without injuring yourself."

A sinking feeling plagued the Asian as she tentatively looked over across the room to where the Cajun still lay, snoring away. Though just a little bit lighter than before. Jubilee would have been willing to bet her whole life savings he'd been eavesdropping the entire flippin' time. She still didn't know whether to greet the jackass with a huge hug or a hard right hook_. But that last one was starting to look pretty fucking good._

_If only it had a prayer of actually saving her! _Despite all his charm and good looks, the man had anger issues second only to Wolverine's. Jubilee would have snorted at the stupid nickname Logan had pegged him with years back. At least, she would have if she weren't so ridiculously scared of what the "Ragin' Cajun" was gonna do once he had her physical body close enough to pummel.

"Does Xavier know anything about this?" Jubilee ventured, trying to gauge exactly what sort of deal had been struck.

Emma was impressed at her astuteness, deciding it was finally safe to let in her in on their little secret. "As far as Charles knows, recruiting Remy to train you was his idea. Though you should know Lebeau sought us out long before the actual thought was planted by yours truly."

"So…Gambit's really not getting anything out of this? You didn't bribe him or anything?"

"His desire to help us investigate Xavier was bribe enough. The only thing he's getting out of Charles is a promise to stop making the mistake of leaving behind valuable team members. As well as a favor to be determined by the three of us, when the time is right. Though, as far as Charles knows, he is acting on his own on that account."

"And I'm assuming you told him about my powers?" Jubilee was still seething at the fact that everyone knew about what was going on with them except her. But bitching them out would have to wait for a time when she didn't feel so damned drained.

"Xavier did that for us." Emma clarified. "There was no need to let Remy know any earlier than necessary. He knew the risks involved, and abided by them. Consequently, he was more worried about upsetting you unnecessarily. We all thought it was best to let things progress naturally. And had that sacred cow not gotten wind of your condition...perhaps things would have gone differently. _Coup d'etat my foot!_ If Gambit hadn't been keeping us informed, I don't know what could have happened."

"Oh." Was all Jubilee could think to say. Her eyelids were growing heavy again. This time with shame. All she felt able to do was sleep away the guilt that now plagued her worse than ever. It was easier than facing up to it awake.

Emma and Sean sensed it was time to go. Clasping Moira (who had come back to relieve them) by the hand, Sean dropped a quick kiss on top of the appendage, thanking her for all she'd done.

Jubilee's eyes were already closing by the time the two left their place on either side of her bed. Right before she passed out, Emma's _sweet dreams _echoed throughout her strangely emptied head.

* * *

><p>C'oup d'etat - A takeover (Literally an overthrow of government, but in this case it applies to the X-men ganging up on Jubilee)<p> 


	21. It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

**Disclaimer:** The X-men belong to Marvel. Not me. So don't sue.

**Song Suggestions:**

Part One – Just Like A Pill - Pink

Part Two – The Fixer – Pearl Jam

Part Three – Shake It Out – Florence and the Machine

* * *

><p><strong>Part One - Just Like A Pill<strong>

Gambit flipped another card into the waste basket by Jubilee's bed, watching it fizzle away to nothing. With an impatient huff, he dropped his head back against the metal wall. His lungs still trying to make sense of all the fresh air they were being forced to take in.

Screw the girl! This damn no smoking policy was gonna be what put him six feet under. Special thanks to Moira who'd seen fit to relieve him of all three of his stashes while he slept. Just thinking about it made his teeth grind. Forcing him to lock his jaw against all the onlookers in the control room. Not like there weren't better ways to cause damage than a little second hand smoke. _Seemed kind of stupid not to take the explosives too. _

His eyes drifted towards the IV drip. Again. Almost out, _Merci Dieu_. Else Moira'd be hunting him down for all the more creative ways he had of keeping himself entertained. And, now that he was actually awake enough to think straight, his brain was coming up with all sorts of intriguing ideas.

Per usual, a day or two of sleep was all he needed to feel like himself again. Not Jubilee though. The girl had been off and on for the better part of a week. _Better enjoy it while she could too._ 'Cause once she **finally** woke up, those kid gloves he'd been treating her with were coming off_._

Unable to wait the extra five minutes it would take for her to come to, he decided to see how fast it would take Moira to come running if he sped up the process un peu. With a salute to the control room, he began cranking up each card with a bit more juice than necessary. Smiling as they detonated against the can. Loud enough to create a disturbance. Small enough to contain the damage.

In no time at all, the Firecracker's eyelids were fluttering. Words pooling at the corners of her mouth. Moira didn't even make it past the control room door.

Making sure that Jubilee stayed acutely aware of his position, Gambit rose. Calling out as he measured his steps to defend against the inevitable fireworks. "Time ta wake up petite. Gambit t'ink you slept enough for one lifetime." He warned. All the while gaining ground.

The insistence in his tone made the girl crack open a lid. Although the bright lights shining directly into her eyeball made her regret it. Blinking back the watery agony, Jubilee shifted around and slung an arm up over her face – trying to shield herself from the unwelcome onslaught. Far as she could tell, some big brown blur was trying to talk to her. It just had to be her imagination working over time again. Or at least, that's what she tried to tell herself right up until whatever it was was practically standing on top of her. Casting enough of a shadow for her to see without squinting.

"Nice ta move widdout dem wires, eh petite?" A familiar voice roused her the rest of the way awake.

"Gumbo?" She yawned. Gingerly lowering her arm. "Whass goin on?"

Gambit looked down in disgust. _Figures her vocal chords would comprehend the situation faster than her brain._

"You tell moi." He spat. Meaning every word, and making it look good for the sake of all the prying eyes. "One minute ya forcin' Remy ta listen t'ya go off like de fool you ain't, an' next t'ing he know, he gotta track down yer unresponsive hide all over de astral plane."

_Shit._ She should have known better than to hope for pain meds. Or even food. But was it asking too much for a few pleasantries? She didn't think she'd be waking up quite so soon to a pissed off Cajun giving her the evil eye. _And bloody hell was he pissed…_

Just standing there with his arms crossed. Not saying much of anything unless you counted that 'eat shit and die' look plastered all over his face.

_Maybe if she played dumb_…. "Seriously? Coulda sworn I hallucinated that part..."

Remy only stared her down. Looking like he didn't believe a word that was coming out of her mouth.

_Smart man. _She thought as he began to rip her a new one.

"Go play! Dat all ya got **petite**? Best quit actin' like ya ain't all dere. Dat shit fly past de X-men easy, but it ain' gon' work wit' moi. _Merde._ Much as Remy like ta t'ink all dis be a dream, he been through enough crap ta know it ain't. Dis Cajun still be tryin' ta recover from dat estie 'wake up call' ya be tryin' ta give."

Crazy as it was, the lengths he had gone through to save her hit her like an oncoming freight train. His sincerity had always been what had allowed him to get as close as he did. But she couldn't help still feeling bothered by it - forever afraid of what was hidden underneath. Whatever he'd done for her - there had to be a better reason than the kindness in his little Cajun heart. Question was: had she really fucked him over with this suicide attempt? Or had she just interfered with some larger plan that for whatever reason happened to involve her?

The guilt of including him at all gnawed on her brain like a dog with a day old bone. Making her take a few seconds to wrap her head around it all, as she tried to put her doubts into words. All that came out was "Why?" Trying harder, she began to formulate a more substantial accusation. Something like: "Why do you give a fuck what happens to me when nobody else does?"

Despite whatever words had tumbled out of her mouth, Gambit heard the meaning loud and clear. He didn't have to think before responding: "Remy apris la voie dure une fois." Though he only translated what was necessary. "He not in de habit of makin' de same mistakes twice."

"In anglaisse si voo play?"

Gambit resisted the urge to knock her upside her fool head. Mostly for the butchering of his parent language. But also because doing business with people was enough of a risk without letting them in on your whole life story. Never mind that that he was being forced to explain himself to someone who wasn't ready for what he had to say. Unfortunately, if he wanted to earn her trust, that's exactly what he was going to have to do. He just wouldn't be doing it all at once.

With a bitter sigh, he tried to appeal to her more common of senses. "It means _petite_, dat de only difference between Remy an' de X-men is dat Remy be tryin' ta make up fer de mistakes he make. De X-men be traitors too – dey jes don' admit it. Be more concerned wit' dere reputation, dat bunch. T'ink dey can reform de ones dat hate 'em an' control de ones dat don't. So quick to punish dey own, but givin' dere enemies special treatment."

His fists were clenched up so hard, Jubilee began to wonder if he was gonna bleed out right then and there. Even as her heart squeezed up right along with them. The X-men's 'outreach' program was still a real sore spot. Sad thing was, there had been a time when she had believed such interventions could work. She wasn't quite so naive anymore.

It had only taken Magneto – a mutant who had called for the death of all who opposed him (humans and mutants alike) to make her change her mind. Dude got his mind wiped (or so he claimed). And instead of having to answer for those crimes, he was accepted into the mansion with open arms. All because he was a friend of Xavier's! It also didn't hurt that he was endorsed by Rogue (who made goo goo eyes at him instead of the boyfriend he'd sentenced to die). And even that wasn't as bad as when the Professor all but invited Sabertooth into the mansion. Discrediting Logan's instincts over a 'personal vendetta' and damn near killing them all in the process.

Sure, Gambit's experience was way more personal. _But damned if she was gonna let him bleed all over her because of it. _Only because his fist was so close to her head, did she reach up and work her finger underneath the space between his thumb and forefinger. Staring at a fixed point in space, Gambit was too busy trying to minimize a blowout to notice. Making sure to keep his back to the control room and his face a blank slate, it wasn't until he felt Jubilee push up against the bone of his hand - hurting him to the point of awareness - that he dropped the act. Coming back with a vengeance.

"Much as Gambit deserve what he got, it **ain'** what shoulda happen. Remy betray a lot o' people chere. Mais he learn his lesson after it come back to bite him in de ass one too many time. De X-men still be workin' on dat. An' Gambit aim ta help 'em along."

"So why not just leave? It's not like you owe me anything 'cause the others are idiots. Hell, ya didn' even really care all that much 'til ya decided to go all MacGuyver with a lockpick."

Gambit shook his head. Willing her to be a bit less self absorbed. "Remy may keep to himself most days, but he ain' blind chere. He be seein' problems 'fore you even acknowledge dey exist. An' contrary ta what ya might t'ink, dis ain' all about you."

"That still doesn't explain...Not after what they did..."

"Much as Gambit **love** to answer dat question, dis ain' all about moi eider. You ever t'ink about what we really done ta deserve all dis petite? Sides bein' willin ta die fer de ones we love? Mais dat don' even mean much if nobody care what happen to ya. T'ing is, we both be wagin' battles don' nobody else know nothin' about. One be guilty. De other be innocent. Yet we still sufferin' de same consequence. Remy hopin' when all dis get over an' done wit', mebbe ya be willin' ta hear him out."

"No time like the present right?" Jubilee scoffed. More at the X-men's expense than his.

Knowing this wasn't the time or the place, Gambit easily brushed her off. "Askin' Remy ta spill his guts now, be like askin' a dealer ta trust a junkie wit' his stash. Ain't givin' moi no reason ta trust ya. An' til ya do, ya ain' goin' nowhere. Comprends?"

"Like you guys haven't made that painfully clear." Jubilee muttered.

The girl was getting ready to throw herself a gigantic pity party until Gambit leaned in conspiratorially – placing his mouth right up against her ear to hiss: "Den do yerself a favor chere. Tell Gambit what he need ta know so we kin take dis show on de road."

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2: The Fixer<strong>

His proximity caused her mood to take a sharp U-turn. Despite the obvious implications, it took almost all of her willpower not to paff him right then and there. "What the hell do you **need ta know** that ya haven't already overheard?"

"Smarter den ya be actin. Dat fer damn sure." Gambit muttered, loud enough for her hear. He pulled back then. Tempering his exasperation so he could spell it out for their audience. _Like they hadn't been vigilant enough with all those fucking surveillance cameras they'd had trained on him ever since the day he got there. _

"Remy not interested in why **petite**_._ More like how. Startin' wit' how long ya been plannin' dis shit. An' ya best come clean now. 'Fore ya start testin' dese people's limits. 'Cause de longer ya have ta stay here, de more o' a problem dat gon' be."

"No one's forcing you to stick around y'know. Oh, and take it from someone whose heard enough 'threats' to write a friggin' manual – you're losing your touch."

The fact that she used air quotes to emphasize threats was really the cherry on top of his sundae. "**Or** mebbe you jest too thickheaded t'hear what Remy tryin' ta get through dat brique et mortier capachon o' yers. Mais why mince words? Consider the **'threat' **(he said, mocking her air quotes) a disclaimer and answer de damn question."

"And if I don't?" She threw back.

"Den Remy gonna work ya til ya crack." Leaning over, he added. "By de way chere, why you t'ink Logan don' bother trainin' one on one wit' nobody else? It not be what ya be t'inkin eider." He quipped, picking up her on her amused sarcasm. "Gambit don' wan none o' dat." He gave a second for that image to sink in before going in for the kill. "Course if ya still wanna hold out, dere's always de added bonus of video chats wit' de mansion."

"You wouldn't - "

"Keep pushin' yer luck, **petite**. Remy do what he have to ta get de job done."

"Fucking hell - would ya quit callin' me that already? Why do always have to be such a dick about everything?" For the first time since since he'd started interrogating her, that ghost of a smirk of his crossed back over his features. _That Southern Fried Swamprat was actually enjoying this..._

"Gambit gon' call ya what he want long as you be actin' de part." He rebuffed. An easy enough statement to make since he'd long ago resigned himself to the fact that Jubilee needed to be taken down a notch. "Guess we be doin' dis de hard way, non?"

Before the girl could even register what was happening, the bed did a full 180 tilt. Dumping her - covers and all - onto to a barely padded floor.

"Are you crazy?" She screamed. If it weren't for the searing pain in her legs, she wouldn't have given him the satisfaction. But they had yet to regain their ability to function. And being confined to a hospital bed had done nothing to help with that! Stifling her tortured groans, she threw him an 'eat shit and die' look of her own. "What the hell are you trying to do?" She grimaced. "Maim me for life?" Atleast **someone **(and so help her, it better have been a woman) had had the decency to put her in sweats. Else she would have been using words that hadn't been invented yet!

Gambit glanced down. Clearly unconcerned. "Not Remy's problem ya cain't move around." He mused, intent on ignoring her distress. Turning his focus instead to shuffling a deck of cards. _All this big talk was hurting her more than it was him. Quite literally, seeing as how all that oxygen she was wasting was gonna make her pass out. _

Unfortunately for her, Jubilee was only just starting to realize she may have bitten off more than she could chew. This wasn't some combat junkie she was dealing with. Wolverine may have been hellbent on physical torture, but Gambit's brand of training was more like psychological warfare. Favoring intellect over force – and using the latter only when the first failed._'Course, when you got right down to it, he really was just a manipulative bitch. A bitch who wasn't going to be quite so easy to wrap around her little finger._

"Ya wanna ret'ink dat answer petite? Or you be ready ta play?

Jubilee swore inwardly. Trying to determine the course of action that would earn her the least trouble. _Why oh why did she insist on shooting her mouth off to someone who would kill her in the danger room and STILL make her sit through an hour of interrogation with - not one - not two - but three - telepaths? _It was enough to make her want to murder him in his sleep. Especially since he had the infuriating habit of making her sing like a damned canary every time he opened his mouth.

"Oh for the love of - ! I just did it on the fly okay?"

"Bullshit. Dat hack job ya pulled on de medlab database be almost four weeks old."

"Wait, you were **spying** on me? **That's** how you found out?"

"More like watchin' to see jest how stupid ya t'ink Remy be."

"And here I thought you actually cared." She feigned, slapping an open palm over her heart.

Gambit was less than impressed. "Right **petite**. Cuz Remy go to all dis trouble pour jest anyone. Ya wanna know what make you so special? Well listen good, cuz Remy only gonna say dis once. You de type dat wanna make it all about you. Oui, you get burned. But ya give as good as ya get. Hurtin' oders 'fore dey hurt you, non? Only, you ain't hurtin' nobody. Jes makin' t'ings harder pour yerself when people figure out dey ain' gotta take yer bullshit. Start dishin' it right back to ya. Den ain't nobody tryin' ta help 'cause dey tired o' givin' a fuck. An' by den so are you."

If it had been coming from anyone else Jubilee would have been the first one to give them a fat lip. But the look in his eyes was so hauntingly familiar, she couldn't help but wonder how much of this was his experience. And how much of it was hers.

Gambit forced his hand up under her chin, turning her head up towards his so she could stare into a part of his soul that only she was allowed to see. "C'est vrai. It make t'ings hard when ya don' know who ta trust. But dere be a problem when ya cain' tell de difference 'tween help an' hurt. You ain't got no idea what Gambit do ta de people he ain't got no problem manipulatin'. So, if someone like him be willin' ta tell yer ass when ya bein' une tête dure, AN' stick around when ya fool-headed enuff not ta listen. Ya might wanna start givin' a fuck 'bout somebody other dan yerself. Whatever ma motive be."

_What? Was he some kind of a mind reader now too? Cripes, that was all she needed! _Gambit may have been as annoying as he was persistant. But even she had to admit that she was grateful he was probably the most perceptive person she had ever met in her life. A thousand insults - already springloaded to attack - flew from her mind as soon as his words hit their mark.

"Yeah – about that - "

Swallowing her pride (and God knows she had a lot of it), she made the simplest concession she could think of. As fast as the words would leave her mouth. "Thanksforhavin'myback." Seeing the skepticism on his face, she tacked on "and stuff." Hoping that would put the issue to rest.

It didn't. But he could still see how determined she was to pay him back for his troubles. His mood softened only to say "Mebbe you remember dat next time ya go lookin' pour a quick fix." By the next breath, he was back to practicalities. "'Course Remy believe dat when he see it. An' jest in case you be gettin' any ideas, Moira's database gon' take more dan dat mignon script kiddie mess.

"Ooo hit me right where it hurts. My subpar hacking skills." She sassed, trying to distract him.

"Need ta learn yer own an' quit rippin' off le petite chat." He threw back. Not missing a beat.

"Oh my GAWD are you ALWAYS this thorough?" She whined, making it as annoyingly valley girl as possible.

She should have known joking around wouldn't work. 'Specially not when he was shakin' like that. And yeah, that could have been for any number of reasons…. _Stress…. Personal issues…. Skyrocketing blood pressure from not being able to strangle her…_ But she'd lived with him long enough to know it was probably just that he hadn't had his daily fix yet. _Would it really kill these people to get the man a cup of joe? Maybe let him out for a smoke break?_ _ After all __**they**__ weren't the ones who were gonna have to deal with his detox issues. _

There was that glare again. "First rule of thieving chere. Quit underestimatin' yer target."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Right. Totally knew that. SO taking notes…."

"Specially when dey tryin' ta protect somethin' dey value more dan you."

_Now, __**that**__ was crossing the line. _ "Okay, ya can't complain about me stealin' scripts when you're takin' lines straight outta Sean's mouth."

"Long as you get de point." Gambit countered.

He was awarded with a snap of "duly noted" before she finally shut her mouth. Leaving him just enough time to reinterate his original question. "How long** exactly**?"

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three: It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn (Shake It Out)<br>**

Jubilee let out a growl. She didn't like explaining herself any more than he did. And the longer she took to mull things over, the more Gambit's self-congratulatory smirk began to interfere with that damn-near-trademarked poker face.

Of course, while he waited for her to fess up, the only thing she could envision was him in one of those old Kodak commercials. Saying something stupid like…_Waiting for the petite to wake up? Too many damn hours. Getting the petite ta talk? Fifteen minutes of selling ma soul. Making the petite realize there ain't no point in bein' a snot after she fallen and cain't get up? Priceless_.

"Gambit t'ink ya ready ta answer de question, non?" He fished, pulling her out of her thoughts and trapping her, yet again, into a confession. It only made her loathe him more.

"Look, it's not like I just woke up one day and said Life-sucks-I-think-I'll-kill-myself-cause-isn't-that-just-spit-in-everyone's-face-fantastic! I've been toying with the idea for awhile now. Ever since Logan ditched me. I mean it was building way before that. Not like I wanted to end it over his sorry ass. I was just so freakin' tired of having to fake being well adjusted and happy all the time."

"What **ideas** ya be toyin' wit **exactly**?"

"Maybe if you'd hacked into my laptop, you could have figured that one out too." She grumbled.

"Quit changin' de subject."

"FINE!" She huffed. Attempting to carry on with this horrific little "dear diary" moment. "If you must know, it started out as – well – daydreams. I don't know how else to describe it. It wasn't anything specific. Nothing really like lame like cutting. I guess it was more like…blanking out. Pretending I didn't exist. Atleast then, I didn't have to fight to get myself noticed in that shithole excuse for a family." Jubilee paused for a moment, reflecting. "I just wanted it to be like that all the time, ya know? If Beast'd let me out of my cage every once and awhile I coulda scored some O.P. Woulda dulled the pain. Helped make the time pass so I wouldn't have gone so overboard with the whole suicide thing. But that wasn't an option."

"You tellin' de truth **petite**?"

"Well there's no point in hiding it now. 'Sides, it's not like you can't tell if I'm lying."

"_Huh_." He snorted. "What de tippin' point den?"

"Thought that would have been a no brainer." After the - " Jubilee clenched her teeth right as Gambit give a tiny shake of his head. Willing herself not to think the word that wasn't coming anyways. "I just couldn't deal. Blanking out didn't work anymore. And the more pressure you guys put on me to fix things, the worse it got. Putting myself out of my misery was the only thing that made any kind of sense. So I cracked. Started searching for stuff I could get my hands on."

"Why you not say nothin'?"

"And have you rat me out to Beast? You do the math."

"Den you knew what you be lookin' for when you hacked de database? Right down to de side effects?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So why you in dere so damn long?"

"Why are you making **me** tell you what you already know?" She was pleading with him now - the only dead give away a slight break in her voice. It was something so uncharacteristic, that Gambit was finally thrown off his game. _So she'd finally figured out something was up._ The fact that he could not only sense her desperation from a mile away – but now hear the actual sound of it ringing in his eardrum - told him she was ready to be brought up to speed.

Knowing they wouldn't be able to get anywhere without some kind of mutual trust, Gambit knew it was time to level with her. Dropping down into a crouch, he placed himself eye to eye with a body that kept trying to fold in on itself. A face forever hiding from his questioning eyes.

Once again taking her face into the palm of his hand, he tugged it roughly towards him. This time speaking to her and her alone. "Remy need ta know if he can take ya at yer word chere. You be straight wit' him, he be straight wit' you, non?" He bargained, eyes flicking towards the cameras. Instilling it was in her best interest to place nice as it was the only way she had any prayer in the world of leaving this place without incident.

One look at his steely gaze, and she knew better than to fuck with him. There was also no mistaking that he wouldn't be fucking her over either - unless she gave him a damn good reason. Like leaving him for dead.

Despite the massive headache she was accumulating, she forced herself to meet his gaze. Her faith in his overall plan was shaky at best, but he was still the closest thing to an ally she had. And she trusted him more than anyone else here. Adamantly, she projected her own vow into those red on black pupils. Letting him know, in no uncertain terms, that she had no intention of gambling with him like that.

Un peu – a little

Go play! – I don't believe you

Brique and mortier capachon - Brick and mortar skullcap

Estie – Cajun slang for fucking

Comprends – Understand?

C'est vrai – It's true.

apris la voie dure – Learned the hard way

Un tete dure - hardhead

Mignon – cute little


	22. Born To Run

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the X-men. Marvel does. So don't sue.

**Author's Note: **

_*All of the grammar/spelling/wording issues in this chapter should be fixed now. Hopefully that will make it a better read. _**  
><strong>

The back story for this (like everything else) veers from the comics. Bastion's sentinal clinic was destroyed by the X-men in Wolverine #117. However, the events of Jubilee's escape will be explained later, as she wasn't rescued by Wolverine. Bastion himself was taken out by Bobby, Marrow, and Cecelia as in X-men # 69. The X-mansion has not been stripped of technology, and, as I don't much care for SHIELD, they get the short end of the stick in this story. Bastion's current whereabouts are based on the events of X-men Declassified #1

I do have the next couple of chapters outlined. I just don't know when I'm going to be able to get around to writing them. I'm trying to stick to one update every month (or two). But we'll see how that works out as I'm finishing my graduate degree this Spring. :D Again, thanks for the reviews and readership :) Now that the plot's progressed, I'm better able to work with various suggestions and keep the focus on the action.

**Song Suggestions:**

Part One: Trapt – Made of Glass

Part Two: Oleander - Are You There

Part Three: Jack's Manniquin - The Resolution

Part Four: 7 Lions – Born To Run

Part Five: The DNC feat. Gigi - You're My World

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Trapt – Made of Glass<strong>

Only when Gambit knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, he had earned her full trust, did he take his thumb and run it across her lips. Making it look like a friendly gesture. Jubilee's eyes widened in understanding, but Gambit just pulled her to him and tightened his grip, warning her to minimize whatever reaction she was about to have.

Using the momentary distraction of her moving body, he dipped a hand into the well concealed pocket of his trenchcoat. A pocket that Moira herself wouldn't be able to find – and pressed the button on a small device that ran static interference. At the same time, he slipped out a psychic dampener - keeping Jubilee's face well hidden between his hands and shoulder - as he placed it covertly behind her ear. As easily as smoothing back the strands of her hair.

He'd been wearing one himself, ever since the day he'd arrived. Making sure to keep it (and all his other gadgets) well hidden beneath his body armor. Never one to be taken off guard, he'd gone to the trouble to equip Maddie with the same things - even if she didn't have much use for them.

With both devices running, neither audio equipment nor Emma, would be able to pick up on their conversation. A conversation which could start as soon as Jubilee calmed the fuck down. The choking panic that had erupted from her as soon as she realized she'd been put under 24 hour surveillance had compelled him to hijack her fist. Stuffing it in her mouth and making her bite down to keep from losing it.

Shielding her from the cameras as best he could, he wrapped himself around her. Keeping a tight hand over her head, and muttering encouragement in his native tongue, as he tried to coax her down. Rubbing her back to hide the shaking. The only way he was able to get her to respond at all was by projecting the one real type of security he had to give - his own.

When the air finally evened out in her lungs, Gambit repeated his question. "Why so long chere?"

What came out was "needed to see my records." But the answer was so faint, he wasn't sure he'd even heard it. Only the tone in her voice made it evident what had really brought her to the brink of suicide. The sharp pause in his breathing told Jubilee he knew exactly what meant.

"Henry say he told you." Gambit stated, erring on the side of caution.

Jubilee swallowed. Hard. "He did."

"Den dat got nuttin' ta do wit' it?"

"No." She confirmed. A little **too** convincingly.

"Den what else ya be lookin' for?"

"The scans…"

"Gotta be more specific den dat chere."

Jubilee's stomach threatened to turn over as she ground out: "The scans Beast took when I first came back from OZT."

"Find what you be lookin' for?"

Jubilee's temper flared. "I **saw** it **okay**?" The words nothing more than an angry hiss. "I **know** there's something in my head! Something that Beast must've missed. Or figured I was better off not knowing. I mean…I guess I could understand…it was barely a shadow and only showed up on the preliminary. Coulda been anything…"

"But dat not what ya t'ink."

"No! Yes! I don't know! Maybe it's what's makin' me so fucking crazy! There's gotta be more to it than all this posttraumatic bullshit everyone's been goin' on about."

"Possiblement."

"You got anything better Gumbo? You saw it too – and don't you dare tell me you didn't."

"Oui. Dat t'ing **we** saw be a tracker chip. Same kind de sentinals use. Only dis one not fer universal control. It be one dat's tailored just pour you. ** Dat's** why Bastian able to get inside yer head. An' probably why ya wasn' jest at de wrong place at de wrong time."

"You mean he's still able to ambush me in my head AND in person? All because of some dinky little computer chip Beast could taken out any friggin time he wanted?"

"Oui. IF Henry had known what ta look for." At the look on her face, he put to rest what fears he could. "Don' worry chere. Gambit flag it 'fore he left - after he backhack all dose bread crumbs ya be leavin'. Docs got it out dis morning. Figures dose idiots say dey ain' seen nuttin' like it. Moira wanna give it ta Forge. Mais Remy not let her. Already steal it back and replace it wit' a fake. Gonna get one o' ma crew ta analyze de contents an' get back wit' moi. Soon as ya give de go ahead."

Knowing she had to see it for herself, Remy whispered intently against her hair. "Put yer hands on de inside o' de coat. Make it look like ya snugglin' or some shit. Find de inside pocket, underneath de right sleeve. You feel de contents easy enough if it be open. 'Jes make it quick. An' don' get fresh."

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2: Are You There? <strong>

Jubilee did as she was told, clandestinely rooting around until she found what she was looking for. One touch of the meddlesome object and she was already stuffing it back into Gambit's custody. Any longer and there would be nothing left of the thing - or Gambit.

"What kinda information we talkin'?" She pressed, still transfixed on the tiny object that had been the sole cause of all her trouble.

"Forge end up wit' it, he only gonna take it apart. De homme's a whiz, but he ain' got no experience in data recovery off dis kinda t'ing. Ma Associé crack into it quick. Figure out what all Bastian done in dere." He paused, skimming a thoughtful finger across her brow. "Find out how he be hotwirin' yer brain. See how it be affectin' yer powers. Finally get proof dat all dis ain' jes sometin' ya conjured up."

As he spoke, he moved his hands down against her ribcage, gently pushing her up and off - so that only their foreheads were touching. Letting his experience with Sinister speak for itself. His demon eyes betrayed their crimson solace. Even as they hardened over like molten lava to lay out the terms of an unspoken contract. A promise to bring down the son of a bitch.

The hope that surged within Jubilee turned to confusion. Leaving Gambit to guess what all she'd been told. Based on the fright in her features, it was clear whatever doubts she harbored went way beyond the usual misgivings. Times like this, he really hated being right.

"Wolvie said Bastion was dead. That he couldn't come back." Jubilee's voice trembled as it echoed the story she'd been spoonfed. "He said you guys wiped the floor with him. Handed him over to S.H.I.E.L.D. so Fury could dismantle him. This chip's the only thing left. The only place he's still alive is in my head."

Gambit's eyes narrowed dangerously. _Just what __**else **__had __**'Wolvie'**__ told her?_

OZT had been over four fucking years now. And S.H.I.E.L.D. had only managed to contain Bastion for three. Those couyons still hadn't figured out how some 'robot' had managed to gain back all those memories they sworn up and down were wiped.

_Bordel! _There wasn't even any proof he'd suffered permanent damage! Not that there was ever any chance of that since whoever was running the show over there made the brilliant call to leave his head in tact. _Bastard had probably been biding his time – absorbing all that technology they'd been feeding him through a fucking straw – to restore himself to full capacity. _

Gambit had really been hanging around Jubilee too long if he was considering rolling his eyes at an agency that was so inherently stupid, he could have nicknamed it the Juggernaut. But what was the point of having them around when all they were good for was sustaining a damn threat?

_Jackasses were about as helpful as Wolverine._ The only man in the entire X-world that had any idea of what Bastion had really done to Jubilee, and he wouldn't even fill her in on such minor developments like the bastard having a new fucking base of operations!

Not like Gambit hadn't helped him and le petite chat break into the fucking place. Sure they'd destroyed all the necessary files. But it was still a well funded program. Emerging at best. All three of them had left there with the absolute certainty that Bastion was making a comeback. And if Logan had cared for her at all - he wouldn't have left her so thoroughly exposed.

Maybe he had his reasons. But Gambit sure as hell didn't agree with them. How hard would it have been to prepare the girl ahead of time instead of going off to hunt down that glorified cyborg on his own? Not that the others were any help in that department. Had he been paying more attention, he would have atleast dropped a few obvious hints. Let her put the pieces together on her own and sat back to watch the sparks fly. It wasn't selfless by any stretch of the imagination. But unlike **some** people, Gambit knew how, when, and where to withold information. And when you were playing with someone like Bastion, it didn't pay to keep your teammates in the dark.

What little brainwashing he'd been forced to endure during that break-in had made his brain go completely haywire. Disorienting him to the point that he wasn't sure whether he doubted his own mind or those of his teammates. Whether or not, any of those planted seeds turned out to be true, he'd gotten a damn good idea of just how easily Xavier could be manipulated by those he trusted. Those alliances he forged were nothing more than double edged sword. One side swinging and the other getting its throat cut. And if it was one thing Jean Luc hadn't raised him to do, it was to turn his belly over like a bitch in heat to every bleeding heart that crossed his path.

He hadn't even planned to get involved until Jubilee came along and he'd been cornered into seeking out Emma - who knew more about the girl's situation than she was letting on. He'd quickly learned la femme fatale had her own motives for bringing down Xavier. After all, the two rival telepaths had been competitors in the mutant education market for years. Even if her original alliance had always been to the Hellfire club. Like Remy, she had supposedly changed her ways. But the difference between them lay in the depth of that commitment. And, if Emma's was anywhere near as shallow as what he was thinking, Jubilee was the last person he wanted caught up in her mind games.

That little empowerment speech of hers was just fuel for the fire. She obviously had some feeling for the girl. But the fact that she was so insistent to make the X-men pay for their crimes - at the expense of Jubilee's ability to handle it - left a bad taste in his mouth.

If she was really surrendering her control of the girl's progress over to him, why was she still insisting on calling all the shots? Leaving Jubilee to think he was the one that had planned all this out? It was obvious Sean knew even less about all this than he did. Which meant someone else was pulling the strings. And Gambit aimed to find out who. He had no intention of honoring any commitments to her unless his suspicions were proven wrong.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three: The Resolution<br>**

**"Right?" **Jubilee's voice resounded again in his head. Her rudely snapping fingers making him dispense with the theories.

Snatching up her wrist, he had to threaten a twist before she stopped. The one thing they had always agreed upon was that you could never mistake kindness for trust. And since force seemed to be the only thing that got her attention – or his for that matter – the best thing he could do was treat her like she wasn't gonna break. Which is why the nasty blow he was about to deliver needed to be done clean and quick. At the expense of the "higher ups" who were still working frantically to fix a nonexistant bug in their system. The level of their distress was as tangible as it was amusing, but it could only last for so long. Then it was all up to Maddie.

Lifting his hands to her shoulders, he squared off with her. Intending to keep her upright at all costs, lest someone catch on that it wasn't just the emotional trauma of training techniques they were discussing. "He not dead chere. Not even disabled. Bastion be alive an' well. An' up to da same tricks. Only worse dan before. Dere a new government program dub Wideacre Reboot, dat producin' Sentinals in de old OZT base. Bastion gone back dere. Been layin' low ta build himself back up after he busted outta S.H.I.E.L.D last year. If dey attempt ta dismantle him, dey didn' try hard enuff."

"Where's the proof?"

"Gambit help Wolverine and le petite chat break in an' steal all de files. Mais he be ready for us. Aim right where it hurt too. Le petite chat - she get de files. Mais we not get him - not by a longshot. Tell moi Cyke 'least have de balls ta tell ya 'bout de sentinal attacks startin' back up?"

"Ol' One Eye didn't tell me shit. Same with everyone else – including you. Professor's orders, **oui**? But Logan would have atleast - " Her voice lowered accusingly, breaking off at Gambit's dubious expression.

"Logan tell ya what Logan want ya ta know. Jest like Gambit wit' de X-men, non? Don' pay ta trust none of 'em."

"But Sentinal attacks are front page news! It would have been all over the place!"

"Not wit' de people dey got backin' 'em. De Sentinal attacks gettin' more refined. An' de program still in its infancy. All hush hush. Sentinals not attackin' in public no more. All dose human casualties equal bad press. An' dey ain' goin' after nobody high profile – like de X-groups neither. Don' nobody want dat kinda publicity. So far, dey only targetin' mutant factions dat gone underground."

"You're tellin' me those junk-in-the-trunk metalheads are gettin' slick enough to hide those spit-polished asses o' theirs in broad daylight?"

"Oui. But it not just de Sentinals Gambit be worried about."

He spoke carefully now. Deliberating over how to phrase his words without setting her off. His well trained eyes keeping track of her movements, just in case. "Dese hommes dat attack you…you get a good look at 'em?"

Although Jubilee just barely followed what he was getting at, it was enough to make her fists follow the same patterns his had earlier. Only Gambit didn't dare try to pry them apart. Instead he kept her locked in his gaze until she finally confided: "Starin' em in the face was like watchin' the guys that shot my parents. Nothing I do is ever gonna get 'em out of my head."

Gambit leaned in so that his jaw hovered just above her shoulder. A week long accumulation of stubble brushing against her cheek. He positioned the interference device imperceptibly closer to the core of their conversation. Leaving Maddie to do her thing. When he spoke, it was directly into her ear canal.

"Dey may not be who ye t'ink chere. Dat chip be affectin' perception. Make ya see whatever – or whoever - Bastion want. Not sayin' dat's what happen. But it possible. We crack de chip, mebbe we find de pochauts dat did dis. Make sure dey not live ta tell about it."

Jubilee's face drained. Her sapphire eyes flashing a brilliant shade of blue. She obviously didn't need to be told twice. Raising her clenched fists to his chest, she spread them out - allowing a surge of heat to pass through. The blaze of her retribution flowing past his armor and into his person.

Being able to feel as she did empowered his own commitments, even as it put him on edge. This was the only indication she'd given that she wasn't as calm about all this as she was pretending. And it was only a matter of time until the shock wore off. They needed to be long gone before that happened.

Finding it almost ironic that they were literally seeing eye to eye now, Gambit uprooted her hands and moved her away. Using enough force to take her down to the floor so he could begin a series of stretches whether she liked it or not.

It was enough to make their audience happy anyway. As he worked her over, the series of colorful expletives, inspirational death threats, slurs on his cultural heritage, attacks on his parentage, and curses covering everything from his lack of experience to his firstborn child, drew rounds of applause from the control room. Leaving Gambit to wonder just what it was Maddie was actually projecting.

La vielle was probably having the time of her life putting words in their mouth. Fabricating everything they were saying right down to their exact tones and expressions - after all the audio devices had gone temporarily offline. But she could only keep it up for so long, Her tricks were not unlike Emma's. Except that they were based on spirtual practice rather than individual ability. Leaving them virtually untraceable to even the most experienced telepaths.

He didn't have to explain to Jubilee how it all worked. All she had to do was watch for his signal. Jacks high, aces low. If he threw out a number, it was to rank how secure the connection was while it was being tampered with. Giving her some warning when it was about to fail.

Right now, everything was still hidden in between Maddie's filler.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Four: Born To Run<br>**

"How do you know all this stuff?" Jubilee groaned, trying to keep from paffing him as he rolled her onto her side and put all his weight underneath her thigh. Stretching it out as much as she could tolerate.

Gambit kept up the banter for her sake. Those facial expressions she was making were pure gold.

"Remy be a t'ief o' information chere. On top o' de regular stuff."

"You mean you **don't** make your living as a mob boss?"

"Keep it up. Ya be payin' it soon 'nuff." He quipped. Only half joking.

"I think I already am." She moaned as he pushed deeper into the stretch.

The second he let her go, she sent a nasty pop to his fingers. Swearing herself blind as he neutralized it on impact.

"T'ink o' it dis way **petite**. How you gon' fight somebody you don' know nuttin' about?"

Jubilee now lay on her back, panting and sweating. _If she were any more pathetic, she'd be killing herself to salvage what was left of her pride._

"You mean you don't..." Gasp. "rely on...Cerebro..." Huff. "like the rest of us...mortals?" The wheezing was making her words muddled again. "Not like you couldn't..." "use it yourself..." Hack. "what with all those enhancements."

"An' how you t'ink dey get dose enhancements?" He pointed out. Glaring at her as she at least attempted to look at him. "Cerebro only access de mind. Not de technology or security. Dat's where de Guild come in."

"The Guild?" Jubilee panted. Turning the words over in her mind until something clicked. "You mean the one that you were kicked out of…"

Gambit sighed. "Dat just a formality dese days." Putting a temporary end to her torture, he bent down beside her, brushing a hand against her cheek. If only to acknowledge they had the other's full cooperation. "What you be eyein' chere, be de reason de X-men got access to all dose government projects and off de grid playt'ings. Shiar not countin'."

"So Xavier's paying you to steal information?" She breathed – trying not to let the awe break through her shields.

"Oui."

"And that's why you really joined the X-men." She gleaned. Putting two and two together. "Not because you needed some place safe to hang. Not because you wanted to fight for mutant rights or whatever. But because you worked out some kind of buisness deal."

Gambit had to fight to quell the bitterness that bubbled up like acid in his chest. **That** particular story was a long, complicated mess which he had no intention of recounting. To anyone. Ever. Besides, Jubilee had never been one for patience, and there was still such a long way to go before she was ready to take on herself - let alone Bastion. Serious as he was about teaming up with her, the only thing he was actually obligated to do was get her back on her feet and prepare her for what was coming down the pike. After that, it was up to her. Wouldn't hurt to give her a little incentive to stick around, though. "Dat be a story you gon' have ta earn de right ta hear. Don't benefit ya to be pryin' into t'ings you not ready ta take on."

"So, you're really gonna leave them high and dry?" She asked, swiftly changing the subject.

Gambit winked. "De sooner de better, non?"

If it didn't hurt so much, she might have attempted a laugh. What she settled for was relishing in the fact that she was the one doing the interrogating. "What about Chuck?"

"Xavier get what he pay for." Gambit replied, nonplussed. Her next question sobering him up pretty fast.

"And where does that leave me _exactly_?" The mistrust was still evident in her voice. Even if she was fighting to keep up her spirits for the sake of the cameras.

Gambit was plain mesmerized. After all they had been through, she was **still **afraid he was gonna up and leave her in this hellhole? Much as he'd tried to persuade her to come here, he only been using it as a decoy to heal her up quick and cover their tracks. Leaving her out of the loop so she didn't leak anything. Or freak out. Or do something stupid like convince him to get careless and take off straight from the mansion.

"**Dat** depend on you chere. First you gon' pay Gambit back for savin' yer ass. Den we talk apprenticeship."

"Apprenticeship?" She chanced. More than a little curious as to what that meant.

The smirk Gambit was working on earlier grew into a fullout gleam. "All **you** need ta know is 'til ya get dat petite jolie tête o' yers straightened out, you gonna be runnin' favors for de Guild. Under Remy's watch. Best not be screwin' em' up eider. Jean Luc gets plenty sore wit' de new recruits."

"Favors for the - " Jubilee's mouth flopped open a few times before she let out a groan and buried her head in her hands. "Tell me this isn't happening."

Gambit just flashed her a Cheshire grin. "Aw don' worry chere." He reassured the horror-stricken femme. "Thievin's de fun part. Ya jest gotta make it through de next couple o' weeks. Wit' moi." Glancing at the control room, he really hoped Emma was eating this stuff up. _Nobody put his reputation on the line without drawing dead._

Salvaging what was left of her pride, Jubilee puffed up. Trying to sound more confident than she was. "Don't flatter yourself Cajun. Next to Wolvie's basic training, yours'll be a walk in the park."

"Mebbe." He retorted. "But dis ain't de basics. Time Remy t'rough wit ya, we see who be left standin'." He said, pushing himself to his feet, and smiling back condescingly. "Look like ya be needin' help already, non?" He offered, extending a hand.

Jubilee glowered, smacking it away. Pride meant everything between them. So it was only natural that stubbornness and superiority reign. Laughing outright, he watched her fumble around for a few minutes before she finally admitted defeat and gave him the shock of his life.

With the least amount of whining she could manage, the girl's arm had extended upwards. A silent petition to atleast **try** and work with her. With a raise of his eyebrow, he relented. Silently accepting her truce as long as it benefitted her. He was still going to push her past all tolerable limits. But he could see no reason not to be diplomatic about it.

Grasping onto her forearm, he let her use him as leverage to get her feet up underneath her. Her movements were awkward. Her limbs floundering for support. With all the stopping, starting, and near tumbles, she definitely wouldn't be getting any points for grace. But, by the time she was finally upright?

_Oh who was she kidding?_ All Jubilee wanted to do was collapse again. The only thing even keeping her on her feet was Gambit. At least with him supporting her from behind, was able to get a good look around the room that they were confined to. After it finished morphing anyway.

This room was similar to the danger room in that it was used for training. And operated using the same technology. But this wasn't any kind of training she was familiar with - save the gymnastics that she'd been forced to give up. Everywhere she looked there were parallel bars, weights, tricked out treadmills and ellipticals - even a small pool! It was everything she would ever need to get walking again. Only nobody had intended for this to take months on end. _Shoot._ _The only thing she was gonna get from Gambit was a crash course. _

"Geez Cajun! What are you trainin' me for anyway?" She cawed. "Tryin' ta get your paws on the Hope Diamond?"

Leaning up against her, Gambit held her in place. Issuing a silent warning to keep her mouth shut in the strength of his grip. Supporting her as he was, this was no time to start flashing cards. "You de one so concerned wit' de others bein' able ta trace ya. De sooner ya learn ta walk widdout help, de sooner we be on a flight ta N'Awlins."

_And Emma? _She tried to project. Forgetting the dampener was there to block her thoughts. Good thing too, because she wasn't exactly sure how her well her shields were holding up.

That didn't stop Gambit from picking up on what she was thinking. Or maybe it was all her worry that clued him in. Either way, he pressed his lips even closer to the inner flesh of her ear. Causing a shiver of reckless abandon to ignite the flame of her former rebellion. "What Emma don' know won' hurt her chere. Mais she be kept up ta date." She could almost hear the silent: _more or less. Less dan more._

Jubilee grinned. Throwing her words to the wind. "Good. Cuz I can't wait to see her hog tie yer Cajun ass and fry it up on a skillet!"

Echoing her dark chuckle, Gambit gave his own flippant reply. "She gon' have to catch it first."

Not allowing her to move away, Gambit pulled her back flush against him. Moving her shoulder length hair and leaning in possesively. All the while keeping his eyes trained on Emma. The White Queen knew damn well he could sense her through that one way mirror. And he made sure to let her know that his next words were aimed directly at her.

"Seein' as how Gambit can' do a t'ing without consent, Emma be callin' de shots. Mais since she be owin' _moi_ de favors, an' ya need a way ta lay low fer a while, what's a t'ief ta do?"

From up in the control room, Tante Maddie had to contain her all-knowing air. This White Queen now knew Gambit planned on training the girl outside of this place. But she had no idea the two Cajuns were playing her like a fiddle. Just as well, considering her gambits would determine how she was dealt with in the future.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Five: You're My World<strong>

Jubilee, however, was more concerned with just how easily she was getting sucked into Gambit's world. Feeling the need to maintain some kind of upper hand, she pretended to lose her balance. Giving Gambit no choice but to spin her around as she used her weight against him.

He caught on pretty quick though. Because as she threw her arms around his neck to keep her balance and reverberated "give me one good fucking reason" against his pounding jugular, he was ready for her.

The words weren't so much a mistake on her part. Just a denial of any evidence that some deeper bond existed. But as Remy touched his face to hers - so close she could write a book on his brand of cigarettes - Jubilee no longer had the ability to feign such ignorance. Especially not as he murmured back words that coated her heart like candy. "Because ma jeune deliquant. Remy gon' teach ya how ta fuck wit de people dat be fuckin' wit you. De way Xavier not gon' 'low. You wanna know what be on dat chip mon ange? Remy give ya better. He teach ya how ta destroy de fil putain dat put it dere. While de X-men be wagin' war on de frontlines, you and me gonna take dis joker down from de inside."

Out of everyone who said they wanted what was best for her, Gambit was the only one who actually seemed to know what that was. Torn between relief and a desire for vengeance, the fiery tears that fell against his skin were all the confirmation he needed to seal the deal with a hard kiss to the crown of her temple.

Jubilee was floored. In the space of a mere day, the Cajun had taken her past the point of complacency, and given her a glimpse into just how profitable a partnership with him could be. What was really going to be interesting was whether she still felt this same wonderment after he finished schooling her.

* * *

><p>Couyons – idiots (cajun slang)<p>

Associé – associate

Pochauts – pussies (cajun slang)

La vielle – The old woman

Drawing Dead – (poker term) Drawing to a hand that, even if it hits, will lose to a hand that is better.

fil putain - son of a bitch


	23. Airplanes

**Author's Note: Sorry guys! I posted the chapter a bit early, but took it down for a bit because I had to clean up a couple things first.**

*The flashback in this story is based on X-men Origins: Gambit #1

*The hierarchy of the Guild is as follows: The Guild's Houses (Thief and Assassin) are united now. Gambit and Bella Donna are the current Patriarchs (Heads) of each house. The Heads of Houses govern the ruling Council of Elders for the unified Guild. In Gambit's absence, Bella Donna has been acting as Viceroy (or go-between) for both Guilds (with the help of Jean Luc).

*I do have a timeline so that ages line up in this story. It will be worked in later. But for right now, all you need to know is that Gambit got exiled at 18 and got caught up in the Morlock Massacre at 21. Jubilee and Gambit joined the same year (just like in the comics). Gambit was 22 and Jubilee was 16 (I think I said 18 in a previous chapter when he met her running from sentinels at the mall – but just ignore that number). Jubilee stayed with the X-men for two years before leaving to go to the Academy at 18. If there's an obvious continuity issue, inbox me

**Song Suggestions:**

Part One: Airplanes – B.O.B. feat. Haley Williams and Eminem

Part Two: It's Too Cold for Angels to Fly (A-Team) – Ed Sheeran

Part Three: Early Winter – Gwen Stefani

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Airplanes<strong>

_Merde._ Emma was using this flight just to torture him. Remy Etienne Lebeau had never resorted to flying commercial a day in his life. So far, the only saving grace on this sacré flight had been the four bottles of cheap bourbon he'd managed to flirt out from under the nose of a 50 year old stewardess. _**Not **something he wanted to be remembered for the rest of his life. _Luckily, Jubilee was too busy purring away in her sleep to notice.

He was seriously beginning to rethink the position she had left him in, though. Her entire body lay sprawled across what limited space there was between him and the window seat. The window shade pulled down to support her kicked up feet and scrunched up legs. It all he could to keep from reaching over and straightening her out himself. _Girl looked worse than an overboiled crawdad, all bent out of shape and curled up into herself. _

The annoyed hustler shifted in his seat – or tried to anyway. Jammed as he was between the chair in front of him and the two crappy airline pillows supporting Jubilee's head (one of which she'd stolen from him). If those sorry excuses for pincushions weren't the only thing he had protecting the muscles she was hellbent on killing, he'd have been shoving a little harder to get her up.

Except he knew a frickin' lost cause when he saw one.

_Hmph. La femme better thank her lucky stars this bloody plane cabin was hotter than Hades. _ Because he was already burning to death in a black linen shirt and slacks. Which didn't exactly leave him with much time to miss the extra padding his body armor would have provided. His choice of civilized clothing was clearly not going seem to earn him any cool points in this fucking sauna. Except, perhaps, with the ladies.

He **was** currently entertaining more than his fair share of open-mouthed stares right now. And, that was the one burden he was **more** than willing to bear. Could he really help it that he attracted the attention of beautiful women everywhere he went? He certainly wasn't going to argue if a few of them decided to share (in no uncertain terms) how much they were enjoying the view.

Unfortunately, the only woman that mattered at the moment was the one who had him pinned down tighter than a packed sardine. Preventing any plans he had to flirt away the boredom. But then Jubilee was also enjoying quite a few of stares of her own. Just his luck, they weren't coming from anyone he would let within striking distance. He was already wary of the people who got near her in general. And apparently being unconscious and covered in his trenchcoat didn't mean what it should to all the pre-pubescent teens and henpecked husbands falling all over themselves to sneak a peek at what little there was to see.

It's not like he couldn't understand the appeal. Even clothed in a comfortable pair of sweats, you couldn't help but notice la femme's subtle curves. Quality went a long way over quantity where that was concerned. But Jubilee's obvious growth spurt just wasn't what he needed to deal with right now. The fully grown firecracker had filled out a little too well to earn her stature of "petite". And though he still retained the right to use it whenever she was being unnecessarily stupid, the nickname just didn't carry the same weight it used to. For one thing, the girl had gained damn near 30 pounds, and most of it had gone to straight to her chest. _Assuming the weight pressed against him was a fair indicator of that._

Now not only was she heavier to support, but he had to entertain the idea of fending off all these casual onlookers while she slept. And he was just too damn hot to have to bother. It's not like he hadn't sucked it up and handed over his beloved trenchcoat in the first place. Letting her 'guard' it so he didn't have to suffer from heat stroke. Of course, not even that had stopped a few choice words from falling out as he watched her turn his top-of-the-line deadly weapons concealer into her very own personal snuggie.

It was small consolation that le femme had a bark (and bite) could put a Rottweiler's to shame. Anyone brave enough to try and lay a hand on that coat turned blanket would come away sorry they'd ever been born with ears. _Or family jewels. _

And that wasn't even counting the ticket-selling-popcorn-waving-fixed-bet catfight that would ensue with another female. He didn't even want to **think** about that. 'Least not when they were trying to keep a low profile.

Okay, well he **did **want to think about it. As an experienced con artist, Jubilee knew better than anyone how to work a crowd. And, she'd gotten more than enough practice using those skills to turn a quick buck at the mall. To this day, he was probably the only one (besides Xavier) who knew how she really got her spending money while living at the mansion.

She had Storm and Jean (of all people) fooled with her elaborate stories of buttering up 'Wolvie', working odd jobs, and scamming Bobby for all he was worth. But the girl plain sucked at getting rid of witnesses. All it had taken was one casual conversation with a mall security guard, and he'd gotten enough blackmail on her 'extracurricular activities' to keep her in debt 'til she turned legal.

Thanks to that veritable goldmine, he managed to avoid being an unsuspecting victim in her and Bobby's prank wars.

And now here she was - legal and learned. Without Xavier around to keep her on the most "enlightened" path possible. Wolverine had probably had the most luck out of all of them trying to convince her to change her ways, but if it was one thing the X-men never truly understood - it was this: You could take a thief out of the game, but you couldn't take the game out of the thief. You'd think since they'd been hustling for most of their natural born lives, the others would figure out it was a little too late to be giving them a slap on the wrist. The only thing they could really hope to do was reinvent the rules.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: It's Too Cold Outside For Angels to Fly<strong>

Stealing another look at the girl, Gambit felt a surge of recompense at just how much he'd been given to work with. Jubilee wasn't near as fragile as she looked. And after just three weeks of physical therapy, her ability to cause damage had increased exponentially. What she lacked was a way to control it.

The self-proclaimed 'Princess of Pyrotechnics', had blown out nearly every single piece of equipment Moira owned._ Merci Dieu it was all holographic. Meaning he wouldn't have to shell out a couple of grand in repairs on top of the small fortune in 'cheap beer' he'd had to bribe Moira with. At best, he'd succeeded in getting in the good doctor drunk enough to forget the words accident-waiting-to-happen. _

After all **that**, he'd had absolutely no qualms about scraping the royal POP off her throne (which encouragingly went from being the bed to the floor). By the time she was fully walking again, he was taking great pleasure in throwing in extra rounds of therapy. Just for the hell of it. And when he'd finally had enough of "screwing her over", the only part of her body left in tact was her mouth. Much as they'd cussed each other up one side and down the other - it only seemed to spur her on. Causing her to perform at the level she was capable of.

She gave back as good as she got too. At least until the puking started.

Still, it was a relief to see how the copious amounts of physical labor had truly given her a way to harness her aggression. What's more, all of the guilt, distrust, and resentment which had defined their interaction at the mansion seemed to have replaced itself with an easy give and take. Maddie – the little witch - had gone so far as to call it attachment. But he didn't see it like that. Being on the same page - bonding - or whatever you wanted to call it - was one thing. But attachment was something they both could live without. Seeing how it had served them so well in the past.

_Besides, if la grande douleur dans son tchul didn't wake up soon, whatever 'attachment' they had was gonna get severed. _

_ Permanently._

_In more ways than one._

If it wouldn't have resulted in a completely unnecessary emergency landing, he could have already ditched la femme's behind for first class. But seeing as how the girl had trouble keeping her mouth (and her fireworks) to herself, leaving her for the stewardess to deal with probably wasn't the best idea.

Meaning he was stuck. Literally. Fighting a losing battle with his baser instincts to dump the firecracker on the floor. (Provided there was enough floor to dump her onto without crushing his legs).

_Vraiment_, the more chivalrous part of him realized that la femme had to grab sleep where she could – especially since she didn't have the drugs (or Maddie) to knock her out anymore. He also saw that the primary reason for this extended snoozefest was simply because she felt safe with him nearby. What he couldn't understand was why - for some godawful reason - he didn't want to deprive her of that.

Because he appreciated all this mandatory confinement about as much as his padnat.

_Mon Dieu! How she stand it?_

Sure, being a master thief required him to make the most of tight spaces; but, never had he been able to afford getting as comfortable with them as Jubilee appeared to be. To him, 'comfort' meant the difference between getting a job done right side up or upside down. And, dangling headfirst down a ventilation shaft, praying his idiot of a partner didn't drop the cable, was not how he wanted to spend his last few moments on earth.

So to see her almost at ease with these conditions was just downright unnerving. It was like watching one of those old circus tigers curl up in the corner of its cage every time the door was let open. Whereas, he'd be slinking around, looking for the first available opening - Jubilee had mastered the art of biding her time. Ignoring the severity of her own situation in order to decrease the severity of everyone else's. She may have been enough easy to capture back in the day, but the girl had quickly learned how to make some very damaging exits.

_Oui,_ he'd always been one of the ones who wanted to strangle her for being **stupid** enough to get caught. But, that was before he discovered she had half a brain underneath all that fat lip. Then he was really got pissed. After one whole month of putting the "team's safety" over a good night's sleep in someone else's bed, he finally resorted to teaching Jubilee the finer points of stealth. Or, in her terms: how to avoid painfully obvious situations caused by the running of her mouth.

He felt like he'd set some kind of record too - considering it had only taken him a week to figure out how to work her. Who knew sneaking her a pack of her favorite bubble gum would keep her tongue occupied long enough for her to learn something, and save his sanity in the process? A couple of nights a week, he'd filled in the gaps of her combat training and book learning - by teaching her a thing or two about lockpicking, machine frying, sneaking around without the flashbombs, and (her personal favorite) digging up dirt.

The girl was nothing, if not an expert gossip. And this she used to the X-men's advantage. While the rest of them were busy banging their head against a wall, Jubilee was working to buy them time. Using her skills to uncover the real plans of the enemy. Plans which were never as simple as the supervillian-of-the-week's bragging would have them believe.

So long as she attempted to do her part, he could see no reason to make her pay for being young and inexperienced. After all, he'd seen more than enough of that growing up in the Guild - and just from looking at her, he could tell she'd probably gotten the same kind of treatment elsewhere.

They had never been what you would call close, but was he was always there when she needed someone to see past all the crap she pulled. Even Wolverine on his best day could be oblivious to her acting skills. And Bobby had learned to merely joke his way around them. In their defense, le femme had devoted lots of time to perfecting said skills. Something about being bounced from place to place; abused and neglected by a string of crappy caretakers; and forced to leave the only home you'd ever known gave one a lot of time to practice the art of fronting.

The two of them had joined the X-men the same year and both were nothing short of amazed at how accepting they all were. Despite their crappy judgment of character. If nothing else, the X-men at least tried to talk the talk and walk the walk. However, some lines just couldn't be crossed with Xavier's Brady Bunch mentality.

Much as he and Jubilee had annoyed the ever living shit out of each other, he the only one who was able to recognize the subtle shifts in her mood. The change from perky to pissy was obvious enough, but the underlying weariness was much more evasive. She refused to look depressed in front of the others. Preferring to rollerblade, log in some danger room hours, or hide in her room planning the mother of all prank wars.

But, whenever the stress of fitting in made her too tired to function (and no one was around to rat her out or "ground" her) - she could usually be found with him bumming a cigarette. Hiding under the eaves of the roof to indulge a dwindling nicotine habit that she wasn't allowed to have. Despite her reputation as the world's biggest blabbermouth, she was the only one who let him smoke in silence. Neither pushing for information, nor pushing him away.

Seemed only fair to return the favor. In fact, after two years of regular smoke breaks, and working to move past the same old tired bait and switch routine, he'd come to realize something no one else cared to know. Jubilee, for all of her clinginess, didn't actually depend on any of them.

This was a teen who'd known from the start what she would be branded as: a weak link. A teen who'd grown up so determined to change that, that she somehow managed to convince the world's (second) deadliest X-man (and lone wolf extraordinaire) to train her.

The one thing about him she had always let define her was his defiance - even in the face of death. This she combined with his loyalty to the X-men, making it her own. She had always acted in their best interest - having faith they'd do the same for her. Hoping they would come, but knowing if she never saw them again, she would have lain down her life for the right reasons. What she had never counted on was that her family wouldn't even care enough to confirm her whereabouts until it was too late. Or claim her dead body.

When you got right down to it, all the X-men had ever taken her for was a potential casualty. One that had to be protected until she reached the age of accountability. Which gave them the perfect excuse to leave her to Wolverine - and he'd gotten past tired of picking up the slack. None of them (save Logan) would ever know that what had really saved her from being a true casualty was her carefully crafted personality.

No matter how much she tried to brighten their world (shouldering their burdens…playing caretaker...providing in-house entertainment…), most days it was all she could do to get herself noticed. And la femme was smart enough to figure out that maybe if she talked in everyone's ear 24/7, someone would at least have the sense to notice when her flapping gums went AWOL.

Of course, just because the girl had perfected the art of hostage situations didn't mean she had to take all his perturbed pushes as an open invitation to bunker herself down either. _As if **he **were the one hurting **her. **_After a few more half-hearted (and unsuccessful) attempts to rescue himself, Gambit finally acknowledged defeat with a resigned huff of air.

_Maybe la femme deserved the rest._

After all, he **had** pushed her harder in the past two weeks than she'd "ever been pushed in her life." (Something she oh-so-charmingly felt the need to allude to every time he was kind enough to let her draw air back into her lungs.)

_Zut! _ Far as he was concerned, all this numbness was a small price to pay for some peace and quiet. He had to admit that the ability to hear himself think was much more enjoyable when it wasn't a battle of willpower against the one woman who had found a way to be so obnoxious not even sleep could cure her.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three: Early Winter<strong>

Of all the things Gambit could say about this situation, the one thing he couldn't say was that he hadn't seen it coming. Soon as Emma had started in on the 'hunk of junk' Maddie was flying, Gambit just knew he was about to get pissed on. But atleast he had the satisfaction of knowing exactly how much he deserved it. _Better to keep that walking fashion faux pas thinking she still maintained the upper hand while he got the pleasure of pushing every last one of her buttons. _He'd decided early on that letting Emma read their movements like an open book was much better than defying her outright.

Like everyone else, she didn't want to deal with him directly. Just assumed she could manipulate him into doing her dirty work like he manipulated everyone else. It was mildly insulting how convinced she was that he was just going to dump that 'dirty work' off – leaving her to come swooping in and make good on her investment. They both knew that all this free airfare was just her way of pinning him down. It was obvious enough that commercial airlines held way more appeal than exhausting all her energy on Cerebra. Better still that they happened to be a particular pet peeve of his.

_Oui, he'd keep Jubilee in one place, bien._ Because even if he did try to keep Emma in the dark about their whereabouts - he could only do it for so long. And, nowhere was security tighter than in the Guild's hometown. N'Awlins was a nondescript, unsuspecting location for its coven of Elders which had never once been revealed during all of their years of expansion. Under their protection, Emma's interference would be kept to a minumum. And If Rogue or any of the others bothered to look for him at all, he'd be warned of their movements far in advance.

So he'd cordially accepted her not-so-gracious offer - trading in their semi-cramped jet for an intolerably cramped airline. Though it certainly wasn't his fault if she was too busy being smug to miss the voodoo curses muttered behind her back. (Maddie's spell for the woman's untimely end was seconded only by Gambit's for a gift that kept on giving. Split ends really were a bitch and a half to get rid of.

_Mais n'importe quoi. _ In the meantime, he had to deal with heading back home. À La Ville ce Suin Négligé. The one place he was even less welcome than the X-mansion. Jean Luc had succeeded in smoothing over all of his past transgressions with the Council. But not even he could fix the wounded heart of a woman who deserved better than what he'd given her. A woman he'd spent years trying to run from.

_Bella Donna... It always came back to Belle. _

Up until now, he'd always respected the boundaries of his (however loosely) enforced exile. But there was no point in delaying the invitable any longer. As Patriarch of the Thieves Guild and one of the two Heads of Houses, he had to go back.

It was time for him to reclaim his rightful place on the Guild's governing council. Alongside Bella Donna Boudreaux - Matriarch of the Assassin's Guild, and other reigning Head of House. She had been acting as Viceroy for both Guilds in his absence for quite some time. And even though the two of them had established a sort-of-working relationship, his return was bound to cause problems.

Trying to unite both Heads of Houses within a single governing body was hard enough without their hearts being entwined in some age old power struggle. He wasn't sure he could be in the same state with her – let alone underneath the same roof. But he had to find out. And more than that, he had to make it right.

The foggy tendrils of the bayou still called out to him. Penetrating the crux of his memories. Begging him to come back to the place he'd once called home. Just as they had on the night he'd left.

_"Take me wit' you!" Belle's voice broke through his fury. Her exquisite white wedding dress tarnished by the stains of her brother's blood. "Ain't nuttin' holdin' me here!"_

_ "Dat's a lie Bella Donna!" He warned, trapping her tiny hands in one of his own. "Ya got a life dat mean **everythin'**. De Guild. Yer Associates. Yer family." _

_ "Our families be de ones dat causin' dis! Dey be usin' us like pawns!" She cried out, stamping her foot._

_Her words hit him like stabs from a dull knife. Utterly useless in their attempts to make him see reason when there was none to be had. _

"_You really mean dat Belle? Ever since de time ya be little, ya be followin' Julian 'round like a pup. Hangin' on yer papa's every word. Now Remy take all dat away an' ya tellin' him ya ain't gon' mourn nuttin'?" __The rage exploded up out of him much like his emerging powers had moments before. Casting her out into the emptiness that had always lain between them. Thief. Assassin. _

_For all his bitterness, he couldn't look at her. Didn't bother to catch her when she fell, tears streaming down her face. Mourning the life she was never going to have. "Julian a fool! Let pride get in de way o' everything!" _

_ "Get in de way o' what?" He'd laughed. Unmoved. "What we got goin' fer us? I cain't give ya de life ya want. We cain't have no family. 'Stead we gotta bring together a couple o' guilds dat want nuttin' ta do wit' each other. Always havin' ta watch our backs, knowin' dey gon' play us apart." _

_He'd always tried making sense out of this chaos they were born into – for her sake. But Remy could see now that he never stood a chance. In Belle's mind, this was all just some fairy tale. One that could still have a happy ending. _

"_We coulda made it work!" She was pleading – screaming now. "Bon sang! We still can Remy! Ta hell wit' dem!" Before he knew what was happening, she had launched herself at him. A man who stood frozen in time - letting anger and despair slowly chip away at his still beating heart. _

"_Seriously? Ya t'ink dat gon' work?" _

_Dead._

_His voice was dead. _

_Buried as deep as his wife's hatred, which he could still feel burning a hole straight through his chest. _

_With blazing eyes, he turned on her. Demanding the answers he already had. "Ya ready ta be exiled jest like moi? Never able ta see yer family? Never takin' yer rightful **place** in de Guild? I give it a year. Mebbe two. 'Fore ya start hatin' moi much as ya swear ya don't now."_

_ There. A glimmer of light. Understanding perhaps before her pupils faded to a dull gray. "Ah...Ah meant it for de best – Ah t'ought -"_

_ "Rien. Don' say nuttin' Bella Donna. A man who take up wit' an Assassin's daughter? Dat man gotta have a death wish. Bien sur."_

The answer was firm. Final. Tragic. Leave it to him to pick the words that would cleave his soul in two, turning the tides of her heart towards something darker. Less pure. He still loved her - no matter what his mouth said. But she wasn't strong enough to share in his fate. And it would be foolish of him to let her try.

So he'd left her standing at the altar. A cold heartless bastard turned professional thief. Doing any job so long as the price was right. Having no time for useless sentiments, as he did. And when he was unable to channel all the extra energy created because of it, he sold his soul to a madman.

_Only took a massacre to make moi see how truly twisted I be.  
><em>

Then everything came flooding back._  
><em>

His emotions.

His memories.

His role in all of it.

His future.

It all fused together in a single moment. Causing him to try and save his former fiancee all over again. Only, this time her hair was white instead of braided blonde.

Maybe in another lifetime, they would have been more to each other than what they were. But, given the trouble of romantic entanglements and thievery, all he could afford was a friend. And that, he had found in his in his weather witch. Stormy was the one who urged him to join the X-men and make peace with his family. It had taken him years to be accepted fully within their ranks. Probably helped his case that he'd saved more than his fair share of asses along the way. And found a way to make both sides profit from the exchange.

Question was, had it really been worth the trouble? Saving Belle from certain death to place her in the hands of Gris Gris – her new husband? Then going back to an on-again, off-again soulmate who only wanted the man with no memory of his former crimes?

Not even Storm truly needed him anymore – now that she was leader of the X-men. They each had their place in the others' life. But they both knew it was time for him to move on. And now here he was taking on the problems of a full grown woman who didn't know how to deal with the solitude anymore than he did.

Big a talker as he was, he never did have much faith in himself. It always took the women in his life to bring out the best in him. His track record wasn't any better than Logan's in that respect – but the difference between them was that Gambit kept coming back to them, not out of loyalty – but out of need. He'd heard the term 'lovesick puppy' used on him more times than he'd care to admit.

Problem was, he was so good at manipulating women, he could make them see anything he wanted. Anything except the truth. And it had hurt every romantic relationship he'd ever been in.

Reality never did measure up to a lie.

And because of that, he had no plans to settle down any time in the near future. Maybe someday, someone besides Storm would see past all the façades he presented. But until then, he would have to live by the infamous words of Mardi Gras – for all of its masks and illusions.

_Laissez les bon temps rouler._

* * *

><p>Merde - shit<p>

grande douleur dans son tchul - huge pain in his ass

Zut – Shoot

Bien - alright

Mais n'importe quoi - But whatever (literal translation not important)

À La Ville ce Suin Négligé – The City That Care Forgot (the official nickname of New Orleans)

Bon Sang - the french equivalent of For Heaven's Sake! (literal translation good blood)

Rien – nothing

Bien sur – For sure

Laissez les bon temps rouler – Let the Good Times Roll


	24. Just For Now

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the X-men, Marvel does. So please don't take me for all I'm worth unless you want some pocket lint. Cuz that's about I all I have to play hardball with : )

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all for being so patient! I really had fun writing this chapter and can't wait to see where the rest of this story takes me. That being said, three months to wait for an update is not as good as two, but…still better than six!

CHAPTER EDITED AND FINALIZED :) :) :)

**Part One:** Just For Now – Imogene Heap

**Part Two: **Shut Up - Blink 182

**Part Two:** So Good – B.O.B.

**Part Three:** Don't Trust A Ho – 30H!3

**Part Four:** Please please please let me get what I want - Slow Moving Millie

* * *

><p><strong>Part One: Just For Now <strong>

Jubilee had gotten wise to the fact that her companion had stopped listening to her ages ago. You'd think she'd be used to it by now (seeing as how it was the only reaction she'd ever gotten for most of her natural born life). Still, even the most hard and fast rules had their exceptions. And hers had codenames to boot.

Gambit and Storm were the ones who were just shy of stalkerish with their eavesdropping. They put a self-proclaimed attention whore such as herself to shame - knowing everything there was to know about everything before there was anything** to** know. Granted, it did take them awhile to put two and two together when said events hadn't yet become immortalized in the mansion's gossip network (thanks to hers truly).

The mansion was just full of drama - though rarely were the facts themselves anything to write home about. Half the time she just made shit up because people were gonna talk whether she egged them on or not. 'Course when it came to throwing her fellow teammates into a talespin, she never did pass up an opportunity.

_So what if most of the stuff she spouted **was** embellished?_ Just because she was remarkably talented at blowing stuff out of proportion didn't mean she bought everything she said hook, line, and sinker. If people paid half as much attention to her genuine conversations as they did to her gossip, they might actually learn something about the fine art of fact-checking. Besides, anyone dumb enough to believe some of the whoppers she came up with only had themselves to blame for looking stupid.

_Shoot!_ What people really oughta do was thank her for trying to protect their privacy! _Not that anyone ever saw it like that... _Besides,when the facts really were something to write home about, she was usually the last to know. It was those two (would-kill-her-if-she-ever-called-them) busybodies who sniffed it out of her faster than a pair of daggone bloodhounds!

By the time she'd talked everyone else to death, the two of them would still be half hanging on - trying to discern fact from fiction. Likely placing bets on her source material too. For whatever reason, they seemed to be the only two people in the world besides Wolvie who could tell the difference between what she said and what she meant.

Shockingly, Storm spared her the lectures, while Gambit was content to just let her run her mouth. But they both had a habit of giving her that look to "knock it off" when she was about to get in over her head. Normally she paid attention (though not without throwing in her two cents). But none of that really mattered whenever Mr. Scott (I-Never-Told-A-Lie-In-My-Life) Summers got involved. And whenever he decided her mouth wasn't important enough to resort to an ass kicking, he popped a couple asprin and left Storm to take over the mansion's second-in-command killjoy._  
><em>

Thank God **Storm** never intervened unless she was forced to. After a few months of butting heads, they'd both decided it was way easier to avoid each other altogether. Rather than get locked in some stalemate of epically unwinnable proportions. The kind where you both either had to call a truce or die trying.

To this day, Ororo was the only X-man Jubilee would never have the balls to call a lie-detecting Venus Fly Trap to her face. Or _behind her back. _ And that was **after** toiling away in the weather remote control's one hundred and ten degree greenhouse. _During monsoon season if she really mouthed off...  
><em>

Much as she loved **those** special assignments, it was no secret for Storm that Jubilee preferred her nicotine supplier over the one who put her to work. Leaving Gambit to stack the odds in his favor. Jubilee half-suspected he was earning some side action from his beauty queen African bestie in exchange for sparing her from the Scott-worthy migraines that came with keeping her in line.

_Ok, so most of that was speculation._ It was way more likely that Gambit just enjoyed finding stuff to hold over her head. Especially since the profits were pretty much guaranteed. For all of the Cajun's efforts to keep out of her business (and boy did he ever try hard...), the man **still** had enough blackmail material on her to bribe the freakin' CIA with.

It was pretty disconcerting to think just how much the man kept to himself. Especially when he knew stuff that would get her A) kicked out of the mansion B) indicted by a federal grand jury or C) all of the above, It was only when he had a real bone to pick with her that he threw her under the bus. And it was usually over some petty bullshit that even she had forgotten about.

Then again, Gambit's idea of "petty" and Cyke's idea of "petty" had never much lined up. The sorry swamprat could always count on Ol' One Eye to take a single act of petty theft and turn it into three counts of grand larceny. _Apparently she_ _wasn't the only one with a flare for the dramatic... _

She never had figured out exactly where Gambit got his information. Nor did she care. Since he never forced anything out of her nor made her do public penance for what he learned (unlike Storm), Jubilee didn't see much point in putting a stop to it. It had always been a point of pride that the Cajun could dig up dirt that not even your own grandmother knew about. So why not let him have his fun?

_Shit. _ Even when the dude was **brooding**, he was digging around for dirt! Half the time she couldn't sit within ten feet and sigh without getting a backwards glance. Certainly was nothing like the way he was acting now - head propped back, eyes glazed over. Staring straight ahead at nothing. _  
><em>

With a quick, paranoid look around, Jubilee made extra sure that the Future Mrs. Lebeau hadn't suddenly flown up and parked herself on the wing of the plane like in that one episode of the Twilight Zone. It wasn't like Rogue didn't have a penchant for popping up wherever the Cajun happened to be. Though usually there were witnesses to stop her from killing him or jumping his bones.

_Maybe both. She never could seem to make up her on mind on that one...  
><em>

Breathing a sigh of relief that there was literally nothing to stare at but clouds, Jubilee started crunching numbers in her head. Translating it into the only type of equation that had ever made any kind of sense to her.

_Okay, Jubes...time to prove ol' Frosty wrong. Bitch doesn't think you know what a variable is. BUT, a variable is an unknown. Question is, how many are we working with?  
><em>

_Hmm...lesse here...  
><em>

_Rogue? No checkie. Definitely.  
><em>

_Lots of flirty women? Gag and Double Check. _

_Cigarettes? God forbid someone light up in a no smoking zone...meaning we're both SOL. So that's a no go.  
><em>

_But Gambit? __Awww hell no...__He should totally have his tongue stuck down somebody's else's throat by now!_

_Which completely threw off the whole equation: _

(Lots of pretty women) - (jealous ex-girlfriend) – (oral fixation sticks) ≠ compensational flirting

_Either I've got one seriously depressed Cajun on my hands or one seriously ignoring me (and everyone else) Cajun...  
><em>

_And seeing as how I just spent the last hour and a half talking to myself..._

"**YO GUMBO!" **

Gambit's entire body jerked to life. Making him to want to slap the spit out of whoever's loud mouth was pulling him away from a world he been trying so hard get lost in. If only for the remainder of the flight. He might even have been successful in getting back there were it not for an extremely ill-timed jab to the kidney. Making him see the only option la femme was going to leave him with was to curse the ground she walked on.

By the time the ringing finally stopped in his unsuspecting, half-dead eardrums, he was having to stop his reflexes from trying to fix things for him. Much to regret, he caught the flat part of his fist right before it made direct contact with Jubilee's smart-alecky trash-talking windpipe. It took everything he to swing the hand back to his own ear instead – acting like it might actually do something to prevent further damage.

Wasn't his fault if his previously well-conditioned nerves hadn't yet gotten used to the whiny valley girl voice being forced on them 24/7. _Hmph._ he was surprised they'd lasted this long. Unfortunately for him, there was just no way to impress the code of the Guild on the girl **now** - what with all these well-meaning witnesses and wannabe social workers watching his every move.

And if Jubilee hadn't picked up on that by now, then he was straight gonna hijack this flight, take it all the way to France, steal the fucking crown jewels, and declare himself King for a Day. Because la femme was doing anything and everything in her power to annoy the piss out of him while she could still get away with it. Not really caring that she would be paying for it later. _Every last little bit... T_here was only so much of that mouth that any one person could take – and he was already past sick and tired of not being able to do a damn thing to keep it in check.

Maybe next time he'd just give her a microphone and let her go at it until they were both good and deaf.

_Merde..._

_For all he knew, he was already.  
><em>

_Probably why she was still yelling and gesturing like he'd grown two heads...  
><em>

_Eh, bien..._

He'd learned a long time ago that the only way la femme could distract herself from herself was by talking. To herself. And that was all fine and dandy with him – just so long as he wasn't expected to contribute to her significantly one-sided conversations. He had a hard enough time keeping up with the girl's ridiculous rants on a good day without being expected to interject logic in between them.

Clearly, that was asking for too much, though. From somewhere it registered that he'd missed yet another ten minutes of la femme's chatter. Maybe thirty. _But who was counting? _

All he knew was if he didn't start responding back, la femme was gonna blow a damn gasket. She'd been spewing quite a bit of topic changes in the last hour and a half - the latest of which may or may not have something to do with sparkling vampires and a tricked out Wesley Snipes.

_'Course,_ that _was assuming he'd even heard her correctly...and he **really** hoped to God he hadn't... _

Because although Jubilee's mile-a-minute mouth was indeed helping to keep her from literally exploding with energy, it was also making it perfectly obvious that she didn't trust the silence forming around them. The brazen blowhard would never admit it in a million years, but she was still running scared. Doing everything in her power to keep the mood between them predictable and upbeat so that no one (least of all him) would suspect how completely creeped out she was by the other passengers.

Of course, only Jubilee would have the utter gall to try and grandstand everyone with her exaggerated and unending word flow. She should have just saved herself the trouble and started threatening people outright. Though to be fair, if la femme had nothing to do but sit quietly and stare back at all the people staring at her...a lot of these not-so-innocent bystanders would find themselves on the receiving end of a few anxiety-ridden scorch marks.

Oui, it definitely would be entertaining to watch some of these hot and bothered frat boys get their comeuppance, but that was a risky hand to play without a full deck. So if the worst thing he had to worry about was keeping up with some ridiculous diatribe on the in-flight movie that neither of them were watching? Well, all things considered, that was a small price to pay for keeping them off the six o' clock news.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Two: You Never Had It So Good <strong>

Just his luck that halfway into what Gambit thought technically qualified as conversation, Jubilee figured she'd had enough of being a movie critic and had moved on to more important things. _Like his thievin' ass.  
><em>

"Spill it Cajun! What's **with** you? I thought fer sure you'd be tripping all over yourself to get back to your natural habitat."

The native N'awlander grunted. Too lost in thoughts of payback to pay her much mind. "Sure as hell wuddn't mine." He muttered.

"Well whose** was** it then?" She whined, stretching out her legs. "You could **at least** tell me who I have to thank for this hopefully once-in-a-lifetime experience."

When he refused to answer, she took her head and dug it straight back into the shoulder she knew good and well was sore.

"Mautin fille! Keep ya carcasse ta yerself!" Snatching his injured appendage back from her clutches, Gambit attempted to circulate feeling back to the places her body had left a permanent dent. _Bordel! _It was bad enough the rabble-rousing spark was (God forbid) bored. But whereas he liked to keep all his noise behind closed doors (for obvious reasons), Jubilee like to get shit started right out in the open.

Oh sure, people were going to stare at her regardless of whether she kept her mouth shut or busted out in a chorus line. But Jubilee had never been the type to hold back for anyone or anything. And that only gave him two choices: Keep her contained or contain the damage. Understandably, he was gonna go with whichever required the least amount of effort.

Summoning the doe-eyed stewardess once again - the one he'd been wise enough to bribe beforehand - Gambit slipped her the sign that he was ready to commence with the sugar torture. He only hoped whatever goodies the woman delivered would be enough to make Jubilee shut the hell up before it ended in her own bloodshed.

It only stood to reason, that in his quest for some actual peace and quiet, he **would** forget the mansion's cardinal rule concerning their one and only firecracker: Nothing good **ever** came from letting Jubes eat her own weight in sugar. **Especially after midnight.** (Bobby's addition).**  
><strong>

Within minutes, Jubilee was downing enough pixie sticks to make any sane person go into a diabetic coma. But, Jubilee had never been what you would call sane. In fact, his assessment of her as a junkie hadn't been too far off – what with the fierce protection of her stash and the incoherent ramblings she garbled out between hits.

It was enough to make him think he should have just slipped her some bourbon and a nyquil chaser. Anything to keep from watching a full grown woman polish off sugar by straight licking it from her fingers. She wasn't even trying to be the least bit seductive with it! The poor Cajun was half-afraid she might just start snorting the stuff straight up her nose. But thankfully, she refrained. He wasn't sure he wanted to explain that one away to the (much prettier) flight attendant who'd come to collect the girl's trash.

After the woman's rack disengaged him in conversation, Gambit was left wishing he could just stare straight past Jubilee out the window. Considering who he was traveling with, flirting wasn't worth his time. Jubilee would only make his life a living hell if he left her alone for more than five minutes at a stretch.

Besides, la femme had already sensed that there was more to this whole trip than he was letting on. He might even have deluded himself into thinking she was worried about him, but that was stretching the truth far more than it needed to be stretched. The only one that girl was worried about was herself. And though she normally didn't pry into his personal life, or show him much in the way of pity, she wasn't about to let him leave her in the dark about any trouble it might send her way.

_Not when her accommodations were at stake...  
><em>

The girl's put-on whining about how he'd better be booking them some five star hotel suite was driving him batshit crazy. Even though it was opening up a whole pandora's box of ideas for payback.

_Maybe California girls really __didn't __do the 'whole swamp thing'. But **this** one was sure in for a rude awakening... _

Because until he knew for sure that they'd be allowed back in the city without causing mass exodus, the only five star hotel they'd be holed up in was Maddie's little shack.

Deep in the backwoods of the Bayou.

Where the only electricity she'd be enjoying was from a generator.

_Or maybe her fingertips...  
><em>

_Heh_...might even motivate her to regain the proper use of her powers. If she was really serious, he might even let her use a couple gators for target practice. _Give 'em something to throw up on the grill for later._

Seemed sensible enough, considering the minute his not-so-little firecracker found out about all this, she was gonna need something to blow up. And **bad**. Better for him it be some unsuspecting swamp creature and not his well-seasoned behind.

And anyways, just the thought of Jubilee taking out her frustrations off on a couple of gators that she'd eventually be forced to eat was brightening his whole outlook. Maybe he could sweet talk Maddie into fixing up some real live crow for dessert. Seemed to be as good a payback as any he'd been scheming up. Even better than all those crack jobs he was gonna waste her time with before she really figured out how to earn her keep.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Three: Don't Trust Me<strong>

For the first time since their flight had begun, the cheshire grin was back on Gambit's face and genuine as he turned back to face his fellow inmate. With one fell swoop, he responded to all her complaints. "Try ta show a little less enthusiasm, **petite**. Else Gambit might start ta t'ink ya like de idea o' dis here 'detour'."

"Yeah, yeah!" Jubilee dismissed, waving him away. "Y'know Cajun, since Frosty's so bound and determined to keep tabs on us, the least you could make her do is pay out the ass for it. 'Least enough to cushion ours, anyways. Keepin' it real here Gumbo, what problem could **you** of **all** people **possibly **have with priority seating?"

The question earned her a look that clearly said "think about it." Something she was undoubtedly incapable seeing as how she was scrutinizing the remains of a half-eaten twizzler like it held the meaning of life.

"What?" Jubilee rebuffed with perfectly practiced innocence. Leaving Gambit to shake his head. Being with her was really starting to make his brain hurt. How anyone could take the sight of a person massaging away a migraine as encouragement to keep running their mouth was completely lost on him.

"Look, I get it, ok? You have your professional reputation to uphold or whatever. But take it from me Big G, nothing screams 'incognito' like sticking your tall, dark, brooding ass in coach. **Which,** coincidentally, is known for attracting more unhappily married women than mommy porn. Or am I the only one that's noticed you're are the only person on this flight getting more stares than the **entire** 50 Shades of fucking Gray trilogy! Isn't that even the **least** bit disturbing to you? Me personally, I could have gone my whole life not knowing what some of these old maids are into! So please oh please oh **please** just tell me there's more to this 'executive decision' of yours than the fact that you happen get off on salivating soccer moms. Cuz let me tell ya Cajun - and I don't think I'm exaggerating here - **Pavlov's dogs** didn't slobber this much. There's no way this obsession of yours can be healthy!"

Gambit lazily cocked one eye open and rolled it back towards her. "You one to talk chere. Apparently you not be noticin' all de dogs dat be slobberin' over you too. Only dey more inta cellphones den books. Not like I ain't had ta short out a couple videofeeds."

Jubilee's face contorted with disgust. "Are you serious?"

"Would I lie ta you mon ange?"

Jubilee's impetuous eyes met his for a hot second before she socked him one good and low. The action earned a high charged kinetic pop against her thigh. Causing her to bitch in retaliation. "Honestly Cajun, I don't know how you expect us to keep a low profile when I've got all these crazy women staring me down like I'mma put up some kinda fight when they go and make a grab for your goodies! Just so ya know, I got other balls to worry 'bout breakin' besides yours!"

Tempering the course of another knee-jerk reaction to once again go for her windpipe, Gambit instead raked her over with a wicked glint. "Not to worry chere. Remy always come out on top where dat's concerned, _hein_? All you gotta do is save de ass-kicking fer after we make it past security. 'Least dat way de only t'ing dis Cajun gotta worry 'bout be where we 'gon hide de bodies."

"Ummmm, ya might wanna try telling that to your stalkers. FYI, they make those public service announcements for a reason. Just sayin' ya **might** wanna make sure they've had **all** their shots before ya try and bed em down with one of yours. Wouldn't want ya any catchin' **fleas.**"

The double entendre not lost on him. "Better fleas den live video feeds." He murmured reflectively. Watching with relish as Jubilee shuddered in contempt.

A quick flash of memory brought her kicking and screaming back to the mauling she which had otherwise been so carefully repressed. Now she had to wonder whether those creeps who'd done her in had been dumb enough to videotape anything. Mortifying as **that** was to even think about - if those fucktards had left **anything** floating around out there, they'd get everything they had coming and then some. She had enough sense to know that whatever harsh feelings Remy harbored towards her now, he would still track it to the source faster than those dumbasses could jack off to it.

But that wasn't anything she could afford to worry about right now. Not when these people were staring at her like she about to lose her damn mind – and Gambit (for all the help that he was) was staring at a pair of damn headphones! Words came flying out before she could even think to bite them back.

"Are you fucking **serious** right now Cajun? While I **realize** I'm probably the **last** person you want to be stuck on a plane with – (and **believe** **me** the feeling is **mutual**) - could you please just do me a huge fucking favor and **deal**? I mean, you could atleast **pretend** to give a crap about what I'm saying..."

Gambit slowly glanced up, knowing Jubilee had finally hit her limit. The girl's hissing had become a steady growl. But Gambit knew if he waited just long enough, he could probably let her get a couple of good roars out of her system before he had to step in and keep her from killing someone.

"...I mean, unless you've** SOMEHOW **got it figured that since there are **FIFTY** other **PEOPLE** on this **PLANE** who can **REPEAT** what I'm saying **WORD **for** WORD**, there's absolutely no point in **YOU** making all that effort!" Jubilee's eyes flashed as they honed in on the most obvious onlookers. All of whom made it a point to occupy themselves once again with their screaming infants and ipads.

Quick as a flash, Gambit grabbed her by the scruff of her hoodie and yanked her straight back into her seat. Due to the force of the pull, she ended up more in his lap than anywhere else. Quick as the words left her mouth, his hand found it's way back over it. Threatening her to bite down even once. _At least the death glares she was doling out were making a few of the more ballsy perverts think twice about who it was they chose to stare at. _

With a dazzlingly dangerous smile, Gambit managed to pass off her tirade as one huge joke. He sure had the people around them fooled because more than a few were trying to fight back smirks. Had they known he really did have his hands full holding Jubilee back as she lunged forward, foaming at the mouth, they might have sobered up a bit. Making his job a little easier.

It was only when Gambit felt Jubilee go slack – a sign that she was indeed willing to back down – did he finally sound off on the ear still smashed to his jawline. "I t'ink ya made yer point **petite**. Mais not so loud, **non**? Dere still be young 'uns on dis flight dat ain't been corrupted by dat mouth yet."

As if on cue, Gambit's thoughts pulled her towards the brunette in the seat behind him whose five year old son was pawing at the hem of her dress – trying to turn her attention back to where it belonged.

"Since when do you care so much about kids Obi Juan Kenobi?" Jubilee grumbled, soon as he took his hand away.

_Probably cause I be travelin' wit' one..._ He thought.

Though he refrained from saying as much.

Leveling himself on** that** playing field would only result in the inevitable mudslinging and name calling that clearly neither of them were above. And since this was neither the time nor the place, this was one conversation they were going to have to settle like adults.

Finally releasing his hold on the back of Jubilee's clothing, Gambit slid that devil may care grin back on his face. Switching from threatening to friendly for the sake of their audience.

Jubilee, however, wasn't fooled. Her body was still locked tight against his hip thanks to the the casually suffocating arm draped round her shoulders. 'Least he'd had the decency to let her inch back into her own seat - if only for the sake of appearance.

With the girl contained in his modified hold, Gambit dropped the hollow of his cheek down against her head. Doing what he could to calm her down. Amazingly she let him, despite the anger radiating off her in waves. He was, after all, keeping her from going off the deep end, and entertaining their audience with his stage whispers in the meantime.

"Mebbe Gambit don't feel like gettin' hit by all dese salivatin' soccer moms. He much prefer gettin' hit **on,** hein?"

Jubilee snorted. Turning her face as far away from him as she could get. "Yeah, if only you could make that preference a reality. If I had a dollar for every time you got slapped..."

"You'd be payin' de piper **petite**. So ya might wanna keep dis conversation PG-13. Less you plan on gettin' down and dirty in front o' all dese people."

Gambit noted with interest that the brunette behind him was thrown as he winked conspiratorially at Jubilee. The girl was still half-turned away, lip jutted out in a full fledged pout. But she caught his intention immediately. If **anyone** was impervious to his charm, it was la femme (Merci Dieu), but at least he could count on her she could see that the only way to get these people off their backs was to take themselves off the market.

And if flirting with her was the only way to do that, then she'd damn well better play along. Even if she had to scrub herself silly with Lysol afterwards. _God knows he would be… _

Having no choice but to call his bluff, Jubilee puffed herself up and slammed his arm back against her headrest. Coming nose to nose and staring him down while contemplating all the ways to make him die a slow, painful, humiliating death. "Don't **start** what you can't **finish** Swamp Thing."

Even Gambit had to admit that all those years of mimicking Wolverine had made her pretty damn intimidating. Too bad she wasn't anywhere near his level of counterfeit. "Remy hope dat ain' no challenge. Cuz he seen what all you and Iceboy get up to."

Jubilee just about gagged. Bobby had even less game than Bishop (a man better equipped to handle guns than girls). Besides, just the thought of Bobby touching her was enough to give her the heebie jeebies. Coincidentally, it didn't take her long to figure out how to take their conversation south of the poles. "Chill out Don Juan! It's not like you didn't have a chance to tap that frozen butt before I did. Just think what woulda happened if Jean Paul hadn't come on to that tiny popsicle before we did."

Gambit found himself choking back laughter. "Too bad non? Mebbe if Remy not leave him in de ditch fer breakin' his poor Cajun heart, t'ings mighta been different, non?"

"Ah well! All's well that ends in stitches. Hey! Did you really make Bobby freeze his own 'assets'?"

"Remy never kiss and tell chere." He played along, sliding just shy of her mouth to whisper in her ear. "But cross moi and you 'gon find out good and quick how much Gambit like ta blow stuff sky high."

"Mmmmm…if only I had the equipment you're looking for." She giggled deceptively. Threatening to send a few stray sparks perilously close to his own if he got any closer.

Remy leaned back, giving her some much needed space before snapping her wrists up. Never letting his fingers leave the safety of the fuzzy armbands she wore for cushioning. He pinned them down nonthreateningly against her lap, and gestured towards her lady parts with a nod of his head. Careful to stay out of direct line of fire should his next move not go as planned. "Dat so homme? How dis Cajun supposed to know? Don' pay ta not be advertisin' de goods ya clearly be sportin'. Why ya be tryin' ta hide anyway? Just exactly how many o' dese boys ya got fooled?"

Jubilee gave a devastatingly mannish pout. "Oh my God you are **such** an ass. No wonder you need me to keep loosening yours up for you!"

"Mais oui! 'Least I be a cute one_,_ non?" he winked, turning his gaze discreetly ahead.

"That you are." Jubilee mused. as she watched those same frat boys from earlier redirect their stares from her to a couple of sick bags. She could have sworn she saw the charred remains of a cell phone slide out on the floor, but whatever it was was retrieved far too quickly for her to tell. Even the women had gone straight back to waiting for their next Christian look-alike to pop up - since the one next to her was "taken" and "taking one for the other team".

The girl felt her bones relax before 'pathing back _if you're blind. _Which earned her a dignified snort from the Acadian. If such a thing could ever truly be considered dignified.

* * *

><p><strong>Part Four: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want<strong>

By the time she was in full control of herself again and Gambit felt safe releasing her, the only thing Jubilee could bother to think was at least they were back on speaking terms. Besides that, she was doing good not to vomit from the tangle of emotions still running through her.

Most of the time she knew better than to question the Cajun's quick judgments or harsh sentiments towards her, but for some reason she just couldn't seem to leave well enough alone. Although she didn't expect the man to tell her much of anything, she was determined to at least make him come back from whatever hell he'd been residing in. Because it really didn't appear to be much happier than her own.

As she waited with baited breath for an opening, she found that for the first time in her life she was almost afraid to speak.

"Hey Rems?"

The shaking, scratchy voice surprised them both. It was pretty obvious that Jubilee's vocal chords had rubbed themselves raw from all that talking, but she'd never had such a problem making them work before. Even Gambit looked a little worried. With a vacant sigh, the Acadian stopped looking through her, and started looking at her. Really looking. "Vouiche?" He breathed, wishing a little too desperately that he had a cigarette to distract her with. They both things between them were better left unsaid.

"It's just...you never...aww hell Rems, what's up with the damn silent treatment? God knows you've never had a problem telling me to shut it before. And while I'm not exactly complaining about your newfound generosity – do you really think you have to **bribe** me to be quiet?"

"_Oui_." He said simply. "Can't settle t'ings de same way in here as we would on de ground." He warned, eyeing her pointedly. "Just be glad ya got candy 'stead of a fist to the throat." Despite his harsh upbringing, the words made him feel a little guilty. Sometimes he got so caught up in being pissed with her that he sometimes forgot a forceful approach wasn't always the best approach. "Why ya be startin' in on dis now, chere?"

The words lingered on his breath as he exhaled the thick remnants of smoke that stayed permanently stuck in his chest and lungs. His face betrayed nothing but gray exhaustion as he continued to look at her. Entreating her to tell him exactly what was going on since he couldn't quite seem to figure it out for himself.

Jubilee wasn't at all sure she wanted to at this point. But she plowed ahead anyway. Knowing she'd probably regret it later. "I'm just saying if you want us to be on equal footing, you don't need to manipulate me into doing stuff for you. Yeah, I know it's your signature or whatever. But it doesn't work as well on me as it does with all those other bitches you hang out with. Trust me, if I'd really wanted to, I'd have put a stop to our blackmailing game years ago. But I didn't. Because you're just one of those people I absolutely love to hate. So I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that, yes I owe you. But I'd like to think I'm not just working for favors anymore. Feels like there's something more to it than that."

"Don' know what ya t'ink ya be workin' for petite 'cause favors all Remy got ta offer. Oui, I be de one trainin' ya, mais it not fer all de right reasons. Dis just a business deal we got goin' on and ain't nothin' noble about it. You help me wit' ma problem and Remy help you wit' yers. Jest simple give and take, dat's all. "

"Well, **duh**! I just don't get why you're taking on a crap deal! I don't have anything to offer except the fact I'm a certified basket case with some crazy stupid death wish. And you could have been long gone before I ever got jumped. Even Wolvie once said that's where you were headed. But you ended up staying. **Despite** what it would cost you. And, you can deny it all you want to, I know you did it for me. Or mostly for me. So go on and tell me there's nothing noble about it and I swear to God I'll believe you. But don't you dare write me off and say this is just about the X-men. Or just about Bastian. Because if that were true, you'd be acting just like Emma and rubbing it their faces. I really shouldn't have to remind you that** you** messed with **me**. So unless I have some astonishing information that you're just dying to get your hands on, then what the hell?"

Gambit's head dropped back. His mind lost somewhere between deep contemplation and the need to sleep. When he finally spoke, it was with extreme weariness. Like he was walking into a battle that he knew he wasn't coming out of. "Haven't figured dat one out myself chere. Only t'ing Gambit know is dat ya deserve a fightin' chance. And ya wasn't gonna get it anywhere else."

Jubilee fought against the burning in her throat. Against tears that threatened to come if she thought about the battles they'd each to endure alone. "You do too." She whispered. Softer than she knew how. "Deserve a fighting chance..."

Gambit refused to look at her. Bobby's words were already coming back to haunt him. It was true what he'd said. Remy Lebeau wasn't some saint that had Jubilee's back or anyone else's. And what he didn't need was another vengeful spirit on his conscious when he failed to live up to whatever her expectations happened to be. Fact was, Jubilee trusted him way more than he trusted himself. And he honestly had no way to tell her that without getting some naïve platitudes about how he had somehow risen above himself.

"Guess it's not worth trying to figure out all this stuff when we're already caught in the middle of it." Jubilee's voice fell low. Flat in tone, but not completely hopeless. "And I'm sorry about before. Sometimes I think I just need to make sure you're still breathin'. Celebrate the fact that we** both** made it out, ya know?"

Jubilee didn't offer anything more than that, nor would Gambit let her. What he did allow was for her to take his rigid fingers, and thread them through her own. Taking what little comfort she could from the multiple barriers he kept erected between them. Even though Gambit knew it was safest to respond with nothing more than apathy, he didn't pull away from her touch.

And as Jubilee left him alone and unfettered to work through whatever he might be dealing with, Gambit could only wonder how much of his situation she truly understood. Her grip on reality was questionable at best. But what truly bothered him was the fact that her natural energy had the potential to bring him back back from the shadows of his own faithlessness. Only one person had ever been able to do that, and she was the one person he could never have.

Of course by the time Jubilee resumed her regularly scheduled bitching, Gambit also had to wonder if this was the only side of her he was going to get to see. Because if this was what the rest of their trip was going to be like, he was seriously considering asking for a refund.

* * *

><p>Eh, bien - on well<p>

Mauntin fille! - Dammit girl!

carcasse - Dead Body (or dead weight)

Vraiment - True

Voiche - What?

* * *

><p><strong>Coming up Next Chapter – Jubilee gets inducted in the Guild while Emma confronts Xavier about "The Note"<strong>


	25. Author's Note (Part II)

Greetings!

I'm so glad you all have been enjoying Part I of this story. Due to extenuating circumstances I've had to put this story on the backburner for right now. Part II will be forthcoming when everything settles down, and that will take awhile – maybe next year. I will say that in the next chapter Emma confronts Xavier and Jubilee meets Bella Donna and goes out on her first job. Sorry to all who were hoping for an update instead of an author's note ::dodges all the computers being thrown at her:: But it's the best I can do right now. I appreciate the patronage and will get back to it as soon as I can.


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